Lost, Confused, Unkind (Sequel To "Freaked")
Chapter 50
Jeff stayed in the room with me as they put a drip into my arm & gave me an injection to try & stop the labour. If the baby was born now there wouldn't be much hope of it surviving! I was attatched to monitors to make sure the baby's heart was still beating and it was, but the nurse explained to me that he was a little stressed & his heart rate was too high! I was terrified! Eventually the pain started to subside & they gave me another injection to try & calm me down. I felt sleepy & light headed & I wasn't really sure of where I was or what was going on around me. I heard a nurse talking to Jeff & he was explaining to her about Matt, telling her about the accident & I just closed my eyes & drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up it was dark & I had no idea how long I'd slept. Jeff was asleep in the chair with various empty plastic cups on the ledge beside him. He'd obviously given up on the coffee & just gone to sleep! It was nice that he'd stayed but it should have been Matt asleep in that chair, waiting for news of his baby! I closed my eyes & turned my face away from Jeff. He'd been gone for 7 months now and yet the pain was still there in my chest every time I thought about him. How are you ever supposed to get over losing the love of your life? Gilbert never had that was for sure! Maybe I was just destined to raise my child alone like he had with Matt & Jeff?
I was shaken from my thoughts when a nurse came in to check my chart & drip.
"How do you feel now?" she asked.
"Oh groggy I guess. Can I get up?" I whispered.
"No not yet! We managed to stop the labour but you won't be going home until after the baby is born!"
"What? I can't stay here all those weeks! I need to get back home! To England!"
"Oh no! That's just not possible I'm afraid!"
"Can't I just take a flight? Check into a hospital as soon as I get there?"
"Not unless you want this baby to be born with wings!" she smiled.
I sighed & laid my head back onto the pillow, "Ok!" I turned and looked at Jeff who was still sound asleep in the chair. The nurse looked at him when she saw me turn his way & she smiled again.
"We all thought he was the father, y'know the way he looked after you when you came in! You're lucky he's taking such an interest!"
"Yeah, I guess."
"How long were you with the baby's father then?" She sat down on the side of the bed & I admired her for not skating around the subject, but then again I guessed it was her job! She must have had to deal with a lot of people who had lost a partner or a family member!
"Oh all in all about 8 or 9 months! Not long enough really!" I forced a smile & she nodded.
"So was it planned then? The baby?"
"Well we'd talked about it a little but no it wasn't really planned! We were gonna get married! He asked me the day we had the accident!" I found it so easy to talk to this total stranger & realized it was probably the most I'd talked about Matt since he died!
"He seemed like a nice guy!"
"You knew Matt?"
"Oh no! My son watches the wrestling and well him & sleeping beauty over there are kind of local heroes!" she smiled, "He cried, my son, when they said on TV that Matt had died!"
"How old is he?"
"He's 10, going on 30!" she laughed,
"Well wake up my knight in shining armor there before he drowns in his own drool & get him an autograph!" I winced as I tried to sit up & she helped me & put a pillow behind my back.
"Naaaah let him sleep! He'll be back if he doesn't wake up before my shift is over!" She smiled, "I know how it feels!" She sighed as she sat back on the bed & I looked at her, puzzled as to what she meant! "Josh, my son, well his Dad was killed when he was just a few months old!"
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that!"
She nodded & smiled, "industrial accident!" She paused & then smiled again, "I bet right now you feel like you'll never get over it right?"
"Yeah something like that!"
"Well you'd be right! You don't ever get over it, but you do move on!"
"Did you?"
She held up her ring finger & wiggled a wedding ring in my face, "Been married six years now!" She paused, "To his best friend would you believe? We have another 2 kids aswell!"
"How the hell do you do that?" I looked up at the celing.
"You just do I guess! It'll get easier! Oh listen to me! I used to want to punch anyone who said that stuff to me!" She patted my leg & then looked over at Jeff out of the corner of her eye. "You'll get there believe me! And if people offer you a helping hand along the way, accept it!" She glanced at Jeff again. "Oh well I guess I'd better get back to work before all the buzzers start going off!" She stood up, "And tell him to come & get those ribs strapped when he wakes up!"
"I will, and thankyou!"
"Anytime! I'll see you again before I'm off! Try to get some rest! If you need anything just press the buzzer!"
"Ok thankyou, very much!"
"That's ok!" She smiled and then left.
Jeff stirred when he heard the door closing. He rubbed his eyes & tried to stretch his arms & then winced & put a hand to his ribs! When he finally looked my way I smiled.
"You're awake!" He smiled & came over to the bed & kissed my cheek. "Who just left?"
"My guardian Angel!" I smiled.
"Huh?"
"Oh nothing! Just one of the nurses!"
"Everything's ok though isn't it?"
"Yeah, well as ok as it can be!" I sighed, "But I have to stay here until the baby's born! Someone up there doesn't want me to go home!"
"Yeah well I've a feeling I know who that is!" Jeff smiled.
"You reckon?" I smiled.
"Yeah, actually I do!" he took hold of my hand. "I called your Mom earlier, and she said she's coming over!" I rolled my eyes. "I hope that's ok with you? I just thought she should know, you ah….didn't look good before!"
"Oh yeah I guess you're right! She should know! Besides I'm gonna need someone to keep me company when you go back to work!"
"Maybe I won't go back!"
"Um yeah, you will! You already had god knows how much time off!"
"Yeah well they'll just have to like it or lump it! I'll talk to Shane, he'll understand!"
"You have a week off, just go back after that! Besides if Mum's coming over she'll be here day & night! I want you to go back to work Jeff!"
"Yeah but…"
"No buts! You've done enough for me already! Someone will call you if anything happens!" he looked disheartened but eventually he agreed! I sent him off to see the nurse to get his ribs strapped while I went back to sleep.
Chapter 50
Jeff stayed in the room with me as they put a drip into my arm & gave me an injection to try & stop the labour. If the baby was born now there wouldn't be much hope of it surviving! I was attatched to monitors to make sure the baby's heart was still beating and it was, but the nurse explained to me that he was a little stressed & his heart rate was too high! I was terrified! Eventually the pain started to subside & they gave me another injection to try & calm me down. I felt sleepy & light headed & I wasn't really sure of where I was or what was going on around me. I heard a nurse talking to Jeff & he was explaining to her about Matt, telling her about the accident & I just closed my eyes & drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up it was dark & I had no idea how long I'd slept. Jeff was asleep in the chair with various empty plastic cups on the ledge beside him. He'd obviously given up on the coffee & just gone to sleep! It was nice that he'd stayed but it should have been Matt asleep in that chair, waiting for news of his baby! I closed my eyes & turned my face away from Jeff. He'd been gone for 7 months now and yet the pain was still there in my chest every time I thought about him. How are you ever supposed to get over losing the love of your life? Gilbert never had that was for sure! Maybe I was just destined to raise my child alone like he had with Matt & Jeff?
I was shaken from my thoughts when a nurse came in to check my chart & drip.
"How do you feel now?" she asked.
"Oh groggy I guess. Can I get up?" I whispered.
"No not yet! We managed to stop the labour but you won't be going home until after the baby is born!"
"What? I can't stay here all those weeks! I need to get back home! To England!"
"Oh no! That's just not possible I'm afraid!"
"Can't I just take a flight? Check into a hospital as soon as I get there?"
"Not unless you want this baby to be born with wings!" she smiled.
I sighed & laid my head back onto the pillow, "Ok!" I turned and looked at Jeff who was still sound asleep in the chair. The nurse looked at him when she saw me turn his way & she smiled again.
"We all thought he was the father, y'know the way he looked after you when you came in! You're lucky he's taking such an interest!"
"Yeah, I guess."
"How long were you with the baby's father then?" She sat down on the side of the bed & I admired her for not skating around the subject, but then again I guessed it was her job! She must have had to deal with a lot of people who had lost a partner or a family member!
"Oh all in all about 8 or 9 months! Not long enough really!" I forced a smile & she nodded.
"So was it planned then? The baby?"
"Well we'd talked about it a little but no it wasn't really planned! We were gonna get married! He asked me the day we had the accident!" I found it so easy to talk to this total stranger & realized it was probably the most I'd talked about Matt since he died!
"He seemed like a nice guy!"
"You knew Matt?"
"Oh no! My son watches the wrestling and well him & sleeping beauty over there are kind of local heroes!" she smiled, "He cried, my son, when they said on TV that Matt had died!"
"How old is he?"
"He's 10, going on 30!" she laughed,
"Well wake up my knight in shining armor there before he drowns in his own drool & get him an autograph!" I winced as I tried to sit up & she helped me & put a pillow behind my back.
"Naaaah let him sleep! He'll be back if he doesn't wake up before my shift is over!" She smiled, "I know how it feels!" She sighed as she sat back on the bed & I looked at her, puzzled as to what she meant! "Josh, my son, well his Dad was killed when he was just a few months old!"
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that!"
She nodded & smiled, "industrial accident!" She paused & then smiled again, "I bet right now you feel like you'll never get over it right?"
"Yeah something like that!"
"Well you'd be right! You don't ever get over it, but you do move on!"
"Did you?"
She held up her ring finger & wiggled a wedding ring in my face, "Been married six years now!" She paused, "To his best friend would you believe? We have another 2 kids aswell!"
"How the hell do you do that?" I looked up at the celing.
"You just do I guess! It'll get easier! Oh listen to me! I used to want to punch anyone who said that stuff to me!" She patted my leg & then looked over at Jeff out of the corner of her eye. "You'll get there believe me! And if people offer you a helping hand along the way, accept it!" She glanced at Jeff again. "Oh well I guess I'd better get back to work before all the buzzers start going off!" She stood up, "And tell him to come & get those ribs strapped when he wakes up!"
"I will, and thankyou!"
"Anytime! I'll see you again before I'm off! Try to get some rest! If you need anything just press the buzzer!"
"Ok thankyou, very much!"
"That's ok!" She smiled and then left.
Jeff stirred when he heard the door closing. He rubbed his eyes & tried to stretch his arms & then winced & put a hand to his ribs! When he finally looked my way I smiled.
"You're awake!" He smiled & came over to the bed & kissed my cheek. "Who just left?"
"My guardian Angel!" I smiled.
"Huh?"
"Oh nothing! Just one of the nurses!"
"Everything's ok though isn't it?"
"Yeah, well as ok as it can be!" I sighed, "But I have to stay here until the baby's born! Someone up there doesn't want me to go home!"
"Yeah well I've a feeling I know who that is!" Jeff smiled.
"You reckon?" I smiled.
"Yeah, actually I do!" he took hold of my hand. "I called your Mom earlier, and she said she's coming over!" I rolled my eyes. "I hope that's ok with you? I just thought she should know, you ah….didn't look good before!"
"Oh yeah I guess you're right! She should know! Besides I'm gonna need someone to keep me company when you go back to work!"
"Maybe I won't go back!"
"Um yeah, you will! You already had god knows how much time off!"
"Yeah well they'll just have to like it or lump it! I'll talk to Shane, he'll understand!"
"You have a week off, just go back after that! Besides if Mum's coming over she'll be here day & night! I want you to go back to work Jeff!"
"Yeah but…"
"No buts! You've done enough for me already! Someone will call you if anything happens!" he looked disheartened but eventually he agreed! I sent him off to see the nurse to get his ribs strapped while I went back to sleep.