Lost confused Unkind
Chapter 103
We ended up missing the entire show without realising! We sat out there half the damn night just talking, catching up & reliving old times! The subject had turned to Matt on more than one occasion & I had managed each time to change it as quickly as I could! I thought Jeff wouldn't notice but he had!
"You don't like to talk about him much do you?"
"Who?" I said innocently, knowing fine well who he was talking about!
He smiled, "Matt!"
"Oh...erm....well I guess I ah....I don't get much of a chance to talk about him really!"
"You could've talked about him to me tonight!" I hung my head, "Bec I don't get to talk about him much either & well I want to! I NEED to! Dad just....well he doesn't like to...."
"It hurts too much Jeff!" I closed my eyes & sighed. God how was I meant to tell Jeff that I killed his brother? He would never forgive me if he knew the truth but the guilt was eating me up inside! I never was a very good liar!
"But it only hurts because you bottle it all up inside! If you talked..."
"Talking doesn't help me & it doesn't change anything! God all I've done is talk for the past few weeks! Doctors & shrinks, the entire UK fucking medical profession knows all about my life!"
"You could talk to strangers about it but not to me?"
"Nah....I filled them full of bullshit actually!" Jeff smiled & shook his head, "Even told one silly bitch I was a fucking pole dancer in Las Vegas!"
Jeff burst out laughing, "You ididot!"
"Ah ha! There you are! You missed the damn show!" Sasha sat her ass down next to mine & lit a cigarette, "I'm not um...interrupting anything am I?"
"No! Just talking!" I smiled, "How was the show?"
"Awesome as usual! Oh except Adam got a stink face!"
"Oh what a shame!" Jeff said sarcastically & I shot him a look!
"Yeah I told him if he thinks I'm kissin' that mouth tonight he can think again!"
I cleared my throat nervously, "Erm....where is Adam gonna be staying tonight by the way?"
"At the hotel! Oh I am too....if you don't mind?"
"No! No! Not at all! Come to think of it where are you staying?" I turned to Jeff.
"Oh ah..."
"At your place! Erm is that ok? Just we kinda arranged it?" Sasha looked at me sheepishly.
"No that's fine! My two favourite guys in one place!" I smiled & stood up, "Talking of which I'd better go & find ole Rocky!"
"Ok I'll be in when I've finished this smoke!" I smiled & left Sasha & Jeff outside while I went in to look for Dwayne.
Sods law the first person I bump into is Adam!
"Hey! Can we talk?" he opened the door to an empty locker room & I eyed him suspiciously before going inside. He cleared his throat, "I'm sorry! What happened before I..."
"Adam look we were so lucky it was Jeff & not Sasha that walked in on us! What were you thinking?"
"I wasn't thinking that was the problem!" he hung his head, "I didn't mean what I said & I'm sorry for putting you in that position!"
I sighed, "So what the hell possessed you to do something like that? Do you realise you almost threw away your whole relationship with someone that's head over heels for you man?"
"She is?" he smiled.
"Yeah she is!" I smiled despite the fact that I wanted to punch his lights out!
"I dunno.....I haven't seen you in so long and....well it was just wrong & it won't happen again! Not with you or anyone else!"
"You mean you were letting your dick lead the way?" He looked down at the floor, "GOD! Men are so predictable!"
"It won't happen again Bec I swear! I don't wanna lose her! I mean that!"
When he looked up at me I knew he was telling the truth & my anger subsided a little! "Ok Adam but I swear if you ever try to pull this crap again...."
"I won't I promise!"
I nodded slowly, "We need to be friends me & you y'know?"
"Yeah I know! I can if you can?"
"Yeah for Sasha's sake I will put up with your ugly mush!" I prodded him & he smiled.
"Friends then?" He held out his hand & I shook it.
"You're on probation Copeland!" I raised my eyesbrows at him & he nodded as I left the room to go & find Dwayne.
I was actually looking forward to having both him & Jeff at my house for the night! If Shannon could have come too it would have been perfect but no way was I putting up with Sara's crap all night, not even for Shan! I decided it was totally out of my hands, none of my business! Sure he was a good friend but he was old enough to look out for himself & make his own mistakes! If and when she broke his heart....then I would kick her ass! Until then Shannon was on his own! I had enough to deal with!
Chapter 103
We ended up missing the entire show without realising! We sat out there half the damn night just talking, catching up & reliving old times! The subject had turned to Matt on more than one occasion & I had managed each time to change it as quickly as I could! I thought Jeff wouldn't notice but he had!
"You don't like to talk about him much do you?"
"Who?" I said innocently, knowing fine well who he was talking about!
He smiled, "Matt!"
"Oh...erm....well I guess I ah....I don't get much of a chance to talk about him really!"
"You could've talked about him to me tonight!" I hung my head, "Bec I don't get to talk about him much either & well I want to! I NEED to! Dad just....well he doesn't like to...."
"It hurts too much Jeff!" I closed my eyes & sighed. God how was I meant to tell Jeff that I killed his brother? He would never forgive me if he knew the truth but the guilt was eating me up inside! I never was a very good liar!
"But it only hurts because you bottle it all up inside! If you talked..."
"Talking doesn't help me & it doesn't change anything! God all I've done is talk for the past few weeks! Doctors & shrinks, the entire UK fucking medical profession knows all about my life!"
"You could talk to strangers about it but not to me?"
"Nah....I filled them full of bullshit actually!" Jeff smiled & shook his head, "Even told one silly bitch I was a fucking pole dancer in Las Vegas!"
Jeff burst out laughing, "You ididot!"
"Ah ha! There you are! You missed the damn show!" Sasha sat her ass down next to mine & lit a cigarette, "I'm not um...interrupting anything am I?"
"No! Just talking!" I smiled, "How was the show?"
"Awesome as usual! Oh except Adam got a stink face!"
"Oh what a shame!" Jeff said sarcastically & I shot him a look!
"Yeah I told him if he thinks I'm kissin' that mouth tonight he can think again!"
I cleared my throat nervously, "Erm....where is Adam gonna be staying tonight by the way?"
"At the hotel! Oh I am too....if you don't mind?"
"No! No! Not at all! Come to think of it where are you staying?" I turned to Jeff.
"Oh ah..."
"At your place! Erm is that ok? Just we kinda arranged it?" Sasha looked at me sheepishly.
"No that's fine! My two favourite guys in one place!" I smiled & stood up, "Talking of which I'd better go & find ole Rocky!"
"Ok I'll be in when I've finished this smoke!" I smiled & left Sasha & Jeff outside while I went in to look for Dwayne.
Sods law the first person I bump into is Adam!
"Hey! Can we talk?" he opened the door to an empty locker room & I eyed him suspiciously before going inside. He cleared his throat, "I'm sorry! What happened before I..."
"Adam look we were so lucky it was Jeff & not Sasha that walked in on us! What were you thinking?"
"I wasn't thinking that was the problem!" he hung his head, "I didn't mean what I said & I'm sorry for putting you in that position!"
I sighed, "So what the hell possessed you to do something like that? Do you realise you almost threw away your whole relationship with someone that's head over heels for you man?"
"She is?" he smiled.
"Yeah she is!" I smiled despite the fact that I wanted to punch his lights out!
"I dunno.....I haven't seen you in so long and....well it was just wrong & it won't happen again! Not with you or anyone else!"
"You mean you were letting your dick lead the way?" He looked down at the floor, "GOD! Men are so predictable!"
"It won't happen again Bec I swear! I don't wanna lose her! I mean that!"
When he looked up at me I knew he was telling the truth & my anger subsided a little! "Ok Adam but I swear if you ever try to pull this crap again...."
"I won't I promise!"
I nodded slowly, "We need to be friends me & you y'know?"
"Yeah I know! I can if you can?"
"Yeah for Sasha's sake I will put up with your ugly mush!" I prodded him & he smiled.
"Friends then?" He held out his hand & I shook it.
"You're on probation Copeland!" I raised my eyesbrows at him & he nodded as I left the room to go & find Dwayne.
I was actually looking forward to having both him & Jeff at my house for the night! If Shannon could have come too it would have been perfect but no way was I putting up with Sara's crap all night, not even for Shan! I decided it was totally out of my hands, none of my business! Sure he was a good friend but he was old enough to look out for himself & make his own mistakes! If and when she broke his heart....then I would kick her ass! Until then Shannon was on his own! I had enough to deal with!