MWA HA HA!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE SOOO MUCH FUN! I HAVE TAKEN OVER AND NOW I SHALL REIGN! HELP ME, PLEASE LET ME GO! [Screams while being tortured on a stretching board] SHUT UP, I'M IN CHARGE NOW!!! But before I continue my torture, I guess we should get on with the story… *sigh* I hate disclaimers.
Disclaimer: DO WE LOOK LIKE WE OWN YU YU HAKUSHO OR HARRY POTTER?
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Strange CircumstancesBotan_Rocks721
Birds sung their happy melodies with joy. The sun woke up from its slumber and climbed the sky with grace and pride. It took its place in the heavens and hung there like a beacon. The wind was absent today, but it was still crisp and cool. In place of a breeze, there was fog all around. It looked extremely magical as it wafted daintily above the grounds.
Botan wouldn't know about any of this though, for she was still sound asleep. Her mouth was wide open with drool gurgling from it as she twisted and turned atop of the now wrinkled sheets. She could've slumbered like that for three more hours at least, if a bell hadn't rung.
"Captain Botan, the great beast is straight ahead of us!" Cried one of her crew aboard the gigantic submarine. "The torpedoes aren't working Captain!" Another person hollered.
She slammed her fist down hard on the control panel and shouted to the terrified crew, "Darn the torpedoes me; let's ram the great squid! Full speed ahead mates!" Before the submarine could begin its charge, a repulsively slimy tentacle shot out with terrifying speed and curled around the poor craft to begin to crush it. An alarm started, causing even more panic among the horror-stricken crew.
A crewmember hollered, "We're going down! This is the end!" People began screaming and shouting as the sub began to crack and break. Suddenly, water rushed in and began to drown the hapless crew. The salty substance cascaded into Botan's mouth and filled her lungs. She began to sway as her sight clouded. The beeping noise seemed louder than ever now that the end was near. "Darn I wish that infernal racket would stop!" She cried as she fell to the floor.
Botan awoke with a start and looked around her new room. "Geez, no that is what I call a weird dream," she said to no one in particular. She was about to fall back asleep, when her eyes widened in realization. She sat up straight and cried out in horror, "OH NO! THAT WAS THE TARDY BELL! I'M LATE FOR MY FIRST CLASS!"
She rushed out of bed at break-neck speed to put on some clean clothes. Botan ran by her mirror and stopped dead in her tracks… Her hair was a complete disaster. "Oh darn it!" she shouted in frustration, "I don't have time to take a shower!" The unlucky deity jumped in the shower to wash off. She quickly dressed and brushed her hair. By now, she was ten minutes late.
Rather ungracefully, she burst through the door to the class. Botan was panting and gasping for air. Once again, all eyes were on her, and at that moment, she had a nagging feeling that she had forgotten something. Oh perk up Botan! She thought to herself. This is going to be a wonderful year and we're going to have tons of fun during lessons…LESSONS! She groaned when she realized that she didn't have any lesson plans at all. Heck, she barely even knew what class she was teaching! The poor Grim Reaper began to laugh nervously as she walked over to her desk in the front of the room. Oh man, I have no idea what I'm going to do! She thought to herself while looking around at all of the students.
She coughed nervously and said meekly, "Err… hello class… As you probably know I'm Professor Botan and I'm teaching uh… Defense Against the… uh Defense against the… the… err… what was it again?" Some of the more rebellious students began to chuckle, while Lavender Brown raised her hand and answered, "Umm… Miss Botan, this is Defense Against the Dark Arts."
Botan nodded and said with more confidence than she felt, "Yes of course miss, I was just testing you all to make sure you were awake. Now, can someone please tell me what Defense Against the Dark Arts is?"
Hermione, who usually would have her hand high up in the air, sighed in as exasperation and looked at Ron and Harry with an 'I-told-you-so' look. Harry did have to admit that Miss Botan seemed totally clueless, but he wasn't going to give up hope yet. You'd think that after so many bad teachers, we could be lucky enough to get a good one. He thought rather hopelessly. Though by the way this year was starting out, it didn't look like a really good sign.
Pavarti Patil was kind enough to give "Professor" Botan the answer to her question. The rather inexperienced teacher began desperately thinking of things to do for two whole periods. If I can get through this, I can use my lunch break to read up on this so-called "Defense" Against the Dark Arts. She thought as she surveyed the classroom once again.
"Wonderful answer miss, but I think we should take this time for everyone to give their names, since I have absolutely no idea who you are," Botan stated with renewed perkiness. The class groaned at two things. First of all, her constant cheery attitude was going to drive them nuts. And second of all, they all had known each other for six years now. This is certainly going to be a long year, thought many of them.
"Ok, we'll start with the front; what's your name my young sir?" Botan questioned. "Err… its Neville Longbottom ma'am."
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By the time they were nearly done, over half of the class was asleep. Ron had to be prodded by Harry before he called out his name. Finally, only Harry was left. He said his name while yawning; he himself had been dozing for twenty minutes. Everybody expected some sort of reaction from their teacher, but none expected the one they got. "Harry Potter, hmm… you know that's a nice name!" If everyone had been standing up, they would've fallen over anime-style. All of the students were awake now, and all were staring at Botan (once again) in shock and/or confusion.
She didn't notice their looks as she continued, "I'm sorry to tell you this Harry, but you have a funny-looking line on your forehead. I can't believe your friends let you walk around all day without telling you! I apologize if I embarrassed you, but I'll excuse you if you want to find a bathroom to wipe it off." The class sat dumbstruck when she said this. How could she not know! I know she's from Japan, but still! That was the only thought that buzzed around in everyone's heads. Unfortunately, Draco Malfoy was the first to recover.
"Well what do you know, Potty isn't as famous as he thought he was!" He said in a mocking tone. Some Slytherins got over their stupor as they began to snicker. But their chuckles were soon replaced by the laughter of the Gryffindors. Before Malfoy could do anything, he was whacked on the head with a wooden oar. "YOWCH! Whoever did that's going to…" his voice trailed off as he turned around to face his ticked off teacher.
"I can be nice at times, but don't let that deceive you. I don't want any rude comments made in this classroom this year. Is that clear?" she threatened while gripping her oar menacingly. All of the students were even more shocked, well except for Malfoy who was now mumbling while rubbing his injured head. Most of the class was surprised at her sudden mood swing. But they were even more surprised when it left as quickly as it had come. She hopped onto her oar and floated to the front of the classroom. Her cheery mood returned like a hurricane as she realized what they could do to pass the rest of the period by.
"Now students, Defense Against the Dark Arts is a good class to learn of how to defend yourselves against evil creatures. But Miss Patil didn't say anything about guarding yourselves against evil wizards and witches. I'd like you all to push you tables against the wall, so we can have a ring in the center of the room." When the students finished the task, she clapped her hands together in excitement. "Wonderful, absolutely wonderful! Now we're going to play a little game," she said while giggling. The class stood extremely rigid. Nobody was really sure if they wanted to know what this game was.
"Neville, please come up here will you?" Poor Neville looked petrified as he made his way to the center of the room. He stopped a few steps away from Botan and was now sweating an awful lot. But the teacher wasn't so oblivious that she couldn't see that. She tried to reassure him, but to no avail, "Oh no need to be worried! It's not like I'm going to kill you!" Saying this only made Neville gulp and sweat more. He looked like he was on the verge of fainting.
"It's ok, I just want you to hit me!" She continued. Now on top of being worried on what this game was about, the poor boy now seriously thought that his new teacher was nuts. "Err…what did you say Miss Botan?" He questioned in a tiny voice. "I said HIT ME! You know, do some of that weird hocus pocus stuff!" Neville wasn't the only one who thought that she was insane; the entire class was staring at her like she was a psycho. Botan, totally unaware of this, sighed and said, "Please, just do a magic spell; anything will do. This lesson is going to be on ways you can attack an evil wizard or witch! What, did you think I was insane?" The class chuckled nervously at this remark.
With renewed confidence, Neville smiled and hoping to catch his teacher off guard yelled, "Stupefy!" A ball of red light shot out of his wand and headed straight for his strange new teacher (A/N Wow, the buffoon actually did something right! [Starts laughing but then is hit on the head with a coke can as garbage comes flying at him] YOWCH!!! BLAST YOU EVER PRESENT CROWD OF MEAN READERS!!!)
To his utter shock and horror, as the spell was about to hit her, Botan turned her head to face him and smiled. She back-flipped off her oar while still holding it in one hand, and then swung it like a baseball bat at the spell. The two connected, but instead of dissolving, the curse bounced off and traveled back towards Neville. It hit him square in the chest, and the unfortunate boy was thrown backwards into the wall. He landed on the ground dazed and amazingly confused about what had just happened.
Botan's smile quickly faded and said in a concerned voice, "Oh dear Neville, are you ok?" There was no point in asking that as clearly the boy was not ok. He managed to utter, "Err…did you know that I like cheese?" The rest of the class looked at Neville and blanched. This isn't going to be much fun… Thought many of them.
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Well good, another chapter's over. I'm glad because now I won't have to look at your ugly faces anymore! Evil Side, don't you think it's about time I get back to work? By now, all of the readers have probably left because of your appalling behavior! SHUT UP MORON! BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT, I GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL IN STORE FOR YOU! [Says while lighting a match] Oh dear…this doesn't look too good…
To be continued (I hope)…
P.S. REVIEW OR ELSE!!!