Special dedication to Kelly, who requested spice and angst. I was just about to upload this chapter when I read your review. You read my mind!
**
In the dark, Summer reached for her portable CD player and headphones. She turned the volume up until the dial couldn't go any further. In about an hour, she was going to meet Danny under the boardwalk. In about an hour, she was going to become permanently numb. The soft voice from her music lulled her to close her eyes. She fought for a moment before giving in to sleep.
**
Marissa sat across from Luke in the booth, her mind a million miles away. She played with the straw in her soft drink, making sure to say an "Oh, yeah?" and an "Okay" every now and then so Luke wouldn't suspect she wasn't paying attention.
"And then Joe throws me the ball and I start to run down the field and…"
Luke's voice faded away as Marissa caught sight of Seth across the restaurant. He was alone. His dark curly hair was hidden under a black baseball cap. He didn't seem to notice her. For some reason that upset her.
"Hey, Marissa," Luke said. "Are you listening to me?"
She looked back at him. "Oh, yeah?"
"Oh, yeah, what?"
Marissa smiled. "I'm sorry, Luke. I've just been a little out of it."
"Do you want a refill on your iced tea?" Luke asked.
"No, I'm fine." She watched Seth take a sit at the counter out of the corner of her eye. "I'm going to the bathroom real quick."
"I'll get the bill," Luke said.
Marissa kissed him on the cheek before leaving. "Wait for me outside." She made her way towards Seth, tapping him on the shoulder for him to follow her.
In the back hallway, Marissa touched his baseball cap. "I didn't know you liked wearing hats."
"I don't," he said. "I just heard that hat hair is in now, that's all." He took off the cap. "So, how are you doing?"
"Better, thanks," she said, "and thanks for listening to me last night. It really meant a lot."
"No problem."
She stared at his eyes, at how they seemed to have a warm glow to them. Something she never really noticed before.
"You know, Seth," she started to say.
He waited for her to continue.
"Never mind," she said. She turned to go, but paused, turning back to wrap her arms around him. "Thank you."
Seth returned the unexpected hug, breathing in her flowery scent; it was not like Summer's strong vibrant fragrances. He pulled away from her and smiled.
Marissa felt awkward all of a sudden, but she smiled back. She slid her hand down his arm and into his hand, which she gave a gentle squeeze before leaving the hallway.
**
Summer woke up just in time to make it to the boardwalk. It was different here at night. More people were out and the air seemed to change from easy-going to energetic. Not Summer though. She was filled with discontent and chaos. She was looking forward to making it all stop.
She pushed past the people on the boardwalk: pushing a tourist out of the way, breaking apart a hand-holding couple. They didn't understand that she had to be somewhere. They didn't understand that she had an appointment.
**
Ryan stopped his bike at the sight of Summer running on the boardwalk. He watched her rush through crowds of people, pushing and fumbling through them. Wherever she was going, she wanted to get there fast. Curious, he followed her with his eyes until she seemed to become one with the crowd, but then, he saw her break away from the group and climb down the steps that lead under the boardwalk. No one ever went under there. Not unless you were a homeless person looking for a place to sleep or if you were looking to score some drugs.
Drugs.
Ryan ran to Summer.
**
Summer waited. She checked her watch. Ten after eight. So maybe he was late. The wind blew hard against her. She zipped up her blue hooded jacket to shut out the coldness. She checked her watch again. Eleven after eight. He had to be coming. He just had to be.
She approached a homeless man, who was munching away on an already half-eaten sandwich.
"I'm looking for someone," she said helplessly.
The man ignored her, greedily devouring his meal.
"Please…" Her eyes began to water. She became angry with herself for shedding tears. She was still feeling, still the weak person that she had come here as; someone she was hoping to leave underneath the boardwalk tonight.
A hand touched her arm. She turned to see Ryan. She blinked and a few tears escaped from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks.
"Go away," she said.
"What are you doing down here?" he asked.
She hated how he sounded sincere, like he really cared about her. She started to walk away from him.
"What are you doing down here?" he asked again, following her.
"Leave me alone, Ryan." She fought back the tears again. "Just leave me alone."
He continued to follow a few steps behind her. Soon, they were far from the crowds of homeless people and it was just them underneath the boardwalk. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore was the only noise that surrounded them. He looked at Summer again and realized she had stopped walking. He came up behind her, slowly making his way to her side.
"What are you doing down here?" she asked, turning the tables on him.
"I wanted to make sure you were all right," he said.
They stood together, listening to the ocean until she spoke up.
"I came here to meet a drug dealer." She laughed at her statement. "God, I'm so stupid. I should have known he wasn't going to meet me."
"Why were meeting him?"
"Duh, to get drugs." She lowered her eyes and her voice became soft. "I wanted to make it go away."
"Make what go away?" Ryan asked carefully.
"I don't know." She placed a hand on her chest. "I guess everything that's going on inside here."
They were silent again for a moment.
"My brother, Trey, was into drugs," he said.
Summer looked up at him, surprised once again at how he was opening up to her.
"Sometimes I would go with him to his corners and give out pot, pills, whatever was popular at the time," he said. "He lit up too, in our basement. He gave me my first joint, rolled it up and everything."
"You must be proud of him," she said sarcastically.
"I was." His eyes became distant as if recalling a memory. "I looked up to Trey. I wanted to be just like him, and now he's sitting in some jail cell, and I'm living the high life with Seth and his family. Do you think that's fair?"
"Nothing is ever fair," she said. "If you want a winner, you need to have a loser."
Ryan agreed with her silently.
"I never should have come down here." She shivered from the cold. "I was looking for an easy way out. It was a mistake from the beginning." She looked at Ryan's face, how it seemed to be filled with burden, much like the one she was carrying inside. She reached for him and hugged him. "Thanks for looking out for me."
He wrapped his arms around her frame tightly. He was suddenly aware of their closeness: how her breasts touched his chest, how her face was nestled in his neck, how his chin grazed the top of her soft hair. His senses seemed to go into overdrive.
They pulled away from each other, both acknowledging the intensity between them. He lowered his head and kissed her, slowly at first, testing, and then she responded. It was going to be different this time. Wherever they were going now, there was no turning back.
**
How do you explain what happened underneath the boardwalk?
How hard the wooden pillar was up against your back?
How warm his hands were as they slid your skirt and panties down your legs?
How his hot breath hit your skin like a gun shot?
How do you explain the passion in his eyes as he unbuckled his belt—and the wanting and the needing that came from your own eyes as you wrapped your legs around his waist?
How you do explain the pain and pleasure that came from him?
How you bit down on your lip to prevent yourself from crying out?
How he grabbed a handful of your hair and moaned with his head buried in your neck?
How it became awfully silent as he pulled up his pants from his ankles while you adjusted your skirt?
And when that was done, how do you explain the way he kissed you—a dance initiated by his tongue?
Summer found the answer that night after her shower, despite still smelling like Ryan and the boardwalk.
You don't have to explain anything if you don't tell anyone.