It was him. It had always been him.

For the longest time, I had tried to forget that summer camp. I didn't like to think about it. Everything that happened there had been so awful that I tried to forget about it once I had gotten back. Mom and dad probably realized that too, because they didn't try to send me back the next year. I guess they didn't want me to have to go through that again.

Though it's not like everything after that was great, either.

After my parents finally decided to let me be a girl, I was so happy. I could finally be me! I could finally show people the real me, and have people see me for who I was!

If only it had been that simple.

The other kids were awful. It started simply enough, with them looking at me weird whenever I passed by, or moving away whenever I tried to talk to them, even if we used to be friends. And a lot of times, their parents didn't want me to talk to them either, so they would try to shoo me away whenever I came closer.

And then they started the name calling, and the mocking, and worse. I tried to ask the teachers for help, but they hardly ever helped. In fact, a lot of them even seemed to enjoy watching the other kids bully me.

My parents did what they could to help me, but even then they didn't always get me. Especially my dad. He really struggled with the idea that he didn't have a son, and it took him a while to really accept me as his daughter. My mom was better, but she still had times when she slipped up and referred to me as her son. Even so, they did the best they could to try to make me happy, even if they didn't always know how to help. And fortunately, most of the rest of my family was able to accept me for who I am.

Most of them, anyway.

I'll admit, Paul and I were never that close. He wasn't ever that nice either, so I didn't really expect much from him. But even then I didn't expect him to be so awful. Now he sees me as nothing more than a freak of nature; like I'm not even a human.

Sometimes I wonder how he could be Reggie's brother.

Really though, Reggie has been amazing. He was immediately supportive of me, and he was really quick to use my real pronouns and name. And every time I've had trouble, he's been there for me. Honestly, he's probably the one person who's helped me the most.

Well… almost.

I barely remembered Ash when we met again. Maybe I had some vague notion that we had met before, but nothing else. Even so, I was intrigued by him. He was in the big leagues, and I was just a rookie. And yet he offered me a place on his team.

I was amazed that he thought I was worth spending any time on. And I kind of wanted to learn more from him. Maybe I could become a great trainer like him?

Well, maybe not as dorky as him. But still, I want to be able to lead my team just as well as he leads his.

And yet, during all the time we were traveling together, there was always something nagging at me in the back of my mind. One thing that I was too scared to share with my new friends. One thing that I was too scared to share with Ash.

How could I? When I started living as a girl, the other kids immediately turned on me. And it hurt. And now that I had friends again, I was scared. Scared that they would leave me, just like my other friends had. And I didn't want to lose them too.

Especially Ash.

I don't know why it was him. Why was I so scared of losing him?

I kept asking myself that question over and over again all the time we were traveling together. Sometimes I thought that it was because we had similar goals; we both wanted to get all the badges we needed to take part in the Pokemon League. Though he wants to become a "Pokémon Master," whatever that means.

But that wasn't it. There was something else. Something I just couldn't put my finger on.

And then Paul showed up.

I was terrified when I saw him. He knew all about me. And he hated me. He could have outed me at any moment. Honestly, I'm still amazed that he didn't.

And yet, as bad as he was, meeting him was nothing compared to what happened next. Team Rocket attacked, and my leg got hurt. And Ash took it upon himself to treat me as best he could. But what he did shocked me to the core.

"Feel better, feel better, right away!"

It was just a silly, rather childish, little saying. And yet when he said it, I could barely think.

Because he had done it before.

All this time, it was him. The boy from the summer camp who had helped me when my leg got hurt. As much as I wanted to forget about everything that had happened that summer, somewhere deep down, I was never able to forget him.

And that was terrifying.

If I could remember, then so could he. And sooner or later he'd recognize me. And then…

No. I had to tell him.

I wanted to avoid telling him. So much. Then again, I should have known that I couldn't hide the truth forever. Sooner or later we might run into Paul again, or someone else who knew the truth about me. And I couldn't bear having them learn like that.

It had to be from me.

Even so, I couldn't bring myself to tell them. It was something that people hated me for, and I was scared that my new friends would hate me too if they knew. So I just couldn't tell them the truth.

Until I met Growlithe.

He was like me, in a way. He'd been kicked away by Paul, and he was trying to find his way. Did he think that he could regain Paul's respect by beating Cyndaquil? Or was he just trying to get even? I didn't know, but I was still worried when he attacked Ash and Pikachu. Fortunately Ash was able to beat him easily.

And yet he didn't try to catch Growlithe.

I didn't understand why he wouldn't do it. After all, any trainer would happily catch a Pokemon with an unusual color without thinking. And Growlithe had the same color as Electabuzz! It was the best ever!

Yet what Ash said really stuck with me.

"I don't want to force Pokemon to be something they don't want to be. That wouldn't be right."

All my life I'd tried to be a boy, because It was what I was born as. I had thought that since I was born with a boy body, I had to be a boy. But it had never felt right. And it just made me miserable. And even though I hated how the other kids treated me for being trans, it was still better than trying to be a boy when I really felt like a girl. But it still hurt to be abandoned by my former friends.

And Growlithe may not have been trans or anything, but I didn't want him to be abandoned.

"Why don't you come with me? We can become stronger together, and one day we'll show him! And then he won't be able to tell us what we can or can't be!"

I was so happy when he accepted. And yet I was still terrified. I knew that I had to tell Ash and his friends, but I didn't want them to abandon me.

But ultimately, I knew that I couldn't back out. After all, how could I call myself a fan of the Electabuzz if I backed out?

So I told them everything. How I had been born as a boy, and yet had always felt like I was batting for the wrong it all came to a head at that summer camp… but not before I met Ash.

Even then, I could barely gather the strength to tell them everything. But then Ash, Brock and Misty all reached out and held my hands.

"Take as much time as you need," Misty said in a kind voice. "We're all here for you."

"And if you don't want to talk about it anymore, we can talk about it later," said Brock.

Finally, Ash looked at me with a smile so bright, it made all my fears melt away.

"And, for what it's worth, you're not a freak. At all."

I was shocked. I had never heard that from anyone who wasn't part of my family. And here Ash was telling me that he truly didn't think I was a freak.

I didn't want to cry. Especially not in front of my friends. But a tear escaped anyway.

And then a whole lot more.

And Ash and the rest of my friends held me close as I let it all out.

As I woke up the next day, I struggled to process the events of the previous day. How I'd told my friends the truth, and how readily they had accepted it.

It still didn't feel real. Part of me still feared they would abandon me again, and I had to constantly remind myself that they weren't going anywhere. That they were still here with me.

I had always been worried about others finding out about my secret. Who knows what they would think of me? Or how they would react? What if they rejected me for being different?

I hoped that they truly meant it when they said they would do everything they could to help me.

"Hey, Casey."

I looked up to see Ash sitting next to me. He was alone; even Pikachu was nowhere to be seen, most likely still asleep.

"Oh, hey Ash," I said. "What's up?"

"Can you walk with me?"

"Sure."

I climbed out of my sleeping bag and followed Ash as we walked along the forest.

"So what's up?" I asked.

"Just wanted to ask if you're okay," Ash replied.

"Of course I am," I said. "You guys are amazing."

Ash smiled at me, though part of me wondered if he was really getting through to me.

"Thanks, but I want to make sure you're okay," he said.

"I'm fine," I said. "Really."

"Okay, but if you ever need anything, we're here," he replied. "And you can talk to us about anything you want. We're your friends, and we're not going to leave you no matter what. Okay?"

I know he and the others had told me that already, but it still made me smile when he said it.

"Thanks," I said.

The two of us continued our walk, neither of us speaking as we simply enjoyed each other's company.

"Hey, Ash?" I said.

"Yeah?"

I hesitated for a moment. I knew he was serious when he said he wouldn't leave, but I still had one thing on my mind that I needed to get out.

"Do you... think it's weird?" I asked. "You know, that I prefer being a girl even though I... have a boy body?"

Ash frowned.

"I mean... I don't really understand it," he admitted. "It's kind of strange to think about, really, with you having... boy parts, and everything."

My face fell a bit. But then Ash said something amazing.

"But honestly, I don't think it's that big a deal. It doesn't change who you are. You're still the same person inside."

My eyes widened, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"You really think so?"

"Yes I do," he answered. "And more importantly, you're still my friend, right?"

His words were so kind and comforting, I had to fight back tears.

"Thank you, Ash," I said.

"Anytime," he replied. "Now come on, let's go back before the others wake up and think that we've gone missing."

"Okay," I said. But as we turned back towards the campsite, I stopped.

"Casey?" Ash asked. "What's wrong?"

Nervously, I looked downwards.

"Um... can you hold my hand?"

Ash nodded and reached out for my hand. As he held it, I could feel my face grow warm.

"Is this... weird?" I asked.

Ash shook his head.

"Nah," he said. "Honestly, it feels kind of nice."

My heart melted at his words.

"Thanks, Ash."

With a smile, the two of us walked back towards the campsite. And as I held his hand, in that moment, I felt safe.

For the first time in a long time, I truly felt like everything was going to be okay.

A/N: Man it's been a while since I worked on this story, hasn't it?

To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure how to proceed from the big reveal of the previous chapter. And I'm still not 100% sure. But I think the important part is that Casey is still, well, Casey. So that's what I'm doing.

Anyway, you may have noticed that this story now has cover art. I actually had this commissioned a long time ago, but it's only now that I've gotten around to posting it. It was made by the extremely talented KurumiErika, who makes some incredible Pokémon fanart!

So, I hope that the next chapter doesn't take over a year to be released, but I can't promise anything. Still, I can at least try!