The Things I Couldn't Say Then
Part I
He'd come back with the fear that she was really gone - that this wasn't a dream. Pulling his motorcycle up to the curb, Jason turned the machine off and looked up at the high rise in front of him. Sonny had called him telling him about the accident. He'd been confident then that Carly would come out of it okay. But then Johnny had called a few days later and informed him that the much-awaited DNA results had come in. Carly was dead.
And that was why he was here. To say goodbye - although it was a little late for that. Jason sighed as he pulled off the black gloves and put them in the pockets of his signature leather jacket. It was going to be hard enough to face Sonny – the man had loved Carly, Jason knew that without a doubt. But it was still going to hurt to look at his best friend and not see the betrayal of almost a year past. He had to set that aside - for now. The past had to be put away.
"Hey Johnny," Jason said as he stepped off the elevator. The bodyguard gave him a pained smile.
"Hello, Mr. Morgan," he said. Johnny had been Carly's favorite guard - and Johnny had liked Carly as well. Jason nodded to him as he stepped up to the door. Pushing it open, he was taken back in time. He could see the three of them sitting around the fireplace arguing - well, it had been Carly and Sonny arguing and Jason just listening in most of the time. He could see Carly sitting on the couch with Michael in her arms, smiling. He could see her telling him she loved him - Jason - over and over again. And he could see her coming down those stairs wearing nothing but the silk dress shirt known to be worn by the one and only Sonny Corinthos. Jason shook the memory from his head. He couldn't think about that right now - not with the one and only Sonny Corinthos sitting right in front of him.
"Sonny," he greeted, walking gingerly into the room. The dark-haired mobster sat in the black leather chair facing the door. He said nothing, only swirled his brandy. So, Jason stood, waiting to be acknowledged by his best friend. It took a couple of minutes.
"You thought of her as soon as you walked in that door, didn't you?" Sonny asked, not even looking up at his closest friend and associate. Jason closed his eyes before answering. He wasn't known to lie.
"I never stopped thinking about her," he answered honestly. Dark eyes looked up to meet unflinching blue ones. Sonny looked down again at the amber colored alcohol and nodded. He lifted it to his lips and downed it in one swallow.
"She never stopped loving you," he said standing up. Jason continued to watch his employer. "As much as she said she loved me, fought for me - it was her loving you and fighting for the remnants of you she saw in me. I was the closest she could get to you." Jason remained silent, outwardly unaffected, but inside his heart ached at those words.
"She loved you Sonny," Jason said, knowing it was true. Sonny laughed a humorless laugh as he turned to face his friend.
"Yeah," Sonny said, sobering quickly. "She did, in whatever way she could after loving you. But I killed that." Jason frowned at that, stepping closer to his friend. "I killed her."
"This is not your fault, Sonny. You didn't do anything," Jason said, laying a hand on his arm.
"I slept with Alexis… that night," he said. Jason's hand retracted as if burned.
"What?" he asked in a mixture of confusion, anger and disgust.
"Alexis was… there. She's been a good friend. She hasn't done anything to make me question her..." he said, going to the bar and filling his glass again. Jason knew the rest.
"So the opportunity arose, you took it, and Carly found you. She got upset," he finished for Sonny. Carly's pain and jealousy caused a lot of problems. They both knew that. They both knew that the hard way. Silence ensued. Jason didn't know what to say.
"We were getting divorced, you know," Sonny said. "It wasn't like I owed her anything..." Jason saw red for a few seconds, but controlled the outburst of temper.
"You couldn't let her go, you couldn't let her move on to someone else, you kept giving her hope that you two would get back together and you didn't owe her anything? That's bullshit," Jason said trying to keep the emotion from his voice. Sonny looked over at the man next to him, surprised.
"I've heard the stories, Sonny - I know how things went down. I know she kissed Zander and you lost it because she may have moved on… and I know that whenever she got jealous of you and Alexis you just laughed it off and treated her like a child. It must kill you that she was right in the end," Jason said not even bothering to cover the criticism and condescension. Sonny pinched the bridge of his nose before nodding slightly.
"I deserve that," he said.
"Yeah, you do," Jason said. He watched Sonny for a few minutes longer before turning and heading out the door. Johnny nodded to him as he stepped in the elevator and made his way out to his motorcycle. Jason didn't know what to think… It was an ironic twist that almost a year ago Jason had felt that his best friend had betrayed him when Sonny slept with Carly.
And now, Carly felt betrayed by that same best friend when he'd slept with Alexis. And just like Jason had years before, Carly had run away. And as usual, Carly running away got her in trouble. This time, it was something that Jason couldn't fix. Jason pounded his hand in frustrated grief on the seat of his motorcycle. Carly had gotten herself into millions of messes, millions of situations, and caused millions of problems in the past - and Jason would do anything to fix them for her. To save her. But he couldn't fix this. He couldn't save her this time.
"Damn it!" he yelled to anyone that would hear as he crouched down next to his bike, laying his head in his hands. A few tears started to fall and he couldn't stop them. They were the first tears he'd shed since getting the call from Johnny. He never told her he loved her. If he regretted anything - and Jason Morgan never regretted anything - that was it. He hadn't told the one woman in the entire world that owned his heart, his soul and his very being that he loved her.
Jason let out a mirthless laugh as he stood up and seated himself on his bike. He'd had every opportunity to tell her over the years. God knew she told him she loved him every time they saw each other. And what did he do? He denied it - to himself, to her and to everyone else that would hear it. He even gave Carly away at her wedding to Sonny saying that it was for the best, that he would never love her like she needed him to. He fucking gave her away! He had stood there while his two best friends pledged their lives to each other! It was a day he was very unlikely to forget. It was a day that he had never been more wrong.
Revving the engine on the bike, he took off. He'd known then that she didn't love Sonny - and he'd known that those tears in her eyes weren't ones of happiness, but ones of knowing that Jason wasn't going to do anything to stop it. If only she'd known that he had valiantly held himself back from tearing her away from Sonny that day. If only she'd known that he had furiously objected - but she didn't, and now she never would. He'd disappointed her; just like he had the day she'd stupidly married A.J. He drove and drove and drove, picturing all of the memories he'd had with her. A fairly easy thing to do since, technically, he had only about six years of memory to contend with.
He continued to drive as the memories of her played over and over. The moment he saw her in Jake's... the night he opened his penthouse door, and there she stood, soaking wet and pregnant with Michael... the whole Sonny/Hannah situation... the night that he kissed her. He thought back to the night that he told her he couldn't love her the way she needed to be loved - the night he broke her heart and his own. If he'd just said something different. If he could just have her back, she'd never doubt his love for her. If he could just see her again, he'd hold her and never let her go.
Before he knew it, he was standing in front of her club. He took a deep breath and walked into it. He looked around and could see why Carly was so proud of it. It was her declaration of independence and she pulled it off. He turned around to look around and noticed Zander sitting at a table in the corner. He walked over and stood looking down at the man.
"What are you doing here, Zander?" he asked in his typical, not-asking sort of way. The dark-haired young man looked up at him, tears in his eyes.
"What do you care, Morgan?" he asked defiantly. "You left her… over and over, in fact. Why do you care that I'm here? I was her friend. I have every right to be here, to be in a place she loved. Why are you here?" Jason just looked at him.
"I'm here because I'm here," he said. Zander just smirked humorlessly.
"Figures. You can't say it even now, can you? No wonder she moved on to Sonny," he said. Jason frowned.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, his annoyance at Zander increasing.
"That's where you and Sonny are alike, you know? You both loved her - but you couldn't, or should I say wouldn't, do anything about it. You both strung her along, to keep her in love with you guys, but you wouldn't let her go. You both could move on, but she couldn't. God forbid she actually be happy with somebody," Zander said with as much malice as he could muster. Jason's annoyance was replaced with anger. He stepped forward and took Zander by the collar of his coat.
"You have no right to talk about things you know nothing about," he growled.
"I know plenty," Zander growled back.
"I loved her… I will always love her. Deep down I think she knew that," Jason said. Zander laughed quietly and shook his head.
"You keep telling yourself that. If she'd known you loved her, she would have tried to find you. But instead, she came to me. Me, because she knew - deep down - that I loved her." Jason's jaw clenched, knowing that Zander knew more than Sonny had let on.
"What do you know?" he asked, angrier than he'd ever been in his life. Zander laughed again.
"I know that she went over to Sonny's with a birthday card from Michael. I know that she was worried about Sonny. Worried! And you know what she saw? She saw Alexis in bed with Sonny. So, being Carly, she got upset - and she came to see me. She wanted someone to love her, and she knew I did..." he said. Jason tightened his hold on Zander, knowing exactly what he was implying.
"You didn't," he said through a clenched jaw wanting so badly to hit the other man.
"I'd like to make you suffer with the did he or didn't he game - but, for some reason, I won't. No, I didn't. I told her to leave. Not because I was a gentleman or because I didn't want her. I just didn't want to be second place, or third place. It wasn't even out of loyalty to Sonny. I just didn't want his face - or yours, for that matter - on mine," he said. Jason shoved Zander away from him and wanted to go pound the crap out of the kid. And that's all he was - a kid with a schoolboy crush. And he was trying to push Jason's buttons.
"Well, well, well. Look who we have here," an accented voice said from the Club 101 doorway. Jason didn't need to look to know that Jasper Jacks stood in the doorway.
"And you need, what, Jax?" Zander asked looking at the blond man.
"Well, this is my club. I think I have the right to be here. Now, what about you two?" he asked.
"I'm here because I want to be," Jason reiterated, crossing his arms. Jax just smiled.
"That's right. I forgot. You're Sonny's errand boy, you think you can do anything. Sorry to break it to you, Morgan, but your presence isn't wanted here. And that goes for you too, Zander," the Aussie said. Zander glared at Jax. "I'm here for Carly, not to please you," he said. At this, Jax let out a laugh. "Right, right. Carly's staunch supporter. Doesn't it bother you that her long lost boy toy is back?" he asked the dark-haired man. Jason held his position as he watched Zander out of the corner of his eye.
"Does it bother you?" Zander asked Jax point blank.
"Excuse me?" Jax asked.
"It was common knowledge in some circles that you wanted her for awhile there as well. You know, trying to turn her into another Brenda..." Zander said. Jason inwardly winced as the anger on the Aussie's face became almost palpable.
"Watch it, Smith - you're about to cross a line you don't want to cross," he said, blue eyes blazing at the younger man. Zander shrugged.
"What does it matter anymore? You wanted Carly just as much as I did, only for different reasons. Too bad she wasn't a brunette, right?" he said with a hateful smile.
"I'm warning you," Jax gritted out. Again, Zander smiled.
"You don't have to. All I know was that you were using Carly just like every other piece of shit in this town. You may hate Sonny, but you treated her the exact same way he did - that goes for both of you," Zander said, crossing his arms and looking between Jason and Jax.
"Carly and I were friends," Jax said before Zander let out a loud laugh.
"Yeah. So was I - so was he," Zander said, pointing to Jason. "We all know what Carly did with her friends - so, did you get a piece of the action as well?" Jason had heard enough.
"You never know when to shut your mouth, do you Zander," he said stepping forward and taking his arm. Zander whipped his arm out of Jason's grip.
"Oh don't play the betrayed boyfriend now, Morgan," Zander sneered.
"I'm not playing anything! You've crossed the line by insulting Carly. Say whatever you want about me, but I don't want to hear you say things like that about her ever again," he said, the look of stone on his face portraying his seriousness. But Zander wasn't intimidated. He just laughed.
"A little late to be defending her honor, isn't it, Jason?" he said sadly, shrugging his way out of the taller man's grip. Straightening his jacket, he gave a last look to the two men in his presence and then walked out of the club. Silence ensued as Jason and Jax stood there, not knowing what to say. Neither of them liked the other, it wasn't a secret. But both of them liked Carly.
"You've still got your guys out looking for her, right?" Jason asked, knowing that neither man really believed Carly dead. Just like Bobbie, they were in denial as well. Jax just nodded, avoiding looking at Jason. It was a few seconds of strained silence again before Jax spoke.
"She loved you, Morgan. And it was her love for you that destroyed her the first time - you just weren't around when it did. She ended up loving Sonny because you gave her no choice. And her love for him destroyed her too. The only difference is, there is no way to fix it this time," Jax said.
"Don't you think I know that, Jax? Don't you think that I don't think about this every second of every day? I know that I probably won't ever be able to see her again and it kills me," Jason responded, more emotion in his voice than he intended. Jax looked at Jason, sad blue eyes meeting even sadder blue eyes.
"She was a wonderful woman… granted with a lot of faults, but she was wonderful all the same. And she was a wonderful mother. Michael was lucky to have her for his mother," Jax said, looking around the club before turning and walking back to the offices. Jason just stood there. He closed his eyes as a thought came to his head. Michael.
The Brownstone
"How's the little champ doing?" Scott Baldwin asked of Bobbie Spencer. Bobbie looked up from her perch on the couch. The tears had dried for now, but there was a look of fear upon her face. Fear of losing another child. She'd lost BJ in an accident. She wasn't going to lose Carly as well. Her daughter was alive. Alive, damn it! And she was going to come home. The thoughts brought tears to Bobbie's eyes again, but she took a deep breath and held them back.
"Michael is sleeping right now," she said, looking at the clock. It was a little past 9:30 in the evening.
"Does he know anything yet?" the blond man asked. Bobbie shook her head.
"I'm not sure what to tell him. Right now, he just knows that his mommy is gone. I'm not sure what Sonny wants to tell him," she said.
"I hate to bring this up, but what about a funeral?" Scott asked, taking Bobbie's hand gently in his. Bobbie shook her head.
"I really don't want to think about a funeral right now. I don't believe she's dead, Scott. How can I plan a funeral when I know my daughter is still alive?" she asked, turning to face Scott. The doorbell cut off any reply he could have made. Bobbie stood up with a sigh.
"If it's a reporter, I'm not responsible for what I might do," she grumbled. Scott stood up with her, squeezed her hand and pulled her with him towards the door. Scott opened the door and Bobbie's eyes widened in surprise.
"Jason!" she said before stepping forward and embracing him.
"Hi Bobbie," he said, hugging her back. "How are you holding up?" The redhead stepped back and gave him a small smile.
"Probably about as well as you," she said taking his arm and pulling him into the house. She looked up at him. On the surface, looking at Jason Morgan, you'd never be able to tell if anything was wrong. But she knew this man, and she knew his roller-coaster history with her daughter. He was a wreck. After giving her a small smile back, he looked up.
"Morgan," Scott greeted. Jason nodded.
"Baldwin," he answered. The two men didn't like each other much - but it was expected from a lawyer and a mobster.
"Have you seen Sonny? How's he doing?" Bobbie asked.
"I saw him earlier. He's doing about as well as can be expected," Jason hedged. Bobbie nodded.
"I was hoping he would come see Michael today, but he didn't," she said. Jason took Bobbie's hand.
"How is Michael?" he asked, his eyes softening at the thought of his 'son'. Bobbie's smile widened.
"He's growing so much, Jason! You should see him! He's such a smart little kid, and cute as the devil. Carly's done so well with him," she said. At the mention of her daughter's name, Bobbie's face fell. Jason pulled her into another hug.
"Don't worry, Bobbie. We'll get this figured out. Jax and Sonny both have their men scouring the city. They'll find her," he said, not even implying that there was a chance they wouldn't. Bobbie nodded.
"I know, Jason. I have faith..." she said as she pulled back and wiped a stray tear from her eye.
"Do you want to go look in on Michael?" she asked. Jason nodded.
"Yeah, I'd like that," he said.
"Elizabeth is sitting with him right now. I think she just got him to sleep," she said. Jason nodded as he headed towards the stairs. He hadn't seen Michael in over a year. He'd checked up with a lot of the guards on how he was doing, but other than that… Jason opened the door quietly and walked slowly into the room. Jason put a finger up to his lips to signal quiet at the surprise in Elizabeth's eyes. She nodded as she disentangled herself from the sleeping little boy and stood up.
"Jason, what are you doing here?" she whispered. Jason just gave her a look.
"Right... Carly," she said with a bit of distaste. Ignoring the comment, Jason knelt down next to the bed so he could look at Michael. Bobbie had been right, he had grown a lot. Jason's eyes got uncharacteristically misty when he thought that his 'son' would never see his mother again. Michael stirred a bit, causing Jason to step back. After a second, he leaned back on the bed and laid a gentle kiss on Michael's forehead. Standing again, he nodded to Elizabeth and walked out of the room.
"Jason?" Elizabeth called to him as he descended the stairs. Jason took a deep breath before turning around. He liked Elizabeth Webber just fine - as a friend. But he couldn't help but be a little bit bitter over the fact that she was one of the reasons he lost these years with Carly to begin with. The night that he danced with her at Kelly's cost him more than she could ever replace.
"What Elizabeth?" he asked. If she was surprised at his tone of voice, she didn't show it.
"I was wondering if you wanted to talk, or something," she said, reaching the stair that he was on and laying a hand on his arm. Jason looked down at her hand and then back up at her.
"Maybe another time, Elizabeth. I've got a lot of things to do tonight," he said. He had really no intention of searching her out later. She nodded and watched as Jason made his way into the Spencer living room to continue grieving a woman that she, Elizabeth, had no clue why people missed. Carly Roberts-Benson-Spencer-Quartermaine-Corinthos certainly didn't deserve all of this concern. Port Charles was a better place without her from Elizabeth's point of view. Jason cast one last look up the stairs before he went to find Carly's mother again.
"Hey, Bobbie. I'm going to head over to the PC Hotel for now. Here's my number in case you hear anything or need anything," Jason said handing her his cell phone number. Bobbie took it and looked up at the man.
"You can stay here, if you need to Jason. Carly's room is upstairs next to Michael's," she offered. Jason smiled at her as he took her hand in his.
"I don't think I could handle that right now," he said honestly. Bobbie smiled and nodded.
"I didn't think you would, but I wanted to offer all the same. Carly would have my head if I didn't," she said. Jason nodded before leaning over and kissing her cheek.
"Thank you, Bobbie," he said. With a sigh, the older woman crossed her arms across her chest in a self-hug gesture.
"Sonny called," she said, looking at the young man next to her. He looked over at her.
"Yeah?" he asked. Bobbie looked down at the floor and hugged herself tighter. Scott put a reassuring arm around her.
"He wants to talk about funeral plans," she almost choked out. Jason was silent for a few seconds.
"Does that mean he took his men off of the search?" he asked softly, denying it in his head but knowing it was true. Bobbie nodded an affirmative. Jason sighed as he rubbed a hand over his face.
"Damn it!" he exclaimed suddenly, shocking both Scott and Bobbie by the burst of emotion. Jason whipped out his cell phone and dialed. "Johnny! Yeah, I just heard, man. What the hell is he thinking? We haven't proved anything yet. I know there's DNA evidence. That evidence could have been fixed. I know Carly, and she would fight this with everything in her… I know, Johnny… but I don't feel it. Good. Great. Call me if someone gets something." Jason hung up and turned to Bobbie. She had a look of gratitude on her face.
"Jason, Carly is my daughter. I don't know her half as well as you probably do, and I still don't feel that she is gone. Hearing you say that you don't think she is either… now I'm positive she's still alive," she said. Jason smiled in reassurance.
"Carly is the dirtiest fighter I know. She wouldn't let something like this get her. Anyways, Johnny told me that Sonny took everyone off, but some of the guards - well, they liked Carly. So they've been doing their own search in their time off, Johnny taking the lead," he said. Bobbie nodded.
"Please thank them for me for taking such good care of Carly, okay?" she asked pulling Jason into a hug.
"I will," he promised.
"Good. Now, you go get some sleep," she ordered. Jason nodded and with a quick look at Scott, he left. Bobbie watched Jason leave from the window with a sad face.
"Oh, Carly," she said sadly.
The Penthouse - the next day
"What?" Jason said incredulously as he stood just inside the penthouse doorway.
"Bobbie and I have talked things over and..." Sonny started.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard you. I just don't get it. Do you really think she's dead?" Jason asked his friend. Sonny shrugged.
"Jason, I don't really know what to think. There's DNA evidence, there was a body. What else am I suppose to think? I don't want her to be dead just as much as you do… she was my wife, Jason. How could I want her to be dead?" Sonny said, extending an arm out.
"Ex-wife, Sonny. She was your ex-wife," Jason felt inclined to point out. The mobster's head popped up to glare at Jason.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked suspiciously.
"Whatever you want it to mean," Jason said with a shrug. Sonny's eyes narrowed.
"You blame me, don't you? You blame me for Carly being dead," he said.
"Carly's not dead! You can say it as much as you want, you can talk her mother into it as much as you want, and you can have as many funeral services as you want, but that doesn't mean she's dead. And fuck yes, I blame you!" Jason exploded. Sonny's surprise was written all over his face.
"You were supposed to take care of her, Sonny. You promised me that you would take care of her - and what's the first thing I find when I get back here? She's been in an accident. Due to your selfishness, your stubbornness and your stupidity! I don't want to think she's dead for two reasons. The first being that I don't ever want to think about not seeing her again. And the second, I don't want to hate you." Sonny's face became a mask of stone at Jason's words.
"You can think whatever you want, Jason," he said. Jason let out a bitter laugh.
"Damn right I can think whatever I want. I don't need your permission. In case you haven't noticed, I am able to think for myself without orders..." Jason said. Sonny looked up at him.
"That wasn't what I meant," he said, his eyes softening, referring to the permanent brain damage caused by the accident years before.
"I know that, Sonny. But let's be honest here, okay. Yes, I blame you. And if you admit it, I'm right in that blame. You didn't want to let Carly go, but you couldn't forgive her - meaning you couldn't be together despite the fact that you loved her and she loved you. You strung her along, Sonny," Jason said. Sonny laughed outright and pointed to Jason.
"I wouldn't start throwing that around, Jason. You... you did the exact same thing to her for years," he said. Jason's face stayed in the same emotionless state it usually was in.
"But I let her go, Sonny. I walked her down the aisle to marry you, and then I left so that the two of you could be happy. I let her go and I let her move on - as much as I hated it, I did it anyway. I don't think you can say the same," Jason said. Sonny shook his head.
"This whole mess is just typical Carly. She does things before she thinks… it always gets her in trouble," he said.
"So, is that what makes you feel better? It that how you get through this? Throw the blame back at Carly? This is Carly's fault?" Jason said, astonished at his friend's way of thinking.
"Of course it's Carly's fault! I'm not saying I'm not to blame either, but everything she's done in the past has led up to this! She... she acts without thinking. She lets emotion... rule her actions. She's hurt everyone in the past - and now she's finally hurt herself!" he finished on a sigh. Jason was angry - very angry. But he couldn't do anything about it.
"Fuck you, Sonny. Fuck you and your blame. Carly's gone - but when's she's back, you'll be eating every one of those words because as much as she may have loved you, I don't think she'll forgive you. Ironic isn't it?" Jason asked before slamming his way out of the penthouse and out of the building.
Queen of Angels Church - the next day
Droves of people were filing into the church. It was a hastily put together service, but no one would have noticed. Jason stood at the back of the church watching everyone find his or her seats. Sonny sat up in the front with his father, Mike, by his side. Jason gritted his teeth as he thought about yesterday's conversation. Turning, he watched as the guards came in to pay their respects to Carly.
He shook his head as Dr. Tony Jones walked in, followed immediately by police commissioner Mac Scorpio, his family, and Detective Taggert. At least AJ had enough brain to know not to show up here - so far. Jason rolled his eyes as that thought came too soon. In walked Alan, Monica, and Edward Quartermaine. It was a wonder why they even showed up. Edward probably just wanted to make sure Carly was dead so they could get their hands on Michael.
Soft music was playing, and Jason had to try hard to keep the sneer off of his face. Carly would have hated this. In fact, should she walk in at this very moment, she'd laugh at everybody for even being here. Hypocrites. All of them. Only here to either prove her dead or to be splashed on a newspaper. Jason looked to the door, half expecting her to walk in - only to be completely disappointed, if not disgusted, when Alexis Davis walked in the door... and right to the front where Sonny was sitting. Friend and lawyer, my ass, Jason thought. Carly would have said the exact same thing. There was a tug at his heart when he thought that.
"Jason?" a voice asked. He turned to face Elizabeth.
"Liz," he acknowledged.
"Are you going to go sit?" she asked, almost hopefully. Jason shook his head.
"I don't think so. I'm probably going to stay right here," he said, indicating his spot near the door.
"Then I'll stay with you," she said, standing next to him. Jason sighed inwardly know that he wasn't going to be able to get rid of her as easily as he thought. Ever since her breakup with Lucky, she'd latched onto him when she first laid eyes on him. It was getting bothersome. He looked to his left and saw Bobbie enter on her brother Luke's arm. She saw him and smiled.
"Thanks for coming Jason," she said. "I know that this is as hard for you to accept as it is for me." Jason nodded as he hugged her. He knew they were burying a body today that was not Carly. Bobbie was on a roller coaster of emotions, and he couldn't blame her for going through with this.
"I don't accept it, though," he said. Bobbie hugged him tighter.
"Neither do I, not when I really sit down to think about it," she whispered into his ear before she released him. Their eyes met and he nodded to her.
"Come, sit by me Elizabeth," Bobbie said, taking the girl's hand and smiling at Jason. Elizabeth looked a bit bewildered, but shook it off as she smiled to Jason and followed Bobbie to the front of the church. More people came and surprisingly, the church was full. The service started, and Jason prepared himself to listen.
It seemed like eternity before the service was finally over and Jason sat in the front pew of the now empty church. His heart ached for some reason. It was probably because of the words Luke had said at the end before leading Bobbie out of the church.
Caroline could handle anything. She was a survivor. She'd survived things any normal woman couldn't. I could say it was because she was a Spencer - it's true, in part. But more than anything, it was because she was Caroline - Carly. She was my niece, my blood, and part of me - the part glutton for punishment - wishes that I had treated her like that. Just like I'm sure there is a part of everyone in this room that wishes they had known her better as well. She was an amazing woman - a determined woman. But even survivors can only survive so much.
It had amazed Jason to no end that such a heartfelt speech could come from a man such as Luke. It was almost as crazy as he himself getting up and saying something as poetic. But then, Luke was full of surprises. Rubbing a hand over his face, he stood up. He knew in his heart that Carly wasn't gone - but there was always that niggling little piece of brain that told him she just might be. And at moments like this, that little piece of the brain took over. He looked at the picture of a smiling Carly sitting up front. He felt that ache again, and he reached up to touch his chest as if to rub it away.
Closing his eyes, he turned and walked down the aisle to the back of the church. People were still there, staying behind in order to talk to Bobbie or just to chat. Finding his way out the door, he had the urge to cry. But there were people there, watching him… waiting for him to crack. But Jason Morgan would not crack. Carly was alive, and he would find her. She had to be alive. Stoically walking past the onlookers outside the church, he found his way back to the cemetery as his brain warred with his heart. Carly had to be alive and he wasn't just trying to convince himself of that… right? After looking around, he knew he was alone and sat down on a bench. The brain took over and his heart began to break. Years of silence, anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness and love… it all came to this one moment. Jason Morgan put his face in his hands and let the tears run freely down his face.
Two nights later - The PC Hotel
It had taken him a full four hours of tossing and turning to finally get to sleep. He'd spent the entire day with Johnny, Francis and Reynaldo searching along side Jax's men. They'd found nothing, of course. They'd continued on until well past midnight - and when Jason's head hit the pillow later, his thoughts were consumed by Carly. He wanted so badly to find her and bring her home... especially after that moment of doubt in the cemetery. He couldn't let himself doubt. But, other people were. Maybe the body pulled from the lake really was Carly. Jason wanted to deny all of those thoughts, to yell at them that Carly was strong and alive, but after a week of searching and three days after the DNA discovery, people were finally starting to believe - especially after the funeral. Jason's eyes had just started to drift closed when his cell phone rang. Looking over at the clock, it said 4:54am. Frowning, he picked up the phone.
"Morgan," he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Jason! It's Bobbie …" the woman said, obvious tears in her voice. Jason sat up and his heart almost stopped. Michael…
"Bobbie! What's wrong?" he asked, panic sitting on the edge of his brain.
"Jason..." she said. He felt sick to his stomach. "We were right. They found her..." she said softly.
General Hospital
Jason ran through the hospital doors, Sonny close on his heels. He'd arrived right after Jason did. Thankfully Bobbie had called Jason first and let him know which floor she was on. Sonny went immediately to the front desk to find out which way to go. Jason used his advantage and ran to the stairway. Skipping every other step he made his way to the third floor. He took a deep breath as he opened the door and stepped into the hallway.
Looking to his left, he spotted Bobbie by the nurse's station. Walking slowly, his heart was pounding. Not from the exertion of running up the stairs, but from fear. What if it wasn't her? What if it was a mistake? He tried to glean information from Bobbie's stance, but her back was turned to him and he couldn't see the emotion on her face. She was leaning against the desk. Was it in relief? Or disappointment? Was she alive? Did she make it? Jason could feel the blood pounding in his head. As he stood only five feet from an unaware Bobbie, he turned to his right to see inside the ICU unit. His muscles, tight from the exhaustion, worry and frustration, suddenly failed to hold him up as he leaned hard against the station desk. Bobbie, hearing him, turned.
"Jason! Are you all right?" she asked, rushing over to him and helping him stand. She put a hand to his head to check. Jason put his hand over hers.
"I'm fine Bobbie..." he said, looking towards the room again. He heaved a heavy sigh as Bobbie's hand fell from his forehead and turned to look with him.
"We were so close to giving up," he said softly. Carly's mother turned to him, eyes full of relief and a smile gracing her tired face.
"I know. My daughter is a Spencer - we should have figured she'd survive somehow," she said, looking back to where her daughter was laying.
"You know, she'll never forgive us for almost thinking her dead," Jason said with a small smile and a shake of his head, eyes still peeled on the blond woman behind the glass. Bobbie let out a small chuckle.
"You're right. Either that or she'll be pissed she missed her own funeral..." Bobbie continued to laugh. Jason could only nod a relieved smile on his usually stoic face.
"C'mere you," Bobbie said with an outright laugh, pulling the man her daughter had loved so fiercely into a tight hug. Jason returned the embrace wholeheartedly.
"So, she's alive?" a voice asked. Bobbie and Jason stepped back to see a stricken Sonny standing a few feet away. Bobbie smiled and pointed to the window. She watched as her daughter's ex-husband curiously peeked through and his best friend glared daggers at him. Confused, she turned to Jason and touched his arm. When his blue eyes met her brown ones, she nodded her head to Sonny with question in her eyes. Jason shook his head. If Bobbie didn't know what happened, then it wasn't his place to tell her. He had to respect Carly's wishes.
"Can we see her at all?" Jason asked the redheaded woman softly. Bobbie turned her attention back to him with a small smile.
"Of course! It's after visiting hours, but I'm her mother as well as her nurse, so go on in… she'd want you in there anyways. Did she know you were back before - well - before?" Bobbie asked, not wanting to really acknowledge the accident. Jason shook his head.
"No, she didn't. I didn't come back until Johnny called with the DNA results," he said. Bobbie nodded.
"That's still something we're going to need to figure out. I don't know how that happened or why someone would want to do it," she said, looking back at her sleeping daughter.
"I think I have an idea as to whom… and probably why as well," Jason said, crossing his arms.
"AJ," Sonny stated as he walked over to the two. Jason nodded at the mention of his brother's name.
"My God! What AJ wouldn't do to get Michael back. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind when I see him next. In fact, I'll give him a piece of my mind as soon as I get off my shift!" Bobbie exclaimed angrily. Sonny laid a hand on her arm.
"Don't do anything yet, Bobbie. We're not sure it was him - and if it was, we don't want to scare him off or give him a heads up that we know," he said. Jason gritted his teeth but kept silent. As much as he wanted to shoot his older brother, Jason knew Sonny was right. Bobbie nodded.
"I know," she said forlornly. "I just don't get how he can get away with stuff like this all the time. He's tortured Carly enough."
"He's a Quartermaine, Bobbie - he can get away with murder if the price is right," Sonny said. All of a sudden, Bobbie sucked in a breath as a thought came to her. Both men looked at her with concern.
"You don't think that he caused this accident, do you? I mean, he didn't have to drive her off the road himself, but he could get someone else to do it. Carly being dead would give him a good stake in a custody hearing," she said, walking up to the ICU window and crossing her arms and looking in on her helpless daughter.
"AJ is capable of anything. I think we learned this a long time ago," Jason said coldly. Bobbie laid a sympathetic hand on his arm. It was no secret how Jason Quartermaine became Jason Morgan. And it was no secret that the night AJ's drunken stupidity crashed the car into a tree had caused a bit of 'strain' between the now former brothers. Nor was it a secret that that strain had become out and out hatred of each other the night that Carly married AJ while she was still in love with Jason.
"I'm sorry, Jason," Bobbie said.
"There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm certainly not. If I had stayed Jason Quartermaine, I wouldn't be where I am today, and I would have never met Carly. But that's not the point. We should really talk about this some other time, and somewhere else," he said.
"Good point there, Morgan," a voice said from behind them. They all turned to see the weary face of Luke Spencer. "Wouldn't want the Quartermaines to hear you plotting their demise in their home territory. Didn't know you were back in town to stay, Jason." Jason shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah, well - I'm here where I'm needed," was all Jason said. Luke looked past the group into the hospital room where Carly lay.
"Same old, same old. Sweet Caroline gets herself into a pickle and you come a-calling to put the pieces back together again," he said eyeing Jason. Taking a good look at the woman hooked up to machines, he sighed. "Holy hell, girl. You look like shit. Well, we were close. Almost got rid of you for good."
"Luke," Bobbie hissed. Luke turned to his sister with a smirk.
"What, little sister? You know my hell-in-a-hand basket niece and I don't get along..." he said.
"Yeah, because you're both stubborn, pig-headed, spontaneous, act-before- you-think, devil-may-care -" Bobbie ranted. Luke put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her temple.
"Okay, okay, okay. I get your point. Caroline and I are a lot alike. I know that..." he said, smirking at her again. He turned back to the window. "I may not like her all that much, but she's still blood. And when someone messes with blood, they mess with me. You guys sure Junior did this?" he asked.
"Of course AJ did this. He's the only one with any benefit from Carly's 'death'," Sonny said.
"Well, I think a lot of people in this town would benefit from her 'death', but I know with you three, that's a point to be argued," he said. "How's business, boys?" Sonny and Jason looked at each other before shrugging - Sonny looking a bit uncomfortable.
"I don't think this was business. Roscoe threatened Carly back in December, but other than that, I haven't heard of anyone targeting Carly," Sonny said.
"Oh, look. It's the 'We Love Carly' gathering," a gravelly voice said from behind them. Bobbie rolled her eyes before she turned to face the white-haired old man.
"What do you want Edward?" she asked. Edward Quartermaine took in the four faces, his gaze lingering longer on Jason.
"Why, I'm here to give my support to that lovely young woman in there. I mean, little Michael would be so lost without her wonderful guidance," he said with a smarmy smile. Jason's jaw tightened as he stepped forward. Luke intercepted him before he could pound the sarcastic smile off his senile face.
"Whoa there, Tiger," Luke said. The brief look of trepidation on Edward's face was replaced with a frown.
"You keep that useless, brain-dead ruffian away from me," he said, pointing angrily at his grandson. Sonny just shook his head.
"Watch it there, Grandpa, or I'll let this 'ruffian' have his way with you. Then I'll get the leftovers," Luke said, shooting a glare at Edward. After huffing for a few seconds and glaring one more time, Edward finally turned and walked away.
"The day the Quartermaines care about something other than their power and their money is a day I'd like to call the Apocalypse," Luke grumbled as he patted Jason on the shoulder.
"I thought that was the day you'd welcome Carly into the family with open arms and a smile on your face," Jason said, a serious expression on his face until Luke burst out laughing. The smirks on the two men's faces were almost identical.
"It ranks right up there as a close second. Don't let it be said that you don't have a sense of humor, kid," Luke said happily slapping Jason on the back. "So, Barbara Jean. Is she going to be sprung from the joint anytime soon?" Luke asked his sister, sobering quickly and nodding towards Carly. Bobbie looked again to her daughter, along with Jason and Sonny.
"Well, the accident caused a lot of abrasions and contusions. There may be a slight concussion; a couple of broken ribs - but nothing else seems to be broken. And after God knows how many days of wandering, she's got a slight case of hypothermia. She hasn't regained consciousness since she was brought in, but that may be due to exhaustion and shock. So, we're going to watch her closely for the next few days. We're hoping she'll come out of it when she's ready," Bobbie said, ending on a sigh.
Four days later
Jason sat. Just like he had for the past four days. Bobbie had come in and out in her worry for both her daughter and the man planted in the chair by her bedside. He held Carly's hand and talked to her, asking, pleading for her to wake up. Every once in a while, he would slip in an order hoping she'd wake up and fight with him over him telling her what to do. But she didn't. She didn't move at all.
Sonny had stopped by a few times. It was obvious that he felt uncomfortable being there. Zander had come as well. A truce had been formed without him or Jason speaking. They both wanted Carly to get well, so they tolerated each other's presence for that sole purpose. But now, he was alone with her. He held onto her hand tighter and interlaced his fingers with her limp ones. He laid his head on the side of the bed, looking up at her.
"Come on Carly, you've got to wake up. Michael was here today. He was a little scared - but at least they took you off some of the machines. Otherwise he would have been more scared. He wants you to wake up. I want you to wake up. We all want you to wake up," he said earnestly as he brought her hand up to his lips to kiss it. He turned his head to look out the window. The sun was just going down for the night. He rested his head against his arm on the bed, keeping a hold of Carly's hand. After nights of restless sleep or no sleep, his eyelids felt heavy. Before he knew it, he was unconscious to the world.
Her eyes felt heavy... now that she thought about it more, her whole body felt heavy. Visions of water - lots of water - ran behind her closed eyelids. Opening them slowly, her eyes adjusted slowly to the dark in the room. She wasn't sure what happened or what led her to be where she was. Slowly, as she regained consciousness, memories flooded back.
Michael. Birthday card. Sonny, Alexis, Zander... the car... the lake...
She tried to bring her hand up to her face but realized that something had her hand. Looking down, she saw someone holding onto it, his face turned away. It wasn't Sonny, that's for sure - not that she wanted Sonny there holding her hand. All of a sudden, it hit her. She sucked in a breath when she recognized the short, light-brown hair. She would know it anywhere… Jason! Tears came to her eyes. Jason was there. With her. Holding her hand. She reached her other hand over to caress the hand that held hers. She closed her eyes, relishing the fact that her best friend, the man that she would always love with her whole being, was in the same room as her. She opened her eyes again to find his beautiful blue eyes watching her as if he hadn't just been asleep.
"Carly?" his voice broke the silence. It was a beautiful voice. One she thought that she'd never hear again. She let it wash over her for a second before she reached her hand up to touch his cheek.
"Jase," she said hoarsely. He leaned into her hand, bringing his other hand up to hold hers there. Those two words - each other's names - were the only thing spoken for a long while.
"Are you okay?" Jason finally asked. Carly chuckled softly.
"I hurt all over, but other than that, I'm fine," she said. Jason smiled at her. He stood up and kissed her on the forehead gently, avoiding the bruising.
"Your mother's on the night shift tonight. I'd better go tell her you're awake," he said. When he made it to the door, he paused and looked back at her. She gave him a warm smile as she made herself more comfortable in bed. He smiled back before turning and making his way down the hall.
"Carly?" Bobbie called from the door. Jason watched as Carly's eyes opened and she smiled at her mother.
"Hi, Momma," she said softly. Bobbie rushed to her daughter and enveloped her in a gentle hug.
"Carly, Carly. You had us all worried, baby," she said, still in the hug.
"Yeah, uh huh," Carly said, pulling back. "Us all meaning you and Jason, right?" she finished with a wink in Jason's direction. Bobbie laughed as she looked back to where Jason stood.
"You'd be surprised. Luke was here. Lucky stopped by as well as Zander and Jax. The flowers over there are from Laura and Lulu. Michael visited and we had to drag him away from you. Sonny stops in every day. And not to put a damper on your well wishes - Edward stopped by as well as Monica and Alan," Bobbie listed off. Carly let out a large, bitter laugh causing both Jason and Bobbie to narrow their eyes in concern at her.
"Right… well-wishes. Luke was here to finally send off his troublesome, pain in the ass niece. Lucky, well, he probably couldn't care less. Zander, he came to check on me because of his obligation to Sonny. Jax was only concerned because he's invested a lot of money into me. Laura and Lulu sent flowers to make you feel better. Sonny stopped by to make sure I'm leaving his made-to-order life alone. And the Quartermaines? It wouldn't surprise me if they tried to kill me in my sleep in order to take Michael back to that hellhole of a three ring circus they call a home. And you two are here out of some sort of obligation to me - you know - the mother and the best friend..." she rambled off. Bobbie put a hand on her daughter's shoulder to stop her.
"Honey, that's not why they were here. They care about you. I mean, you make it hard to care about you sometimes, but that doesn't mean they don't," she consoled. A tear made its way down Carly's cheek. Bobbie reached up to wipe it away as Jason sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand.
"You know, the only thoughts that went through my head before the car hit the water were about how alone I felt and that I hope somebody would take care of Michael… not for me, but for him," she said, her eyes cast downward. They weren't the only thoughts she had - but Jason was sitting right there, holding her hand. She wasn't going to say anything to muck up that miracle.
"Michael wouldn't be happy without his mommy, Carly. He loves you and depends on you being there," Bobbie reassured her daughter. She reached over and poured a glass of water and handed it to Carly, who took it gratefully. Silence fell.
"Carly?" a voice said from the doorway. All three people on the bed looked up to see Sonny standing in the doorway. Carly turned her face away to hide the tears that came to her eyes. She remembered. She remembered everything. Bobbie looked at her daughter, and then looked at Sonny. After everything, Carly should have been ecstatic that her ex-husband was standing in the doorway like a remorseful child. She then peeked a look at Jason - his jaw had gone noticeably tighter in anger. Bobbie was now very curious.
"Can we talk, Carly?" Sonny asked in a pleading voice.
"No," was Carly's firm answer.
"Please, Carly?" he asked again.
"I don't want to see you," Carly said through clenched teeth.
"Carly, I'm trying to apologize," he said holding a hand out.
"You don't have anything to apologize for because I no longer care," she said, looking straight at him. Sonny sighed.
"Listen…" he started.
"No! You listen! I am sick and tired of your little leash game. You think that you can keep me hanging on - until what? It's a better time for you? You've let me suffer enough? I don't know what your reasoning behind all of that was - and now I don't care. The second I saw you in bed with your little lawyer I knew that you weren't worth my time or effort anymore," Carly said. Bobbie's eyes went wide at the revelation that Sonny had slept with Alexis. The look on Jason's face told Bobbie that he already knew.
"Carly, I love you. We can work through this," Sonny said, looking at Carly earnestly.
"Get out," Carly said.
"But..." he started but was cut off by Carly throwing her glass of water towards the door.
"I said get out!" she almost screamed. Sonny looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded and turned to leave.
"Carly, honey. Are you okay?" Bobbie asked, taking her daughter's hand as she looked blankly out the door. A few stray tears made their way down her still pale cheek.
"It's over. It's finally done," she said quietly.
"Honey, Sonny loves you," Bobbie said, quickly looking at Jason out of the corner of her eye before looking back at Carly. She knew Jason loved Carly - and she knew Carly loved Jason. But Sonny loved Carly too - and, well, part of Carly loved Sonny as well. Triangles were never easy. Especially with the history the three of them shared.
"We're divorced, Mama. And we're going to stay that way. He can try to work as many things out as he needs to, but I'm not going to give on this. He couldn't give me the one thing, other than love, that I wanted most," she said. Bobbie tilted her head to the side a bit in question. Carly sighed.
"Respect, Mama. Just respect. I thought I had that when I saw him at my club opening, but I was obviously wrong," she said. Bobbie nodded sadly as she smoothed Carly's hair back from her forehead.
"I understand that, Carly. Now… I'm going to go get a doctor to check you out. With all the excitement, we seem to have forgotten the fact that you were in a major car accident and just woke up..." she said, smiling down at her daughter. Carly laughed. Carly made a shooing motion with her hands.
"Go, go. Do your motherly thing and bring a man in a white coat back with you," she said. Bobbie grinned at her daughter and Jason before she turned to go get a doctor. Carly looked at Jason, who smiled down at her.
"Hey there, stranger," he said, running a hand over her face, lingering slightly over the large bruise on her forehead. Carly smiled back as he touched her cheek.
"So. When did you get into town?" she asked, leaning into his hand.
"Well, I got this call a while ago, see? And they said that my best friend got herself into another mess - and - well, you know me. I couldn't resist coming to fix it for her," he said. Carly laughed.
"Don't you ever get sick of cleaning up my messes?" she asked. Jason moved closer to her as his hand slipped down to hold hers.
"Carly..." he didn't know what to say. Or, rather, he did - he just didn't know how to say it. Carly reached up with her free hand and ran a finger over his cheek.
"Don't worry about it, Jason. I get sick of my messes too," she said with a smile and settling back in the bed.
"It's not what you think, Carly. I don't get sick of helping you. Messes are a part of your life. It's what you do. You don't mean it a lot of the time, but they come with you anyways. It's who you are, Carly. And I accept that. Just like how you accept who I am. I know that… I know you. I wouldn't change a thing," he said. Carly nodded as she looked at him.
God, Jase. That's why I love you, she thought as she pulled him into a hug. Jason closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. Carly did the same.
"Well, it looks like everything's going to be okay. No permanent damage. We're going to keep you here for the next day or two just in case, but I think after that, you'll be well enough to be let loose," Dr. Tony Jones proclaimed after looking Carly over. It was almost 6 o'clock in the morning and Jason had to hold back a yawn. He watched the interaction between doctor, nurse, and patient. If any of them were uncomfortable at the situation, none of them showed it. It wasn't often that the former husband of Ms. Bobbie Spencer was in the same room as the very woman who broke up the marriage in the first place. And from the look of it, Dr. Jones just looked grateful that his former stepdaughter/fiancée was okay.
"That sounds great, Tony," Bobbie said as she smoothed the hair back from her daughter's forehead.
"What about my memory, Tony?" Carly asked, clutching her mother's hand. Dr. Jones looked down at the chart in his hands.
"Well, it seems that you have only had trouble with the short term memory - and the fact that you really have no memory of the events after the accident is really no surprise to any of us. It was a traumatic experience - you'll remember when you are ready to, Carly. Don't worry about it," he reassured her. Carly nodded.
"Okay, so, I'm not going to have problems in my head or anything, right?" she asked.
"No more so than you already have, Carly," Jason said from beside her. Carly looked over at him with narrowed eyes.
"Who are you and what have you done to Jason Morgan?" she asked at his teasing statement. Jason shrugged before he leaned down and kissed her temple.
"Hey, I'm entitled," he said. Tony smiled at both of them.
"Like I said before - no permanent damage. You can rest easy, Carly," he said before he left the room. Carly let out a sigh.
"Well, at least I'm not going to be any crazier than normal," she said. Bobbie let out a laugh as she squeezed Carly's hand.
"We wouldn't have you any other way," she said with love. Carly let out a snort.
"Riiiight," she said.
"Well, daughter of mine - I'm going to do my early morning rounds before I can clock out. Then, I'm going to feed your son breakfast and bring him to visit his mother. He's been wanting to see you again," Bobbie said.
"It'll be a surprise for him to see you're awake," Jason said to Carly. Carly just smiled.
"I feel like I haven't seen him in forever," she said as she settled back into the bed.
"You should probably get some sleep. You know, prepare yourself for Michael. He's going to want to tell you everything later..." Jason said. Carly reached out and took his hand.
"You should get some sleep too. He's going to want to tell you everything as well," she said on a slight yawn.
"Don't worry about me," he said while standing up. He walked towards the door and shut off the light. Carly felt the panic rise in her.
"Are you leaving?" she asked, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. Jason crossed the room and sat back down in the chair next to the bed.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said as he took her hand. She tugged his hand until he sat on the edge of the bed.
"Good. Then you can get some sleep, too," she said pulling him down beside her on the bed.
"Carly…" he protested as she moved over to make room for him.
"Shut up, Jason. You look like the walking dead - probably worse than I do because you haven't had unconsciousness helping you out some. Now lie down and stop coming up with excuses to sit in that God-awful chair you know you don't want to sit in," she said as she arranged to covers around his legs. Giving in, he helped Carly get situated on her side as she curled into him. He followed suit as he wrapped an arm over her waist and watched her struggle to stay awake.
"Go to sleep, Carly," he ordered.
"Ordering me around again - man, you must have missed me," she said on a yawn. "I just want to make sure you don't escape."
"I told you I wasn't going anywhere," he reassured for what seemed like the millionth time.
"You'd better not. And as for your orders - you can stick them where…" she started to retort until he put his hand over her mouth.
"Sleep?" he asked rather than ordered. She narrowed her eyes at him before she nodded. She closed her eyes and the two of them settled into a comfortable silence. As Carly's breath evened out into sleep, Jason tightened his arms around her, holding her closer. Closing his eyes, he thanked every lucky star and Supreme Being he could that she was alive and okay. He reached up and brushed a stray hair from her cheek causing her to smile slightly in her sleep.
He really didn't know how he walked away from her time and time again. Or maybe he did. It was because he knew that he could always come back and that she would always be there. Sitting in the dark, holding her… he knew that he'd taken her for granted. Especially during the whole Robin fiasco. The problem was, he thought he'd loved Robin. At least that's what Robin kept telling him. That and that his feelings for Carly were wrong. If only he'd realized earlier that Carly was a part of him, maybe things wouldn't have turned out the way they did. Cutting Carly out of his life was like cutting a piece of himself out. It had taken her close call with death for that point to finally hit home.
All the time he was traveling, it took every ounce of his will to keep from driving right back to Port Charles. To run back to Carly and Michael - to make them his family. But, as usual, he was too little too late. Things had finally started to look up for him and Carly when Elizabeth and Sonny shot everything to hell. And instead of staying to fight for Carly and their feelings for each other, he left. And when he came back - well, he had been an idiot to think Carly and Sonny would last. So, Jason gave her to him. And ran away again instead of staying to actually see if Carly was happy. So many things happened between that moment and where they were now. But he was sure of one thing at least. Laying his head down next to hers, feeling her breath on his cheek, Jason knew that he wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't going anywhere that she wasn't. He was here to stay.