Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Crazy

Chapter 14

Will the real Janeway please stand up?

Chakotay tapped my shoulder, and I turned and looked into his eyes. "Yes, honey?"

"Um…the Doctor wants to see you…"

"Why?"

He looked at his padd. "Um, because you missed his checkup for the hundredth time."

I sighed and walked to sickbay.

"Oh there you are!"

I sighed as he started prodding me. "Hurry up, please…"

He handed me a cup. "Please drink."

I looked inside. "What is it?"

"Coffee."

I sniffed it. "Is it black?" I looked up as the doctor spun around. "What's behind you?"

"Nothing, nothing at all."

"It better not be sugar." I drank it. "There, now what?"

"Janeway to Tuvok-er-Tuvok to Janeway."

"Yes?"

"We're ready to beam aboard."

"Okay." I got off. "See you Doc!" I walked to the room and stood on the pad. "Energize."

I was beamed off to the planet.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

"Yeah, what?" I looked at the tricorder.

"Wait-did you beam off?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're still on the pad!"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I sighed. "Beam me up."

I was beamed up, and I went to Chakotay. "What?"

"Tuvok to Janeway."

"Yeah?"

"Weren't you just beamed up?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're still here! With another one."

I pounded my head on the panel. "Clones-I hate clones!" Then I looked up. "The Doctor. Wait till I mess his matrix up…"

Chakotay looked at me. "Yeah, plus now there more clones."

I looked up. "I'm the real Janeway, right?"

"No I am!" They yelled.

I got a marker and marked my sleeves up. "Okay, now you know who the real Janeway-"

"Hi!" Paris yelled. "Who wants to date me?"

"Me, me!" They yelled.

"No-they're mine!" The mirror Paris yelled.

"No, they're mine!" Kim yelled.

"No, they're mine!" the mirror Kim yelled.

Chakotay looked at me, then led me away. "It's okay, Janeway."

I looked around, then sighed. "Yeay-"

My pants were pulled down. "-It's over."

Chakotay then pulled on my bra strap. "Cool."

I got out a two by four and slapped him on the head. "Pervert." I pulled my pants up.

I heard footsteps, and saw all of the Janeway clones run from the men. I pulled Chakotay. "Come on-"

"Can I pull on your bra strap?"

"You can pull it all you want-but run!"

I saw the Intendant and the mirror Chakotay kissing in the Jeffries tubes, and grabbed them. "Come on!"

"Why?" The Intendant asked.

"Because there're Janeway clones!"

The mirror Chakotay grabbed her and we ran to the shuttle bay, and sat down.

"Thank god…" I muttered.

"Amen!" The Intendant said. "So, how did it happen?"

"Doctor."

"I feel sorry for you."

"Shut up." I sat on Chakotay's lap.

She smiled, and kissed the mirror Chakotay again. I just hugged my Chakotay close.

"Go away!" I heard, and looked up. The Janeways were here, blocking out the men.

I groaned. "I wanna get rid of these people…"

Chakotay nuzzled my neck. "Okay, what ever you say."

The Doctor rushed in. "Kathryn, I put the wrong thing in your coffee!" He looked at all of us. "Which one is the real Janeway? Will the real Janeway please stand up?"

Which confused us more.

"I am!" I yelled.

The Doctor came over. "Well, I was supposed to give you a vaccine, but I gave you cloning solution."

"Then get rid of them!" I yelled.

"Okay." He snapped, and they all left. The Doctor gave me the vaccine, then left. "See you Kathy."

I grabbed him. "Q!"

The doctor disappeared and Q smiled. "How did you find out?"

"Kathy."

"I see. Well, what's up?"

I punched him in the groin, then kicked his ass out of there. "And GOOD RIDDANCE!"

There was a note on my sleeve.

You've been poisoned. Please sleep with me, and I'll cure you. Q.

I sighed. "Kathryn!"

She appeared with a flash. "Not again…" She snapped. "There, you're cured."

"Thanks."

"No problem. And dad?"

"Yeah?" Chakotay asked.

"Don't pull on her bra strap. Q hates it when men do that-he wants to do it himself."

"Pervert," We both said as she left.