Bakura: Master Male-Nurse from the Stars and Beyond!
A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild
Author's Notes:
Well, look who's back from the dead! (Being a statement that many authors' use when they haven't updated a story in a while. Woo! I'm falling in with the rest of the crowd!) Okay, I think I told two people that I was going to rewrite the first chapter, and then I would continue this story. Well…I didn't feel like writing it over again. So…yeah. This chapter is for everyone who kept asking me when I was going to update it. Thank you, for you were the motivation I needed to go completely insane and actually write a semi-good chapter. Go you!
Disclaimer: For further notes, see my other disclaimers.
Chapter Two: That Darn Medicine Run (Woo! I rhymed!)
Bakura stepped out of the house and stopped. He suddenly remembered something.
"What kind of medicine do you get someone who's sick?!" Bakura shouted to no one. He looked towards the mailbox and sighed with relief. The mailbox always had great ideas. Bakura wanted to stuff something down Malik's pants a few weeks ago, and when he opened the mailbox he found a centipede. Woo boy, Malik sure didn't like that idea, Bakura smiled. He opened the mailbox and pulled out a few envelopes and a magazine.
"Third notice, third notice," Bakura mumbled, rummaging through some bills. "Ooh, second notice!" He tossed that envelope behind his shoulder and turned to a magazine.
Mommy's Weekly
Bakura raised his eyebrow and flipped through it before landing on an article.
Is your child sick? Here's a few ways to make him feel better!
"…GENIUS!" Bakura yelled happily, and continued his walk to the store.
***
God, I'm bored.
Ryou sighed and looked over to the digital clock on his bed stand. He groaned exasperatedly and rolled over, staring up at the ceiling. Bakura had only been gone for about ten minutes. He probably wasn't even at the store yet.
This sucks. Ryou thought. He heard the phone ring from the kitchen and groaned again.
"Damn." Ryou said out loud. He got out of bed and slowly walked to the kitchen. He picked the phone up off of its handle. "Hello?"
"Hey Ryou!"
Ryou rolled his eyes. "Hey Malik. What's up?"
"Nothing." The Egyptian boy answered. "You still sick?"
Damn, word travels fast in a small town. "Yeah." Ryou answered, putting his hand over his forehead.
"Okay."
"…Yep."
"…"
And then there was silence.
***
"Hmm, says here I should get him some medicine that caters to his symptoms." Bakura read from the magazine. He looked up and down the medicine aisle to see hundreds of different cold pills and liquid medicine. Bakura frowned.
"Excuse me, sir, may I help you?" Said a teenage girl with blonde hair next to him. Bakura raised his eyebrow.
"I guess." He answered. "I'm looking for some medicine."
"What kind?"
"Um…" Bakura thought for a minute. "I need some medicine that will make my Aibou stop throwing up all over my car." He stated abruptly. The girl stared at him blankly.
"Um…we have some Tylenol…" She said slowly.
"…BRILLIANT!" Bakura yelled, swiping a few bottle off of the shelf. The employee girl picked up a pink bottle from off the shelf.
"If your 'Aibou' is throwing up, you can also give them some Pepto-Bismal." She suggested. Bakura stared at the bottle.
"I don't know…my Aibou is girly enough. I don't think I want him drinking anything pink." Bakura walked out of the aisle and looked at the magazine again.
"Hmm, now is says that I should get him some Popsicles if his throat is sore." Bakura read. "Is his throat sore? Oh well." Bakura picked up a few boxes and put them in the cart. He referred to the magazine again.
"Now it says I should get him a present, something to cheer him up." Bakura thought for a moment. "Hmm, what do you get an effeminate fifteen-year old with the flu?" He suddenly smiled as the answer came to him. "Oh yeah, DRACO MALFOY DOLL!" He hurried down the toy aisle until he came upon Harry Potter's arch nemesis, in doll form.
"Ryou loves this presumptuous bastard." Bakura said with a smile. He laid it down in his cart and, with a quick look down the aisle, put another one in for himself. "You sexy pure-blood, you…" Bakura giggled like a ten-year old girl at a slumber party and hurried out of the toy section.
***
"-So then I says to him, I says, 'Squirrel? TRY MONGOOSE, DUMBASS!'" Malik exclaimed loudly into the phone. Ryou rolled his eyes and got up from the chair he was sitting in and went into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water.
"You still there, Ryou?" Malik asked.
"Yeah." Ryou answered, sitting back down.
"Oh." Malik went silent for a minute. "You still gay?"
Ryou blinked. "What?"
"Nevermind."
"Malik?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to go throw up, can I call you back?"
"Sure."
"Okay. Talk to you later." Ryou hung up the phone and smiled. God, that was easy. I think I'll do that next time Anzu calls- oh, wait, I really DO need to throw up. That's creepy. Ryou got up and darted to the bathroom.
***
Bakura dumped all of his items near the cash register and waited for the cashier to ring them up.
"Okay, that'll be 35.95$." Bakura pulled out Seto's credit card from his pocket and handed it to the cashier. He looked at the name.
"You're not Seto Kaiba." The cashier announced.
"Yes I am." Bakura replied.
"No, you're not."
"Yes, I am."
"No, you're not!"
"Yes, I am!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"YOU ARE NOT SETO KAIBA!" The cashier yelled, slamming the credit card down on the table.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Bakura screamed back at him, grabbing him by his shirt. The cashier shrugged.
"Fine, fine, you're Seto Kaiba." He ran the credit card through the scanner and put his purchases in a bag. "Here, signed this." Bakura took the paper and pen.
"Uh, how do you spell 'Kaiba'?" He asked. The cashier handed him the credit card.
"It's right there." He pointed.
"Okay." Bakura signed the paper and handed it back, smirking. "Sucker."
***
Bakura opened the door to the house to see Ryou sitting by the kitchen table, drinking water and reading a comic book.
"I can see you." Bakura called out to him. Ryou shrieked and ran back to his room, jumping under the covers and pretending to be asleep. Bakura went and sat next to him on the side of Ryou's bed.
"Hey, Ryou, I got some medicine for you." He stated, dumping about five bottles of Tylenol on Ryou's bed. Ryou raised his eyebrow at them but said nothing. "And," Bakura went on, "I got some Popsicles for your sore throat. They're in the freezer."
"But," Ryou said, "my throat isn't sore."
"YOU'LL EAT THE POPSICLES AND YOU'LL LIKE THEM!" Bakura screamed. Ryou shrunk away and Bakura continued. "And, I also got you this." He handed Ryou the Malfoy doll. Ryou's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree on fire.
"I love you." Ryou murmured dreamily, hugging the doll to him. Bakura raised his eyebrow.
"Are you talking to me, or the doll?" He asked.
"You, Yami, of course." Ryou answered, still looking at the doll. Bakura rolled his eyes.
"Ryou, do us all a favor and lay off the drugs." He joked.
"You can't tell me what to do." Ryou stated with a frown. Bakura raised his eyebrow again.
"Ryou…just go to bed." Bakura shoved Ryou back down into bed and left, closing the door behind him. He shook his head. Sometimes I worry about that boy…Oh wait, no I don't. Bakura shrugged and went to watch 'Three's Company'.
-----------------
(A/N)
Yay! Stuff is finally starting to happen! GO STUFF! Um, yeah! What'll happen next? Two words: KILLER ACID SOUP! Oh wait, that's three words.
Chapter Three: "The Story of the Soup."
Thank you!