Chapter 8 - Lost in Space
"This is all a bad dream. Just a bad dream," Yami was muttering to himself. " Any second now I'll wake up and find myself being tempted with a chicken drumstick as Yugi tries to wake me up. Of course it's silly! There's no way he'd really leave me in space. Yugi will wake me up any moment now...."
Bakura kicked Yami.
"Ow! What did you do that for?"
Bakura glared at Yami.
"Fine. This isn't a dream. IT'S A TOTAL NIGHTMARE!"
"Shut up! It's bad enough that I'm stuck with you. And it's even worse when I have your screaming in my ear, especially since your voice is amplified through the spacesuits." Bakura started to take his helmet off.
"Hey, don't do that! You know there's no air here! You won't be able to breathe!" Yami was genuinely worried about Bakura.
"So what? I'm a spirit. Technically I can't-" Bakura's voice was cut off as he discarded his helmet. Without air, Yami was unable to hear his voice.
"Wait, Bakura! What are you doing?"
A dark fog began to shroud Bakura. When he was completely hidden from Yami's view, the cloud dissipated, and Bakura had disappeared.
"Bakura?" asked Yami timidly. He didn't like being alone. "Bakura? Where have you gone? Come on, this isn't funny!" A little voice popped up in his head. He's in the Shadow Realm, stupid. "Oh yeah," he said to himself. He took a while trying to figure out how to get into the Shadow Realm (not having gone there many times himself. He'd been dragged there plenty of times, though.), and then finally remembered what to do.
At last, some peace and quiet, Bakura thought to himself. Ah, this place is more beautiful every time I come here. He closed his eyes, and enjoyed the smothering darkness, and let himself be consumed by the swirling chaos around him.
"Bakura, I thought I'd lost you!" Yami's whining voice broke the wonderful silence that Bakura had been indulging in.
Oh Ra, whatever did I do to deserve this kind of torture? Bakura groaned. He had gone to the one place where he thought Yami could never reach him. "Yeah," he said flatly, "I thought I'd lost you too."
"Well then, since we've found each other again, let's go home!" Yami cheered.
"You know, I think that's the smartest thing I've heard you say during this whole trip," said Bakura. He turned, ready to re-enter his Ring. There was no way Ryou could prevent his return.
"Um, Bakura? It's not working."
After a few minutes of just standing there Bakura realized Yami was right. They had been locked out of their Millennium Items.
"I officially hate all locks now," growled Bakura. How could Ryou have done this to him? He wouldn't have minded his punishment half as much if he hadn't been stuck with Yami. He made up his mind to take his revenge on Ryou once he got back.
Yami sat down. "So now what are we going to do?"
"I don't know," replied Bakura. "But promise me one thing: don't make me mad."
"I'll try not to. But you're so easily irritated, it's going to be hard. I could always teach you how to manage your anger," offered Yami.
"No," was Bakura's instant reply.
They decided to stay in the Shadow Realm for now, figuring that it was better than drifting aimlessly about in space.
"Bakura?"
"What?"
"How will we know when three days are over if we're in here?"
"We won't. That's why we won't spend all our time in here."
"If we're really bored, can we duel?"
"If you want. But only if we're really bored. For the time being, let's have some fun!"
Yami wasn't too sure what Bakura meant by fun. For Yami, fun was eating, sleeping, playing with modern technology and trashing Yugi's room. He hoped Bakura's definition of fun didn't include attempting to kill ex-pharaohs.
Yami felt a most uncomfortable sensation, like when he ate too much food. Then, all of a sudden, the darkness disappeared, and Yami and Bakura were on a strange looking planet. The ground was red, the sky had a pink-ish tinge to it, and, well, there wasn't much else to say about it.
"Bakura, where are we?"
"I don't know yet. But if we look around I'm sure we'll find out."
Off they went, exploring this new planet. It wasn't long before they saw on the horizon a bright blue jewel, speckled with white.
"Hey Bakura, isn't that-" Yami started.
"Yep. Earth."
"Then we must be-"
"Yep. Mars."
"Stop finishing my-"
"Nup."
"Plea-"
"Nup."
"Can we at least go somewhere else where it's a bit more exciting?" Asked Yami.
"That I can do. We could trying looking for a planet with intelligent life forms, so I can hold an intellectual conversation with someone," said Bakura.
"I don't get why you hate me so much," said Yami, pouting.
"I can't help it. I just do."
They returned to the Shadow Realm again, and Bakura once more warped the time and space continuum. The darkness disappeared again, only to reveal that the two were now stuck in the middle of a violent storm.
"Bakura, I don't think this place is quite what we're looking for," shouted Yami, trying to make himself heard above the thunder storm. Huge, violent winds whipped about, and it was fortunate the Yamis were in their spirit form, otherwise they would have been long dead.
However, that didn't stop them Yami from getting struck by white lightning. The giant bolt came straight on his head, frying his whole body. His comatose body started to descend deeper into the tempest.
"Yami!" Bakura screamed, and fetched Yami's body. He returned to the Shadow Realm and lay Yami on the ground.
"Yami, wake up!" He shook him violently. Bits of frizzled hair fell to the floor.
"Yami, snap out of it!" He slapped Yami's face, but the 5000 year old pharaoh didn't respond.
"Yugi's taking us to KFC!" That just had to wake him up. But it didn't. Yami was quite unaware of anything at the moment.
"Yami, don't make me do this!" Bakura was getting worried. Yami had a weak pulse. He had only one chance of saving his life.
What am I thinking? Bakura thought to himself. Back in the old days, I was a notorious thief. The Pharaoh was trying to kill me, and now I'm saving his life! This is crazy! And I'm doing it in the most embarrassing way! Bakura prepared himself. He took a deep breath. He wasn't sure he could do this. His hands were sweating. Come on, Yami, wake up! Don't put me through this torment!
Sure, he'd kissed Ryou many times, but this was a completely different matter. Since when did tomb robbers even dare to touch a pharaoh?
He leant over Yami, put his fingers to Yami's mouth and opened it. It's only CPR, he thought. Breath into his mouth, them pump his chest. That's all.
He closed his eyes. I'll never forgive myself for this.
His mouth touched Yami's lips. But Yugi would kill me otherwise.
He prepared to blow. Hey, at least I'm saving a life here.
At that moment Yami's eyes flew open. For a split second he didn't know where he was, but then his senses and memory came flooding back. His vision cleared, and the first thing he saw was Bakura leaning over him. And from his perspective, it looked like he was about to kiss him.
So he screamed.
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! Get off me!"
Bakura opened his eyes and saw Yami's mouth wide open, emitting a most horrible scream.
And so he screamed.
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! Yami, you're supposed to be on the verge of death!"
Yami pushed Bakura off him. "What the hell do you think you were doing?!"
"I was trying to save your damn life!"
"Oh." Yami apologised. "Sorry for screaming at you like that. It's just that... well, anyone would be terrified, seeing someone about to kiss them"
"I wasn't trying to kiss you," said Bakura.
"Well that's what it looked like you were trying to do."
The two sat in silence for a while, both red in the face. It was an extremely uncomfortable silence.
"Are we still friends?" asked Yami timidly.
Were we ever? thought Bakura, but only replied, "Yeah."
"You want to try and go home now?"
"We'll try," replied Bakura.
And so once more Yami felt dizzy. The Shadow Realm's darkness lifted for the third time, and this time they were in the middle of a busy city. But it wasn't Earth. There were glass domes everywhere, some containing various greenery, others containing buildings.
Bakura and Yami stood there, looking at the view before them.
"Where are we?"
"Would have no idea."
Then the local residents spotted them. They were not small green men, as one would expect, but were more like a centaur. Four legs, two arms, a split tail and really, really big and floppy ears.
"You think they're friendly?" whispered Yami.
"Do you think I'd know?" was Bakura's reply.
The "centaurian" studied them for a while, before beckoning them to follow him. With not much else to do, they did as he requested. They were led to a city dome, and entered. Through the city they went, in a most maze-like way.
"This is certainly puzzling," commented Bakura.
Suddenly they were roughly pushed into a small building.
"Hey, what was that for?" Bakura demanded angrily, watching helplessly as he was somehow frozen, the door close. He heard a lock click.
"That doesn't sound too good," said Yami.
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Were the Yamis captured by the aliens? Or were they simply put there for their own protection? And how will Yugi and the others find them, now that they're halfway across the galaxy?