Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Crazy
Chapter Twenty
Fluff. Janeway's fluff.
"Goddamn, what did you do?"
"Look, you bitch-"
I slapped her. "You destroyed my warp drive! We're at the mercy of-"
"Hahahah! It is I, Picard!"
I groaned. "Picard, you sob, go away."
Then he shot at us.
"Picard!" I yelled. I was hiding behind my seat.
"Take this, Picard!" The Intendant shot Picard, and he crumpled down.
"Yeah!" I high fived her.
"Captain…"
We were thrown into the brig of the Enterprise.
I smacked my head on the wall. "Stupid…"
"Shut up, Janeway, so I can get us out." She had a hair pin.
"Hey, that's my hair pin!"
"Too bad."
She started picking the electronics. I groaned, and pushed her away. "You're doing it all wrong-this is the line-"
I blacked out.
***
I woke up, in a bed. Picard stood over me. I punched his lights out.
"Pervert." I got up and walked around his room. "Wow."
I put his stuff in my pockets, then walked out.
"Captain."
I turned. "Commander Riker. Good to see you again."
He was sweating, and his eyes flickered to my…um…ass. "Can…I…touch-"
There was a smack, and he fell. Troi was holding a bat.
"Don't you ever think that again!" She left.
"Um…yeah…" I bumped into the Intendant.
"Hey. What's up?"
"Nothing."
"What are you hiding?"
I took out everything in my pockets. "There, happy?"
She sighed. "That is worthless. Look at what I found!"
She dragged…Data.
"That's an android!"
"Yeah, so?"
"That's a Starfleet officer!"
"So what?"
"You asshole, that's not property!"
"So?"
I slapped her. "Asshole."
(Beltran: Stop doing that.
Mulgrew: But I like it.)
Chakotay came over. "Should we beam back?"
"Um…not yet." I placed the stuff in his hands. "Can you take this back?"
"Captain…"
"Maquis, loot this place."
He grinned. "Yes, Captain!"
And he kissed me, softly.
"Okay, Chakotay. Let's rock!"
***
"Man, I'm starved."
"Yeah. Dinner?"
"Sure."
Then I saw Picard, with two black eyes and limping. "Janeway…"
"Picard…" I sighed. "You're just too weak."
He shot Chakotay with a phaser. "Asshole…"
I tackled him to the bulkhead, and punched his groin.
"Bitch."
"Bastard."
"Hey, look at this!" The Intendant was carring the warp core. "I got a replacement for you."
"No!"
"Beam me up, Scotty!" I yelled.
"Wow, we're good to go!" I yelled, klinking drinks with Chakotay.
"Yeah! And we can sell this to Quark!" He held up a jewel.
"No!" I grabbed it. "We're keeping it."
"Um…Kathryn?"
"Yeah?"
"You look weird. Really pale."
"Really?" I got closer and took off my top. "Well, how about you make me better?"
"Sure…"