Lost, Confused, Unkind (Sequel To "Freaked")
Authors note! - I did this chapter & re did it & re did it again! It took me 4 attempts & a whole garbage can full of paper to finally come up with this version! I went from Jeff the Bastard, Jeff the sweetheart, even to Jeff the kidnapper….(yeah I know!!!) You name it I tried it & this is what I eventually came up with so bare with it I tried my best!
Chapter 63
Jeff sat on the edge of his bed & put his head in his hands, "What happened to us Bec? We used to be so close!"
"I don't know." I sighed, "I think maybe we just grew up!" I sat down beside him, "Life happened, only it was passing me by while you were out there living it! You don't like that I don't depend on you for everything anymore do you?" Jeff shook his head & I smiled, "Y'know most of my life I've depended on men! I depended on Mick for everything back in London! He was working, he put me through university, paid the rent, put food on the table & then I came here! I think that's what kinda flipped him out, he didn't have that control over me anymore!"
"What about Matt?"
I laughed, "My life was on hold every time he went away! I lived for the days he would come home, the stuff in between didn't matter anymore!" Jeff nodded his head.
"And you ran up his ass every time he clicked his fingers!"
I laughed, "Yeah I know I did! I'm kinda glad I did though now, I mean we didn't have that much time!"
"Yeah," he patted my leg, "I know!" he smiled, "I used to hate the way he treated you sometimes! I felt like shaking him! He never knew what he had with you!"
"Yeah he did!" I smiled, "I would've done anything for him & he knew that! He knew I loved him, God knows I told him often enough! He didn't treat me bad Jeff, if I had to do it again…."
"Yeah, yeah you'd still run up his ass!" he nudged me & smiled.
"Yep! I definitely would!" I laughed, "And then there was you!"
"Me?"
"Yeah! Even when Matt was alive I came to you with all my problems! Then when he died……..well I thought if you weren't there I would never get through it! I was right in a way, I would've cracked, but I realize now that I would have survived Jeff! With or without you!" I paused & looked at him, "But you always managed to do the right things or say the right words, "I smiled, "And you just did everything for me & I sat back & let you & that was wrong!"
"I did it because I wanted to!"
"Oh I know, and don't get me wrong I love you for it! Like I said, I would've been a mess without you I know I would, but that's because I didn't try to do it on my own! I would have lived, I would have been ok in the end!" He nodded, "That's why I did what I did with Adam! It was on my terms Jeff & I'd never had that feeling before…..it was…..oh I dunno I just felt alive! To wake up the next morning & just walk out of there, say goodbye & leave with no strings, no guilty feelings…………I didn't think I could do that!"
"And what about Adam? How did he take it?"
I lowered my head, "Like a man!" I said in a deep voice & we laughed & Jeff rolled his eyes. "He was a little disappointed I guess but he understood, there was no hard feelings between us! Hell he even took me for coffee before I came home!"
"What a gentleman!" Jeff smirked.
"Oh he was no gentleman believe me!" I winked.
"Too much information! Spare me the details!" Jeff put his hands to his ears & we laughed. "So I don't need to kick his ass when I go to work tomorrow then?"
"Nope! If I think he needs his ass kicking I'll do it myself!" we laughed & he took hold of my hand.
"So my little girl is all grown up then huh?" He smirked & I playfully punched his arm.
"I'm not saying that I don't need you anymore because I do & I always will, I just…..I need to live a little! There's this new thing I've found…."
"Oh yeah? If it came in a discreet brown package then I'm happy for you!"
"Jeff!" I laughed, "No actually apparently I'm the last woman on earth to find out about this strange thing called 'girl power! I read about it in a woman's magazine!" I winked & he smiled. "So from now on I'm gonna be a bitch so watch your back!" I pulled a face at him.
"Oh remind me to buy you some Jackie Collins for Christmas!" Jeff laughed, "But can I just be serious for a moment?"
"Sure Lance! What's your beef?" I laughed & he rolled his eyes.
"Well this new 'bitch' thing? Erm…..well if it involves you screwing the rest of the male WWE roster then can you PLEASE take a change of clothes with you so I don't know who you've used & abused…"
"JEFF!" My jaw dropped.
"…..the night before by looking at who's shirt you're wearing when you get home!" I pushed him back on the bed & hit him. "Oh and the day you wander in here with a green & black mask hanging out of your back pocket is the day you are out of here!"
"Don't even go there! You shit!" I laughed, "As if! Although I do kinda have this embarrassing obsession with blonde Canadians though!"
"Oh you do huh? Well I'd better give Betty a call & tell her to watch her back!"
"Oh no I was thinking more along the lines of……….Andrew!"
"You wouldn't!" I wiggled my eyebrows! "That's gross!"
"Why? What's wrong with Andrew?" I laughed.
"Nothing but I think Jay would suit you better!"
"Now that IS gross! He has absolutely no ass!"
Jeff laughed, "I can't say that I've ever noticed!"
"Well you will now!"
"Yeah I can just see his face if he turns around & catches me checking out his ass! There's enough rumors going around about me already!" he laughed & shook his head.
"Ok what about Sean?"
"Sean Morley? Man you need therapy!"
"Oh that thing he used to do with the towel! Mmmmm!"
"God save us! You mean women actually go for that whole 'Val Venis' gimmick?"
I bit on my lip, "Well no actually! It used to crack me up he looked so ridiculous!" I laughed.
"Hmm well there's always Trish!"
"In your fucking dreams you pervert!" I pinched his side.
"Too right it's in my dreams OW!" he rubbed when I'd pinched him! "Man if only I was Canadian!"
"And blonde you pratt!"
"Hey blonde I can do! You want blonde that can be arranged! It's the Canadian part I'll have the trouble with!"
"It's a wonder you have any hair the amount of shit you put on it!" I pulled his hair & he laughed. "Well I guess I should go to bed! You need to get some sleep too! Big day tomorrow!"
He sighed, "Yeah I guess! I'm glad that we're ok Bec!" he squeezed my hand.
"We'll always be ok, it was just a little hiccup!" I smiled. He put his arms around me & held me tightly for a few minutes. I closed my eyes & leaned my head on his shoulder, just enjoying being in his arms again. I kissed his cheek then smiled & stood up, he stood up with me. "Night then!" I walked away but he kept hold of my hand & pulled me back. We stood face to face & he put his hand on my cheek.
"I'm sorry, about what I said, I never meant to hurt you!" he whispered & kissed my forehead. We looked at each other for a second & he leaned in to kiss my lips but at the last moment I turned my head so his kiss landed on my cheek. He put his forehead there & sighed.
"You're not Canadian!" I whispered & smiled.
"Maybe I should emigrate!" he said & let out a laugh.
"Night Jeff!" I kissed his cheek then went to my own room.
Authors note! - I did this chapter & re did it & re did it again! It took me 4 attempts & a whole garbage can full of paper to finally come up with this version! I went from Jeff the Bastard, Jeff the sweetheart, even to Jeff the kidnapper….(yeah I know!!!) You name it I tried it & this is what I eventually came up with so bare with it I tried my best!
Chapter 63
Jeff sat on the edge of his bed & put his head in his hands, "What happened to us Bec? We used to be so close!"
"I don't know." I sighed, "I think maybe we just grew up!" I sat down beside him, "Life happened, only it was passing me by while you were out there living it! You don't like that I don't depend on you for everything anymore do you?" Jeff shook his head & I smiled, "Y'know most of my life I've depended on men! I depended on Mick for everything back in London! He was working, he put me through university, paid the rent, put food on the table & then I came here! I think that's what kinda flipped him out, he didn't have that control over me anymore!"
"What about Matt?"
I laughed, "My life was on hold every time he went away! I lived for the days he would come home, the stuff in between didn't matter anymore!" Jeff nodded his head.
"And you ran up his ass every time he clicked his fingers!"
I laughed, "Yeah I know I did! I'm kinda glad I did though now, I mean we didn't have that much time!"
"Yeah," he patted my leg, "I know!" he smiled, "I used to hate the way he treated you sometimes! I felt like shaking him! He never knew what he had with you!"
"Yeah he did!" I smiled, "I would've done anything for him & he knew that! He knew I loved him, God knows I told him often enough! He didn't treat me bad Jeff, if I had to do it again…."
"Yeah, yeah you'd still run up his ass!" he nudged me & smiled.
"Yep! I definitely would!" I laughed, "And then there was you!"
"Me?"
"Yeah! Even when Matt was alive I came to you with all my problems! Then when he died……..well I thought if you weren't there I would never get through it! I was right in a way, I would've cracked, but I realize now that I would have survived Jeff! With or without you!" I paused & looked at him, "But you always managed to do the right things or say the right words, "I smiled, "And you just did everything for me & I sat back & let you & that was wrong!"
"I did it because I wanted to!"
"Oh I know, and don't get me wrong I love you for it! Like I said, I would've been a mess without you I know I would, but that's because I didn't try to do it on my own! I would have lived, I would have been ok in the end!" He nodded, "That's why I did what I did with Adam! It was on my terms Jeff & I'd never had that feeling before…..it was…..oh I dunno I just felt alive! To wake up the next morning & just walk out of there, say goodbye & leave with no strings, no guilty feelings…………I didn't think I could do that!"
"And what about Adam? How did he take it?"
I lowered my head, "Like a man!" I said in a deep voice & we laughed & Jeff rolled his eyes. "He was a little disappointed I guess but he understood, there was no hard feelings between us! Hell he even took me for coffee before I came home!"
"What a gentleman!" Jeff smirked.
"Oh he was no gentleman believe me!" I winked.
"Too much information! Spare me the details!" Jeff put his hands to his ears & we laughed. "So I don't need to kick his ass when I go to work tomorrow then?"
"Nope! If I think he needs his ass kicking I'll do it myself!" we laughed & he took hold of my hand.
"So my little girl is all grown up then huh?" He smirked & I playfully punched his arm.
"I'm not saying that I don't need you anymore because I do & I always will, I just…..I need to live a little! There's this new thing I've found…."
"Oh yeah? If it came in a discreet brown package then I'm happy for you!"
"Jeff!" I laughed, "No actually apparently I'm the last woman on earth to find out about this strange thing called 'girl power! I read about it in a woman's magazine!" I winked & he smiled. "So from now on I'm gonna be a bitch so watch your back!" I pulled a face at him.
"Oh remind me to buy you some Jackie Collins for Christmas!" Jeff laughed, "But can I just be serious for a moment?"
"Sure Lance! What's your beef?" I laughed & he rolled his eyes.
"Well this new 'bitch' thing? Erm…..well if it involves you screwing the rest of the male WWE roster then can you PLEASE take a change of clothes with you so I don't know who you've used & abused…"
"JEFF!" My jaw dropped.
"…..the night before by looking at who's shirt you're wearing when you get home!" I pushed him back on the bed & hit him. "Oh and the day you wander in here with a green & black mask hanging out of your back pocket is the day you are out of here!"
"Don't even go there! You shit!" I laughed, "As if! Although I do kinda have this embarrassing obsession with blonde Canadians though!"
"Oh you do huh? Well I'd better give Betty a call & tell her to watch her back!"
"Oh no I was thinking more along the lines of……….Andrew!"
"You wouldn't!" I wiggled my eyebrows! "That's gross!"
"Why? What's wrong with Andrew?" I laughed.
"Nothing but I think Jay would suit you better!"
"Now that IS gross! He has absolutely no ass!"
Jeff laughed, "I can't say that I've ever noticed!"
"Well you will now!"
"Yeah I can just see his face if he turns around & catches me checking out his ass! There's enough rumors going around about me already!" he laughed & shook his head.
"Ok what about Sean?"
"Sean Morley? Man you need therapy!"
"Oh that thing he used to do with the towel! Mmmmm!"
"God save us! You mean women actually go for that whole 'Val Venis' gimmick?"
I bit on my lip, "Well no actually! It used to crack me up he looked so ridiculous!" I laughed.
"Hmm well there's always Trish!"
"In your fucking dreams you pervert!" I pinched his side.
"Too right it's in my dreams OW!" he rubbed when I'd pinched him! "Man if only I was Canadian!"
"And blonde you pratt!"
"Hey blonde I can do! You want blonde that can be arranged! It's the Canadian part I'll have the trouble with!"
"It's a wonder you have any hair the amount of shit you put on it!" I pulled his hair & he laughed. "Well I guess I should go to bed! You need to get some sleep too! Big day tomorrow!"
He sighed, "Yeah I guess! I'm glad that we're ok Bec!" he squeezed my hand.
"We'll always be ok, it was just a little hiccup!" I smiled. He put his arms around me & held me tightly for a few minutes. I closed my eyes & leaned my head on his shoulder, just enjoying being in his arms again. I kissed his cheek then smiled & stood up, he stood up with me. "Night then!" I walked away but he kept hold of my hand & pulled me back. We stood face to face & he put his hand on my cheek.
"I'm sorry, about what I said, I never meant to hurt you!" he whispered & kissed my forehead. We looked at each other for a second & he leaned in to kiss my lips but at the last moment I turned my head so his kiss landed on my cheek. He put his forehead there & sighed.
"You're not Canadian!" I whispered & smiled.
"Maybe I should emigrate!" he said & let out a laugh.
"Night Jeff!" I kissed his cheek then went to my own room.