Like I promised, the second chapter up in a row.

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Mel yawned loudly, blinking her eyes sleepily from her curled position next to a bookshelf in the very corner of the room. Being awake previously for a little over thirty six hours really took its tole on people, and fatigue was finally starting to catch up to Mel. She hated it, but it just wouldn't go away, though that strange drink that seemed to be a combination of bourbon, coffee and some type of energy drink really perked her up. It tasted worse than it sounded.

She should really go get some, but she couldn't be arsed enough to get up from such a comfortable spot. Actual her shoulder was twisted oddly and she had discovered just how bony a neck was when against a stone wall, but these minor inconveniences only seemed to keep her more resilient to getting up.

Mel wondered slightly if it was day or night right now, but decided she really couldn't be bothered caring about that, wasting precious energy spent on doing sweet stuff all.

Mel blinked slowly, her eyes not wanting to open again, but she forced them open, only to have large eyes peering back at her.

"WAAARGH!" Mel attempted new world record to climb mid air failed spectacularly, and she landed back on the ground with a thud, her head clunking noisily against the wall. She didn't even notice, instead content on glaring at the Orc standing in front of her.

"what?!" she demanded, not feeling her best at the moment.

"So your not dead after all! Found you lying hear, not moving. Thought old Dregnug had finally done you in"

"Hardly, but you might want to still call the funeral arrangements, there IS going to be a body hear after all" she growled out, clambering to her feet and looking as threatening as a half dead teen can look.

The orc looked confused at her.

"What you on about?"

"Never mind"

One problem in this new place, Mel had found out, was that death threats were not recognised with references back to where she came from, which was quite frustrating in the end. If you went about threatening someone, they should at least have the curtesy to know what exactly you were threatening them with.

"What do you want Charlie?" she asked, suppressing a rather loud yawn but not succeeding well. The sight of a persons back tonsil's weren't that pleasant, and Charlie looked away hurriedly.

"Nothin, just wanted to see if you were dead or not, you sure looked like you were…." he looked her up and down "…still do"

"Yea, well its known as insomnia. Not a very pleasant sight"

"That's for sure"

Mel made a face at him.

"Oh that was so funny I forgot to laugh"

"That makes you slow then as well"

Mel blinked slightly.

"Where did you suddenly develop a sense of sarcasm?"

"You'd be surprised what others pick up when they're around you"

Mel nodded sagely.

"Ah"

She grinned suddenly, causing Charlie to flinch instinctively.

"I teach well then"

"To those who are smart enough to listen, yes"

"Wow, your good"

He bowed slightly.

"I try"

Mel yawned again, covering her mouth with her hand as she looked around.

"Say, do you have any of that weird drink stuff on you?"

"What drink stuff?"

"You know, the kind that burns slightly but makes you feel as if you can play the harmonica while tap dancing on a pole surrounded by lava and not sweat a drop?"

Charlie was slightly confused by this but got the general gist of things.

"You mean Orc draught" (Help me people, I haven't a clue what its called really, so for now its going to be called that)

Mel shrugged. "Most likely"

"Where on middle earth did you get your hands on that?"

Mel grinned again.

"I have many….many…" she fumbled slightly for the word. "WAYS, that's it, ways!"

"You need sleep, that's what"

Mel poked her lower lip out and pouted like a child, folding her arms.

"No I don't!"

"How long have you been awake? Twenty four- twenty five hours?"

"Thirty seven, and that's beside the point!"

Charlie shook his head exasperated.

"You can barely stand!"

Mel was about to protest but just then, she stumbled back into the wall. To give her due, she bounced back rather quickly.

"Well, so what? Ill be fine, if I can get some more of that drink"

"I'll go get some!"

Mel frowned slightly at the eagerness in his voice. The look on her face reminded her of something, something important, or at least worth noting. Her tired mind strove to remember what it was, even as Charlie returned and handed her a cup of the drink.

Without hesitation she gulped it down, before realising what was so noticeable about that look. It was the look she got when an idea suddenly came to mind, a mischievous idea. The look of a predator laughing at the unwitting victim.

The cup dropped from her hand as she just realised this, eyes wide. She glared at Charlie, who was doing a fare good impression of her Cheshire cat grin.

"What did you D" before she collapsed, snoring hard.

**************

Mel awoke again, groaning slightly. She twitched, trying to think properly. Something important happened, something about….about.

She sat up, eyes blazing, ready to kill with her bare hands. She looked down at her shaking hands, and gaped.

"Why those low down, rotten, mean spirited…..where the HELL did they get this from!?"

Mel was decked out in full on Saruman gear.

Robes, her hair dyed white, a stick just her size for a staff, even a beard.

She tore the beard off bad temperedly and jumped on it empathically, pounding it with her feet. She even had the same type of SHOES, she suddenly realised.

What on earth!?

Mel heard muffled sniggering, as if multiple people were hiding close bye and trying not to give themselves away.

She all but growled to herself and stalked over to the sound, stick in hand. She threw open a pair of doors and entered a room hiding a few alarmed looking orcs.

Mel growled at them, glaring such evils that one was quite surprised to notice he wasn't a pile of ash on the floor.

She waved her stick about, robes billowing out dramatically, looking very much like a mini Saruman in a rage.

"How DARE you!?" she screeched out.

One orc stood forward, smirking slightly, completely confident.

"And what are you going to do about it?" he asked, arms crossed. Mel's eyes flashed strangely, the stick was raised.

******************

Mel looked slightly better at the pile of unconscious orcs in front of her, a satisfied look on her face. Each one would wake up head to foot covered in bruises, and some other nasty things. To put it bluntly, they had been beaten to a bloody pulp, and weren't going to wake up any time soon to realise this fact.

She noted, with a scowl, that Charlie wasn't among them.

"Wondered what all the screeching was about"

"Speak of the devil" she murmured to herself, before turning on him with full fury.

"WHAT did you think you were DOING!"

Charlie looked rather nervous now, eyeing the stick/staff in her hand warily. If she had managed to take out six others with apparent ease, he didn't think his chances were all that good after all.

"I didn't do it!"

This stupid, desperate and all together plain blatant lie did a quite surprising thing. It stopped Mel for a second.

"Explain" was all she said, Charlie all but jumped to comply. The look she had was not one to mess with.

"All I did was help you sleep, you needed it, you really did. What THEY did was after I gave you that drink, and nothing to do with me at all"

"So…you had nothing to do with…with" she gestured to herself to make the point clear. Charlie shook his head furiously.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the stick/staff was retracted to the position of a walking stick, and not held ready to swing at him.

Mel glanced quickly inside of the robes, and sighed happily. She tore off the outfit in one tug to reveal her normal clothes underneath.

"Those twisted, feeling perverted FREAKS!"

Mel let out a war scream and jumped at the nearest unconscious orc, looking quite happy to pound into him with her feet.

Charlie winced slightly, and decided that, despite not caring a rats arse about his fellow orcs, he really didn't think his dreams would like what he was going to see if he didn't step in.

"All right, I think you've extracted revenge enough on them…they should be alive to suffer the consequences you know, or it defeats the purpose"

Mel didn't seem to hear him.

Charlie rolled his eyes and grabbed Mel by the shoulder, halting her. She stopped then, much to his relief, before whirling around and decking him flat.

"THAT'S for drugging me"

Charlie rubbed at his sore eye slightly, before bouncing back to his feet. He waited for more, but nothing came.

"One hit? ONE hit that's it?"

"Why…would you LIKE more?"

"No…but usually.."

"Usually I haven't just beaten a bunch of idiots stupid, have I?"

"And what a fine job you did their, though I see someone got a hit in" he motioned slightly to the red mark on her forehead.

"Hell no! those idiots were to preoccupied trying to dig through solid wall to escape to try and fight back. That's where I hit myself when swinging the stick around"

"You hit yourself?"

"Yea….to tell the truth I'm a pretty cruddy fighter. Why do you think it took me so long to bloody knock them all out?"

Charlie looked at Mel in a new light, one that showed no amount of respect at all, but rather a strange morbid pity almost.

"So you virtually have no clue as to how to fight?"

"Aside from the little I've been taught, act like a maniac and scare them off. That usually works around hear. Luck helps as well"

"Yessss….yess it does"

"Course if any were smart enough to stick around and fight back, they'd beat me easily"

"Too bad no one's that smart"

"Lucky for me, that excludes you of course you know"

"Of course"

Charlie shook his head, motioning for Mel to head for the door.

"Isn't there some type of chaos you can spread some ware?" he asked.

Mel's face brightened.

"Thanks, I forgot about that!" She ran off, before appearing again a few seconds later. "Oh, and if one of them wake up any time, could you tell them thanks for the shoes and stick?"

*********************

The scene played out in something, something transparent as someone watched curiously.

Like a TV Screen, What just transpired with Mel was playing out like a sitcom of some kind, being watched intently.

The edges of the screen faded out and wavered, as if whatever the screen was made out of bore a strong resemblance to mist.

"Strange" a voice mused to itself, as whatever it was continued to watch Mel.

***********************

Mel skipped along happily in her new shoes, glad she no longer had to slide around so much with just plain old socks. Now she hadn't a clue of what to do.

Running a hand through her hair, she suddenly remembered something important.

******ten minuets later ********

"Hiya Saruman old buddy old pal"

"What do you want?" Saruman resisted the urge to put his head in his hands, instead optioning to continue writing and hope she would go away on her own accord.

"Erm, you wouldn't have any types of dyes handy would you?"

"And what would you want them for…no, don't answer that, I really don't want to know, and leave that alone"

Mel stopped her idle search through a pile of papers, dropping her hands by her side quickly.

"Sooo, do you have any? Preferably blue?"

"No I do not, and I wouldn't touch that if I were you"

Mel quickly jerked her hand back from a bizarre looking skull sitting on a shelf.

"Erm…okay, you know where I can get some?"

"No, and don't even think it!"

Mel looked hastily away from Saruman's staff.

"Do you possibly know how to make some?" she asked pleadingly.

Saruman finally turned to face her, not looking as if he was willing to help.

"I would not help you even if the fate of all middle earth would be damned as a result"

Mel looked slightly hurt at this remark, pouting like a small child.

Despite himself, Saruman almost felt ashamed at the heart broken look Mel portrayed as she turned to leave.

"By the way, why is your hair white now?"

The look Mel gave him would of frozen hell over.

******three minuets later********

WHUMPH!

"….ow…."

"Saruman in a mean mood this time?"

"You think?" Mel asked, painfully pushing herself off the hard floor she was slammed against.

She rubbed the bridge of her nose, wincing.

"How are you faring Gandy?"

Gandalf shrugged, puffing a bit on the pipe he still had with him.

"Can't complain. I was getting a bit worried about you though, haven't seen you in a few days. Thought something might of happened"

"Aww…you care about me, how sweet. Wait a minuet, a few days?! How long was I out of it!?"

Gandalf looked at her, puzzled, but no answers were forthcoming.

"What did you do this time, may I ask, to get exiled up hear?" he asked around the pipe he was still puffing at.

"Spilled some ink accidentally over some documents he were writing. Didn't seem to happy about that, but more importantly, I came up hear for an actual reason. I have something to ask"

Gandalf gestured for her to go ahead.

"Do you have any blue dye? If not do you know how to make/find any?"

"Ah, that explains it"

"Explains what?"

Gandalf pointed to her hair.

"Someone got the better of you?"

Mel only scowled in answer.

"Unfortunately I do not have any dyes on me, nor anything that can make such colours"

The angry dance Mel suddenly demonstrated was only matched with the number of curses spewing forth from her lips, some that Gandalf was quite glad he didn't understand.

He waited for her to calm down, puffing out a few smoke rings idly as they drifted away on the breeze. Mel seemed quite awed at the one that looked like a screaming eagle as it dispersed.

"But I might have an idea of how to return your hair to normal"

"Really? HOW!?"

"Unfortunately my memory of such things was not as it once was, I cannot help you at the moment I am afraid"

Mel silently tossed him around a handful of pipe weed. Gandalf scooped it up and in a flash, it disappeared some ware into his robes.

"Thanks for that, my supply was running a bit low"

"So…has your memory suddenly been jogged miraculously?"

"Actually, no, but don't think it matters"

He pointed to her hair again and to her delight it was once again blue. Her happy dance was surprisingly similar to her angry dance, excluding the obscene language of course.

Gandalf grinned to himself underneath his beared.

"Oh yea! I forgot. I nicked these as I went flying, don't think Saruman noticed at the time. Thought you might like something to read"

She dropped a few sheets of parchment into his lap as she danced passed, before tiring and sitting down again, beaming like a small child.

"I do believe you'll try to send me a kitchen area next, or a feather bed"

"Im working on that one as we speak"

Gandalf laughed, the first time in a long time. He still chuckled as he began to read the parchment, but his face turned deadly serious quickly.

Mel's cheerfulness dimmed as well when she saw his reaction.

He scanned through the words quickly, shaking his head with despair.

"What's wrong? You look like a star wars freak who just witnessed Chewbacca's death". Having a family of freaks leads one to say strange metaphors, especially when based off your older sibling. On the plus side she knew, theoretically, how a hyper dive was meant to work among other useless trivia facts.

"Do you realise what these words contain?"

"Nope, not a clue, I only know two languages, English and bad English"

He hurriedly gave the parchment back.

"Saruman must not know you have these. As soon as you can, return them to where they came from. No one must know of this. If Saruman had even a small suspicion you had but glanced at these papers…."

He left the words unsaid, leaving it up to Mel's imagination, and considering what it could think up, Mel was suddenly very nervous.

"What do they say?" she asked nervously, holding the papers limply as if it was a dead fish, a long dead fish. A long dead fish that looked ready to bite her hand off.

"It is best you remain ignorant"

"Ah, the old ignorance is bliss thing? Gotcha"

Gandalf gave her a grave look.

"Do not try Saruman's patience. What he is planning….what he is…..what he is capable of, the consequences for your actions would not be pleasant"

"Well, things certainly took a morbid turn"

" Mel, I do not want to see you hurt, not by Saruman's hand." Gandalf looked indeed sincere about this, enough to stop the sarcastic retort dead in Mel's throat.

"But…but...that means my revenge!" She looked downcast at her feet. Gandalf took this as an agreement. He should of known Mel better, or at least notice the wiry sneaky grin Mel was wearing at the time.

*********************

True to Gandalf's command, Mel returned the papers quick as anything as soon as she could, leaving Saruman non the wiser.

Now she was wondering about, whistling slightly as she carried her bag along with her.

She had dug about in her bag and, much to her shock and delight, found some sherbet of all things in her bag. They had disappeared fast, and now Mel was feeling super happy. She also had a strange look in her eyes and was skipping about fast while whistling. Whistling the mission impossible theme song at twice the normal speed.

She was feeling happy, she wanted to do stuff, fun stuff. Mel grinned and bounced along fast.

"Funfun"

****an hour or so later*************

Mel curled up in a ball, arms hiding her face, truly wishing she was dead, or she certainly would be if caught.

"THERE you are!"

"WARGH!" Mel nearly fell off the top of the bookshelf she was balanced on. Her arms still grabbed onto it and she used the shelves as steps to regain her position and looked down.

"Oh….hi Charlie"

He waived slightly, grinning madly.

"Your officially the most wanted person in the tower right now, you know that?"

Mel groaned.

"Don't remind me"

"What possessed you to do it?"

"Sugar" came the muffled reply.

"Really? Sugar makes you do that?"

"No, sugar makes me hyper, hyper makes me do that"

"Where did you get sugar?"

"Found some in my bag"

"Well it led to some most surprising outcomes. Most of us think the part where you rigged the entire library to send all those bookshelves falling in a chain reaction was brilliant" He chuckled in memory.

"Took a while to get Saruman out of that mess, wasn't too happy about it"

Mel hid her face again, paling slightly.

"Or how you covered him with your stringy stuff until you couldn't fully see him. He scared half of those fellas he met half to death, thinking some bizarre monster had arisen from the deep"

He shook his head slightly, grinning madly.

"By the way, there's an official search party out to hunt you down now"

Only a slight sound, sounding a lot like 'unnnngh crap', showed that Mel was listening and not liking what she was hearing.

"Don't worry, Saruman's not with them. He's still trying to get his staff down from where you stuck it to the ceiling"

"And the part where you tipped that mix of flour egg and water over him as he went passed was really very funny" Another Orc piped up from the doorway.

Mel looked ready to loose it when the hole in the ground stubbornly refused to open beneath her.

"Don't worry, were not hear to turn you in" the new orc reassured.

"If we did that, all the fun would end. Were actually hear to hide ya, us and a few others"

Mel gaped in surprise.

"After all, who would make the day so entertaining for us if you were gone? Someone needs to bring that stuck up wizard down on occasion"

**************

Saruman growled to himself, glad that no one was present to watch his current predicament. He wasn't sure his pride and dignity could survive it.

Saruman, all powerful wizard, highest in the order of the Istari, High ranking servant of Sauron himself, was currently jumping up and down like an eager little kid in a rather lame attempt to retrieve his staff that was firmly duck taped to the ceiling. No matter how hard he jumped the ceiling still remained a stubborn four meters out of reach.

His attempt to gather the staff using magic had failed spectacularly, something he still didn't quite believe.

He consoled himself by planning what he would do to Mel once he got his hands on her, something that sent him grinning and muttering in a strangely deranged manner. The more disturbing fact of how Mel got it up there in the first place still remained unanswered.

He also wasn't that comfortable covered in some strange sticky string stuff and that gunk she had tipped all over him from above that door.

Right now hunting parties were searching through the tower to try and track that little…little…wrench down. No one made a fool of Saruman and got away with it!

He was at his wits end now, that child was uncontrollable.

The painful throbbing of a tell tale headache coming on again worsened his temper. Before that girl had arrived, headaches were almost non existent in his life, now they appeared on average thrice a day.

Just wait until he got his hands on that girl!

Until then, Saruman had to content himself with trying to reach his blasted staff!

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