Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Crazy

Chapter 11

Seven's Coffee again…*groan from Kathryn*

The Intendant was kicking the replicator again. Her ship was in space dock, so she was stuck here.

"Fucked up replicator…"

I sighed. "Look, what's wrong?"

"See…Coffee, black."

"Make it yourself," The replicator said.

I groaned. "Not again…"

"Again?"

"Seven, stupid."

"I'm not stupid."

"Yes you are."

B'Elanna came over. "Damnit, the replicator won't give me coffee, either."

Chakotay came over and touched my shoulder. "You can try my coffee."

I took the cup, sipped it, and spat it out. "Ugh, it has sugar."

"Oops."

"B'Elanna, get a team to get these fixed. Chakotay, Intendant, you're with me."

"This is not an away mission!" She yelled.

"So?" Chakotay answered.

"Yeah…" I stopped. "Chakotay, that's my line."

"Oh…"

I looked in Cargo Bay Two and this is what I see…

Seven's gambling with Harry, Paris, Tuvok and the mirror Chakotay and their counterparts.

"THERE IS NO GAMBLING HERE!" I yelled, towering over them.

"Shut up!" They yelled.

I sighed. Damn it, I'm going to paint this ship tie-dyed if I don't get any sane thing on this ship.

The Intendant joined them. "Deal me in!"

I crashed to the floor. Chakotay was poking me. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

"Kathryn, this is not anime here…"

I stood up. "Yes, I know." I brushed off dust from my uniform. "Now, out!"

Chakotay was now dealing, and my right eye twitched. "Chakotay…"

"It's not for real things!" Seven yelled. "Join in!"

Creepy. I sighed and sat down. "Deal me in…"

B'Elanna ran in. "The replicator's working-" She bent over Paris. "IS THAT MY ONE-OF-A-KIND BAT'LETH?"

Paris turned. "Oh. I thought it was an-"

B'Elanna was strangling him. "You fucking husband…"

I sighed, and put my hand down. It sucked anyway. "Chakotay, what are you putting down?"

"Your bra."

My eye twitched harder. "MY BRA?" I yelled.

"It's okay, Kathryn, you have more." He put his hands up.

I started choking him as water poured down, drenching me.

The Intendant started laughing, and I threw B'Elanna's bat'leth at her.

"Hey, that's mine!" B'Elanna yelled.

"Wow, bra!" Paris yelled.

I snatched it from him. "That's mine."

"You wear a 38D?"

I dropped it. "No."

"She's a B," Chakotay said. (NUDGE, NUDGE, WINK, WINK)

I glared. "What's with my bra size?"

Cargo Bay 2 was filling up to our knees and going on.

"Bra!" The mirror Chakotay yelled.

"Mine!" B'Elanna, Seven, the Intendant, and I yelled. The men (all along) was betting with their girlfriend's/wife's bras. I never knew Chakotay was that perverted.

"It's a 34B!" He yelled. "And it's blue!"

"That's mine!" I shouted.

I heard a swish, and the water poured out, sweeping us with it.

"Hey, Paris, you fucking cheater!" The Intendant yelled. "Stupid-these are deuces!"

Chakotay was hanging on to me, and my tunic went undone.

"Cool…" Chakotay said.

"Cool, coffee!" Seven yelled, pointing to the cup.

"Mine!" the Intendant and I yelled. I grabbed it and looked inside. "Ugh." I threw it behind me, and it hit her head.

"Fuck you, Janeway!"

"Fuck you!" I yelled, covering up my nakedness. Chakotay was still hugging my tunic. "Chakotay, give me my tunic back!"

He looked at me. "But I wanna!"

"Damnit, the Voyager's flooding!" B'Elanna yelled.

I found the shuttlebay, and swam to it, and erected a forcefield that let water out but nothing in. It swept to space.

"Thank god!" I yelled.

"Here." Chakotay handed me the wet tunic, and I put it on.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

"Ah-choo!" I sniffed. "Chakotay, why us?"

He looked at me. "I have no idea."

The Doctor looked at us. "Well, since that…water thing…you've gotten the common cold." He injected us with hyposprays. "Captain, you have to let off with the coffee."

"Oh shit."

"And Chakotay, watch her."

"Sure thing."

We walked to our quarters, and I leaned against Chakotay. "You're going to let me have coffee, right?"

He ruffled my hair. "Maybe."

I sat in bed, and he pulled me closer. "Maybe not," I finished.

He chuckled and kissed me. "Or maybe after I'm done."

"We're sick!"

"So?"

I glared, and sneezed. "Damn, they should've conquered the common cold by now."

"Kathryn…" Chakotay was pining for me. Really pining.

"Shut up Chakotay." I lay down, and he brushed my cheek.

"Look, we'll get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay."

"Wait, Kathryn, there's something under you…" He reached under my butt (what a imaginative place!) and pulled out a camera.

"Cover's blown!" I heard Paris yell.

I growled, and stomped off to his quarters.

"Wait, Kathryn, YOU'RE NAKED!"

=/\= =/\= =/\=

I felt better, and got a cup of coffee, and went on the bridge.

"Report!"

"Nothing on sensors!" Kim said.

"No course change!" Tuvok yelled.

"Lovely captain aboard!" Paris stared at me. "Nice dress."

I glared, and he quickly turned. I sat down. "B'Elanna, get my replicator fixed please."

"Sure thing captain. And that dress looks good on you. Are you getting married?"

"No, the replicator gave me this when I wanted a uniform."

"Perhaps the replicator is sentient." Seven looked at me. "I fed each of them coffee as you asked."

I turned. "As I asked?"

"Yeah-Tuvok gave me your orders."

"Tuvok?"

"Yes, he said that you gave them the padds and told-"

"No, Seven, I was talking to Tuvok."

"Captain, you-"

"You know that I give out the orders!" I sighed. "The Intendant."

The Intendant came in. "Did someone say my name?"

I glared, and the replicators spewed out hot coffee everywhere.

"Oh no!" Chakotay yelled. We all fell to the floor. (Anime style)

"Chakotay! Are we that stupid?" I asked, towering over him.

"No…" He looked at me. "But I like it."

I sighed. Today was a bad day…