Remus entered the common room to see it nearly deserted. In the far corner of the room he could see Cad sprawled out with a book. He took a deep breath and approached her. "Um, Cad?" She looked up, shocked to see him. "I think we need to talk."
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Disclaimer- You know what's not mine
"Remus, I don't-" Cad started before Remus cut her off. "Please Cad. Just hear me out." Remus said in his traditional soft voice. Cad nodded. "I totally understand why we broke up. You couldn't love me. That's okay. I just want you to know that I loved you. I wish I could make you love me. Make you see that I'm still the same person. But I could never do that. I can't change you. I don't want to." Remus said everything he'd been saying to himself ever since they had broken up. Maybe finally saying it to her was the closure he needed. He just wanted her to move on and be happy; he had long since given up on his own happiness.
"Remus, I don't know what you want from me." Cad answered on the verge of tears. "But you're right. I didn't know you. And maybe you are the same person. I just don't know. I don't know anything anymore." A tear fell down her cheek. "I've got to go, Rem." She stood up and hurried to the girls dormitory. The full impact of her words came crashing down on Remus. "She had to go." Remus whispered to himself. He didn't know what he was expecting, but he wasn't surprised to see her run again. She would always have to go. He knew they could never have what they had; you can't cross bridges that you've burned.
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"That was pretty traumatic, what happened at the match." Taylor said as she and Sirius walked around the castle. "Yeah. I know. I can't believe Reese attacked Lily." Sirius answered. Taylor stopped and turned to face Sirius. "She didn't. Lily attacked Reese." Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. Lily had been acting really strangely lately. The normally passive Lily that they all loved was no where to be seen. "What do you mean?" "I mean Lily got pissed off and slapped her." Sirius knew Taylor wouldn't joke about something so serious. "Well, what happened?" Taylor took a deep breath before starting her story.
"Well, me and Lily were watching the match. But we couldn't help but notice that Reese was sitting a little too close to some seventh year. I didn't pay much attention to it, but it really bugged Lily. She kept saying things like "how could she do that to James?" and stuff like that." Taylor paused to catch her breath. "So, right before the fight Reese actually started kissing that guy. Oh, Lily was pissed. She got up, and before I could stop her, marched right over to Reese and slapped her! I was so shocked. Well, then Reese flipped out and they started fighting."
It took Sirius a moment to take in the full impact of what Taylor had just said. "Reese is cheating on James?" Taylor nodded her head solemnly. "Oh that's just great." Sirius said sarcastically. "Do you mind heading back to the common room on your own? I've got to go talk to James." "Yeah it's okay." Taylor turned to head toward the common room, but Sirius put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm so glad you're my girlfriend." He whispered before leaning in to kiss her. When they pulled apart Taylor was smiling. "Just imagine how great it is for me."
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Lily lay in her bed in the infirmary, tossing and turning. She had too much on her mind to sleep. How could James risk himself for her? Quidditch was always so important to him. How could he pick her over beating Slytherin? Lily didn't want to know the answer. She knew it would only prove what she had known for a long time true. James Potter had changed. She used to hate him. But why? Well, that was easy. He had always been so arrogant and shallow. Thought he was too good, and could have anything he wanted. But now- now he was different. He seemed deeper. Like something was actually on his mind besides girls and Quidditch. He was sweet and funny. And he had actually picked Lily over winning. He had grown up.
Lily's mind thought over the night they spent together on the east tower. "I can't have you." Maybe he was wrong. "Maybe he can have me." Lily whispered to herself. No that's crazy. She pushed the thought out of her mind. This was James Potter. She couldn't love James Potter. She loved Max. Right? I mean why wouldn't she love Max? He was great. He was kind and funny, and always knew just what to say to make her smile. "But he's not James." "Well, I certainly hope not. I really like being me." Lily jumped. "Remus?" She whispered. She felt weight being added to the bed.
"What, are you the only person allowed to hop into bed with someone?" Remus laid his head on Lily's pillow. "No." Lily smiled and laid back down. "Are you okay? Did Reese hurt you?" Remus' soothing voice calmed Lily down. "Yeah. I guess. I mean, thanks to James." Remus picked up the resentment in Lily's tone. "And that's good....Right?" "Why'd he have to go and be so great?" Lily was on the brink of tears. Remus was shocked by her confession. "Lily, James has always been great." "No, he wasn't. He was-" Remus never found out what James was, because at that moment Sirius burst into the room.
"James! James! Wake up!" James sat up quickly. "What's wrong?" Lily and Remus stayed still, watching the scene before them. Sirius was pacing around James, obviously enraged. "Sirius, what's wrong?" James repeated his question. "Reese, Reese is wrong. Everything's wrong." James sighed. "Care to be a little more specific?" "Do you know what happened this afternoon?" "Reese attacked Lily in the stands. Probably because of the whole R.A.W. thing." James answered, getting annoyed. "Not quite." Sirius said, again choosing to be vague.
"What happened?" James asked, finally sounding interested. "Lily, sweet, innocent, Lily, went after Reese." Remus' jaw dropped. He looked over at Lily who appeared as if she was going to be sick. "What? Why?" James was as astounded as Remus. "Taylor and Lily caught Reese snogging with some guy." Sirius' voice was apologetic, he hated being the one to tell James. James ran his hands through his hair. "Ugg. As if this wasn't complicated enough." Sirius finally sat down but was still having difficulty sitting still.
"But Lily? Why did Lily go after her?" James continued. Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Taylor said she just sort of snapped." James couldn't believe what he was hearing. Why would Lily care? "Oh, what am I going to, Padfoot?" "I don't know. She already thinks your," Sirius chose his words carefully, "lack of physical contact is weird enough, won't she get suspicious if you ignore the fact that she cheated on you?" "I guess so, but I can't break up with her." Lily couldn't believe what she was hearing. Why couldn't he break up with her? He had already told Lily he didn't love her, what reasons did he have to stay with her? "Reese is going to go after werewolves, if it's possible, even more now that she has opposition." James continued. Lily felt Remus shift uncomfortably next to her. What did R.A.W. have to do with anything?
"And what about Cad? She could go to Reese at any moment!" Sirius said as he resumed pacing. Remus wanted to jump up, to keep them from saying anything else. But what would Lily think? She would grow even more suspicious. No, he had to take his chances, hope that his friends would leave him out of it. "We need to protect Remus, but it's becoming almost impossible." James said. Remus looked at Lily. She looked confused, scared even. "But what about Lily?" Sirius asked. Lily couldn't believe that they had once again brought her into the conversation. "She must know. Have some sort of idea at least. Her and Remus have gotten pretty close. And that night, she was terrified. She's smart, she must have connected the dots by now."
Lily looked at Remus pleading. What didn't she know? Something was terribly wrong, but why couldn't she see it? Remus kept his face blank, determined not to give her the answers she searched for. "I don't know. She hasn't done anything to let us know she knows. But then how does she know that we know? There's only one way to be sure, and we can't afford that. It's Remus' choice, and I don't know how eager he'll be considering what happened when Cad found out." James seemed unsure of his own words. Was it possible that Lily already knew?
Lily grasped on to Remus. What was so terrible that he couldn't tell her? Remus knew that soon Lily would figure it out, and he silently begged his friends to shut up. "But Lily's different from Cad. She's determined to fight Reese, I'd imagine she's one of the few people he could trust." Slowly the wheels in Lily's head started turning. It was so obvious. Her grip on Remus tightened. It couldn't be true. This was Remus, one of her best friends. He would have told her. Why didn't he trust her? And Cad, why was she so shaken up? Was that why they broke up? "No, stop thinking like that. Everything's okay. Nothing is wrong with Remus, I'm just jumping to conclusions." Lily forced herself to deny what was slowly coming to realization.
"I guess you're right." James said, answering Sirius. "But it's still not up to us." Sirius sat back down. "What do we do? Remus is already upset that we're trying to protect him." Sirius voice had changed. No longer did it reek of anger and hated. He was calm, saddened by whatever was effecting Remus. "You know it's not fair. It shouldn't have happened. Not to him." Sirius continued in a soft voice. "Yeah, I know. Watching him every month, it hurts. He's so strong, yet so weak." James too had calmed down. "What was that?" Sirius jumped up. Lily had sat up quickly. She understood what they meant. It was true. Remus was a werewolf. Sirius walked over to were Lily was. "Lily?" Remus sat up and Lily allowed him to embrace her in a hug. "Lily I'm so sorry." He whispered into her ear. "Remus?" Sirius' voice was once again panicked. All at once he room lit up to reveal Lily and Remus.
Lily was crying on Remus' shoulder. "Lily? Remus?" James' voice was shaking. "Lil, Lil? It's okay." Remus continued whispering to Lily. She was clinging to him for dear life. "Lily, I know this is, um, shocking, to say the least, but," Remus was stumbling with his words and he too had tears running down his cheeks. "You know, I mean, I'm still me, right?" He could feel Lily shaking, he wasn't sure what to expect her to say. All he could hope for was that her reaction would be better than Cad's.
"They'll never take you. Never." She whispered almost inaudibly. A new wave of tears plagued Remus. How could he tell her that that was a possibility? It was something none of them had accepted, but definitely a possibility. Remus was speechless. Sirius and James were standing beside them awkwardly. Neither could believe what had just happened. In one moment of carelessness they could have caused even more grief for Remus.
"Rem? Lil? Are you guys alright?" Sirius asked lamely. Neither answered. After several minutes of silence Lily and Remus finally pulled apart. Lily was no longer crying, she was still trembling. Several tears still fell down Remus cheeks, but he too stopped. "Lily I'm so sorry." He said softly. "Rem, you have nothing to be sorry for." Lily fell back down onto her pillow. "We can't let them take you. We just can't." She stuttered. James stepped forward. "Lil, we're not going to let that happen." Lily grew angry at hearing James' words. She sat up quickly, obviously enraged.
"And you! How could you be with that- that thing, with everything she's doing!" James sat down. He took her hands in his and very solemnly said, "Lil, I'm with her because of everything she's doing." He could tell Lily didn't understand so he elaborated. "Look. If she finds out Remus is a werewolf," James stumbled over the bluntness of his words, "Who do you think she'd tell first? Her boyfriend. I'm trying to protect him, Lil. I've told you before that I don't love her, and I don't. I never could." Lily didn't answer. She let go of his hands and embraced him in a hug.
"And, Lil, there's more." Sirius quickly gave him a look. James turned to Sirius, "She knows this much. She might as well know it all." Sirius nodded and James once again turned his attention to Lily. "You see, Remus got bit when he was young, just a child. It was really only because of Dumbledore that he was even allowed to come to Hogwarts. Well, anyways, eventually, me, Sirius, and Peter figured out the truth behind all of Remus' excuses for where he went every month. We knew we had to help him. Turn the negative into a positive. So we became animagus. You see, he couldn't harm us when we were in animal form. We had to work really hard to accomplish it, and couldn't correctly transform until the beginning of last year. And ever since then we would go out with him during the full moon. Roam the grounds, have our own sort of adventures."
Lily was shocked. "So you can all turn into an animal?" She managed to spill out her question. They all nodded. Lily was even more shocked when James stepped back and easily transformed into a stag. He was marvelous. She timidly reached out her hand to touch the glimmering coat. James encouraged her by prodding her with his nose. He then turned back. "That's brilliant." She said, still smiling. She turned toward Sirius, "And what animal are you?" Sirius, never one to miss a chance to show off, quickly transformed. The great black dog jumped onto the bed, nearly knocking Remus off. He pounced on Lily and started licking her face. Lily giggled wildly. Sirius hopped off and changed back.
When Lily had stopped laughing the mood again turned serious. "But we haven't been able to go out this year." Sirius said as he stared at the ground. It wasn't really a statement, but a question. He wasn't commenting on a truth but really saying, "What are we going to do next?" And none of them knew. What do you do when every option is as grim as the next? They sat in silence for several minutes. Lily turned over every option in her head. She hated to admit it, but only one choice was reasonable. "You have to stay with Reese." Lily said breaking the silence. James faked a weak smile, "I know." His voice was strained. Slowly in the distance they heard footsteps approaching. They quickly tried to move but were too late.
"Never, in all my days! Patients out of bed at this hour! With visitors none the less! We'll have to call for Professor Dumbledore!" The four students groaned. As if the day couldn't have been anymore stressful, they were now likely to have a years worth of detentions. Remus, Sirius, and James were used to being in trouble, but Lily was quite nervous. She looked to each of her friends in turn, and somehow their supportive stares calmed her down. As soon as Madam Pomfrey had left the room. The boys started giving Lily hushed directions. "Just let us talk!" "We got this covered Lil!" "Don't worry babe, we'll take the blame." Lily smiled, not because they were so worried, but because James had called her babe. "Don't think like that." Lily told herself.
"Mr. Potter, Lupin, Black, what have you done to this poor girl?" The three boys laughed at the headmasters comment. "Madam Pomfrey says you were wreaking havoc on the infirmary." Lily looked around at the deserted room. "We were just talking, professor, honest." Even Remus couldn't stifle a laugh when he heard Sirius say "honest." "That may be true, but two of you are out of bed." The professors tone was mocking. He had a special connection with the boys, and really needed a reason to punish them. "Detention professor?" James said in a haughty, business like tone. The headmaster chuckled to himself silently. "No, I daresay you four have been through enough tonight." He shot a knowing glance to Remus and then to Lily. "Perhaps it would be best if all of you return to your dormitories." All four nodded and headed towards the door. Remus put his arm around Lily to help her walk, the effects of the medication had her a little off balance. Lily kept glancing at James, and couldn't help but notice when their eyes met. They both quickly looked away. Things should have been better now, but if possible they felt even further away from each other.
A/N- I hope you like it! It took me a while to write, so hopefully it's worth it. Please review! The more reviews I get, the more motivated I'll be, and the quicker I can update! {Did you follow that, cuz personally I'm a bit lost! lol.} Hugs and hamsters {don't ask} to all my reviewers! Coming up: Drama, Angst, and a new plan