Top secret

By HermioneFan (duh)

Disclaimer: In this fic, I own…practically nothing ::sigh:: Except Bob, of course.

Author's note: I hope you like this fic, because I have spent weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks…you get the idea… writing it. Pleeeeease review! Flames welcome! Only don't flame me just for bringing Bob into existence. If you don't like her, that's tough.

My apologies to any Cho fans out there ::cough, weirdoes, cough::. I hate Cho with all my heart, and she does not feature in this fic at all.

I also apologise to fans of Lavender and Parvati. I see them as airheads, and so that is how they are portrayed.

***

Ginny Weasley sat bolt upright in bed, awake in an instant. "Brilliant." She whispered to herself, "Utterly brilliant." She swung herself out of bed, slipped her feet into a pair of fluffy pink slippers and crept across the room to wake her best friend.

"Bob! Bob! Wake up!" she whispered, shaking her by the shoulder. Roberta Granger (more commonly known as "Bob") opened her eyes sleepily. She reached for her glasses and put them on, and the sixth year Gryffindor girls' dorm jumped suddenly into focus.

"Wha- what is it?" she yawned. Then her Granger instinct kicked in and she glared at Ginny. "You know we're not allowed to be talking at…" she consulted her watch, "3 o'clock in the morning!" she whispered accusingly.

Ginny rolled her eyes.

In spite of their friendship, the two girls couldn't have been more different. They both had red hair, but Ginny's was long and wavy, and Bob's was cut short, and tied back in a practical ponytail. By now, in their sixth year, Ginny had outgrown her shyness, and was also extremely pretty, making her one of the most popular girls in the year among the male population of Hogwarts. She, however, still had eyes only for Harry, and only since last year, when Cho had been killed by Voldemort, had he begun to return her affection (Ginny furiously denied everything, of course, but Bob had a few pictures, taken with Colin Creevey's camera, of Ginny and Harry kissing behind the greenhouses, which she planned to use, if necessary, for blackmail at a later stage).

Bob, on the other hand, was almost unknown, even by the boys in her own year, and she liked it that way. She regarded the male species in general as "goggly-eyed vultures" to use her own words, with nothing better to do than talk about Quidditch and gape at girls.

Bob could be considered pretty, that is, if you squinted at her across the street on a misty day, but her strengths were in books, and so she couldn't care less.

Ginny sighed. "Yes, I know we're not allowed to talk, Bob. Lighten up!"

Bob pursed her lips, but said nothing, and Ginny continued, "Anyway, I've just come up with the brilliantest, most wonderfullest plan ever, and don't you dare correct my grammar." she added as Bob opened her mouth to speak.

"Can't you tell me in the morning?" Bob complained, glancing around as if she expected to see McGonagall swooping down on them at any minute.

"No!" hissed Ginny. "You see, I've been thinking- "

"That's a nice change," Bob commented.

Ginny glared at her. "As I was saying, I was thinking about how we're going to keep in touch when we leave school. I know we've still got a year at Hogwarts, but it's been bugging me all the same. Anyway, here's my plan. We make sure that my brother marries your sister…"

"…which would make us sisters-in-law!" finished Bob, excitedly. "You're a genius, Gin!"

"I know," replied Ginny, modestly.

"But," Bob frowned, "that could be very tricky. The two of them are, at present, ill disposed to converse with one another…"

Ginny groaned. "And if you translate that into English for us non-rocket scientists?"

"We non-rocket scientists," corrected Bob, automatically, and continued before Ginny could say anything: "What I said was, they're having another one of their fights, and, apart from the occasional screaming match, they haven't talked to each other for three weeks."

"Oh yes." said Ginny, "That could present a problem."

"And the fact that Hermione's going out with Terry Oot, or Root, or Boot or something. You know, the Head Boy."

"And Ron with Hannah Abbott." Ginny said

"Hannah Abbott? HANNAH ABBOTT? You mean the Hannah Abbott? Of Hufflepuff? With the pigtails?"

"Well, how many Hannah Abbotts do you know?"

"Is he mad? Or did he just have too many butterbeers?" queried Bob incredulously, her mouth hanging open, revealing her all too prominent Granger front teeth.

Ginny shrugged. "Must've done, I s'pose. Anyway, how's that for a brilliant plan?"

"Great," agreed Bob, "but it's 4:12am, and I would very much like to get some sleep before morning."

The next day, at breakfast, Bob whispered to Ginny, "If we're going to do this thing properly, we're going to need help from the masters of matchmaking themselves…"

"You don't mean…" Ginny shuddered.

"I'm afraid so." Bob nodded grimly.

"Isn't there anyone else?" pleaded Ginny.

"Do you know of anyone?"

Ginny sighed and began to butter a piece of toast. "All right. Parvati and Lavender it is."

That evening, in the common room, Bob and Ginny found Parvati and Lavender. It wasn't hard. Even at Hogwarts, there aren't many giggly, pink, fluffy Christmas trees lying around the castle, especially in early October. They made their way through the crowded common room towards what looked like a collection of anything pink, glittery or generally girly that had ever existed.

A year or two before, Lavender and Parvati had claimed one corner of the common room, and now no sane person dared approach. Copies of "Teen Witch Weekly" lay scattered about, as well as half-used lipsticks and nail polishes in various shades of pink and mauve.

Bob and Ginny edged nervously nearer. As they reached the edge of this pink paradise, Bob said nervously, "Er, Lavender? Parvati?"

Parvati, swathed in pink, swung round gracefully. "Yes?"

It was such a dramatic move, that Bob half expected her to add: "You have dared to enter the domain of the Giggly Ones. Behold, mortal…" Or something along those lines, but then she realised that there probably weren't so many words in Parvati's vocabulary.

"Well?" said Lavender impatiently. "We are very busy, you know."

Wow, gossiping must be harder work than we give them credit for, thought Ginny.

"We need help," said Bob.

"With matchmaking." added Ginny.

"Ooooh!" squealed Parvati and Lavender, shrilly. "Matchmaking!"

"Keep it down!" hissed Bob.

"So will you help us?" Ginny asked.

"Maybe," said Lavender, studying a set of perfectly manicured purple nails with a feigned lack of interest. "What will you give us if we do?"

"The latest gossip on Harry and Ginny." Bob blurted out, before her friend could stop her. Ginny kicked her, hard.

"Er, I mean, Harry and, er, Hannah, um, Abbott, of course. Did I say Ginny? I meant Hannah." Bob added, quickly and unconvincingly.

But Parvati and Lavender were not as slow on the uptake as most people thought (when gossip was involved, at least).

"Ooh, Harry and Ginny? Do tell." cooed Parvati.

Ginny went a furious shade of crimson even Lavender and Parvati's make up manufacturers had never heard of. She gave Bob a furious look, which said, all too clearly, "You just wait until I get my hands on you, Roberta Granger…"

Bob smiled sweetly, and passed an envelope into Lavender's claws. "This is for all the times you've set me up with Colin." she mouthed.

Lavender opened the envelope and gave an ear-piercing shriek, rivalled only by Parvati's, when she saw the photos of Harry and Ginny that Bob had taken. Then the pair of them collapsed (literally) into fits of giggles.

"Thank you, Bob." muttered Ginny, through gritted teeth.

"My pleasure." grinned Bob, and then, to Parvati and Lavender, "So can you help us?"

"All right," said Parvati. "I'd say these photos are a-, am-, am-, er…"

"Ample?" supplemented Bob.

"That's right! These are apple repayment for our worthwhile help."

"Meet us here tomorrow," continued Lavender, with the air of a benevolent queen, granting her lowliest subjects their deepest wish. "We'll tell you what to do."

***

A/N: Did you like it? If yes, review and tell me. If no, review and tell me anyway. It's good exercise for your fingers! Just press that li'l ol' button down there on the left. Tell me all my mistakes; spelling, grammar, plot etc. Flames are welcome, but constructive criticism will make me much happier, and you won't find yourself at the Slytherin/Hufflepuff (thanks Quiet One!) table in my next fic.

Aside from that, please tell me what you think of Cho Chang. I'm doing a sort of survey to see what other fanfic writers think of her. Just tell me, do you: love her/ hate her/ don't mind her?

Next chapter: Ron and Ginny have a fight, Lavender and Parvati give their "worthwhile" help, and Hermione finds a question she can't answer.