Disclaimers: I don't own them, blah, blah, blah. If you really want to sue
me for all I've got, you can have the three pennies I found in the couch
yesterday and my coupon for free French fries at McDonald's.
A/N: I wrote this fic way back in the days of S2. Sam, Ainsley and Mrs. L are all mentioned/in this fic. I tried going back and updating it, but it just didn't flow the same way. So, I hope you guys don't mind, and that you enjoy going back to S2!
I have been trying hard all day to come up with a good metaphor for how I feel right now. I've finally come to the conclusion, after three cups of tea and two Judy Garland movies, that there really isn't one. I'm just Donnatella Moss: A woman alone. A single entity. A lonely...oh forget it.
I'm tired of being deep and eloquent. Or at least trying to be deep and eloquent.
Here's the deal. You've all heard it before, so feel free to take a bathroom break. I am in love with my boss.
Yeah I know you all are bowled over with shock.
It took me three years to figure it out. Hence, the deep thoughts, cups of tea and Judy Garland movies. (Cause Judy never fails to cheer me up.) I figure, it must have happened in stages.
Stage one: Josh scares the hell out of me. Stay out of his way, and he won't bellow.
Stage two: Ok, avoiding him doesn't make the bellowing go away. I'll just sort of melt into the framework.
Stage three: Screw melting into the framework. My boss is a tyrant, if he doesn't let up soon, I'm going to tell him to shove it.
Stage four: Just told Josh where he can put the blue folder; I think I lost my job.
Stage five: Oh, he was kidding. Hey, this bantering thing is fun. Next time, I'll tell him where to put the coat rack.
Stage six: I like work and my boss, though he makes me work unholy hours.
Stage seven: Josh is with another woman. I don't care. He can do whatever he wants.
Stage eight: Like hell he can!
Stage nine: Why am I so jealous?
Stage ten: Oh, I'm in love with my boss.
Stage eleven: If I wait long enough, he'll realize he loves me too.
Stage twelve: Josh is a bastard. I'm through with him.
I'm almost through all the steps. Which really sucks, cause now I'm wallowing in self-pity. And the worst part is, only an hour ago, I was still on step ten. How did I advance so quickly? It's all because of my mother. No, I don't blame all my problems on my mother; this really is her fault. Allow me to enlighten you.
Most people when they see me, and hear I'm from Wisconsin, for some reason they like to think that my parents are either republican, hate the way I live my life or both.
They couldn't be more wrong.
My parents have always been very accepting, and really didn't care what my two older brothers and I did. As long as we didn't get arrested, maimed or dead, my parents supported us through everything. When my brother John was 7, his dream was to go to New York and put on shows with Liza Minelli. My parents humored him, and eventually he decided that the stage was not for him, and that he would rather be an accountant. When I quit school to help Dr. Freeride, my parents couldn't have been more furious with me, but they never said anything negative to me. And when I dumped him, they supported me. They are staunch democrats, and when they found out I was working for Bartlet's campaign, it was like I had given them grandchildren. So what's wrong with my parents you say? Guess what their names are. Come on, take a stab at it. Ok fine, I'll tell you.
They are Joshua and Donnatella Moss. How completely freakish and inhuman is that one? I was named after my mother, (go figure) and her side of the family enjoys odd names. My dad's side only names their children after ancestors, so I got the best of both worlds. This is the kicker though. They met Josh once at my birthday party, (they came all the way from Wisconsin just to spend my 29th birthday with me) and are convinced that it was fate he hired me.
I just think it's freakish and inhuman.
So what do my parents, more specifically my mother, have to do with the Joshua Lyman 12-step program? Plenty. First of all, she wants to come and visit me. Nothing special there. Second of all, my mother wants to play matchmaker. I know her. When she calls out of the blue asking about Josh one minute, and planning a trip to DC the next, you know something's up.
Oh yeah. And Josh is a bastard because my mother is shoving him on me like yesterday's meatloaf. Not to mention the fact that he loves my mother as much as she loves him. Let's also not forget to mention that I love him, and he could give a rat's patoot about me. Isn't life just grand?
A/N: I wrote this fic way back in the days of S2. Sam, Ainsley and Mrs. L are all mentioned/in this fic. I tried going back and updating it, but it just didn't flow the same way. So, I hope you guys don't mind, and that you enjoy going back to S2!
I have been trying hard all day to come up with a good metaphor for how I feel right now. I've finally come to the conclusion, after three cups of tea and two Judy Garland movies, that there really isn't one. I'm just Donnatella Moss: A woman alone. A single entity. A lonely...oh forget it.
I'm tired of being deep and eloquent. Or at least trying to be deep and eloquent.
Here's the deal. You've all heard it before, so feel free to take a bathroom break. I am in love with my boss.
Yeah I know you all are bowled over with shock.
It took me three years to figure it out. Hence, the deep thoughts, cups of tea and Judy Garland movies. (Cause Judy never fails to cheer me up.) I figure, it must have happened in stages.
Stage one: Josh scares the hell out of me. Stay out of his way, and he won't bellow.
Stage two: Ok, avoiding him doesn't make the bellowing go away. I'll just sort of melt into the framework.
Stage three: Screw melting into the framework. My boss is a tyrant, if he doesn't let up soon, I'm going to tell him to shove it.
Stage four: Just told Josh where he can put the blue folder; I think I lost my job.
Stage five: Oh, he was kidding. Hey, this bantering thing is fun. Next time, I'll tell him where to put the coat rack.
Stage six: I like work and my boss, though he makes me work unholy hours.
Stage seven: Josh is with another woman. I don't care. He can do whatever he wants.
Stage eight: Like hell he can!
Stage nine: Why am I so jealous?
Stage ten: Oh, I'm in love with my boss.
Stage eleven: If I wait long enough, he'll realize he loves me too.
Stage twelve: Josh is a bastard. I'm through with him.
I'm almost through all the steps. Which really sucks, cause now I'm wallowing in self-pity. And the worst part is, only an hour ago, I was still on step ten. How did I advance so quickly? It's all because of my mother. No, I don't blame all my problems on my mother; this really is her fault. Allow me to enlighten you.
Most people when they see me, and hear I'm from Wisconsin, for some reason they like to think that my parents are either republican, hate the way I live my life or both.
They couldn't be more wrong.
My parents have always been very accepting, and really didn't care what my two older brothers and I did. As long as we didn't get arrested, maimed or dead, my parents supported us through everything. When my brother John was 7, his dream was to go to New York and put on shows with Liza Minelli. My parents humored him, and eventually he decided that the stage was not for him, and that he would rather be an accountant. When I quit school to help Dr. Freeride, my parents couldn't have been more furious with me, but they never said anything negative to me. And when I dumped him, they supported me. They are staunch democrats, and when they found out I was working for Bartlet's campaign, it was like I had given them grandchildren. So what's wrong with my parents you say? Guess what their names are. Come on, take a stab at it. Ok fine, I'll tell you.
They are Joshua and Donnatella Moss. How completely freakish and inhuman is that one? I was named after my mother, (go figure) and her side of the family enjoys odd names. My dad's side only names their children after ancestors, so I got the best of both worlds. This is the kicker though. They met Josh once at my birthday party, (they came all the way from Wisconsin just to spend my 29th birthday with me) and are convinced that it was fate he hired me.
I just think it's freakish and inhuman.
So what do my parents, more specifically my mother, have to do with the Joshua Lyman 12-step program? Plenty. First of all, she wants to come and visit me. Nothing special there. Second of all, my mother wants to play matchmaker. I know her. When she calls out of the blue asking about Josh one minute, and planning a trip to DC the next, you know something's up.
Oh yeah. And Josh is a bastard because my mother is shoving him on me like yesterday's meatloaf. Not to mention the fact that he loves my mother as much as she loves him. Let's also not forget to mention that I love him, and he could give a rat's patoot about me. Isn't life just grand?