Never Wanted It To Be This Way

By: Jamie

Jamie: Ok, well we're winding down to the last couple chapters. I know it's sad, but how far can this story, so brace yourself, we're winding down.

Feudal Era

Kagome's small body was curled up again Inu Yasha's, his arm was wrapped tightly, and protectively around her shoulders. He felt more in control of his emotions, now that he knew that they were devoted to each other.

"Inu Yasha," Kagome couldn't hold the question back any longer, "What about Kikiyo?"

Inu Yasha was surprised by the question, and searched for an answer in his head.

"What about her?" was all he could think of.

"Every time she comes back, it's kind of like, you want to go back to her," she sighed into his chest, "If we're together now, are your feelings for her different?"

Inu Yasha couldn't stand Kikiyo. He never really thought of her coming back again. It had been so recently that that had almost kissed, and she pulled away.

"I don't think I would go back to her now," Inu Yasha said plainly. Kagome understood though, before he toggled between two romances, neither of those two crushes being definite. But now, he had a fixed love, like contract, that he would have to stick to for years. But to him, it wasn't a contract, to him this was the most realistic love ever. For him, it wasn't an obligation, it was a desire. He wanted Kagome, and she wanted him, if it weren't physically, it was mentally. She smiled into Haori, the Tetusaiga the only thing keeping them apart.

But Kagome wasn't sure. Was this love, was this being faithful, was this true? She didn't know if this love could even last. Toggling between two worlds, living in a secret romance, hiding. It sounded so pleasurable now, but when it came to having pride, being honest, was this the right thing? Could she live like this, a love, school, family and collecting jewel shards?

That was why Kagome saw the Tetusaiga between the two, as a metaphor of her life. Forever something would keep them separate, until they conquered it. Firstly, being the Tetusaiga. The Tetusaiga was ultimate was ultimate power, it was how they had managed to retrieve so many jewels. As it lay between them, Kagome realize it was also slicing them apart. They could never be together while defeating demons.

Secondly, she was human, he was half demon. What would the results of that be? If they did become "mates" as Inu Yasha called it, what would their kids look like? She was only seventeen! And, if they were "mates" where would they live? Would her life switch to living in Inu Yasha's time 5 days, and her time on weekends? And school, how would she manage this?

But for now, in Inu Yasha's arms, she couldn't help but listen to his breath. Could he smell her anxiety? Could feel her heart beating like a drum against her ribcage? Was she that obvious?

Kagome pulled closer against him, holding him tighter. She wanted him to now the angst she felt. She wanted him to know she was worried. But everything felt so right, even though it was so sudden.

"I love you Inu Yasha," she said softly against the red kimono. He was taken by surprise, he loved her too. But was this just a crush? No. It was more.

"I umm-" he bit his lip, nervous at what to answer. He hadn't really loved anyone before, besides Kikiyo. If he said he loved her, would that be lead to him being even more hurt in the end? He hoped for no end, but still he was weary.

"I like you too," he said softly.

"I don't like you," she frowned as she knelt next to him, staring at his well built form, "I love you."

He stared up at her, finally grabbing her by the waist and forcing her on top of him. She sat on his tummy, staring down at him, each knee by one of his waist. She stared down at him, at first shocked, but then tears formed in her eyes.

"What did I do now?!" he yelled. When she cried he knew he was wrong. But he seemed to always be wrong, and was punished by a sob or a sit boy.

"I don't think it's right," she cried into her small hands.

"What?!" he groaned. The moon was the only light for them. It reflected on the deep lake, and gave them a minimum amount of lighting. But now, as they lay on the riverbank, the moon reflected off her soft tears. Inu Yasha sighed, feeling a pang of guilt in his heart.

"Why?" he said softly, and apologetically. Kagome slowly began to stop crying. Now she felt guilty, for worrying him. This had been so perfect and then she had began to decipher the situation. Why was she as stupid as to start thinking about it. She had craved this planning out what their romance would be like, and now that she had everything she wanted (a night by the lake, cuddling softly, whispering sweet nothings to each other….) he couldn't even love her. Maybe this was all to good to be true.

"Maybe this isn't meant to be," she sniffled.

"What?! Why?!" he snarled, this was what he wanted this was what he needed, someone to care for him. All the time he had missed of love, all the time he had spent rejected of this wonderful emotion. He needed her more then anything, he needed for her to nurse him back into shape. She rolled off of his hips, and those uncontrollable emotions started to pulse in his veins again. She stood up and turned away from him, her skirt was so short. An inch and a half more, and maybe he could take a peek at her underwear.

No BAD Inu Yasha! You sound like the damn monk, and you don't want her MAD at you, stop it, control yourself!

Heh, Heh, Heh. C'mon just crawl an inch forward, then you can just…see what color her panties are. Maybe she's wearing a thong. You know it's hot, what is she going to do, she's too sad to sit boy you!

Inu Yasha gulped and swatted at the devilish dog on his shoulder.

"I think I'll go back to camp," she sighed. She was about to take a step when she felt Inu Yasha's firm grip on her wrist. She turned around, her hair fluttering in front of her eyes, she stared down into his amber hues, that looked like the moon. She could see them begging for her to stay, but if she did, she knew it would all be a joke.

Yes finally you listen to me, the sane one. Now, don't force her to do anything just don't-

Haha! You thought you could get rid of me, well realize that I control you physically, that little shit angel is only mental. Now what does this nerve do?

Inu Yasha closed his eyes tight, trying to control himself. But his body just wouldn't stop. He pulled on her wrist abruptly, pulling her on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and held her firmly against.

But I can control what he says, you could be…touching her, but I'll just tell her that he can't help it. He can't live without her.

Damn mushy shit…

His cheek was laying against her chest. Half of him was horny, the other half was crushed. How could she want to leave him? What had he done?

"Done go," he whimpered, "Please.."

Kagome's lip trembled. How could she have had seconds thoughts? How could she want to give him up? How? Tears slid down her face against and she cried softly into his white hair. One of his ears flicked against her cheek as she did so. She wanted to laugh, but she was so disappointed in herself for wanting to leave him.

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Jamie: I'm sorry I haven't updated. My Dani and I went away for the weekend. Then, my mom tripped down a couple stairs and broke her wrist x_x. Wow, my life is shit. Anyways, next up.