LISA
––––––––
"Ella, breakfast!" I called down the hallway and the sound of her quick feet swiftly followed.
"Goooood morning, Lili!" She yelled, jumping into the kitchen and holding out her arms.
Her smile warmed my stomach, the twinkling in her eyes shined like spotlights in the dark. Ella had become a huge part of my life, I looked at her like she was my own daughter.
Dancing to the table, she tapped her toes against the tiles, and wiggled her body. "What are you doing?" I asked, cocking my head and raising a brow.
"What does it look like?" Ella continued her spastic maneuvers, staring at me with her teeth on display.
"It looks like you have ants stuck in your pants."
Giggling, she rolled her eyes and threw her hands to her ribs. "No, I'm getting my welcome dance ready for Sweet Pea."
Sweet Pea was the name Ella had given to her soon to be baby brother—or sister. Jennie and I had decided not to learn the sex.
There were few things in this world that were completely out of someone's control, and for us, this would be a welcome surprise.
"Ahh, okay, gotcha." Mimicking her moves, I danced my way to the table and placed down her egg sandwich.
"Lili, that's not it at all."
"Well teach me so I can do it right. We should be completely in sync to make the dance perfect."
Ella continued to stomp her feet, flail her arms, and toss her body around. And even though she was insisting it was a dance... I still couldn't shake the image of her having some small critters scaling around her body and making her itch.
"What are you guys doing?" Jennie's sleepy voice radiated from behind us, her body perched against the wall.
"We are dancing. You can't tell?" I asked, never stopping my moves. "Ella is teaching me the welcome dance for the baby."
Rubbing her large belly, Jennie smirked. "Oh, okay, yeah that's good. But how about we eat, the baby is starving."
Ella's tiny head joggled side to side, eyes slinking into her skull. "Mommy, the baby is always starving, does it ever stop eating?"
"Nope, and when you were a baby, you didn't either." Popping her lips in a loud smack, Jennie inhaled a huge gulp of air. "That smells delicious."
"Of course it does, you haven't wanted anything but eggs for four months now." Sliding her sandwich across the counter, Jennie snatched it up and dove right in.
With a mouth full of food, she let her lids fall closed, moaning soft coos to the flavor hitting her tongue. "I could seriously eat these all day every day." Rolling her head across her shoulders, she opened her eyes and smiled. Her cheeks were fully stuffed with egg and bread, tiny crumbs speckled her lips. "Thank you."
"Anything for you, Beautiful." Winking, I picked up my plate and headed to the table. "If you'd like to eat with us, I can always give you mine and make another." Chuckling, I laid the plate on the table, pulling out the seat, and holding out my hand.
"No, sit, I'll make another." Her tongue dragged over her lips, as she scuffed her swelling feet across the floor. "One more should hit the spot."
Ella sat across from me, her chubby little cheeks hitting below her eyes as she ate her breakfast. "Lili, do you still have the tickets from Kids Bop?" Her fluffy curls bounced over her face, spinning up as she snapped her head side to side.
Scrunching my face, I glanced up at the ceiling, thinking for a moment. "I think so, I think I still have them in my wallet." Grabbing a napkin, I wiped my hands and pulled out my wallet. "Yup, they're right here."
"Can I have them?" she asked.
"Sure, they're all yours." Laying them on the table in front of me, Ella let out an excited giggle, and darted off down the hall.
I didn't think too much about it, her need for the stubs. I had taken her to a concert last weekend, and the girl seemed to have the best night of her life. Ella had been talking about wanting to go to a concert, and had seen some commercial for Kids Bop.
After talking with Jennie, she was more than happy to let me take her. I had tried to convince Jen to join us, but she so kindly told me that the baby had begun to make her life hell, and since she was due in the next few weeks. . . She didn't want to chance the loud music popping her water.
So Ella and I went and the girl was beyond ecstatic to go.
The sound of grease snapped in the background, the fresh scent of eggs started to waft in my direction. "Is your mom coming?" I asked, sliding two pieces of toast into the toaster.
"Yeah, she's coming Saturday, and she said she'd stay as long as we need her."
"Good, that will help a lot, especially since you're due any day now."
Lowering into the seat at my side, Jennie's plate clanked against the wood as she put it down. "Damn, my back is killing me. This is the part I hate, the last month. It always seems to be endless."
"Yeah, well it won't be forever."
"That's easy for you to say, you're not carrying around thirty extra pounds, and have feet snuggling under your ribs." Elbowing me in the chest, she dug into her second egg sandwich.
The tiny patter of Ella's feet scrambled down the hall, her head popping around the door frame with her signature smile. "Lili, I have a surprise for you."
"You do?" I asked, angling my head to look at her.
Stepping out from behind the wall, she was holding a notebook to her chest. I heard Jennie inhale a sharp breath, her hand nestled into the dip between my shoulder blades, softly tracing her nails up and down.
Ella shook her head up and down, stepping closer. "I... I want to share something with you."
A gentle sniffle floated into my ear. Turning to look at Jen, her eyes were welling up, glistening in tears. But she was smiling, her lips thin and pulled back tight.
"Okay, Boo. I'd love for you to share with me."
"This, this is my special notebook."
Our bet from months ago crawled back into my mind. The one I had forgotten about, and lost in the whirlwind my life had become.
"Wait, you want to share it with me?" Nodding, Ella inched closer, still holding her book snugly into her chest. "But I didn't win the bet, I haven't scared you yet."
"I know, but you gave me something to finally put in here."
"I don't understand." Looking between Ella and Jennie, my eyes were open wide, curious and slightly confused.
What did I do?
Holding out the notebook, Ella said, "Here, look."
Taking the weathered green book in my hands, it felt like it might crumble under my fingers if I squeezed it to firmly. Gently, I opened the cover, and looked over the first page.
The bright white of the paper was now faded and yellow, stains of dark brown and tan rolled around the edges. Flicking my eyes over the pieces secured in place, it all began to sink in.
This was a ticket book. Ella's special notebook was filled with different tickets from concerts to plays, movies, and musicals. The dates went back to almost twenty years ago, well before her time.
Cocking my head to Jen, her face was flushed, tears trickling over the red apples of her cheeks. "This was Taehyung's book. He saved all the stubs from almost everything he went to. I gave this to Ella for her birthday, so she could fill it herself one day." Wiping her face, she grabbed a napkin and pressed it to her lids. "I wanted her to have another way to connect to her dad, something special for her."
"Lili," Ella said, tugging on the sleeve of my shirt. "Will you help me put these tickets in it?" Pointing to our tickets from the concert, I had to clear my throat before I could answer.
I had never felt so privileged in my entire life. Ella wanted me to be a part of her book, her book that kept her close to her father, that meant more to her than anything else.
She had accepted me into her life in a way that I would never have expected. And I loved her for it.
"Ella, it would be my pleasure to help you put these in." Kissing the top of her head, I smiled.
Jennie stroked my arm, twining her fingers into mine. And for the first time in my life I had everything I could ever need.
I was home.
––––––––
Two Weeks Later
Jennie's fingers latched around my wrist, clenching down with such force I cringed. "You're almost there, Baby, almost. One more big push."
"I can see the head, give us one more, Jennie." Dr. Faulkner spoke firmly, his body pressed in below her hips.
"I can't, I can't," she cried, her voice soft and out of breath. Her head fell back, eyes shutting tight. Shaking her head, a long painful moan grumbled from her lips.
"You can do this, I need you to give me one last push, Jennie." The doctor positioned himself again, shifting on his heels. "Come on, let's go, push."
Taking in a deep breath, Jennie gripped the crease beneath her knees. Her back arched forward, brows furrowing into her nose. "Ahh!" she screamed, so loud, and filled with so much pain, I felt my heart crack down the middle.
I didn't like seeing her this way, and it made me ill. I had almost passed out once already, teetering on the edge of my feet, and having to land a heavy hand on the railing of her bed.
Cupping her jaw, I held her eyes firmly on mine. "You can do this, you're so strong, push, Jen." The sweat dripping over her forehead ran down her temples, the roots of her hair were soaked from base to tip.
Staring down at her tired face and pained expression, she let out one long grunt, then collapsed back into the bed. "Jen?" Stroking her face, I asked again. "Jen?"
She was so quiet, laying so still and motionless. "Jen?" My tone became frantic, eyes darting over her body and touching her cheeks. I was bracing myself to grab her shoulders and shake her violently, but the doctor finally chimed in.
"She's alright, she's just exhausted. Her body has had enough and she's out cold."
"What about the baby?" I asked the doctor, brushing Jennie's hair behind her ear.
The gentle coo of a soft voice crept through the room, the sound seemed to be coming from another place, but then it grew louder, and louder.
Glancing up, I looked down towards Jennie's knees. The doctor was smiling, arms cuddling a small pink bundle. "The baby is fine, Ms. Manoban. Congratulations, you have a baby girl. Do you want to cut the cord?" he asked.
I felt my entire body go numb, tingling and buzzing as I heard the cry again. "It's a girl, we had a girl."
Nodding, I went to his side, and looked down on the most precious gift Jen had given me. Our daughter was beautiful.
I had heard that babies that small couldn't smile.
But our daughter...
She was born with a smile.
And with that one smile, my heart beat against my chest. My eyes welled up with tears I couldn't shake away, and I finally knew what it was like to love someone so much it hurt.
Because with that pain came happiness.
With that pain came life.
And this was my life, this was who I was meant to be.
My breath had been taken by Jennie the first time we met, and now it was stolen by my daughter, my sweet pea. . . My little Adeline.
THE END ...