Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Crazy

Chapter Three

Laser Tag with the Intendant

"Mmm…." I snuggled close to Chakotay in bed, and licked his skin.

"Kathryn…"

I looked up. "What?"

"Oh never mind."

"What's with the never minds-Damn!"

The bed flipped over, and Chakotay was on top of me.

"Ow, Chakotay…"

He got off me. "Sorry, Kathryn."

"What's with me today? Am I jinxed?"

He looked at me with this sad look. "I'm afraid so." He held up a chart. "See, this chart says you're going to have a year of bad luck, because of…"

I threw the chart away. "What ever, I don't believe in that stuff, yada yada yada. This sucks…you want to sleep in the Holodeck?"

"Sure."

=/\= =/\= =/\=

I leaned against the oak tree in the park simulation with a pillow. "So, Chakotay, aren't you going to make love to me?"

"Make love?" He chuckled. "Maybe…" He started taking off my dress. "Right now is a good time…"

I laughed, and took off his pants. "Move to the left, Tattoo Boy…"

"Okay, Miss Ice Queen." He quietly kissed my ear. "You're lovely naked."

I laughed. "So are you."

"I shouldn't have seen that."

I looked up. "Intendant! Chakotay, did you put the privacy locks on?"

"Of course I did." He turned and screamed. "Damn, what's with the Hirogen armor?"

"We're hunting ensigns, of course." She put the helmet on. "Want to join?"

I pulled my nightdress on. "No. Come on, Chakotay."

He pulled on his pants and then followed me.

"Oh, come on, Captain! It's a sport on my ship, isn't it here?"

I turned. "No, it is not. Why are you here?"

"No Holodeck on my ship."

"Who's sanctioning this?"

"Tuvok, he's over by the cage."

"Which one?"

"Yours."

"Tuvok! What's with you today?"

He turned. "The Intendent made a great deal-if I get some ensigns, I can come with her."

"You're in my service, Mister Tuvok of Vulcan."

"Not any more!" He opened the cage, and the ensigns scattered.

I grabbed the Vulcan's collar and pulled him close, then flung him back. "Go, Chakotay!"

He kicked him up and to the Intendant's way. "Hey, we play dirty too."

The Intendant caught him. "Well, I challenge you to a duel, tomorrow at 2100 hours. Here."

"Well," I started. "It's a deal."

=/\= =/\= =/\=

I held the rifle at my shoulder.

"Katie, it's not safe." Chakotay kissed me. "I'm begging you with coffee on top not to do this."

"It's the only way to prove that I'm the leader on this ship." I pointed it at him, and put the Starfleet helmet on. "Come on."

"Well, all right." He then said, "It's okay, Kathryn."

"What?"

"Never mind."

As it was, I got hit with padds. To my stomach, that is. "I'm so tormented!" I yelled, sobbing. "Why? Why?" I turned to Chakotay, who was whistling. "Chakotay…"

"What? I have nothing to do with this."

There was a flash, and Q appeared. "Kathy?"

I took off the helmet and threw it at Q, who was hit in the butt with it. "Go away, Q." I walked to the Holodeck. "I'm here, Intendant, where are you?"

She started shooting at me from a tree, and I dodged it, shooting at her.

"You won't catch me!" The Intendant jumped to another tree and started shooting.

I took off the nozzle of the rifle and quickly changed it into a flamethrower. "Ha!" I started spraying it all over the trees.

"No fair!"

"It's a standard issue Special Ops rifle." I aimed it at her. "Surrender?"

"No." She threw something at the ground then ran back. It blew, and I was thrown back to a tree.

"Fuck you."

"Back to you." She came up and slapped me.

"Tag, you're it!" I slapped her with my rifle and ran. " Come on, try to catch me! Catch me if you can!"

"End program!"

I stopped. "Belay that, Janeway Omega Alpha 47!"

"Belay that, Janeway Alpha Delta 74!"

"Belay that!"

"Belay that!"

"Belay that!"

"Belay that!"

"STOP!" The computer yelled. "Shut up, both of you! Just…shut up!"

I glared. "You're my computer."

"No, I'm Starfleet's computer." The doors opened, and a gust of wind blew us out. "Happy?"

I looked at the Intendent. "Well, I guess no one won."

She laughed. "We both did. You wanna see my ship?"

"Sure!"