Lost, Confused. Unkind (Sequel To "Freaked")
Chapter 72
God get me out of this
Don't make me feel this
I'd rather be numb
Feel nothing
Rather than have this thing
Crushing me
Unable to breathe
God take this feeling
I want it to leave
(Paper_cut)
There was voices in the kitchen, doors opening & closing as I stared into his eyes, unable to move or look away. His fingers were still curled around mine, both of our hands locked to each other as he stood between them with his body against mine, just staring. I could hardly breathe as my tears fell silently.
"Sasha's baaaaa…………" Betty poked her head around the door & stared at us in disbelief! "Oh……erm…….err…….sorry I ah……"
"I'll be right there." I said without taking my eyes from Jeff's, she closed the door quietly.
"Bec….."
"I have to go!" I untangled both of my hands from his & wiped my face.
"I love you!" He whispered.
I put my hand on the door handle, my back was to him, "I slept with Adam tonight." I didn't wait for him to speak I just went into the kitchen. Why did I say that? I wanted him to hate me. I didn't want to hurt him but all the same I knew it would & it was killing me. But rather he despise me than love me & died for it!
None of it mattered when I saw my friend at the back door almost crumpled in a heap, clutching at her chest with tears falling to the floor. Oh how I knew how it felt to have your heart ripped out like that! I went straight to her with no thought of how my own heart pained with every beat. I put my arm around her shoulders.
"Get her a whiskey!" I said to Betty as Sasha almost fell to her knees & I held on to her.
"It's over! It's over!" She sobbed breathlessly & I took her into my arms as Dwayne came over & helped me get her to a seat.
It was hours later before we were able to calm her down. Dwayne, Chris & Jeff had all gone into the living room while Betty & I tried to 'fix' her up a little. It was 2 hours later when we followed them in expecting them to be asleep but they weren't! All 3 guys stood up as we walked in and there we stood the 6 of us, 3 guys & 3 girls! How perfect a picture it would have made to anyone looking on! Anyone who didn't know us! Anyone that didn't know what fucked up lives we had (Well some of us had!) Maybe it would have been good not to know - just to be able to stare at the picture and smile!
"You guys better not have drank all the whiskey!" Sasha forced a smile & we all laughed quietly when Jeff held out the empty bottle! "Aw great! How am I meant to drown my sorrows with water?!" She whined.
"I'll go & get another bottle!" I squeezed her shoulder & went into the kitchen to search the cupboards.
"Shitty day huh?" I closed one of the cupboard doors to see Dwayne leaning on the counter.
"Yep! Shitty! HA! Fucking bullshit fucking fucked up bastard of a day!" Dwayne raised his eyebrows at me, "Oh ignore me!" I opened another cupboard. "Oh and thanks Dwayne! I didn't expect you to stay with her & bring her back here! I bet it wasn't pretty huh?"
"Hey I waited in the car! None of my business!" He folded his arms, "Anyway I figured she'd probably need a ride!"
I smirked, "They broke the mold Dwayne Johnson you know that?"
"What?" He smiled.
"Well you! You're….well you're just Mr fantastic or something!" I laughed.
"Oh I'm not that! Believe me!"
"Yeah well my luck all the good guys are married……….ah ha!" I held up a bottle of brandy, "Nasty, but it'll do the trick!" Dwayne was miles away, "Helloooo?"
"What? Oh yeah God Brandy? Is that all you got?"
"It's all I can find!" I smiled & got some extra glasses from the shelf, "Are you ok?" I put the glasses on the counter & went to him, "You don't seem your usual self tonight?"
"Me? Hell yeah! I'm great!" He forced one of his winning smiles but I wasn't convinced!
"You can tell me y'know if there's something on your mind!"
"Well actually there is one thing!"
"Go on!"
"Why the hell did you say that shit to Jeff earlier?" I stared at him & swallowed.
"He told you?"
"Yeah he told me! Bec you just about broke the guy's heart! I don't get it! I mean are you seeing Adam? What?"
"No I'm not seeing Adam and…" I grabbed the brandy & the glasses, "I need a drink!"
He grabbed my arm, a little too rough for my liking as I tried to walk past him & I looked down at his hand. He loosened his grip slightly but didn't let go. "Bec you're my friend & I love you you know that! But….just don't fuck with the guy's head ok? He doesn't deserve that….and it's not you!"
"I've got other things on my mind right now Dwayne!"
He took the bottle & glasses from my hands & put them on the counter, unscrewed the top off the brandy & took a huge gulp! My eyes widened & my jaw dropped! Dwayne didn't drink! What the fuck was going on? He drew a breath through his teeth & shook his head.
"He loves you! You love him! Bring on the big ole purple dinosaur & let's have a sing along!" He took another big gulp from the bottle, he was turning into The Rock infront of my eyes & it was freaking me out!
"What are you doing? Give me that!" I snatched the bottle from his hand & he laughed.
"What am I doing? What am I……sweetheart you need to be asking yourself that question!" he went to the living room door, "Hey Jeffro!" He gestured to him & I closed my eyes.
"Dwayne!" I hissed.
Jeff got to the door & he ushered him into the kitchen.
"Right this is how it's gonna be kids!" Dwayne smiled, "I'm sick & tired of your bullshit!" He whirled around and pointed at Jeff who took a step backwards, "Be a man & stop taking all of her crap! And you!" He pointed at me, "Stop being a bitch! It's very unbecoming!" he grabbed the bottle from my hand & I just stood there totally stunned. "Shout, scream, hell screw each other's brains out on the table I DON'T CARE! But either one of you idiots walk through that door without sorting this out one way or the other & I'll kick both your scrawny asses into next week……ok kids?" He patted us both on the shoulder, smiled & took a gulp from the bottle as he walked back into the living room.
Chapter 72
God get me out of this
Don't make me feel this
I'd rather be numb
Feel nothing
Rather than have this thing
Crushing me
Unable to breathe
God take this feeling
I want it to leave
(Paper_cut)
There was voices in the kitchen, doors opening & closing as I stared into his eyes, unable to move or look away. His fingers were still curled around mine, both of our hands locked to each other as he stood between them with his body against mine, just staring. I could hardly breathe as my tears fell silently.
"Sasha's baaaaa…………" Betty poked her head around the door & stared at us in disbelief! "Oh……erm…….err…….sorry I ah……"
"I'll be right there." I said without taking my eyes from Jeff's, she closed the door quietly.
"Bec….."
"I have to go!" I untangled both of my hands from his & wiped my face.
"I love you!" He whispered.
I put my hand on the door handle, my back was to him, "I slept with Adam tonight." I didn't wait for him to speak I just went into the kitchen. Why did I say that? I wanted him to hate me. I didn't want to hurt him but all the same I knew it would & it was killing me. But rather he despise me than love me & died for it!
None of it mattered when I saw my friend at the back door almost crumpled in a heap, clutching at her chest with tears falling to the floor. Oh how I knew how it felt to have your heart ripped out like that! I went straight to her with no thought of how my own heart pained with every beat. I put my arm around her shoulders.
"Get her a whiskey!" I said to Betty as Sasha almost fell to her knees & I held on to her.
"It's over! It's over!" She sobbed breathlessly & I took her into my arms as Dwayne came over & helped me get her to a seat.
It was hours later before we were able to calm her down. Dwayne, Chris & Jeff had all gone into the living room while Betty & I tried to 'fix' her up a little. It was 2 hours later when we followed them in expecting them to be asleep but they weren't! All 3 guys stood up as we walked in and there we stood the 6 of us, 3 guys & 3 girls! How perfect a picture it would have made to anyone looking on! Anyone who didn't know us! Anyone that didn't know what fucked up lives we had (Well some of us had!) Maybe it would have been good not to know - just to be able to stare at the picture and smile!
"You guys better not have drank all the whiskey!" Sasha forced a smile & we all laughed quietly when Jeff held out the empty bottle! "Aw great! How am I meant to drown my sorrows with water?!" She whined.
"I'll go & get another bottle!" I squeezed her shoulder & went into the kitchen to search the cupboards.
"Shitty day huh?" I closed one of the cupboard doors to see Dwayne leaning on the counter.
"Yep! Shitty! HA! Fucking bullshit fucking fucked up bastard of a day!" Dwayne raised his eyebrows at me, "Oh ignore me!" I opened another cupboard. "Oh and thanks Dwayne! I didn't expect you to stay with her & bring her back here! I bet it wasn't pretty huh?"
"Hey I waited in the car! None of my business!" He folded his arms, "Anyway I figured she'd probably need a ride!"
I smirked, "They broke the mold Dwayne Johnson you know that?"
"What?" He smiled.
"Well you! You're….well you're just Mr fantastic or something!" I laughed.
"Oh I'm not that! Believe me!"
"Yeah well my luck all the good guys are married……….ah ha!" I held up a bottle of brandy, "Nasty, but it'll do the trick!" Dwayne was miles away, "Helloooo?"
"What? Oh yeah God Brandy? Is that all you got?"
"It's all I can find!" I smiled & got some extra glasses from the shelf, "Are you ok?" I put the glasses on the counter & went to him, "You don't seem your usual self tonight?"
"Me? Hell yeah! I'm great!" He forced one of his winning smiles but I wasn't convinced!
"You can tell me y'know if there's something on your mind!"
"Well actually there is one thing!"
"Go on!"
"Why the hell did you say that shit to Jeff earlier?" I stared at him & swallowed.
"He told you?"
"Yeah he told me! Bec you just about broke the guy's heart! I don't get it! I mean are you seeing Adam? What?"
"No I'm not seeing Adam and…" I grabbed the brandy & the glasses, "I need a drink!"
He grabbed my arm, a little too rough for my liking as I tried to walk past him & I looked down at his hand. He loosened his grip slightly but didn't let go. "Bec you're my friend & I love you you know that! But….just don't fuck with the guy's head ok? He doesn't deserve that….and it's not you!"
"I've got other things on my mind right now Dwayne!"
He took the bottle & glasses from my hands & put them on the counter, unscrewed the top off the brandy & took a huge gulp! My eyes widened & my jaw dropped! Dwayne didn't drink! What the fuck was going on? He drew a breath through his teeth & shook his head.
"He loves you! You love him! Bring on the big ole purple dinosaur & let's have a sing along!" He took another big gulp from the bottle, he was turning into The Rock infront of my eyes & it was freaking me out!
"What are you doing? Give me that!" I snatched the bottle from his hand & he laughed.
"What am I doing? What am I……sweetheart you need to be asking yourself that question!" he went to the living room door, "Hey Jeffro!" He gestured to him & I closed my eyes.
"Dwayne!" I hissed.
Jeff got to the door & he ushered him into the kitchen.
"Right this is how it's gonna be kids!" Dwayne smiled, "I'm sick & tired of your bullshit!" He whirled around and pointed at Jeff who took a step backwards, "Be a man & stop taking all of her crap! And you!" He pointed at me, "Stop being a bitch! It's very unbecoming!" he grabbed the bottle from my hand & I just stood there totally stunned. "Shout, scream, hell screw each other's brains out on the table I DON'T CARE! But either one of you idiots walk through that door without sorting this out one way or the other & I'll kick both your scrawny asses into next week……ok kids?" He patted us both on the shoulder, smiled & took a gulp from the bottle as he walked back into the living room.