Authors Note: Okay so this is one of my first fic's. Well sort of I wrote one and accidentally deleted it but I'm going to try to get it back up. Anyways so this is kinda similar to that one. Its Carby. Just read and review.
PROLOGUE-
-----------------------------------
*half* of me is here
Yet *half* is in your Heart
So where do I start
to tell you that?
------------------------------------
I guess, what it boils down to is that I've always been more afraid to admit how I feel then, actually feel it. Once you let that guard down its all out there. He knows and I know. The hiding is over. Never can I hide my true self from him again. The truth is, men, they come and go, but my family, my family- no matter how crazy and loose they are they, well I guess they are always there in some way or another, as I am for them. Men are unpredictable you never know when your baggage will get too much for them to handle and I think that happened with us. My luggage, baggage, my past, the present everything that I had, that could cause problems inevitably did that. I learned to read in between the lines with John. He said one thing but meant another. He beat around the bush so to speak. I don't think Carter could ever really love me. He could love who he wanted me to be. But not who I am. My brother though he loves me for me. Crazy, drunken, self pitying Abby. I am good enough for him. I think that is why I went to him instead of being there for Carter. Don't get me wrong, I wanted so badly to be there for him like he has for me. But this time caused for me to go with Eric to help him just like he would for me. So now Carters gone. As am I. I left, him, Chicago and the pain and life I have lived here. I guess I was wiping my hands of everything that has ever happened here, and moving to New York. I don't know why I choose New York but I did. Not only did I move to New York, but so did my babies. I left Carter pregnant. Carter, would be a good father. No doubt in my mind, but the children would be ours together, so flaws are a given. My main issue keeping my twins around Carter was, what if they had issues themselves, such as drugs or alcohol. How would he deal with it. Would he try to change them like he did me? Would he leave them in their time of need? I wasn't sure, I didn't want to risk it.
So I moved to New York Island, calling weaver from there and quitting, before Carter could get back and try to stop me or find out where I am.
----------------------------
One day we'll wave
Hello and wish we'd
never waved goodbye.
----------------------------
PROLOGUE-
-----------------------------------
*half* of me is here
Yet *half* is in your Heart
So where do I start
to tell you that?
------------------------------------
I guess, what it boils down to is that I've always been more afraid to admit how I feel then, actually feel it. Once you let that guard down its all out there. He knows and I know. The hiding is over. Never can I hide my true self from him again. The truth is, men, they come and go, but my family, my family- no matter how crazy and loose they are they, well I guess they are always there in some way or another, as I am for them. Men are unpredictable you never know when your baggage will get too much for them to handle and I think that happened with us. My luggage, baggage, my past, the present everything that I had, that could cause problems inevitably did that. I learned to read in between the lines with John. He said one thing but meant another. He beat around the bush so to speak. I don't think Carter could ever really love me. He could love who he wanted me to be. But not who I am. My brother though he loves me for me. Crazy, drunken, self pitying Abby. I am good enough for him. I think that is why I went to him instead of being there for Carter. Don't get me wrong, I wanted so badly to be there for him like he has for me. But this time caused for me to go with Eric to help him just like he would for me. So now Carters gone. As am I. I left, him, Chicago and the pain and life I have lived here. I guess I was wiping my hands of everything that has ever happened here, and moving to New York. I don't know why I choose New York but I did. Not only did I move to New York, but so did my babies. I left Carter pregnant. Carter, would be a good father. No doubt in my mind, but the children would be ours together, so flaws are a given. My main issue keeping my twins around Carter was, what if they had issues themselves, such as drugs or alcohol. How would he deal with it. Would he try to change them like he did me? Would he leave them in their time of need? I wasn't sure, I didn't want to risk it.
So I moved to New York Island, calling weaver from there and quitting, before Carter could get back and try to stop me or find out where I am.
----------------------------
One day we'll wave
Hello and wish we'd
never waved goodbye.
----------------------------