Bakura: Master Male-Nurse from the Stars and Beyond!
A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild
Author's Notes:
Man, a lot of people were surprised about the Draco Malfoy thing in the last chapter. Did it scare you guys or something? GOOD! THAT'S WHY I DID IT! Now you will be scared by this new chapter, which involves much craziness! TREMBLE IN IT'S WAKE! ARE YOU TREMBLING?! Good…NOW READ!
Disclaimer: Good God, no!
Chapter Three: The Story of the Soup"Come and knock on our door!" Bakura sang happily, bursting into Ryou's room to find the other boy lying in bed. Bakura frowned and sat next to him, shaking him hard. "I said, come and knock on our door!" He sang again. Ryou moaned and opened his eyes.
"Yami, I just fell asleep and-," He protested, but Bakura frowned angrily.
"COME-AND-KNOCK-ON-OUR-DOOR!"
Ryou rolled his eyes. "We've been waiting for you." He grumbled, without much enthusiasm. Bakura smiled.
"Where the kisses are HERS and HERS and HIS-!" He left out on the last part, waiting for Ryou to finish.
"I'm gonna throw up!" Ryou sang to the last part. Bakura raised his eyebrow.
"That's not how the song goes, Aibou." Bakura stated. Ryou rolled his eyes and fell back down into his pillow, pulling the covers over his face.
"Yami, in the name of all things holy and pure, please leave me alone." Ryou groaned. Bakura pulled the covers away from his face.
"Awww, wittle baby Ryou getting angwy?" Bakura cooed mockingly, poking Ryou in the forehead. Ryou moaned again and looked close to tears.
"YAMI, IF YOU HAD ANY OUNCE OF DECENCY IN YOU, YOU WOULD GO AWAY AND LET ME SLEEP!" Ryou cried. Bakura rolled his eyes and got up.
"Psssh, you're no fun." He grumbled. Nevertheless, he turned away and left Ryou alone in his room. Bakura stood in the hallway for a moment.
Damn, what am I going to do now? He turned around, slowly opening the door to Ryou's room and poking his head inside. "Ryou? Are you still sleeping?" He whispered.
"GO AWAY!" Ryou screamed, turning over angrily. Bakura jumped and slammed the door, hurrying down the hallway and into the living room. He plopped down on the couch and sighed, turning on the television and flipping through the channels.
"-And on the next, 'Martha Stuart Living', Martha loses all her funding and begins arranging fruit baskets in prison..."
"Boring." Bakura moaned, flipping to the next channel.
" 'Come on! I'll give you TWENTY BUCKS for the One Ring!' " Sauron pleaded with Frodo.
" 'Umm... how about no?' " Frodo replied sarcastically. Sauron sighed.
" 'Oh well, I guess you- HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!' " Sauron pointed over Frodo's shoulder.
" 'What?!' "
" 'YOINK!' " Sauron laughed, snatching the Ring from Frodo and running all the way to Mordor with it.
" 'Hey! Hey!' " Frodo screamed, trying to chase after him. He finally gave up and stamped his foot on the ground. " 'God damn it!' " He cried.
Bakura rolled his eyes and changed the channel again. "It's been done."
" '-And I'LL attack with…' " Draco smirked and raised his wand to Harry. " 'Tarantallegra!' "
" 'Oh yeah?' " Harry grinned. " 'Well, I COUNTER with…' " He paused for dramatic effect. " 'Rictusempra!' " Draco stood there, dumbfounded, before bursting into tears.
" 'I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU ANYMORE!' " Draco then turned and ran from the room, screaming and crying like a five year-old girl.
Bakura rolled his eyes. "God, television sucks." He clicked the television off and heard the doorbell ring. Bakura moaned and rolled his eyes again.
"I swear, if that's a Jehovah's Witness, I'M KICKING THEIR ASS!" Bakura walked to the door and opened it, revealing the one and only Yuugi Mutou. Yuugi blinked up at him awkwardly.
"Err, is Ryou home? I brought the rest of his school work so he can stay caught up." Yuugi explained, holding a few books and papers. Bakura raised his eyebrow.
"He's sleeping. Besides, if he's sick, he's not doing anything." Bakura began to close the door. "So, since you're such a good friend and all, why don't you do it for him?" Yuugi stuck out his foot and stepped into the hallway before Bakura closed the door. Bakura growled slightly but didn't protest.
"Ryou wouldn't want me to do that. And besides," Yuugi continued, beginning to look angry, "I don't approve of cheating, Mister 'I-Cheat-On-My-Urine-Sample -Test'."
Bakura snickered at Yuugi's weak insult. "Hey, just because your growth was stunted doesn't mean you have to take it out on me." Yuugi frowned.
"Was that a short joke?"
"Why, did it go over your head?" Bakura burst out laughing. "Now THAT'S a short joke!"
"My God, you're stupid." Yuugi made his way into the living room and plopped down on the couch. "Well, I guess you and I can do his homework, then you can go over it with him when he's feeling better." Bakura shrugged and sat next to him and Yuugi began pulling things out of his backpack. He handed a worksheet and a pencil to Bakura.
"What's this?" Bakura asked, holding the worksheet out in front of him like it was diseased.
"It's his math homework. It shouldn't be too hard. I mean, you watch T.V. all day, so you had to learn something." Yuugi stated. Bakura shrugged and bent over the paper, mumbling the questions under his breath while Yuugi started on the English work.
***
"Bakura, do you know another word for 'flabbergasted'?" Yuugi asked, looking over to the Spirit. Bakura looked up and began thinking.
"Uh, Godzilla?"
"Never mind."
"Hey, how many times were you beaten up by the Mafia last month?" Bakura asked.
"Seven times." Yuugi answered, erasing something. Bakura nodded and wrote that down on the math worksheet. He turned to Yuugi again.
"Uh huh, and what were the Pharaoh's gambling losses from February?" He asked.
"Five hundred dollars."
"Thanks." Just as these words escaped Bakura's mouth, he sensed Ryou waking up through their link.
"Uh, Yuugi, I think it's time you should go home." Bakura stood up and shoved the worksheets and books back into Yuugi's arms and began pushing him out the door. "Just finish these worksheets on your own and bring them by later, okay? Okay." Bakura slammed the door behind him.
Yuugi raised his eyebrow and looked to see how much work Bakura did, only to see the paper covered in sentences like, "The Pharaoh smells like a moose", and, "I like beer". Yuugi rolled his eyes and walked home.
***
"AAAAAHHHHHH!!! NO MORE POP-TARTS!!!" Ryou screamed, tossing and turning. Bakura burst in, sitting on the edge of the bed and shaking him roughly.
"Man, Ryou! Wake up!" He screamed. Ryou opened his eyes and canned the room crazily. Finally, he turned to Bakura and grabbed his face, as if to make sure he was real. Bakura frowned at the contact but didn't say anything.
"Oh, thank God it's you, Yami! I just had the weirdest nightmare!" Ryou gasped exasperatedly. "You were there," he pointed shakily at Bakura's face, "-and you were there, and you…" At this, Bakura began to really worry that the fever had driving Ryou crazy, because now the boy was pointing to invisible people around the room.
"Um, Aibou, there's only one me." Bakura stated. Ryou stared at him suspiciously.
"So there is…so there is…" Ryou muttered. Note to self: There is only one Bakura. He thought madly. Bakura raised his eyebrow and began to slowly push Ryou back down into the mattress.
"Um, Ryou, I think you should go back to bed. You've obviously have had a very busy day of CRAZY."
Ryou frowned and jerked back up, shoving Bakura's hand off of his chest. "I don't need this crap from you!" He snapped. "Before I met you I was just a scared little boy, living with my mean Aunt, Uncle and Cousin, just trying to live my life and make friends. And then one day I got a letter, and before I knew it I was swept away to be the hero of the Wizarding world, and I made friends and defeated the Dark Lord and-,"
"Okay, Ryou," Bakura placed his hand over Ryou's mouth to silence the boy's silly ramblings. "I have to stop you there. First off, that wasn't you, that was Harry Potter." Bakura stroked Ryou's hair in the 'You're-Insane-So-I-Pity-You' way. "And second, I'm going to go make you some soup, okay? Okay." He patted Ryou's cheek and walked out of the room, leaving a very confused and feverish Ryou alone in his bed.
***
Bakura looked down at the bubbling concoction in the pot in front of him. He sniffed it and stuck the wooden spoon in, stirring the soup gently until he was sure that everything was mixed and blended. Bakura smiled and pulled out the spoon, noticing that the half that was in the soup had miraculously disappeared. Bakura raised his eyebrow slightly, and then shrugged.
"It's done!" He called up the stairs, and a bedraggled Ryou stumbled out of his room, rubbing his eyes. He dropped in a chair at the kitchen table, supporting his head with his hands as Bakura went to get the soup. Bakura gave the soup in the pot a skeptical look before shoving it under Ryou's nose.
"Do you want this?" Bakura asked. Ryou took one look at the bubbling, hissing soup, gulped slightly and shook his head 'no'. Bakura shrugged and dropped the entire pot into the sink.
"Well, it's in there if you change your mind." Bakura stated before turning around and cleaning up the mess on the stove. Ryou moaned slightly and lowered his head onto the table. Bakura jerked around fearfully.
"You didn't eat that soup, did you? Because I was just kidding!" He cried. Ryou raised his head slightly.
"No." He answered. Bakura let out a sigh of relief and opened the refrigerator door.
"Well, you should eat something. I mean, you know what they say, 'You gotta eat.'" Ryou raised his eyebrow.
"Who says that?"
"They do."
"Who's 'they'?"
"…Listen Ryou, shouldn't you be in bed or something?" Bakura growled. Ryou shrugged and went upstairs. Bakura watched him go before grabbing something out of the refrigerator. "Hey Ryou!" He called. Ryou turned around just as Bakura tossed something to him. Ryou raised his eyebrow.
"Take a Pop-Tart." Bakura grinned as Ryou screamed at the remembrance of his nightmare, threw the Pop-Tart in the air and ran up the stairs. Bakura chuckled.
"God, he's fun when he's sick."
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(A/N)
Woo! Scared ya, didn't I? DIDN'T I?! Okie dokie! Well, stay tuned for the next chapter, when Ryou's father comes home and takes him and Bakura to the doctor's office! And also…VOMIT!
Chapter Four: "Flu on You!"
Thank you!