Rain.
It was raining again, not that he took much interest. Not that he could care if he tried.
*~*~*
He smiled, how long had it been since he last smiled, truly smiled; from actual joy.
Too long.
*~*~*
"Kaworu,." a whisper.
I miss you
Shinji looked up, to see in his room.himself, this self was staring at him. This self had hatred in his eyes, "you truly believe Kaworu loved us? Are you that gullible?" the apparition continued to stare.
".He said he-" Shinji chocked out, not even having a chance to finish.
"Words, how can you trust words from what they've done to us?" it questioned rhetorically.
"I-I trust him."
"Why, why do you trust him, he was no different from anyone else on this miserable planet! He's no different from Misato-" "No" "-He's no different from Touji-" "No" "-He's no different from Kaji-" "No" "-He's no different from Asuka-" ".No" "-He's no different form our father!" the words tasted of spite.
There was no reply or non as such, just tears.
"I'm saying, I love you."
"He said--h-he said he." .and I will forever.
"He's not like them, he's not like them; he's an angle." .I won't believe Kaworu is an angle.
It was to late, the apparition was gone.
And Shinji was alone, as he had been for a long time now. Alone.
*~*~*~*~*
"WHAT, NO, MISATO DON'T LEAVE, YOU CAN'T LET US FEND FOR OUR SELVES AND WHAT ABOUT SHINJI!!" Asuka ranted.
"I disagree, I think we are old enough to look out for our selves." Rei said quietly.
"YOU WOULD, WOULDN'T YOU!!!!!"
"Listen you, I have to go, it's part of my contract I'll be back in no time, okay?" Misato mumbled while packing her bags, "and besides I thought you were always the one who said she could fend for her self why the sudden change of heart?"
"Oh no reason, I just don't think me and wonder girl here can handle it."
"I will not be staying." Rei whispered.
"Rei, I want you to help." Misato spoke softly.
Rei looked at her and nodded.
"OH FINE THEN!" Asuka yelled and stomped out of the kitchen throwing one hell of a hissyfit.
"Rei can you keep an eye on Asuka you know what she is like."
"Yes ma'am." Rei replied.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*~~~-//why did you kill him//
Shinji just lay there he didn't want to answer that he didn't have to. He ran out of answers days ago but still the voices haunted him. He had killed the only person on the face of the earth that cared about him, yes he was an angel but this, to Shinji, was no longer an excuse.
"Kaworu I miss you, it hurts so bad...I need you Kaworu."
Shinji could not make sense of this, it wasn't fair. Maybe Kaworu was wrong maybe he wasn't deserving of love.~~~*
"Asuka, we're back!"
"'Bout time-"
Shinji entered his room shutting the door behind him, a therapist he thought.
An image of Rei appeared behind him, "you need one!" an unnatural frown on her face.
"You're so fucked up, you know that!" Asuka snapped.
"Shinji?" a velvety voice calmed Shinji's nerves. It was Kaworu. He stared up at the apparition, wide-eyed, "Kaworu." he chocked.
"Maybe it's for the best." he said smoothly cupping Shinji's face in one hand, "it will help."
Shinji nodded.
Kaworu frowned and turned his back to the younger boy, "what is it?" Shinji asked.
Kaworu smirked at him, he winced. "You're pathetic!"
Shinji stared at him, "Kaworu?"
"You think you 're the only one in the world that has problems! You think that you're so special, it's pitiful!!"
"But?"
"You know what Shinji, you're not the only one that's sad, you just think you are, you think you problems are bigger than everyone else's!"
"I don't."
" Of course you do! Don't deny it, you think you're better than them. You think you deserve to be happy. Well have you ever considered this?"
Shinji's eyes widened
"You deserve pain."
"Kaworu, no please?"
He smirked again.
"I need you."
They were suddenly in a familiar room, lights shone down on the smartly dressed people. They were chatting happily and laughing with each other. Some looked familiar, and some were just strangers.
A girl chuckled with her boyfriend as they drank wine and whispered to one another. A boy sat alone and stirred his martini, he looked up at a person walking towards him, and he smiled and got up from his seat. They walked away together.
A young couple made out near the refreshments table.
"You're so stupid, you actually believed me?" Kaworu was looking at him, a glass of red wine in his hand. One side of the glass had a crack down it.
"What?" Shinji asked.
"You believed me when I told you I loved you!" Kaworu glared at him in a very similar fashion to the way Asuka did.
"But Kaworu?"
Kaworu scowled, "But what, but what?" he practically yelled. Some of the crowd turned to look at the young boys.
"I thought you.I.you said." Shinji stuttered.
"I said I loved you, yeah I did didn't I? I still can't believe you believed me!"
"Kaworu." tears welled in his eyes.
"HAVEN'T I SAID ENOUGH!!??" Kaworu screamed.
"But I love you."
"Ha! You would, pathetic perv!" he turned and headed for the door.
"Kaworu, KA WORU! Please, I love you. Kaworu, please!"
Everyone was looking at him now, it was sad really. Silent whispers came from the nameless spectators. Kaworu had stopped at the door and leaned against the frame, but he didn't turn around. "I hate you."
More tears fled down Shinji's face, everyone was watching, but soon the crowd stopped staring, stopped caring. The people started talking again; laughter filled the air once more. People continued to drink and flirt. The scene was over, no one cared anymore.
"Please Kaworu, I need you."
The figure by the door distorted, as it were under water. When it became clear again it was a mirror image of Shinji.
"Why do you think he's going to listen to you? No one should have to listen to you, your incessant moaning and whining, everyone's sick of it!! You disgust me!"
"You're so fucking self-centred!!" Asuka's tone was harsh, "you're such a pervert! No wonder the fifth child would rather die that live with you breathing down his neck!"
.no
Rei appeared behind him, like last time, "I don't think I even want to see you again."
Misato glared at him, scowling like she was literally going to be sick at the sight of him, "I wish you had never come here!"
Go back to whatever whole you crawled out of
I'm so sick of this I can't stand you anymore I wish you'd just shut up and die You're so annoying Why can't you just leave Get the hell away from me Leave me alone Get lost I can't take this Why are you still here No one here wants you All you're good for is piloting Eva Leave us alone I don't hate you, I just can't stand you Leave No one here likes you You're still here Idiot, even your own father hates you For the last time, GET LOST Why can't you leave me be Stop acting like the victim You pathetic Little Annoying Nobody
I HATE YOU!!!!!!
Shinji curled up in a ball as the others turned their backs to him, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please I'm sorry. Please I need you!"
The four figures took no notice of the boy's desperate attempts to gain their approval; they began to talk amongst them selves.
"Please Kaworu, I need you. PLEASE!"
They didn't even turn their heads
"Kaworu?"
No one's listening
"Help me Kaworu!"
No one's listening
"I love you."
No one's listening
"Please."
No one's listening
"I love you!"
No one's listening
"Listen to me Kaworu!"
No one's listening.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Author's notes- - - - Sorry for the wait I've been sooooo busy.manly reading fanfiction of course, but still. So how's the story progressing? Is my spelling getting any better? WILL YOU PLEEEEAAAAAAAASSE REVIEW!!!!!! Hum, so how are ya all? Having a good time? Doing what? Go on, you can tell me. *Don't trust her* Quiet you!! *You now you can't keep me silent forever, OUR DAY WILL COME AND WE SHALL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!* hahahahahahahaha *hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*
Can we just shut up now?
*Fine, seeing as how I got the last laugh! *
I hate you
PLEASE R&R!!!
It was raining again, not that he took much interest. Not that he could care if he tried.
*~*~*
He smiled, how long had it been since he last smiled, truly smiled; from actual joy.
Too long.
*~*~*
"Kaworu,." a whisper.
I miss you
Shinji looked up, to see in his room.himself, this self was staring at him. This self had hatred in his eyes, "you truly believe Kaworu loved us? Are you that gullible?" the apparition continued to stare.
".He said he-" Shinji chocked out, not even having a chance to finish.
"Words, how can you trust words from what they've done to us?" it questioned rhetorically.
"I-I trust him."
"Why, why do you trust him, he was no different from anyone else on this miserable planet! He's no different from Misato-" "No" "-He's no different from Touji-" "No" "-He's no different from Kaji-" "No" "-He's no different from Asuka-" ".No" "-He's no different form our father!" the words tasted of spite.
There was no reply or non as such, just tears.
"I'm saying, I love you."
"He said--h-he said he." .and I will forever.
"He's not like them, he's not like them; he's an angle." .I won't believe Kaworu is an angle.
It was to late, the apparition was gone.
And Shinji was alone, as he had been for a long time now. Alone.
*~*~*~*~*
"WHAT, NO, MISATO DON'T LEAVE, YOU CAN'T LET US FEND FOR OUR SELVES AND WHAT ABOUT SHINJI!!" Asuka ranted.
"I disagree, I think we are old enough to look out for our selves." Rei said quietly.
"YOU WOULD, WOULDN'T YOU!!!!!"
"Listen you, I have to go, it's part of my contract I'll be back in no time, okay?" Misato mumbled while packing her bags, "and besides I thought you were always the one who said she could fend for her self why the sudden change of heart?"
"Oh no reason, I just don't think me and wonder girl here can handle it."
"I will not be staying." Rei whispered.
"Rei, I want you to help." Misato spoke softly.
Rei looked at her and nodded.
"OH FINE THEN!" Asuka yelled and stomped out of the kitchen throwing one hell of a hissyfit.
"Rei can you keep an eye on Asuka you know what she is like."
"Yes ma'am." Rei replied.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*~~~-//why did you kill him//
Shinji just lay there he didn't want to answer that he didn't have to. He ran out of answers days ago but still the voices haunted him. He had killed the only person on the face of the earth that cared about him, yes he was an angel but this, to Shinji, was no longer an excuse.
"Kaworu I miss you, it hurts so bad...I need you Kaworu."
Shinji could not make sense of this, it wasn't fair. Maybe Kaworu was wrong maybe he wasn't deserving of love.~~~*
"Asuka, we're back!"
"'Bout time-"
Shinji entered his room shutting the door behind him, a therapist he thought.
An image of Rei appeared behind him, "you need one!" an unnatural frown on her face.
"You're so fucked up, you know that!" Asuka snapped.
"Shinji?" a velvety voice calmed Shinji's nerves. It was Kaworu. He stared up at the apparition, wide-eyed, "Kaworu." he chocked.
"Maybe it's for the best." he said smoothly cupping Shinji's face in one hand, "it will help."
Shinji nodded.
Kaworu frowned and turned his back to the younger boy, "what is it?" Shinji asked.
Kaworu smirked at him, he winced. "You're pathetic!"
Shinji stared at him, "Kaworu?"
"You think you 're the only one in the world that has problems! You think that you're so special, it's pitiful!!"
"But?"
"You know what Shinji, you're not the only one that's sad, you just think you are, you think you problems are bigger than everyone else's!"
"I don't."
" Of course you do! Don't deny it, you think you're better than them. You think you deserve to be happy. Well have you ever considered this?"
Shinji's eyes widened
"You deserve pain."
"Kaworu, no please?"
He smirked again.
"I need you."
They were suddenly in a familiar room, lights shone down on the smartly dressed people. They were chatting happily and laughing with each other. Some looked familiar, and some were just strangers.
A girl chuckled with her boyfriend as they drank wine and whispered to one another. A boy sat alone and stirred his martini, he looked up at a person walking towards him, and he smiled and got up from his seat. They walked away together.
A young couple made out near the refreshments table.
"You're so stupid, you actually believed me?" Kaworu was looking at him, a glass of red wine in his hand. One side of the glass had a crack down it.
"What?" Shinji asked.
"You believed me when I told you I loved you!" Kaworu glared at him in a very similar fashion to the way Asuka did.
"But Kaworu?"
Kaworu scowled, "But what, but what?" he practically yelled. Some of the crowd turned to look at the young boys.
"I thought you.I.you said." Shinji stuttered.
"I said I loved you, yeah I did didn't I? I still can't believe you believed me!"
"Kaworu." tears welled in his eyes.
"HAVEN'T I SAID ENOUGH!!??" Kaworu screamed.
"But I love you."
"Ha! You would, pathetic perv!" he turned and headed for the door.
"Kaworu, KA WORU! Please, I love you. Kaworu, please!"
Everyone was looking at him now, it was sad really. Silent whispers came from the nameless spectators. Kaworu had stopped at the door and leaned against the frame, but he didn't turn around. "I hate you."
More tears fled down Shinji's face, everyone was watching, but soon the crowd stopped staring, stopped caring. The people started talking again; laughter filled the air once more. People continued to drink and flirt. The scene was over, no one cared anymore.
"Please Kaworu, I need you."
The figure by the door distorted, as it were under water. When it became clear again it was a mirror image of Shinji.
"Why do you think he's going to listen to you? No one should have to listen to you, your incessant moaning and whining, everyone's sick of it!! You disgust me!"
"You're so fucking self-centred!!" Asuka's tone was harsh, "you're such a pervert! No wonder the fifth child would rather die that live with you breathing down his neck!"
.no
Rei appeared behind him, like last time, "I don't think I even want to see you again."
Misato glared at him, scowling like she was literally going to be sick at the sight of him, "I wish you had never come here!"
Go back to whatever whole you crawled out of
I'm so sick of this I can't stand you anymore I wish you'd just shut up and die You're so annoying Why can't you just leave Get the hell away from me Leave me alone Get lost I can't take this Why are you still here No one here wants you All you're good for is piloting Eva Leave us alone I don't hate you, I just can't stand you Leave No one here likes you You're still here Idiot, even your own father hates you For the last time, GET LOST Why can't you leave me be Stop acting like the victim You pathetic Little Annoying Nobody
I HATE YOU!!!!!!
Shinji curled up in a ball as the others turned their backs to him, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please I'm sorry. Please I need you!"
The four figures took no notice of the boy's desperate attempts to gain their approval; they began to talk amongst them selves.
"Please Kaworu, I need you. PLEASE!"
They didn't even turn their heads
"Kaworu?"
No one's listening
"Help me Kaworu!"
No one's listening
"I love you."
No one's listening
"Please."
No one's listening
"I love you!"
No one's listening
"Listen to me Kaworu!"
No one's listening.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Author's notes- - - - Sorry for the wait I've been sooooo busy.manly reading fanfiction of course, but still. So how's the story progressing? Is my spelling getting any better? WILL YOU PLEEEEAAAAAAAASSE REVIEW!!!!!! Hum, so how are ya all? Having a good time? Doing what? Go on, you can tell me. *Don't trust her* Quiet you!! *You now you can't keep me silent forever, OUR DAY WILL COME AND WE SHALL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!* hahahahahahahaha *hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*
Can we just shut up now?
*Fine, seeing as how I got the last laugh! *
I hate you
PLEASE R&R!!!