A/N: does anybody know what happened to Voyager on UPN?

*bonks ex. Of UPN*

Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Crazy

Chapter 18

Captain Proton Chapter 100:

Return to Bride of Chaotica!

"Captain, don't fuss!"

I kicked out at Paris, who was pulling my skirt down. "Fuck!" He yelled as my kick broke his nose.

"Humph."

Paris slammed into the controls, and everything flashed through, stopping at Fair Haven.

In front of Michael Sullivan.

"Katie O'Claire? Why are you dressed up as a prostitute?"

I slapped him. "Bastard."

He grabbed a wine bottle and slammed it on the table. "I had enough of you!"

I gulped. "Food Fight!"

Everybody was throwing food now, and I escaped.

"End program!"

The program ended, but it ended up in the Borg program Seven devised.

"Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."

I screamed, and the program switched to Chakotay's boxing one.

"Hey, is that Chakotay's wife there?"

The program flickered into the gothic novel, and I sighed.

"End-"

"My dear that will not be good for you."

I turned. "And who are you? Q?"

He bowed deeply with a flourish. "General Trelane of Gothos."

I slapped him. "Idiot. Change it back!"

He took off his glove and slapped me. "You're not very nice." He then snapped, and I was out in space.

"You bastard!"

He sighed. "Captain, I don't really want you to do this to me…"

I grabbed him. "I hate you! Now-"

He snapped, and I was put in Q's "world".

"Kathy! Nice to see you…" He tried to embrace me but I hit him on the head with a mallet.

"Q! What the hell are you doing to me?" I yelled.

Q sighed. "Trelane!"

He appeared, and I punched his groin. "Ass."

Trelane grabbed me and kissed me. I pushed him away and slapped him.

"Ass hole!"

Trelane sighed. "Oh dear…"

He snapped. I ended up in the mess, with coffee in my hand.

"Cool…" I sipped it…

***

"So, so I fucked Chakotay…" I sipped the coffee. "This is good…"

The Doc just stared at me. "Shut up, Janeway."

I narrowed my eyes. "Whatever, mi amigo."

"Yeah…" The Intendant put her arm around my shoulder. "You should listen to her."

Chakotay stared at me. "Captain, what the hell did you take today?"

"Nothing, love…"