T-minus 2 hours until Operation Hortense goes into effect. (What? No one
would ever suspect something called "Operation Hortense to be a plot to out-
maneuver my mother and Josh.) CJ came up with many tasks for Josh, some of
which were particularly devious. I couldn't have done it better if I had
been orchestrating the whole thing myself. I will pick my mother up from
the airport, (my dad refuses to travel during the NBA playoffs. Just one of
the many eccentricities that make my father special) and take the long way
back to the White House. While I am gone, Leo will pile the work on Josh.
Work that will make him run from bullpen to sprawling bullpen. Thus, he and
my mother will never meet. That was the original plan.
Of course, nothing went right. I was later to learn that Operation Hortense was doomed from the start. I, however, was completely oblivious to CJ's behind the scenes work. Therefore, when seemingly legitimate work mysteriously popped up, 20 minutes before I had to pick up my mom, I simply cursed the White House Gods for once again foiling my plans. Amazingly, this extremely important assignment only affected Josh's office, because Sam was somehow able to pick my mother up from the airport while I was lost in a sea of index cards and flow charts.
My feeble hopes that CJ would still be able to keep my mother away from Josh were dashed as I saw Sam lead Mrs. Donnatella Moss proudly into Josh's office.
"Donna, I went to get your mom for you." Sam said with a big smile on his face.
"Really, I don't see why anyone needed to pick me up in the first place." my mother explained "I would have been perfectly fine taking a cab here. I don't know why you fuss over me so, Donna. Sam took good care of me, even though when he took my suitcase I thought he was mugging me." Sam turned bright red.
"Your mom swings a mean handbag, Donna." Sam said sheepishly as he rubbed his arm.
My mother just smiled at Sam and gave me a kiss on my cheek. "And who is this handsome young man?" my mother winked at Josh. "Josh, I swear you get more adorable each time I see you. Did you get the treats I sent you?"
"You sent Josh treats? You never send me treats!" Wonderful. My mother is sending Josh treats.
"Well, he just loved my cooking so much the last time I was here I had to send him some of my special rum balls. With extra rum." my mother grinned.
"They were delicious Mrs. Moss." Josh beamed.
"Now what did I say the last time you called me Mrs. Moss?" my mother said in a mock serious tone.
"That if I ever called you Mrs. Moss again, you would make me regret the day I was born a man."
"He's a smart boy, that one! Now don't forget again! You call me Donna for the rest of my visit. Or even better, call me mom." My mother grinned deviously.
"He'll call you Donna." I interjected before Josh could answer. My mother just smiled at me. "Do you want to go see CJ, mom?" I have to get her away from Josh.
"I will in a moment. I want to talk to Joshua for awhile first."
"Hi Donna!" CJ suddenly appeared at the door.
"Hi CJ." my mother and I answered simultaneously.
"Oh dear." my mother looked worried. "This could get confusing. I'll just go by mom for the rest of my visit. Is that ok Donna dear?"
Wonderful.
"Well, mom," CJ grinned at me. Not a good sign. "I was about to say you and Josh will have plenty of time to catch up, as we're all taking you out to dinner tonight."
CJ is just grinning at me, as I glare at her. Never underestimate the criminal mind, my friends. It will come back and bite you on the ass.
"Oh! How lovely!" my mother looks so happy, that I forget to be mad for a minute. She loves to spend time with my friends. I think it helps her feel better about aging. "The girls in my poker group taught me this new drinking game. We'll have to play it tonight. And I just want you to know, I can drink them all under the table." Did I say that my mom hangs out with my friends to feel younger? Sometimes I forget that I'm talking about my mother.
"Wow Donna!" Sam looks considerably impressed. "You didn't tell me you mom was a one woman frat party! It must be fun having her for a mom." he looked at my mom wistfully.
"Why thank you dear." my mother says calmly. "I'll be your pretend mom for the rest of the visit, how does that sound." Sam is positively glowing. The rest of the senior staff is favorably impressed with my mom. Even CJ a.k.a traitor to the sisterhood.
I can't wait for this visit to end.
Of course, nothing went right. I was later to learn that Operation Hortense was doomed from the start. I, however, was completely oblivious to CJ's behind the scenes work. Therefore, when seemingly legitimate work mysteriously popped up, 20 minutes before I had to pick up my mom, I simply cursed the White House Gods for once again foiling my plans. Amazingly, this extremely important assignment only affected Josh's office, because Sam was somehow able to pick my mother up from the airport while I was lost in a sea of index cards and flow charts.
My feeble hopes that CJ would still be able to keep my mother away from Josh were dashed as I saw Sam lead Mrs. Donnatella Moss proudly into Josh's office.
"Donna, I went to get your mom for you." Sam said with a big smile on his face.
"Really, I don't see why anyone needed to pick me up in the first place." my mother explained "I would have been perfectly fine taking a cab here. I don't know why you fuss over me so, Donna. Sam took good care of me, even though when he took my suitcase I thought he was mugging me." Sam turned bright red.
"Your mom swings a mean handbag, Donna." Sam said sheepishly as he rubbed his arm.
My mother just smiled at Sam and gave me a kiss on my cheek. "And who is this handsome young man?" my mother winked at Josh. "Josh, I swear you get more adorable each time I see you. Did you get the treats I sent you?"
"You sent Josh treats? You never send me treats!" Wonderful. My mother is sending Josh treats.
"Well, he just loved my cooking so much the last time I was here I had to send him some of my special rum balls. With extra rum." my mother grinned.
"They were delicious Mrs. Moss." Josh beamed.
"Now what did I say the last time you called me Mrs. Moss?" my mother said in a mock serious tone.
"That if I ever called you Mrs. Moss again, you would make me regret the day I was born a man."
"He's a smart boy, that one! Now don't forget again! You call me Donna for the rest of my visit. Or even better, call me mom." My mother grinned deviously.
"He'll call you Donna." I interjected before Josh could answer. My mother just smiled at me. "Do you want to go see CJ, mom?" I have to get her away from Josh.
"I will in a moment. I want to talk to Joshua for awhile first."
"Hi Donna!" CJ suddenly appeared at the door.
"Hi CJ." my mother and I answered simultaneously.
"Oh dear." my mother looked worried. "This could get confusing. I'll just go by mom for the rest of my visit. Is that ok Donna dear?"
Wonderful.
"Well, mom," CJ grinned at me. Not a good sign. "I was about to say you and Josh will have plenty of time to catch up, as we're all taking you out to dinner tonight."
CJ is just grinning at me, as I glare at her. Never underestimate the criminal mind, my friends. It will come back and bite you on the ass.
"Oh! How lovely!" my mother looks so happy, that I forget to be mad for a minute. She loves to spend time with my friends. I think it helps her feel better about aging. "The girls in my poker group taught me this new drinking game. We'll have to play it tonight. And I just want you to know, I can drink them all under the table." Did I say that my mom hangs out with my friends to feel younger? Sometimes I forget that I'm talking about my mother.
"Wow Donna!" Sam looks considerably impressed. "You didn't tell me you mom was a one woman frat party! It must be fun having her for a mom." he looked at my mom wistfully.
"Why thank you dear." my mother says calmly. "I'll be your pretend mom for the rest of the visit, how does that sound." Sam is positively glowing. The rest of the senior staff is favorably impressed with my mom. Even CJ a.k.a traitor to the sisterhood.
I can't wait for this visit to end.