Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Crazy

A/N: Chaotic Boredom: Here's Voyager as you requested…

Chapter 13

Paintballing Voyager! (Yeay!) And The Other Side of Voyager…

Voyager was on a M-Class planet, looking for supplies.

I…I had my artist set out and started painting the scenery when something splattered on my canvas.

"Yeah, 3 points for the Captain's canvas!" Paris yelled, holding up a gun with blue and green splatters.

I turned. "PARIS! You bastard, what have you done-"?

"300 points for the Captain's window!" Kim yelled.

"Captain-" Paris stuttered.

"Where did you get that?" I yelled. "It's kawaii!" (Kawaii means cool in Japanese)

"Here!" The Intendant threw me a gun and a helmet. "Let's go paint Voyager!"

"Yeay!" I yelled, running over to Voyager, shooting everywhere. My paintballs happened to be tye-dyed.

"Captain, wait!" Chakotay came over, and I turned, shooting him in the…groin. "Ouch…shit…"

I took the helmet off. "Chakotay, oh my god, I'm really sorry!" I bent down to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I'm fine."

"300000 Points for hitting Chakotay!" Paris yelled.

"Oh, okay. Report." I smiled.

"The ship's okay, but it's all paint splattered. Is that washable?"

I looked at the ship. "Just how I like it. Now, someone find the beacons, and we'll be on our way."

"Uh, captain?"

"Yes?" I looked at Kim.

"You covered them up."

"I did?"

"Yeah, because I can't find them."

I sat on a rock, and groaned. "Is it washable?"

"No, Captain."

"Get some scrapers, we're going to scrape this damn paint off."

*Three hours later*

I sat in the ready room, staring at the window.

Chakotay came in. "We found the beacons!"

"Yeay!"

"But we can't leave."

"Why?"

"We're stuck."

"Why?"

"Because, the paint dripped and stuck to the ground and we cant get up without breaking apart the hull."

"Damn." I sighed. "Did you scrape the paint off?"

"Part of it."

I stood up and got some barrels of water. "We might as well make the paint wet and then scrape it off."

The Intendant came in. "What's with the water?"

"I'm going to get the paint off."

"Oh, okay."

I went outside and dumped the water on Voyager, and the paint came off, but the ship short-circuited and died.

"Bloody hell!" I yelled. "Why me?!"

The Intendant looked at the ship. "Wow, sleepover!"

=/\=

I lay in a sleeping bag, looking at Chakotay beside me. "What was it that you said about my bad luck?"

"You have bad luck."

"Why?"

"Because you're so…um…" He got out of his bag and got on top of me. "Unyielding." He kissed me hard, and licked my mouth.

"Chakotay!"

He looked at me. "Come on…"

I glared, and he just fell asleep there, on me. I looked at where the Intendant was, and she was having sex. Great. I sighed and ran my fingers in his hair.

"Stand up."

Picard was over me, pointing his gun at me. "Get up, you slut. Hey, that rhymes!"

"Flan!" Kim yelled. Picard dropped his gun and ran off, finding it.

Crusher, however, snatched it away. "NO flan for you, mister."

"Why, Beverly?" He asked.

"You're a fat assed captain."

I laughed hard and long, and wiped a tear from my eye, high fiving Crusher.

"Great line!" I yelled.

"Hell yeah!"

Picard was pouting on the ground. "Wahhh, I want some flan!"

Then something hit Picard, and he slumped on the ground.

"Five million points for hitting the bald guy!" Kim yelled. "I win!"

Then I looked at Voyager, and it was all wet with paint. My eye twitched with anger.

"ALL HANDS! KILL PARIS AND KIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then someone pulled my pants down. I turned and tripped.

"Wow, wear a belt next time." The Intendant looked down upon me, and I grabbed her leg and pulled it.

"You're an asshole." I got up and pulled my pants up.

Chakotay came over. "Um, Kathryn…"

I turned, and tripped, again, pulling his pants down.

"Hey, you're not wearing undies!" I yelled.

He pulled his pants up quickly. "Okay, okay, I admit it, I DON'T HAVE UNDIES!"

I laughed. "Okay, Chakotay, what were you going to say?"

"The warp drive is down. That's the only thing we can't fix."

I groaned. "Shit, shit, shit…"

Chakotay looked at Voyager. "How about-"

I sighed. "Go ahead, do what you want…" I sat down and watched the repairs.

=/\==/\==/\=

"Yep, I had sex with Paris…" I laughed, drunk. "Lovely thing it was…"

The Intendant laughed and slammed her glass down. "Paris, another shot!"

Seven glared and gave her a shot. "I'm not Paris, for the 1000th time."

"Who cares!?" Troi yelled. We all laughed.

Voyager was now flying in space, tye-dyed again by us, drunk with whisky.

"Hey, Janeway, wanna sleep with me?" Riker swaggered towards me.

"Na, I have-" I took a swig. "Commander Tattoo Boy with me…Hey, Tatt Boy, come over here!"

Chakotay glared, and missed the corner, eyes unfocused. "Shut up, Janeway."

"Okay, honey buns." I stood up and walked to the holocouch and lay down. "See you in the morning…"

Chakotay slammed his stick down and grabbed me. "Didn't I tell you to shut up, Janeway?"

I grinned. "Okay, Chakotay. Hey, that rhymes!"

He was going to punch me, but he fell down, out cold. Everything turned black.

=/\==/\==/\=

"What's with the hangover?" I groaned, vomiting again and flushing the fucked-up toilet.

"Yeah-" Chakotay vomited up in the sink.

I stood up, wiping my mouth. "Lets go get Picard…"

"Wasn't Picard out because Kim hit him in the groin?"

Then I remembered…"Didn't I say kill Kim and Paris?"

"Yeah, why?"

I covered my mouth. "Oh my fucking god, we left them on that planet!"