LISA
"What is going on, Jen?" Pulling her hair back for her as she got sick, I rubbed her back. "You've thrown up every morning this week. I really think it's time to go to the doctor."
Brushing me away with a firm hand, she grabbed some toilet paper and wiped her mouth. "No, I'm fine. I don't need a doctor, Lisa."
Letting out an annoyed breath, I raked my hands through my hair. "Why are you being so difficult about this?"
"I'm not being difficult, I just know I'll be fine."
"Jennie—"
"Lisa!" she barked, whipping her body around as she sat on back on her heels. "Just stop with all this doctor stuff. I'm fine."
Standing up quickly, I turned away from her, pacing in the small bathroom. "You have barely eaten anything, you throw up every damn day, you've been so damn moody. . ." Pausing, I let my eyes settle on hers. "What the hell is going on, something isn't right, tell me what it is." My voice was harsh, almost cold.
Things had seemed off with her and I couldn't place a finger on it. A part of me was starting to worry that she was ill, sick with something that wasn't curable. I couldn't stop the thoughts from rushing through my mind.
Does she have some sort of cancer and knows it?
Is she hiding some terminal illness from me?
The thought of that broke me inside, it tore my heart out and stomped it into the ground. I didn't know how I would handle it if she was truly ill and unfixable.
Hanging her head, her eyes filled with tears. I watched as they slowly started to trickle down, following the curve of her jaw and plopping onto the tops of her thighs. My heart broke as I watched her sobbing, her shoulders shaking violently with each inhale.
Dropping to her side, I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tight. "I'm sorry, I didn't meant to make you cry. But please, just tell me what's going on with you."
Looking up at me, her eyes were red and swollen. "I'm pregnant, Lisa."
Pregnant.
Pregnant. . .
Holy fucking shit.
Scratching my head, I let the words sink in. "You're pregnant?" Sniffling, she wiped her cheeks as she nodded. "So we're having a baby?" Nodding again, Jennie peered up at me like a lost soul. "Wow. I, I don't. . . Wow."
It was the last thing I ever expected, the last thing I thought could ever happen. We had used condoms. . .
Not the first time.
Pulling her up onto my lap, I curled an arm around her back and held the other to her belly. "How long have you known?" I asked, pressing my fingers tighter against her skin.
"I found out a few weeks ago, by accident really." Her fingers tickled through my hair, teasing the ends. Jennie went on to to explain how she had passed out, and through routine blood work, she had learned of the baby.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked.
"I was going to the night you had set me up on the last date." Cupping her hands over my cheeks, she held my face, forcing me to look at her. "But then you told me about your past, you told me how you felt about me. I guess I was afraid it might scare you away. I wanted to wait until the right time, and well. . ." The soft pad of her thumb rubbed against the curve of my jaw. "This was the right time."
As I looked into her eyes, her face, her lips; I was hit by a feeling, an emotion—
Love.
I loved the life she carried inside her, I loved the way she cared, she laughed.
I loved her.
For the first time ever, I could say I felt the nerve that fed us all, the desire we all ran to, and craved to have for ourselves.
I felt everything around me. The air tasted sweet, the light was bold and bright and warmed my face, the smell of her perfume hung in my senses and made an imprint of that moment like a scar across my skin.
I loved her.
Staring into her cat eye gaze, I curled my fingertips deep into the small of her back. "Jennie, I need to tell you—"Searching her eyes, the soft expression eased my nerves. "I love you." Jennie opened her lips to speak, but I wouldn't let her stop the flow of words rising off my tongue. "I was afraid to love anyone, because I didn't think anyone would love me back." Pressing our bodies together, I held her firmly in my arms. "I love you so much it hurts, I would never run away from you and I'd never run away from my child."
A single tear cascaded down her cheek, followed by another, then another. The tears began to shed, but her lips stayed in a steady smile. "I'm sorry, it's the hormones." Laughing gently, she wiped her face with the back of her hand, and inhaled a deep breath. "I love you too, I do. I didn't think I'd ever say those words again." Sniffling, Jennie laid her head on my chest. "But you were right all along."
"About what?" I asked, whispering the words into her hair.
"That I had room in my heart."
Smiling, I picked her face up with a single finger under her chin. "You'll never have to make room again, I'm never going anywhere. My place is with you, it's with Ella, it's with our little bundle growing in your stomach." Wriggling my fingertips against her belly, Jennie giggled, smacking my hands away.
And I knew right then that everything I needed was right there.
It had fallen into my hands, and I had been too blind to see it.
Family.