Chapter 10 - Off to kill the bad guys!
The next morning the two Yamis woke, refreshed and ready for anything. Their night hadn't been so bad, since for both of them this was their first quiet night in many weeks. Except that Bakura was just a little bit annoyed at Yami for dumping him back on the ground.
"Well, I guess we'd better save the Pyrarians now, otherwise we won't have time to get back home," said Yami cheerily.
"I'm with you there," said Bakura. "Anything to get me away from you."
Arnyoobis and a group of his friends gathered outside their room.
"I hope you've had a restful night," he greeted courteously.
"Yeah, thanks for asking," replied Bakura.
"Will you be ready to help us today?"
"Sure thing! We have to do this today!" shouted Yami excitedly.
"Let me warn you, our enemy is highly dangerous. We will do everything in our power to help you. Good luck." The Pyrarians saluted them.
"Let's go!"
Yami and Bakura, with the help of Arnyoobis and Haafjore, snuck into the alien headquarters.
"So where's the boss?"
"Around here. I am sorry, but I cannot go any further. It's up to you now."
Yami peered through the keyhole. He turned to Bakura. "You're the expert on these things. Tell me everything you know."
Bakura studied the room beyond the door.
"Well, from what I can see, first of all, this lock is way out of date. Reminds me of the ones we had back at home in the ancient times. Second, The leader is a midget. Though from here it looks like he's really athletic. Just look at his muscle bulk... could almost pass as a pyramid-lifter (the colloquial term used for tomb robber, similar to the present day word shoplifter.), I'd say. They shouldn't be too much of a problem. I guess these natives are just really weak."
"What about their technology?" asked Yami.
"Not much there. Well, not much that I can see. Maybe they've got those cool laser things. Wonder if they'll work on us." Bakura's eyes glittered, a thought suddenly popping into his head. That's a great idea....
"Will our powers be enough?" asked Yami.
"I'd say so," replied Bakura.
"Let's go!"
They both used their Mind Crush abilities and blast open the door. The aliens inside there were shocked. Only for a split second, though. Guards were running to their king's protection.
It turned out that the invaders did have high-tech weapons. And they hurt, as the Yamis found out.
"Take your best shot!" shouted Bakura, in spirit form, so that he couldn't get hit. But their lasers were exceptional. And gave Bakura a big jolt of electricity. "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea...."
Still, it wasn't much of a fight. Until the aliens brought in the big guns. Bakura let out a string of profanity as he saw the biggest ray gun ever. It was even bigger than the ones in movies!
"Yami, they're gonna zap us with that big giant THING!" he screamed.
"What do we do?"
"RUN!"
They ran as fast as they could, not wanting to get hit by the ray that would fry them like KFC.
"But Bakura, why are we running?" panted Yami.
"Why do you think?! That zapper's gonna toast us!"
"What about our own weapons?"
"WE DON'T HAVE ANY!"
"OH YES WE DO!" Yami stopped and ran the other way, back to where the giant ray gun was. He was starting to enjoy this little adventure; he hadn't killed anyone for a long time.
"Mind crush!" Yami's attack didn't affect the machine one bit. However, it did kill a couple of hundred midget aliens.
"Hey, why don't my powers work?" asked Yami, puzzled at why the machine was still operational.
"Because, stupid, it's a machine. An alien machine. Who knows what it's made of. And remember, our powers don't work as well on these kinds of objects... which is why I had so much trouble opening the lock back on our spaceship," added Bakura as an afterthought.
They decided to kill off all the mean old aliens first, since they were so weak compared to the two Yamis. And then since there were no evil guys left to shoot them, they handed all the weaponry to the Pyrarians.
"Thank you so much for saving our planet," said Arpofyus, with gratitude. "Whatever can we do to repay you?"
Bakura and Yami looked at each other. "Well, we'd like to go back to Earth now-"
"We will gladly point you in the right direction," answered Arpofyus.
"-But before that, you don't mind doing us a little favour?" asked Bakura, with a big grin on his face.
"CE-LE-BRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!" Bakura raised his mug of beer in the air, spilling half of it on himself. "This is damn good beer, mate!"
"I totally agree," said Yami cheerfully, slapping Bakura on the back. He grabbed a whole roast chicken and started munching on it.
"I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SMALL AND ROUND!" yelled Bakura, guzzling down more and more of the strong alcoholic beverage.
"FWAT DO SHYOU FINK OF ZTHISH SCHIKIN, EH KAIBA?" shouted Yami drunkenly to Bakura.
"ITSH'S LUVLY, MY DHARLING HRYOU," replied Bakura, brown liquid drooling from his mouth.
"Y'KNOW, I'VE NHEVER REELIZED ZTHAT I'VE BHAD FEELINSH FOR SHYOU," began Yami, trying to place his cup back on the table, only now there wasn't a table. All he saw was a giant television in front of him. Still, he slammed his cup down anyway. And ended up hitting his knee.
"HEY, WHAT'D SHYOU DO ZTHAT FYOR?" said Yami angrily at his foot.
"I LOVE YOU, BROTHER!" shouted Bakura all of a sudden, and tried to hug Yami.
"I GHATE SHYOU SHO MUSH!" shouted Yami, and tried to hug Bakura.
So they tried to hug each other, only they missed and fell face first on the floor. Then Yami, through his blurry vision, thought he saw a hot dog wriggling around next to him. And so he bit down.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!" screamed Bakura from the pain of Yami's bite. "THE PIZZA MONSTER'S AFTER ME!"
The Pyrarians looked on with interest. They hadn't seen drunkards like this before, not in a long time. Bakura and Yami were both on the floor, trying unsuccessfully to eat one another.
"Do you think it was wise to let them have all that alcohol?" asked Haafjore.
"DON'T LET MY BEAUTIFUL KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN GET AWAY!!!"
"Somehow, I don't think so," replied Arnyoobis.
"Will we live to regret this?" asked Hyooris nervously, for Bakura was licking his hoof.
"Have no idea," answered Haafjore, recoiling after Yami tried to nibble his leg.
"MY DSHEER MUMMY, WHILL SHYOU MIARRY MHE?" bellowed Yami, clutching at the bandages on his arm.
"YOU'RE ALREADY MARRIED TO ME, REMEMBER?" roared Bakura.
"RA, MA DHARLING USBAND, OW WOOD JOO LARK TO BEH ME WIFE?" hollered Yami, so loudly that the cups started to crack.
"I think we should take them back to their room," suggested Haafjore. "Before things get any worse."
And they were lucky they did. The two Yami's conditions grew worse, and it wasn't long before they were shouting obscenities and trying to slap everyone. Bakura's knife made yet another reappearance, until it was swiftly confiscated by the Pyrarians.
"I don't feel so good," moaned Bakura as he woke from a most disturbing sleep. "I feel as if I've been chewed up by the pizza monster and then spat back out."
"Has Ryou been telling stories about that monster to scare you?" mumbled Yami, rubbing his head, as sore as ever.
"It's totally real," he insisted. "I've seen him in real life. It was right after Ryou gave me this funny tasting mushroom to eat."
"Are you feeling better?"
Bakura and Yami looked up to see Arnyoobis looking down at them.
"Yeah, we're fine," Yami replied. "But if you don't mind, we'd like to go home now."
"Sure thing," he said. "But first we'd like to tell you something that might interest you.
"Long ago in ancient times, we started exploring different planets, not unlike you. About 5000 years ago, we stumbled upon the humble planet you call Earth. We had landed in a place rich in culture and scattered with pyramids. That place, was known as Egypt. Those humans were so very different from you, and it's most fascinating how much you've changed. Well anyway, we met their leader, someone known as a pharaoh."
Yami became much more attentive.
"He was a nice guy," Arnyoobis continued, "giving us comfortable accommodation and delicious food. We asked for the recipes, and so we gave you the same dish served to us. In return, we helped try and rid the pharaoh of a notorious criminal."
Yami eyed Bakura, who said nothing.
"Unfortunately, we weren't all that successful, but managed to slow the tomb robber down long enough to help improve the city's defenses."
Bakura glared at Yami, who only smiled smugly back.
"And so, to this day, we continue to honor our dear friend, by naming ourselves after their gods."
"So that's why your names sounded so familiar!" exclaimed Yami. "I remember you guys! Oh yes, your original names were-"
"-But now, we should let you go. After all, you have incredibly short lifespans. The pharaoh and his children and his children's children had all passed away before we left!"
"Well, thanks very much for being so kind to us," said Bakura, dragging Yami away. "Once we get back on our ship, I think we have a few things to discuss," he whispered to Yami.
And so they went back into the Shadow Realm, preparing to go back to the moon where the others would be waiting in a few short hours.
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We're almost to the end of the story! But who knows, maybe Bakura and Yami might somehow still manage to cause more trouble....