Disclaimer: Before this chapter begins, I'd just like to say that I've
never believed in the Heir of Gryffindor theory, in fact, if you read the
Heir of Gryffindor threads that I've posted in, you'll find out how much I
detest it. Anything in this chapter or any subsequent chapters that could
possibly link to Gryffindor House of Godric Gryffindor himself, unless
otherwise stated, is purely coincidental.
Chapter 6: Why did you leave?
Once everyone had settled down and began eating, conversation filled the kitchen. Everyone was talking to other people around them, and Mira looked around her. Then looking at Molly, said, "Professor Dumbledore told me that you and Arthur have seven children, but, counting the two of you, there are only eight of you here. I don't mean to be rude, but where is your seventh child?"
Everyone immediately stopped talking and exchanged nervous, or, in the case of Fred, George, Ron and Ginny, angry glances. Mira realised that it was not a good topic for discussion and mumbled an apology.
When Molly found her voice, she said, "No, no, it's alright, dear. My third child is missing from the table. Percy is his name." She looked at Arthur tentatively, who was looking straight ahead of him, not showing any sign of emotion, before continuing. "Percy and Arthur had a falling-out last year over the validity of Professor Dumbledore's and Harry's claims about You- Know-Who returning. Percy took the Ministry's position on the matter and felt that he was no longer welcome in our home."
"Too right he wasn't. Still isn't, the git," said George, angrily.
"That's enough, George," snapped Molly. "Anyway, since the Ministry has realised its error of judgement, Percy also changed his stance and we - er, I - have forgiven him. He still lives here in London in the apartment he took last year. He knows of the Order, but Professor Dumbledore hasn't told him where headquarters is."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Molly, I shouldn't have said anything," replied Mira.
"No, as I said, it's alright. You probably would have found our sooner or later."
Everyone else ate in silence for the rest of the meal.
"That had to be one of the most delicious meals I've had in a few years, Molly," said Mira after everyone had finished. Molly blushed and conversation returned to the table, everyone decidedly forgetting the conversation that took place at the beginning of the meal.
After a minute or two, Mira turned to Remus and whispered, "Is there somewhere we can go to talk?"
Remus nodded. When everyone else was engaged in conversation or too busy cleaning up, they got up and left the kitchen. They went upstairs and Remus opened the door to the drawing room. Mira went inside and Remus closed the door behind them. Before Remus could say anything, Mira pulled out her wand, pointed it at the door and muttered, "Imperturbo." Remus gave her a confused look and she said, "Just in case someone wants to test out their Extendable Ears."
They found a couch and sat down. They did not speak for a minute. This is the moment of truth, thought Mira, nervously. At last, Remus, looking at the floor, whispered, "Why did you leave, Mira?"
Mira took a deep breath. "I couldn't stay. I was in so much pain, both physically and emotionally. I literally found it difficult to breathe, like I was suffocating. My best friend and her husband had been killed by Voldemort, their son was sent to live with that horrid Petunia and her husband, Vernon, or whatever his name is. I knew that they would not treat him well. Also at the time I'd thought that Sirius had betrayed us all and killed Peter, and, to top it all off, Frank and Alice Longbottom had been tortured into madness, just when I was becoming quite close to them. I'd never lost so many people I loved in such a short space of time."
"I'd lost them, too."
"I know, Remus, but we all deal with grief in our own way. Leaving was the only way I knew how to deal with it all."
"You didn't even say goodbye."
"I know, all I did was leave that stupid letter. I just couldn't face telling you I had to leave. It was one of the most cowardly things I'd ever done. If I had my time again I probably would have said goodbye to you in person. I still haven't forgiven myself for it, and I probably never will."
"I still have the letter." Remus reached into his robes and pulled out an old piece of parchment. "I've been reading this a lot over the past couple of weeks, hoping that I would get answers to my questions soon."
Remus handed the letter over to Mira and continued to look at the floor. Mira opened the piece of parchment and read the all-too-familiar words. The words that had been torturing the both of them for the past 15 years.
Dear Remus, (it read)
By the time you read this, I would have already been long-gone. I've decided to leave England in search of my fortune for reasons that are too painful to ever put in writing.
I'm so sorry I did not tell you I was leaving in person, but I could not bear to have another person beg me to stay. I cannot stay; it would be too painful for me. Professor Dumbledore is the only other person I've told that I'm leaving, and he tried to persuade me to stay, even though I'm sure he knew it would be fruitless to.
I hope that, one day, you will understand why I had to leave, that you will find it in your heart to forgive me, and to hear me out properly. Hoping to be
Your friend forever,
Mira Montrose
PS. I leave this owl to you. It can fly long-distances, and if you can forgive me, I'm hoping that one day you'll write to me. M.
"I will always remember how I felt when I wrote this," said Mira. "I felt both relieved and ashamed. Relieved that I didn't have to tell you properly, and ashamed that I didn't have the courage to tell you properly."
"I still don't understand why you felt that you had to write this letter, why you couldn't tell me you had to leave."
Mira looked at Remus. "I knew that if I went to see you, that one word from you, and I would have stayed. And I also knew that if I stayed, it would have killed me. It would have slowly killed me. But it was also one of the worst decisions I'd ever made, not telling you directly."
"I was bitter for a while," said Remus, "Very bitter. I couldn't believe you'd do a thing like this. As soon as I'd read the letter, I went straight to your house to see if you'd really gone, and then I went straight to Hogwarts to try and get some answers from Dumbledore. I slammed the letter on his desk and told him to tell me where you'd gone, why you'd gone and why you'd told me through a letter. But he wouldn't tell me. He said that he didn't know."
"Oh, he knew, or at least I gave him a general idea and he probably worked out the rest. I'm so sorry," she said, tears welling in her eyes. "I was kind of hoping you would forgive me, but I completely understand if you don't."
"Oh, I've forgiven you. I wouldn't have started writing to you if I hadn't. I just wanted some answers."
"And I'm here now to answer your questions."
"I'm still somewhat in shock that you've come back. I thought I'd never see you again." Mira wiped her tears on her sleeve and didn't reply. After a few minutes of silence, Lupin asked, "So why does Dumbledore what you to go to the Ministry of Magic tomorrow?"
Mira smiled. "I'm an Animagus. Dumbledore wants me to register."
"An-an Animagus?" spluttered a wide-eyed Remus. "H-how? Since when? W-why? What animal are you?"
"I researched it and I've been an Animagus for almost 7 years," she said conversationally. "I did it because I realised it would come in handy when fighting the Dark Arts and some dark creatures. I'm a lioness."
Remus blinked and watched as Mira started to no longer look human, but to look like, indeed, an lioness whose fur was the same colour as Mira-the- human's hair and the same blue eyes. After she transformed, she yawned and Lupin could see her teeth. She then changed back into a human.
"Wow," said Remus. Mira yawned again. "Tired?" She nodded. "Maybe we can talk more another time."
"That would be great."
Mira took of the Imperturbable Charm and they left the drawing room.
"Tell everyone I apologise, but I'm really tired, so I'm off to bed."
"OK. You know, it's really good to have you back, Mira. I really missed you over the years."
"I missed you, too. And I'm glad I don't have to live out of my trunk anymore. Maybe we could talk more over the next couple of weeks?"
"I'd really like that," smiled Remus.
They hugged each other goodnight and Mira went quietly upstairs thinking the day went rather better than she expected, while Remus went downstairs into the kitchen musing how beautiful Mira still looked, after all these years.
Chapter 6: Why did you leave?
Once everyone had settled down and began eating, conversation filled the kitchen. Everyone was talking to other people around them, and Mira looked around her. Then looking at Molly, said, "Professor Dumbledore told me that you and Arthur have seven children, but, counting the two of you, there are only eight of you here. I don't mean to be rude, but where is your seventh child?"
Everyone immediately stopped talking and exchanged nervous, or, in the case of Fred, George, Ron and Ginny, angry glances. Mira realised that it was not a good topic for discussion and mumbled an apology.
When Molly found her voice, she said, "No, no, it's alright, dear. My third child is missing from the table. Percy is his name." She looked at Arthur tentatively, who was looking straight ahead of him, not showing any sign of emotion, before continuing. "Percy and Arthur had a falling-out last year over the validity of Professor Dumbledore's and Harry's claims about You- Know-Who returning. Percy took the Ministry's position on the matter and felt that he was no longer welcome in our home."
"Too right he wasn't. Still isn't, the git," said George, angrily.
"That's enough, George," snapped Molly. "Anyway, since the Ministry has realised its error of judgement, Percy also changed his stance and we - er, I - have forgiven him. He still lives here in London in the apartment he took last year. He knows of the Order, but Professor Dumbledore hasn't told him where headquarters is."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Molly, I shouldn't have said anything," replied Mira.
"No, as I said, it's alright. You probably would have found our sooner or later."
Everyone else ate in silence for the rest of the meal.
"That had to be one of the most delicious meals I've had in a few years, Molly," said Mira after everyone had finished. Molly blushed and conversation returned to the table, everyone decidedly forgetting the conversation that took place at the beginning of the meal.
After a minute or two, Mira turned to Remus and whispered, "Is there somewhere we can go to talk?"
Remus nodded. When everyone else was engaged in conversation or too busy cleaning up, they got up and left the kitchen. They went upstairs and Remus opened the door to the drawing room. Mira went inside and Remus closed the door behind them. Before Remus could say anything, Mira pulled out her wand, pointed it at the door and muttered, "Imperturbo." Remus gave her a confused look and she said, "Just in case someone wants to test out their Extendable Ears."
They found a couch and sat down. They did not speak for a minute. This is the moment of truth, thought Mira, nervously. At last, Remus, looking at the floor, whispered, "Why did you leave, Mira?"
Mira took a deep breath. "I couldn't stay. I was in so much pain, both physically and emotionally. I literally found it difficult to breathe, like I was suffocating. My best friend and her husband had been killed by Voldemort, their son was sent to live with that horrid Petunia and her husband, Vernon, or whatever his name is. I knew that they would not treat him well. Also at the time I'd thought that Sirius had betrayed us all and killed Peter, and, to top it all off, Frank and Alice Longbottom had been tortured into madness, just when I was becoming quite close to them. I'd never lost so many people I loved in such a short space of time."
"I'd lost them, too."
"I know, Remus, but we all deal with grief in our own way. Leaving was the only way I knew how to deal with it all."
"You didn't even say goodbye."
"I know, all I did was leave that stupid letter. I just couldn't face telling you I had to leave. It was one of the most cowardly things I'd ever done. If I had my time again I probably would have said goodbye to you in person. I still haven't forgiven myself for it, and I probably never will."
"I still have the letter." Remus reached into his robes and pulled out an old piece of parchment. "I've been reading this a lot over the past couple of weeks, hoping that I would get answers to my questions soon."
Remus handed the letter over to Mira and continued to look at the floor. Mira opened the piece of parchment and read the all-too-familiar words. The words that had been torturing the both of them for the past 15 years.
Dear Remus, (it read)
By the time you read this, I would have already been long-gone. I've decided to leave England in search of my fortune for reasons that are too painful to ever put in writing.
I'm so sorry I did not tell you I was leaving in person, but I could not bear to have another person beg me to stay. I cannot stay; it would be too painful for me. Professor Dumbledore is the only other person I've told that I'm leaving, and he tried to persuade me to stay, even though I'm sure he knew it would be fruitless to.
I hope that, one day, you will understand why I had to leave, that you will find it in your heart to forgive me, and to hear me out properly. Hoping to be
Your friend forever,
Mira Montrose
PS. I leave this owl to you. It can fly long-distances, and if you can forgive me, I'm hoping that one day you'll write to me. M.
"I will always remember how I felt when I wrote this," said Mira. "I felt both relieved and ashamed. Relieved that I didn't have to tell you properly, and ashamed that I didn't have the courage to tell you properly."
"I still don't understand why you felt that you had to write this letter, why you couldn't tell me you had to leave."
Mira looked at Remus. "I knew that if I went to see you, that one word from you, and I would have stayed. And I also knew that if I stayed, it would have killed me. It would have slowly killed me. But it was also one of the worst decisions I'd ever made, not telling you directly."
"I was bitter for a while," said Remus, "Very bitter. I couldn't believe you'd do a thing like this. As soon as I'd read the letter, I went straight to your house to see if you'd really gone, and then I went straight to Hogwarts to try and get some answers from Dumbledore. I slammed the letter on his desk and told him to tell me where you'd gone, why you'd gone and why you'd told me through a letter. But he wouldn't tell me. He said that he didn't know."
"Oh, he knew, or at least I gave him a general idea and he probably worked out the rest. I'm so sorry," she said, tears welling in her eyes. "I was kind of hoping you would forgive me, but I completely understand if you don't."
"Oh, I've forgiven you. I wouldn't have started writing to you if I hadn't. I just wanted some answers."
"And I'm here now to answer your questions."
"I'm still somewhat in shock that you've come back. I thought I'd never see you again." Mira wiped her tears on her sleeve and didn't reply. After a few minutes of silence, Lupin asked, "So why does Dumbledore what you to go to the Ministry of Magic tomorrow?"
Mira smiled. "I'm an Animagus. Dumbledore wants me to register."
"An-an Animagus?" spluttered a wide-eyed Remus. "H-how? Since when? W-why? What animal are you?"
"I researched it and I've been an Animagus for almost 7 years," she said conversationally. "I did it because I realised it would come in handy when fighting the Dark Arts and some dark creatures. I'm a lioness."
Remus blinked and watched as Mira started to no longer look human, but to look like, indeed, an lioness whose fur was the same colour as Mira-the- human's hair and the same blue eyes. After she transformed, she yawned and Lupin could see her teeth. She then changed back into a human.
"Wow," said Remus. Mira yawned again. "Tired?" She nodded. "Maybe we can talk more another time."
"That would be great."
Mira took of the Imperturbable Charm and they left the drawing room.
"Tell everyone I apologise, but I'm really tired, so I'm off to bed."
"OK. You know, it's really good to have you back, Mira. I really missed you over the years."
"I missed you, too. And I'm glad I don't have to live out of my trunk anymore. Maybe we could talk more over the next couple of weeks?"
"I'd really like that," smiled Remus.
They hugged each other goodnight and Mira went quietly upstairs thinking the day went rather better than she expected, while Remus went downstairs into the kitchen musing how beautiful Mira still looked, after all these years.