Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Crazy
Chapter Nine:
Kathryn Janeway's Commentary: Paris & Intendant Janeway's Date
Kathryn Janeway: This is Kathryn Janeway, reporting from behind a counter in the mess hall, Chakotay filming and with B'Elanna to watch Tom Paris and the Intendant's date.
Chakotay: Kathryn, shut up, they're talking.
Paris: So, Intendant, what's the best part of your job?
Intendant: Being the ruler over the Sol system.
Kathryn: Well, duh!
Chakotay & B'Elanna: Shh!
Intendant: Paris, what's with the poor treatment with the Captain, anyway?
Paris: Call me Tom, sweetcheeks.
*Intendant is glaring while eating*
Intendant: You didn't answer my question.
Kathryn: Well, I know. Paris is playing pranks on me…*chuckles*
Chakotay & B'Elanna: Shut up!
Paris: Well, she hates me, duh.
Intendant: Is that how you see it?
Paris: Yep.
Intendant: I see.
Paris: So, sweetcheeks, what's up in your world?
Intendant: Nothing, I suppose, since I'm here, with you.
Paris: No, I meant on your ship.
Intendant: Nothing.
*Doors open, mirror Chakotay comes in*
Intendant *irritated*: Didn't I say that I wasn't supposed to be interrupted, Chakotay?
Mirror Chakotay: Yes, you said that, but there's been an attack on the ship. I brought some prisoners. Your action, Intendant?
Intendant *beaming*: Torture chamber, Chakotay. Use the electric chains.
Mirror Chakotay: Yes, Intendant. *Leaves*
Intendant: I'm going to have some fun…
Paris *mouth full*: Yep.
Kathryn: How disgusting.
Chakotay: Hear, hear.
B'Elanna: Stupid Tom…
Intendant: Paris?
Paris *mouth full*: What?
Intendant: Disgusting, I didn't have to see that.
Paris: What, this? *opens mouth*
Intendant *mad*: That's it, Paris. *slams fork down and stands up* You're a Class-A Idiot. *looks directly at Kathryn's group and camera*
Kathryn: Uh-oh.
Chakotay: Yeah.
B'Elanna: Oh man…
Kathryn: I was talking about me. I'm going to blow!
Chakotay: Hold it, Kathryn!
*Sneeze from Kathryn*
Intendant: KATHRYN JANEWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *rushes over to camera and smashes it*
"Cover's blown!" I yelled. "Run!"
The Intendant grabbed my collar. "Why are you here? So you can see me have sex or something? Guess what? I hate Paris."
"Well, good. Now let me go."
"Not until I torture you!" She laughed.
The mirror Chakotay came in. "They're ready."
"Well, add her." She pushed me towards him.
"The spaces are full."
She groaned. "Oh great." She walked off, and I got off Chakotay.
"Sorry."
He left, and I slapped Paris, just for fun.