Dedications:

Peter: Thank you for the review! AND the ideas. They'll come in handy some place. Hehehe….flaming eye, pointy object….hehehe

Midnight: I'm glad you like the previous chapter, I do try to appease the audience.

Feanen: Thank you for reviewing, I hope this one meets up to expectations.

Amlugwen: yes indeed. Feel VERY sorry for them. I know I do.

Eve of Mirkwood: Hehehe…That's a good one. I could just imagine it too…..

saiyan-girl-cheetah: Is funny how you usually cant picture adults as annoying brats, but then again where do we learn all of our annoyingness off? On the plus side, you have great material to embarrass your father on his birthdays in front of all his mates.

Note: Done a bit of a time jump hear. A day or so after her arrival. And the tone of the story changes slightly, but it will be back to normal.

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So cold Mel though as she shivered. Why so cold?

The world around her was not as it should be. Everything seemed to be in mist, a thick impenetrable fog that covered everything from view. Light came from all around, a dull glow that illuminated the world but gave no warmth.

"Well this is weird"

Something glowed through the fog, something red. It seemed to shine from a distance, flickering about like a small flame.

Mel started to shiver, and it wasn't from the freezing temperatures.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up on end, icicles dancing on her spine. She was afraid. Of what she couldn't tell.

Something seemed to be watching her, something not nice. It bore into her soul, laying it bare for all to see. She felt, vulnerable.

Mel didn't like it.

I want out!

The surroundings changed in an instant. No longer was she stranded in a fog, unseen things peeing at her. She was at school, during break.

Surrounded by others, laughing and playing.

I thought I got away from this place! She moaned ruefully to herself. There was a reason she hated school with a passion.

"Hey Mel!"

Mel turned, face brightening into a genuine smile.

"Hi Ashley!" She patted her friend on the back, grinning away madly. Ashley grinned back, then began to titter slightly, trying hard to suppress her giggles.

Mel got the uncomfortable feeling she was laughing at her.

"What's wrong?"

Laughter came from others around her, nearly in hysterics over something they found amusing.

Ashley nodded to Mel's clothes.

"Your not wearing anything"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

*********************

Mel sat bolt upright, breathing hard. Her heart fluttering a million miles an hour. She pressed a palm against her chest to try and slow it.

She glanced around her room, nothing stirred.

Of course it wasn't her actual room at her house, shared by a sister in preschool. It was her room she had claimed as her own in Isengard.

If claim meant evict the other occupants forcefully (Which to be fair were only a couple of rats and spiders), move everything about and create her own cubby-hole with bits and pieces from all over the tower.

A few previous owners of these items had come back to reclaim them, only to be booted out again on their arse. Since then the room was avoided much the same way a dragon lair was avoided, with less speculation on what the place contained.

One of the main reasons for this was Mel was repudiated to be quite inventive with her traps, and no one wanted to actually test that theory.

Currently her bed was something that could of resembled a hammock strung from one wall to the other, surrounded by other odds and ends that only she knew were used for.

"Just a dream" she murmured, flopping back down in her odd hammock.

Usually she didn't dream, except for the occasional hand walking mime ruling the world with his army of ice cream furbies one, but those seemed to have disappeared recently.

"Ugh…I bet wizard boy's still up some ware" she mused to herself.

Instantly the urge to get up and pester him somehow came, fighting against the urge to shut up and nod off. This was reasoned out that whatever she would do now could easily be done in the morning, and was countered by the other stating that she could just as easily get up now and do it, then sleep in.

Sleeping in sounded the preferable option, and the thought of her creeping about at night, rifling through god knows what and uncovering any number of dirty scandals. Mel decided then and there to never watch soap operas again, not liking the effects they had on her mind late at night.

Too late, her mind began to run crazily around the ideas of soap operas in middle earth.

"Ooooh…evil images"

Eventually the chance of really annoying someone won out, if only to stop the plague of scenarios her strange mind created in response to soap operas.

She shuddered at the thought.

***************

The tower of Isengard looked disturbingly like one of those gothic style castles in cheesy horror flicks when explored late at night, and the usual consolation of 'monsters don't exist' didn't hold much comfort. Not when orcs passed you by regularly, nodding in greeting.

Mel stumbled across one who she was trying to avoid, since he hadn't taken kindly to falling hard on his back when Mel tried watering the floor, not in front of others who had found it hilariously funny. And to add injury to pride, by the time he had slipped and slided his way out of the wet area, Mel was already on top of a bookshelf safely out of harms way, tossing the occasional comment, taunt and book at him.

She froze, blinking in shock, an uncomfortable feeling of dread creeping into her stomach.

"Oh shit"

It seemed like magic. One moment she was there, the next, halfway round the closest corner and disappearing fast.

The orc gave chase.

"Yer not gunna get away this time girly!"

Mel decided to keep her mouth shut and keep breathing, secretly wishing she was good at long distant running and not short sprinting. By the looks of it, this guy wasn't going to give up any time soon.

She glanced behind her and nearly yelped in shock. He was gaining fast.

"Door, door, door, door would be good" she chanted to herself. Skidding around a corner she nearly howled.

"of all things, it HAD to be the STAIRS!"

She ran up them anyways, cursing Murphy for being such a sadistic bastard.

Reaching the top, she dived into one room, dashed through another, and ran what could of easily been a maze in her mind. Just don't let their be cheese at the end or arses will be flying!

She looked behind her and saw the orc still, if all things, gaining.

"DAMN their elven heritage!"

Now was not the best time for Mel to discover what they had inherited from their family tree, and apparently if it couldn't be looks it had to be stamina.

Life was cruel, and vindictive.

WHUMPH

"…ow…."

And could read thoughts apparently.

Mel was forcefully extracted from the wall she had seemed to have imbedded herself into, pulled back by her shirt collar.

She was shaken hard, jerking about painfully.

"What you going to do now? Hu?" The orc taunted, shaking her again roughly.

Mel's brain seemed to rattle inside her head painfully, bouncing about like a grasshopper on a hot grill.

No brainwaves came to her at that moment, no clever remark or idea on how to get out of this sudden unexpected situation.

The orc dropped her roughly and drew a fist back.

"Any last words?"

The sudden thump on the ground dislodged something in Mel, not an idea or desperate miraculous plan, but something else entirely.

"Yea, your shoe laces are untied"

Plain old annoying stupidity.

The orc actually looked, which goes to show that higher intellect was NOT one of the few things that orcs managed to inherit through their genes, more the better for the forces of good. Right at that moment more the better for Mel, who took the opportunity to do something.

Mel was tired, hurt, angry and thoroughly pissed off. She did not appreciate running through Isengard, up a flight of bloody long stairs, running full speed into a very hard wall, before nearly choking to death on a shirt collar and getting beaten to a pulp, and right at that moment she wanted to seriously hurt something.

Her leg kicked out hard.

The orc fell.

Mel stood up looking smug, dusting her hands slightly. She felt a little better as the orc whimpered in pain on the ground, curled up protectively, his voice an alarmingly high pitch tone.

I always thought that was only in movies. Never knew your voice really changed when your balls get kicked .

Mel shrugged to herself, grinning her smile again.

"What do you know, you learn something new every day" she mused.

She walked off, limping slightly. She winced in pain at her throbbing foot.

"Trust me to kick a hard one!"

**************

Mel wandered around the new floor, examining the rooms in wonder. She had only ever stuck to one level, never having the nerve to try climbing the stairs up or down, and lacking the motivation of a possibly homicidal orc chasing her to get her up them. Why? Because Mel's afraid of heights.

However, once you were passed the stairs, you couldn't tell how high you actually were and it didn't seem too bad.

Course now she was planning where to build her new room. No way in the seven realms of hell was she going to willingly go back down those steps.

Entering a new room, she looked about and instantly noticed it was different from the others. It had the usual black stone walls and floor of all the others, which Mel really wanted to know where it came from, but out of one wall was carved a throne.

A rather, evil looking throne.

In the centre of the room, a pedestal seemed to have been carved. Not of any design she knew but definitely suiting the gothic style of Isengard. Something was on top of it. Something covered by a cloth.

Curiosity instantly itched at Mel's fingers as they stretched out to uncover whatever it was.

In one quick tug the cloth was off, revealing the hidden prize.

"A magic 8 ball? What the hell?!"

She looked at the round black rock thing in disappointment.

"So much for that" she muttered ruefully, tossing the cloth back over it.

Her hand got a shock as it touched the ball through the cloth, sending her hairs on end. She blinked, poking the ball slightly. Another jolt, though it didn't seemed to be from electricity, but from something colder. A grin appeared again.

"Cool! One of those zapping globes that stand your hair on end!"

She poked it again, giggling childishly at the jolt.

It kept her entertained for a full ten minuets before something happened that freaked her out. She had left her hand on it for around ten seconds when something seemed to flash across her mind. It was an impression of fire, watching. Mel jumped back, shaking her tingling hand.

She avoided it after that and drifted away into one of the three rooms that branched off from the zapping 8 ball room, as it was now called by Mel.

It looked like a study, filled with books and parchments, a desk covered in it.

"How many of these rooms does wizard boy have? I've already seen five of the bloody things"

One thing about this one that didn't seem to be in the others is that it had an actual window. Mel nearly jumped with glee and ran over.

For as long as she had been there, not a peek had she seen of the outside world, and up until then she hadn't realised how much she missed it.

Her glee turned to sheer terror, eyes widening in horror. If she could of she would of screamed in fright, but when your throat seizes up its slightly hard to do so.

High high high high high high high high high high high high high high her mind chanted, stuck on what she was seeing.

Mel wasn't aware of how high up she actually was, and it came as a shock to see things so small below. Her mind tried to understand this but kept rejecting that information as possible, only to try and except it again. The result was her inner voice sounded like a record stuck on replay.

High high high high high high high high high high high high high….wait, where did this come from? I could of sworn I was looking out a window just then.

Her eyes focused again, seeing black above. A black ceiling. The next thing she notices was that she hurt, all over.

Groaning, she sat up, and noticed she was on the floor of study room number 6, the window above.

Must of fainted, ugh, how embarrassing

Embarrassment soon gave way to the desirable urge to go annoy any and all in sight. Mel liked the sound of that.

Scrambling to her feet, she grinned devilishly and scampered off.

****************

"WHAT in the name of VALAR did you think you were DOING!?"

Mel nearly cringed at the words blasted at her.

She would of liked to be hiding right then, preferably under that extremely heavy bookshelf that had a gap that was just the right size for her. The orc holding onto her shoulder made sure that option wasn't possible, though he would gladly do the same thing, even if he wasn't the one in trouble.

An angry wizard was not something he wanted to be on the receiving end of.

Saruman already looked twice as big as normal, a dark aura welling up around him and giving the wizard a threatening quality.

"Stealing my staff…"

"I didn't know it was your wand, I thought it was a big stick!" Mel defended herself, looking indigent at the thought.

"And I wasn't stealing, I was going to give it…"

"SILENCE!"

Mel jumped at the sound, instantly quiet. Secretly the orc was glad, having jumped as well at the voice of the booming wizard.

"You STOLE my staff, nearly set fire to the tower.."

"That was by mistake! I didn't know you could set the walls alight with a bloody stick"

"TWICE!"

Mel remained quiet, half because Saruman looked ready to burn her to a crisp with his glaring alone, and mainly because it wasn't possible to speak easily through a hand.

The orc didn't release his hold over her mouth until he was sure there were going to be no more comments. He really didn't want to get blasted away by accident, and Mel seemed intent on talking back to Saruman until that happened.

He should of just left his hand there and risk getting bitten.

"How could stone catch on fire anyways?"

"SILENCE!"

"I will not! I want to bloody know HOWAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH….."

The last comment was brought about by the sudden weightlessness of Mel as she was hurled through the air into the ceiling. She gaped like a fish out of water.

"Letmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedownletmedown…"

The orc wondered idly when she'd run out of breath, slightly in awe at the spectacle. Wasn't everyday someone was pinned to the ceiling by an enraged wizard.

"Why?" Saruman asked, mock curiosity in his voice.

"I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTSSSS…." Mel wailed out. She stopped in shock, just aware of what she said.

"Oh no" she whispered.

"Oh really?" the grin Saruman wore nearly made her attempt to try and claw her way through the ceiling to relative safety.

She needn't have bothered, Saruman did that for her.

One minuet, against the ceiling, the next flying upwards at a rate that defied logic, screaming curses all the way.

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Okay then….not as funny as the others I suppose. Slightly more serious. Next chapter, MUCH fun I promise! After all, Mel has to have some revenge now doesn't she?