Part of the bargain, the third in a row. Count it that's THREE!

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Mel looked around at a land hidden by dense fog. The place seemed to glow with an eerie light, giving off a sickly grey hue.

Aw, not this place again!

She kicked at where she estimated the ground to be, since she couldn't see much in the fog let alone her feet.

"Of all the god damn son's of bitches places to be!"

She shivered, hugging herself slightly. The place was eerily cold, and something seemed to be watching again.

Out of the top ten tourist places Mel wanted to visit, this was not even on the radar. Mel did not like this place. It made her uneasy, extremely uneasy. She would go as far as to say it scared her bad. Mel did not like to be scared.

I hear you….

She didn't care if it was a dream, it scared her all the more because then anything could happen. There was no thing as impossible in a dream, nothing made sense, and SHE wanted to be the only thing that didn't make sense. Trying to compete with the dream world was nigh on impossible.

I sense you….

And then there was the really uneasy cold feeling she got in this place from before. It was oppressive and heavy, she could almost taste it. It sent her teeth on edge and her throat into a spasm when she tried, causing her to reach.

"Ugh…not trying that again" she noted to herself, shuddering.

I'm coming for you….

And the demonic sounding voice that came from all around was really starting to grate on her nerves. At least that was a new feature this time around.

She gritted her teeth and tried to ignore it, instead deciding that moving would be a good idea.

Something sounded behind her, as if something was creeping up on her and trying to be silent.

Moving right NOW would indeed be a good idea she duly noted, before bolting forward suddenly.

For some strange reason, Mel got the impression she was running through a bog, backed up when her foot caught on something and sent her flat into the ground. Something mushy and oozing, very much decaying she could guess. The scent of rotting matter assaulted her nose, and Mel very nearly did throw up this time around.

She felt the presence of something loom up out of no wear behind her, something distinctively not nice. Mel slowly, hesitantly turned her head to look at it. Her eyes widened in fear and she let out a piercing scream.

***************

Mel bolted upright fast.

WHAM!

Only to be back down again seconds later. She clutched her forehead and groaned slightly.

"Owie…not nice…..don't wanna try again"

True to their word, which surprised Mel no end, the orcs had indeed helped her hide. To be exact at the very top shelf in a cupboard, way out of reach of anything at orcish height. It also hid her from view quite nicely.

The thing that had floored her so easily was the cupboard top, and Mel decided not to try head butting it again any time soon.

The cupboard seemed to be working, no one had found her yet, though she had found out the long way how often the supplied below her were used.

The snatches of conversation she overheard were great for passing the time, and blackmail if the need should arise.

Mel froze as someone entered the room.

"Look, there's nothing hear" one voice pointed out, sounding bored.

"But I could of sworn I heard a noise" another countered, looking around the room suspiciously. Mel cursed her head silently.

Knew this thick skull of mine would land me in trouble.

"Its probably just Saruman above with the prisoner"

"He's caught that girl?"

"No, the other one. Old bloke, big nose"

"ooooh" the second said, suddenly understanding.

"You mean he got his staff down?"

"Apparently"

"How'd he manage that?"

"Haven't a clue. Isn't talking much and any that were watching at the time just end up laughing when its mentioned"

There was a pause.

"I wonder how it got up there in the first place"

"You should know by now that whatever that loopy girl does shouldn't surprise you"

"Your right there"

The two turned to leave, voices slowly fading away.

"Take for example that time in the kitchen. All she was doing was cutting up some fruit, nearly ended up burning the place down. Now by all accounts that shouldn't happen, it shouldn't even be remotely possible, but the brat somehow did it"

"I wonder how she does that"

"I wouldn't want to know"

Mel was in near hysterics in her hiding place, one hand over her mouth the other holding her painfully aching ribs. They felt as if they would burst with the effort not to laugh.

Her mind tried to make her aware of something, something that might have been important. What was it? She froze in sudden realisation.

"Gandalf"

****************

Mel was sprinting through the halls, not giving a damn if she was spotted. She skidded through a door, spotted the stairs, and without hesitation bolted up them faster than thought possible.

She burst into the zapping 8 ball room, looking quite dramatic in doing so. She glanced around hurriedly, spotted the window in Saruman's study room. The one she called study room six.

Her face was suddenly glued to the glass, peering out and trying to see. It was dark, night-time. She couldn't see a thing.

Mel cursed, hitting the windowsill hard with frustration.

She stood back and jumped slightly on the balls of her feet, not sure of what to do. Like lightning, a single thought entered her mind.

"The balcony"

She nearly bolted again, but paused for a sec when something caught her eye. A hat and a staff was leaning inconspicuously against the wall.

A grey pointed hat and a knobbly looking wooden staff.

It clicked in her mind.

She grabbed them and ran, heading to what she hoped was the general direction of the balcony.

Someone up there must of liked her, she found it quickly and ran out into it, stopping. She looked up the long long way to the top of the tower, hoping she could see something.

It was a full moon that night, and the tower was illuminated with its soft white glow.

For a brief second, a figure seemed to hang over the edge, feet barely touching the towers tip. Mel held her breath.

It was gone again in a second, and Mel caught the very slight sound of something impacting hard with the tower roof.

They're up there, they're fighting.

Something seemed to dim the moon's glow for a second. Mel glanced at it and gaped. The silhouette of a huge eagle was there briefly, before disappearing in a flash.

"the bat signal!"

She couldn't help but start to grin. She saw the bird circle the tower, someone leaping onto its back from above.

It suddenly dived, heading for her. Mel readied herself. She only had one chance at this, she couldn't afford to make a mistake. It got closer and closer. Mel steadied herself, eyes on the target.

Finally, NOW!

She hesitated a second, before hurling the hat and staff at Gandalf.

She winced at the small THUNK

"OW Valar damnit! In the head!"

The eagle snagged the prize in its claws, since Gandalf was cursing a blue streak and didn't seem to want to catch his property. Mel noted that a few choice words he used were somehow familiar.

I'm a bad influence, I taught a wizard how to curse worse than a sailor. Man I'm good.

They were there briefly, and suddenly they were gone, skimming over the land. They flew quickly, fading away fast, until they were gone. Free.

Mel laughed like crazy, clapping her hands, applauding them.

That was until she remembered the height.

"URP!"

"HEADS UP!"

A small, distressed wail drifted up to Mel's ears from below.

"Ooooh, right in the face. That one is going to leave a stain"

"You can actually see that far?" Mel asked, without turning around.

"Hey, our eyesight may not be as good as elves, but were sure as heck better than man's"

"For your information, I'm not a man! I'm a woman!"

"Yea yea…better get away from there, before you hurl again. I don't think those below would care very much for a repeat performance"

"I suppose so…." She edged away from the balcony, happy to be back inside.

"What are you doing here Charlie?"

"There was some talk of a crazy running around the place. I though I'd better get to you before Saruman does"

"Awww…you care. What's the catch?"

"I help you, I get immunity from your pranks, We both win"

Mel nodded.

"Yep, that's about it"

"We'd better get"

Mel followed without question, walking along quietly. Her black clothes helped her blend in easily, and Charlie had to glance back often to make sure she was actually still behind.

Finally the silence was broken.

"Why didn't you go?"

"Hu?" Mel looked up in surprise.

"You had your chance to escape. Why didn't you?"

Mel shrugged.

"Eh, I'm not THAT desperate to leave. Like hell I'm risking my neck by jumping onto a bird using steroids"

"Your risking your neck by staying hear"

"Naaah, at least this way I can still get wizard boy"

"You are a lunatic"

Mel bowed slightly, grinning.

"Why thank you"

*****************

The picture of Mel and Charlie walking along the halls of Isengard wavered slightly, rippling almost. It faded away and another picture appeared. One of Gandalf, flying still, passing snow covered mountains, approaching the borders of a dense forest. That picture too faded out, dispersing away like fog.

*****************

Mel skipped along the halls of Isengard, ginning smugly. She had something up her sleeve.

She should have been hiding but Mel was up to something, something important, and she didn't give a stuff about being caught at the moment. Of course she took precautions, making sure no one was there or back tracking if someone was. No need to take unnecessary risks now was there.

Mel peeked into a room and spotted a likely target. Was alone, seemed gullible, also looked mean as well. Oh well, couldn't win them all.

Mel sidled up behind the orc, hands behind back and pulling off a face that showed innocent, manipulative and damn well almost evil all at once.

The orc must of heard her coming, because he turned around quickly.

"Hey, aren't you that girl that everyone is after?"

Mel bowed.

"Indeed I am"

"What are you doing hear?"

"Talking to you apparently"

The orc seemed a bit miffed at that.

"I wouldn't act so smug if I were you"

"And if I were you I wouldn't have anything to be smug about"

"What do you mean by that!?"

"Nothing, nothing at all"

The orc growled, he was really beginning to hate this kid.

"Now look hear! I could easily go turn you in, and then you'd be in trouble"

"Wow, did you think that up all yourself? You must be proud"

"Now wait just a minuet! did you just insult me?"

"I haven't a clue, did I?"

"I think you did"

"Strange, didn't know you could think, wadda ya know you learn something knew every day"

"There you go again!"

"What?"

"Insulting me!"

Mel put on a shocked look, with a dash of outrage added for effect.

"I never.."

"You did!"

"When?"

"Just then!"

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't, just then I said 'I never' and unless you are a very strange orc who thinks saying 'I never' is insulting, then I never did!"

The orc by now was feeling slightly confused. Of course HE had never heard of Monty python or watched it continuously, so he was at a bit of a disadvantage in this situation. Mel was having much fun.

"Look you annoying pest, you did insult me before, you called me stupid"

"I did not, you just called yourself that. Though I might agree with you"

The orc blinked, thinking on this.

"You just did it again!"

"Did what?"

"Insulted me!"

"I was just agreeing with you. Are you telling me that if I agree with you on something because your right, it automatically means I've insulted you?"

"Yes….I mean no, wait…."

Mel was grinning her trademark grin now, looking very smug.

"YES!" The orc finally all but shouted out in answer. Mel applauded him.

"Bravo! You finally got it"

"Your mocking me now aren't you?"

"Took you long enough. That makes you slow as well as stupid you realise?"

"I am not stupid!"

"Prove it then! Translate this if your so smart!" Mel slapped a piece of paper into the orcs hand, on it were what looked suspiciously like nonsense squiggles copied out from some of Saruman's scrolls.

The orc resisted the urge to crumple it up and shove it town the teenagers throat.

"It says urk-hei. There!" He handed the paper back, looking slightly smug, arms crossed.

"THANKYOU!" Mel cried out happily, before running off out of sight, looking quit joyful.

The orc was left behind, blinking in shock. He had a sneaky suspicion that he had just unwittingly been tricked into helping that brat.

"Well damn"

**************

Mel paced along in the room with the cupboard, thinking furiously.

"So that's what had Gandalf so shocked. Man, if there was something I could do…no, no don't try it. Don't even THINK it, Gandy wouldn't of been so insistent if it wasn't something really bad. Really really bad……..how bad can it be? I mean, I've lived through the hell of children's programming every morning. Nothing can be worse than THAT!"

She shuddered, cringing.

"Oh gawd! I'm getting flashbacks"

She massaged her temples, willing the image to go away.

"Evil image, evil image"

Oh stuff the thinking, that wall over there looked suitably hard and inviting. Mel dived for it rugby style, desperate to get the singing, dancing tellitubbies out of her mind.

She ran into it hard, falling to the ground hard, dazed. Her vision was swimming and so was the image in her mind.

The tellitubbies wavered, blinked, and changed.

Now they were singing, dancing orcs dressed like ballerinas.

Her howls echoed through Isengard eerily, echoing out into the distance.

**************

It was surprising to note, that despite her very vocal opinion on the matter of Broadway cultural orcs, Mel still remained yet to be found. Apparently the screaming had froze everyone with shock, in which time she had a chance to slip back into the cupboard before a flood of orcs searched all over the tower to see her being murdered and cheer it on.

Mel gritted her teeth and waited impatiently from her shelf for the search to die down. She was kept distracted from the time as the orcs in her head gradually changed from swan lake to the ketchup dance, the ketchup song echoing in her mind. She moaned softly and covered her head with her arms, cursing her god awful rotten luck to have such a persistent imagination.

Gradually all the hubbub died down, and Mel reflected on the night so far. Quite interesting really.

She pulled her bag out from where her feet kept kicking it where she kept it hidden. Stuffing it under her head, she used it as a pillow. A rather bumpy jagged pillow that seemed to have something poking into her ear, but a pillow nother the less. It reminded her of home.

Home a wave of wistful longing churned in her stomach. She was beginning to miss her mum and older brother and younger sister and that old crazy who sat on the deserted bus stop every afternoon and threw coins at the pigeons. Yes, that man was very funny to watch on boring days, especially when he ran out of coins. Then out came the toffees. Ever seen a bird try to fly with toffee clogged feathers? It sent her giggling to no end.

She missed home.

She forced her thoughts to more pleasant things…like what she was planning to do. That sent her grinning happily as she settled down to snooze a bit.

Even so a tear made its way down her cheek slowly as she tried to sleep.

******************

It was day now, and Mel was wandering around again. Not many orcs were up now, something to do with the whole not liking the light thing. The tower gloomy dark interior didn't often have very much sunlight shining through, so light wasn't very much a problem, it had more to do with the fact that most orcs were nocturnal, and therefore liked to sleep during the day. This fact seemed to have slipped the minds of those Mel came across in her wandering, meaning she was sent diving behind objects/ through doors/ act-like-a-statue-and-pray quite a few times. She was getting quite good at it.

Right now she was skipping along a deserted hallway, feeling a song coming on. She opened her mouth to sing when.

WHAM

"…OW…" she looked at what hit her. She was met with a stomach. She looked up, up again, saw what it was and nearly fainted.

"oh……fudge….."

Mel could hazard a guess at what was so dangerous about the urk-hei now.

Looks like a G.I. Jo gorilla gone mouldy.

The urk-hei seemed to growl down at her, a clawed hand reaching out to grab her.

"Who are you!?"

"Just leaving!" Mel answered, turning tail and moving her arse out of there fast.

*********************

Mel somehow came across Charlie again, who was rather startled by her actions. After listening, he led her back to the cupboard with firm instructions to stay put while he tried to puzzle out the meaning of 'urk……big……evil…muuuung' with rapid hand movements.

It seemed clear that whatever it was, Mel wasn't a big fan of it.

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