I really like this story! Already three chapters up! This might actually stand a chance of survival! Congratulate me!

Dedications, for all my fans out there, I thank each of yous that reviewed personally.

Eve of mirkwood: THANK you for reviewing. I truly treasure each one I am given.

And maybe she has seen the movies, you never know. Then again maybe she hasn't. And I WILL try my upmost best to annoy/pester and generally drive wizard boy mad.

Sethoz: I try to oblige with your request. Thank you for the review. The story is funny! A miracle! WOOHOO! Hopefully this time I wont butcher the genre.

Addicted: Yes that is a problem of mine, proofreading. I will try and thanks, constructive criticism is one of the best tools a writer can have, so thank you.

Midnight: thank you for reviewing! And the idea…might be useful, but do you really wish to unleash the horrors of the teen upon elrond's council? That would just be too cruel, so bad guys stuck with her for now. But then again……

Darkdancer: Never mind about the ideas I thank you for your consideration anyways, but the silly string now…hmm… I forgot about that. Much fun to be had.

Kits: another fan I hear laughing at the screen? WAHOO! Im glad you like it, ill try to keep it funny. And, yes, who would thunk it?

Disclaimer: you all know it, its not mine, not yet, I'm working on that littler detail however *Evil grin*

Random quote: "A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
Herm Albright.

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Saruman was in his chair again, head in hands. Today was NOT a good day. Not since that accident with the spell, which he still had to fix so there wouldn't be a repeat accident. He did NOT want a repeat of that accident.

The first problem was still running about some ware unchecked.

How she had gotten out and switch places with that orc remained unanswered, the orc himself refusing to give a full explanation by stating that he couldn't quite remember. The rather large bump on his head giving merit to his story.

The first clues he had that she had escaped was strange rumours drifting through the tower of some rather odd mishaps.

Buckets of water falling onto the heads of those who opened doors and passed through, of things mysteriously whacking them when nothing was around to do it, annoying songs heard distantly, though no one could get close enough to find the person singing, one somehow got salt in his eyes and ended up on the ground howling in pain, so the girl had obviously found the food storage.

The truly bizarre one was of small items moving on their own across floors, completely freaking out a dozen or so orcs present with this strange phenomenon. Though this suggested that the place was merely haunted, and could easily be solved.

And those were only within the first half hour.

A small group of orcs grumbled amongst themselves as they passed the doorway, two covered in garbage and a third limping badly while wincing with every step.

Saruman watched them go silently, wondering what had happened to them, then deciding he really didn't want to know.

Listening he heard the distant sound of an annoying song being sung at top volume.

"Super-teen extraordinaire
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Runs around in underwear
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!"

The door to his chamber shut suddenly, blocking out the dreaded noise. The beginnings of a headache started to throb. No, today was definitely NOT a good day.

*************

"Rescues Washington D.C.
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Unless something better's on TV
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!"

Mel was really beginning to get into the tune of the song, even going so far as to make her own dance moves to go with it, a mixture of the Macarena, the ketchup song and something all her own.

" His brain's overloading
It has a chocolate coating
Textbook case for Sigmund Freud
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!"

The distant wail of despairing orcs didn't put her off, in fact it seemed to encourage her more, judging by the increase in volume to the song.

" Check out Dexter Douglas
Nerd computer ace
Went surfing on the internet
And was zapped to cyberspace


He turned into the Freakazoid
He's strong and super-quick
He drives the villains crazy
'Cause he's a lunatic"

The last line was said with extreme enthusiasm, Mel grinning away happily. She paused for sec, listening.

The sound of distant thudding reverberated through the halls, sounding a lot like something banging itself repeatedly against the wall. Multiple something's . Multiple head banging something's.

Mel shrugged to herself, deciding she had imagined it, before blaring on with the song.

"His home base is the Freakalair
Freakazoid! Fricassee!
Floyd the Barber cuts his hair
Freakazoid! Chimpanzee!

Rides around in the Freakmobile
Freakazoid! Free-kazoo!
Hopes to make a movie deal
Freaka-me! Freaka-you!"

Behind her, some orcs turned a corner and saw her, hands covering ears desperately. They made a desperate attempt to try and silence her, lunging forwards. Mel saw them coming.

"He's here to save the nation
So stay tuned to this…ouch!.. station
If not, we'll be unemployed…take THAT freak face…
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
NOT the hair, why you basta…HEY!

Freakazoid!!"

The song finished, she sat smugly on the top of the orcs, who were piled up on one another in a battered heap, some groaning and twitching, others obviously unconscious. Mel didn't even receive a scratch for her troubles and looked quite pleased with herself.

More accurate would be grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Heh…knocked most of themselves out, running into each other like that"

She shook her head pityingly and slid off the pile, walking down a corner for more chaos to cause. A few seconds later she ran back, devilish grin on her face with a can in hand.

Hisssss

She sprayed it all over the pile of orcs, before grinning and running off again.

"Oh the wonders of silly string"

*****************

"So let me get this strait, you do basically everything that all mighty tells you to and get bugger all in return? That bout right?"

The orc being addressed by Mel was furiously trying to escape through subtle and inoffensive means, not very successfully might I add.

Rumours spread quickly in Isengard and he really didn't want to discover nails in his shoes too late, and to prevent that his survival instincts pointed out that purposefully ripping her head off in anger would not go over too well with her, and instead tried his damn best to keep hold of his temper.

Moving from room to room didn't help as the persistent girl followed, even keeping up when he tried to run for it.

"That's slavery you realise, you should try and stop it, or at least ask to get payed for your work"

The orc turned back to face Mel.

"Look! …..girl…" he began, struggling not to call her what he really thought of her, "If anyone was stupid enough to try that, they'd end up dead, replaced by someone else!"

"Wow, so you CAN talk. And hear I thought you were a mute"

The orc growled in frustration, turning his back on her and looking around at his sniggering comrades for help.

None were willing to cut this entertainment short, not when it was so amusing, so no help was forthcoming.

"What if all of you decided to stand up for pay"

"What?"

"Well if all of you want the same thing, he cant very much kill all of you for it. He'd be out of workers"

There was a stirring among the orcs watching as they murmured to each other about this.

"So what do you propose we do about it? Walk right up to him and demand he pays us?"

"Its known as a strike. Back home people did it all the time"

"And what happened to those people that did?" Another orc asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, they refused to work until their demands were met. Sometimes it took months, other times barely a day. And they always won in the end. Think about it, if no one's working and refuse to until they get payed, he's stuck in a no win situation. He cant kill you all because then he'd have no one to do the work. If he refuses he still has no one to do the work. The only way HE gets you to work again is to give in to your demands. You get what you want, you win"

The orcs talked about this new idea, seemingly liking it. Mel, deciding her work was done, walked off , grinning smugly.

She took out a piece of paper and ticked something on it, before stuffing it back into a pocket, skipping ever so slightly, humming slightly under her breath.

"Super-teen extraordinaire
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Runs around in underwear
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!"

The sudden number of death glares directed at her back made her stop pretty quickly, at least until she was out of sight of the heavily debating orcs.

***************

Saruman was carefully reading over old scriptures, parchment books and scrolls flooding his desk to the brim, translating the words of the ancient text effortlessly.

It was blissfully quiet now, Mel tiring out half and hour ago and things were back to the relevant piece and quiet he had began to miss with her on the loose.

He would of tried locking her back in that room with guards to make sure she stayed there, but he found an unexpected bonus, and that was he was rarely bothered at all, the orcs too busy with trying to avoid Mel's tricks. And truth to say some of the rumours he heard were quite amusing.

So involved in the words before him, he didn't notice the shadowy figure sidle up behind him, looking over his shoulder.

"Whatcha doin Saruman?"

The voice from right next to his ear made him jump in surprise, sending a few parchment pieces scattering.

"I am reading, shouldn't you be in the room?"

Mel shrugged casually.

"Boring. Decided to go exploring."

"Well could you go, exploring, some wear else perhaps? Maybe back in the room you were meant to stay in?"

Mel though about this for a sec, Saruman continued to read from the parchment.

"What's that?"

Saruman looked at what she was pointing to.

"That is the skin of a snake"

"Oh. what's that?"

"That is a cup, and the door is over there if your having difficulty finding it"

"What's that?"

"That is still a cup, now, if you will, could you kindly make use of the door?"

"Fine fine, I just have one last question. If I'm not a hypochondriac but think I am, does that make me a hypochondriac?"

Saruman just looked at her.

"Erm…Ill just …be going now" She stated nervously, backing away, hands behind back.

Saruman shook his head in bemusement as the teen disappeared quickly.

A sudden though struck him as he returned to his reading, something that she had said…what was it again? Oh yes.

He called an orc from within the hallway.

"Keep an eye on the child, and report to me in the evening on what she does, and says"

The orc nodded in understanding, but paused before leaving, obviously wanting to say something.

"What is it?" Saruman demanded, looking bored.

"Me and the other fellas have been thinking. We want pay"

"What?" Saruman looked baffled.

"Were not working, until we get paid for it!" _____________________________________________________________________________________

Oookayy… Some fun is happening. I'm warming into the characters hear, cause in all seriousness, I have no idea how Saruman would react to a typical teen aside from blowing them to smitheries with his all powerful stick thingy, and if he did that hear it would just kill the plot. Ignore the terrible pun.

Suggestions on how to pester him will be greatly appreciated. For the Freakazoid theme song, it's a cartoon series. Never seen it but I like the song. Hehehe…super teen extraordinary…ACK! *Runs from the angry mob chasing her*