Chapter Seven: In Which There Is Much Love
Legolas and Arwen were currently very busy doing something that was quite forbidden in the Last Homely House: playing "Go Hobbit".
"Do you have Sarabelle the Stupid?" Legolas asked, trying to be sly. He had his cards upside down so that Arwen could not see.
"Go Hobbit," Arwen said, celebrating her short-lived victory. She smiled coyly at Legolas, who smiled back, staring into her eyes while trying in vain to reach the pile of cards he could not see.
"Hairy feet!" Legolas yelled, standing up and dumping his matches from his lap. "I got it!" While trying to show Arwen the Sarabelle card, she saw all of his other cards, but couldn't tell what they were. They were upside down, after all.
"What the hell does that mean?" It was Jeannette. Legolas hastily put his hands behind his back as Arwen tried to scoop all the cards into her skirt. Jeannette snorted. "Are you playing Go Fish?"
Arwen blinked, sighed, and cocked her head. "No," she said. "We're playing Go Hobbit, but you can't tell Daddy. We're not supposed to." She saw Aragorn's dark shape behind Jeannette. "Aragorn," she cooed. "Send her away, we need a private talk."
"Um," Aragorn said.
Jeannette pulled Aragorn up next to her and wrapped her arms around him. "He's mine," she said fiercely. *Not,* she added silently. *But it'll get me my Legolas.*
Arwen, who was a whole foot taller than the woman with her arms around Aragorn, stood up. Not that it did anything to Jeannette's commanding presence in the room. "Aragorn is mine," she said. "And so is Legolas. They are both mine." She seemed to think it a blasphemy that Jeannette had her arms around Aragorn's neck. "Let go," she commanded. "You'll spoil the Evenstar."
Jeannette opened her hand. In her outstretched palm lay Arwen's jewel. "You mean this?" she asked smugly, tossing it to Arwen, who tried to catch it. She missed. "Aragorn doesn't want it any more, do you. sweetie?"
"No," Aragorn said slowly, shaking his head. He seemed dazed, but Jeannette knew why. She dropped her right hand to her side, letting the light hit the diamond ring on her second finger.
"Daddy's ring," Arwen whispered. "How'd. What."
"A present," Arwen said, inspecting the ring from every side. "A very nice present, too. Too bad Master Elrond didn't give it to you, missy."
Arwen blinked. Was the woman insulting her? "But... I gave it to him. I said I'd be mortal for him. I won't be pretty forever now. And for what? A stupid Ranger who doesn't even love me for more than a minute."
"I love you Arwen," Legolas said.
"Trying to grab a woman on the rebound?" Jeannette asked, laughing. "It won't work, Legsy. It's been tried before, and it always fails."
Legolas frowned.
"Wrinkles," Arwen reminded him.
"Oh yeah," he said. He looked at Jeannette. "I love Arwen, and Arwen loves me. That's the way of it."
"That's what you think!" Arwen yelled. "You're stupid! You hold your Go Hobbit cards upside down! They're written in Westron, idiot! You know I'm not good at reading that. that."
"Chicken scratch?" Jeannette offered.
"What she said," Arwen agreed fiercely, ignoring the fact that it was Jeannette who had said it.
"What are chickens?" Aragorn asked dully. "I've never heard of them in all my travels as a Ranger."
Jeannette considered. *How to put it easily for all these silly people?* she wondered. "The main food of my world," she said. "Everything tastes like it."
"Ah," Legolas said. "Like lembas."
"Nothing tastes like lembas-bread except for lembas," Arwen said angrily. "Anyways, he's just changing the subject." She glared at Aragorn. "You stay out of it or else I'll permanently attach the Evenstar to your neck!"
"That's harsh," Jeannette said.
"What?" Arwen asked, and then returned her attention to Legolas. "I don't love you! My heart is given to Aragorn." She sniffed, dabbing a tear that didn't exist from her eye. "My immortal beauty."
"I'll love you even when you're old and ugly," Legolas said, rather unskillfully. "At least you're pretty now."
Color left Arwen's face as if it was being washed off in a winter storm. "What?" she screamed. "I'll never been old and ugly! You see! I'll stay pretty until the end of time."
Jeannette coughed. "Not," she murmured. "You have no skill at all, Legsy."
"Keep your ugly face out of it!" Arwen's rage turned to vent on Jeannette.
"I'm ugly?" Jeannette asked. She picked a container of face cream from Arwen's vanity. She dipped her fingers into it, and began to advance on the unlucky she-Elf. "That goes too far. You'll regret the day you picked a fight with Jeannette Rivera." She smeared the face cream into Arwen's hair, turning it a disgusting green color. "Happy birthday," she said, wiping the remaining cream off her fingers onto Arwen's purple sleeve. It turned the same color as her hair. Jeannette handed the container to Arwen, who dropped it in shock. It splattered all over her brand-new velvet house slippers, turning them, you guessed it, green.
"How dare you?" Arwen spluttered. "Now I can't go to Daddy's council! I can't go Hobbit watching!"
Jeannette shrugged, grabbed Legolas by the collar, and began to drag him from the room. He shrieked and yanked on Arwen's hands, which were slippery with cream. She screeched and grabbed Aragorn, who screamed and ran to Jeannette's side. Together, the two mortals pulled the squealing Elves from Arwen's room, down the hall, and outside to where the great Council of Elrond was taking place.
Legolas and Arwen were currently very busy doing something that was quite forbidden in the Last Homely House: playing "Go Hobbit".
"Do you have Sarabelle the Stupid?" Legolas asked, trying to be sly. He had his cards upside down so that Arwen could not see.
"Go Hobbit," Arwen said, celebrating her short-lived victory. She smiled coyly at Legolas, who smiled back, staring into her eyes while trying in vain to reach the pile of cards he could not see.
"Hairy feet!" Legolas yelled, standing up and dumping his matches from his lap. "I got it!" While trying to show Arwen the Sarabelle card, she saw all of his other cards, but couldn't tell what they were. They were upside down, after all.
"What the hell does that mean?" It was Jeannette. Legolas hastily put his hands behind his back as Arwen tried to scoop all the cards into her skirt. Jeannette snorted. "Are you playing Go Fish?"
Arwen blinked, sighed, and cocked her head. "No," she said. "We're playing Go Hobbit, but you can't tell Daddy. We're not supposed to." She saw Aragorn's dark shape behind Jeannette. "Aragorn," she cooed. "Send her away, we need a private talk."
"Um," Aragorn said.
Jeannette pulled Aragorn up next to her and wrapped her arms around him. "He's mine," she said fiercely. *Not,* she added silently. *But it'll get me my Legolas.*
Arwen, who was a whole foot taller than the woman with her arms around Aragorn, stood up. Not that it did anything to Jeannette's commanding presence in the room. "Aragorn is mine," she said. "And so is Legolas. They are both mine." She seemed to think it a blasphemy that Jeannette had her arms around Aragorn's neck. "Let go," she commanded. "You'll spoil the Evenstar."
Jeannette opened her hand. In her outstretched palm lay Arwen's jewel. "You mean this?" she asked smugly, tossing it to Arwen, who tried to catch it. She missed. "Aragorn doesn't want it any more, do you. sweetie?"
"No," Aragorn said slowly, shaking his head. He seemed dazed, but Jeannette knew why. She dropped her right hand to her side, letting the light hit the diamond ring on her second finger.
"Daddy's ring," Arwen whispered. "How'd. What."
"A present," Arwen said, inspecting the ring from every side. "A very nice present, too. Too bad Master Elrond didn't give it to you, missy."
Arwen blinked. Was the woman insulting her? "But... I gave it to him. I said I'd be mortal for him. I won't be pretty forever now. And for what? A stupid Ranger who doesn't even love me for more than a minute."
"I love you Arwen," Legolas said.
"Trying to grab a woman on the rebound?" Jeannette asked, laughing. "It won't work, Legsy. It's been tried before, and it always fails."
Legolas frowned.
"Wrinkles," Arwen reminded him.
"Oh yeah," he said. He looked at Jeannette. "I love Arwen, and Arwen loves me. That's the way of it."
"That's what you think!" Arwen yelled. "You're stupid! You hold your Go Hobbit cards upside down! They're written in Westron, idiot! You know I'm not good at reading that. that."
"Chicken scratch?" Jeannette offered.
"What she said," Arwen agreed fiercely, ignoring the fact that it was Jeannette who had said it.
"What are chickens?" Aragorn asked dully. "I've never heard of them in all my travels as a Ranger."
Jeannette considered. *How to put it easily for all these silly people?* she wondered. "The main food of my world," she said. "Everything tastes like it."
"Ah," Legolas said. "Like lembas."
"Nothing tastes like lembas-bread except for lembas," Arwen said angrily. "Anyways, he's just changing the subject." She glared at Aragorn. "You stay out of it or else I'll permanently attach the Evenstar to your neck!"
"That's harsh," Jeannette said.
"What?" Arwen asked, and then returned her attention to Legolas. "I don't love you! My heart is given to Aragorn." She sniffed, dabbing a tear that didn't exist from her eye. "My immortal beauty."
"I'll love you even when you're old and ugly," Legolas said, rather unskillfully. "At least you're pretty now."
Color left Arwen's face as if it was being washed off in a winter storm. "What?" she screamed. "I'll never been old and ugly! You see! I'll stay pretty until the end of time."
Jeannette coughed. "Not," she murmured. "You have no skill at all, Legsy."
"Keep your ugly face out of it!" Arwen's rage turned to vent on Jeannette.
"I'm ugly?" Jeannette asked. She picked a container of face cream from Arwen's vanity. She dipped her fingers into it, and began to advance on the unlucky she-Elf. "That goes too far. You'll regret the day you picked a fight with Jeannette Rivera." She smeared the face cream into Arwen's hair, turning it a disgusting green color. "Happy birthday," she said, wiping the remaining cream off her fingers onto Arwen's purple sleeve. It turned the same color as her hair. Jeannette handed the container to Arwen, who dropped it in shock. It splattered all over her brand-new velvet house slippers, turning them, you guessed it, green.
"How dare you?" Arwen spluttered. "Now I can't go to Daddy's council! I can't go Hobbit watching!"
Jeannette shrugged, grabbed Legolas by the collar, and began to drag him from the room. He shrieked and yanked on Arwen's hands, which were slippery with cream. She screeched and grabbed Aragorn, who screamed and ran to Jeannette's side. Together, the two mortals pulled the squealing Elves from Arwen's room, down the hall, and outside to where the great Council of Elrond was taking place.