Lost Confused Unkind
Chapter 122
"What did he say?" Shawn led me to the bed. I couldn't answer him I was so shaken up! It was just the worst thing Mick could do to me & he knew it! Shawn took my hand in both of his & rubbed it gently."Hey come on! You're shaking! Jesus what did he say?" He put his arm around my shoulders.
"He's trying to drive me crazy!" I whispered & ran a hand through my hair "I'm going crazy! I swear I can't take much more of this! I can't do it!" I started crying again & Shawn pulled me close.
"Shh....take a deep breath & tell me what happened."
I took a deep breath, "The phone started ringing and it was that cheesy Guns N'Roses ringtone and.."
"I don't have a Guns N' Roses ringtone!" Shawn looked at me & I knew he wasn't joking!
"But it was Guns N'....it was Sweet chi.....oh God!" I stood up & grabbed my hair, "It was one of Mick's songs! He used to sing it all the t....." I looked up at the celing.
"Ok calm down!"
"CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN?! I MEAN HOW IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING? I MEAN HOW THE FUCK.........I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!" I threw open the patio doors & stepped out onto the balcony, "WELL COME ON YOU SON OF A BITCH! IM HERE! PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY YOU BASTARD!" I screamed at the sky, "COME ON! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? NOT EASY ENOUGH?"
"Bec come back inside!"
"HERE! I'LL MAKE IT EASIER MOTHER FUCKER!" I climbed up onto the rail, tears streaming down my face & I slowly stood up, balancing on the rail in my bare feet! "COME ON YOU CHICKEN SHIT WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? HUH?! IM HERE! DO IT! DO IT!!"
"BEC!!!!!! JESUS!" Shawn grabbed my legs & I slipped and fell into his arms sobbing. He carried me back inside.
"Leave me alone!" I thumped at his chest! "Just leave me......" he held me tight.
"Ok it's alright! It's ok now!"
"It's never going to be ok Shawn don't you see?" I sobbed, "He won't leave me alone!"
"He will! Shhh..." he stroked my hair.
"He won't leave me! He'll hurt everyone that I ca....." I looked up at him, "I have to go!" I raced for the door but he caught my arm, "Let me go please Shawn!" I pulled as hard as I could.
"Calm down!"
"I have to get out of here!" I sobbed, "He'll hurt you! Let me ..............go!" I yanked my arm free from his grip & turned only to run straight into Jeff! He grabbed me & I fought him at first not really sure it was him, not really thinking straight at all! He held onto me until I stopped fighting & realised who it was. He looked at Shawn as I sobbed into his chest & Shawn just nodded slowly. Jeff squeezed his eyes shut & kissed my forehead as he held me to him as tight as he could.
"It's gonna be ok. I'm here now it's alright!" he said quietly.
*******
I don't remember much about the next couple of hours, my mind just seemed to shut down! I remember taking pills from a guy in an awful brown suit and I remember Jeff & Shawn talking in hushed voices! My last thought before my eyes closed was 'That's it! I'm gone! I'm crazy!'
*******
When I finally opened my eyes everything was blurry & I put a hand to my head.
"Hey! How are you feeling?"
"Jeff?" I tried to sit up & he helped me, putting a pillow behind my back. "Am I at the hospital?"
"No babe! You're still at the hotel!" He bushed some hair from my forehead & as I blinked he finally came into focus but I still felt groggy! I knew what the feeling was straight away!
"Pills?" I groaned, "They gave me pills again!" I closed my eyes & smiled, "And you let them! You called them didn't you?"
"You were freaking out I didn't know what to do!"
I laughed quietly "You think like the doctors? That I'm crazy?"
"No! I just needed you to calm down!" he squeezed my hand, "You scared the shit out of me and then when Shawn tells me you almost threw yourself off the god damn balcony....' he sighed & hung his head, "...Jesus Bec don't ever do that to me!"
I closed my eyes, "What else has Shawn been telling you?"
"About the phonecall this morning........it was Matt wasn't it?"
My eyes shot open, "How did you.....I never told Shawn that it was...."
"Because I had one last weekend." he ran a hand through his hair, "That's how Shawn & I pretty much figured out what was goin on yesterday and that's why I got out of hospital as soon as I could this morning."
"That's why Shawn was watching me last night?" I whispered & he nodded. "why didn't you tell me?"
"Why?" Jeff raised his eyebrows, "It's not every day a guy gets a call from someone that sounds like his dead brother...." he sighed, "I didn't tell anyone, well not until Shawn & I had our conversation about Steve yesterday then it all kinda came flooding out!"
"So Shawn already knew everything?" Jeff nodded, "Jesus what are we supposed to do? I mean 3 of us!" I lay my head back onto the pillow, "They will have us all commited, all 3 of us!"
"Make that 4!" I looked up quickly to see Shawn closing the door as Shane walked into the room.
"Shane!" Jeff stood up & looked at Shawn.
"Strength in numbers so they say?" Shane forced a smile & stood looking at us with his hands in his pockets.
"Dwayne took a little bit more convincing than this shit head mind you!" Shawn patted Shane on the shoulder.
"You've seen Dwayne?" I got up off the bed.
"Yeah he'll be out as soon as I get there to pick him up!"
"Today?" Shawn nodded. "Woah woah! Wait a minute!" I put a hand to my forehead, "How long was I asleep & where is everyone else?"
"3 hours or so! Everyone else is gone!" Jeff said as he stood up.
"So why the hell are you still here?" I looked at Shane.
"Well seems I eat in the same restaurants as Shawn here!" He patted his stomach. Shawn smiled & picked up his keys.
"I won't be long!"
"I'm comming with you!"
"NO YOU ARE NOT!" The three of them all snapped at me. I looked around at them & realised it was hopeless to argue!
"I need a cigarette!" I grabbed my purse & went out onto the balcony.
Chapter 122
"What did he say?" Shawn led me to the bed. I couldn't answer him I was so shaken up! It was just the worst thing Mick could do to me & he knew it! Shawn took my hand in both of his & rubbed it gently."Hey come on! You're shaking! Jesus what did he say?" He put his arm around my shoulders.
"He's trying to drive me crazy!" I whispered & ran a hand through my hair "I'm going crazy! I swear I can't take much more of this! I can't do it!" I started crying again & Shawn pulled me close.
"Shh....take a deep breath & tell me what happened."
I took a deep breath, "The phone started ringing and it was that cheesy Guns N'Roses ringtone and.."
"I don't have a Guns N' Roses ringtone!" Shawn looked at me & I knew he wasn't joking!
"But it was Guns N'....it was Sweet chi.....oh God!" I stood up & grabbed my hair, "It was one of Mick's songs! He used to sing it all the t....." I looked up at the celing.
"Ok calm down!"
"CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN?! I MEAN HOW IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING? I MEAN HOW THE FUCK.........I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!" I threw open the patio doors & stepped out onto the balcony, "WELL COME ON YOU SON OF A BITCH! IM HERE! PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY YOU BASTARD!" I screamed at the sky, "COME ON! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? NOT EASY ENOUGH?"
"Bec come back inside!"
"HERE! I'LL MAKE IT EASIER MOTHER FUCKER!" I climbed up onto the rail, tears streaming down my face & I slowly stood up, balancing on the rail in my bare feet! "COME ON YOU CHICKEN SHIT WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? HUH?! IM HERE! DO IT! DO IT!!"
"BEC!!!!!! JESUS!" Shawn grabbed my legs & I slipped and fell into his arms sobbing. He carried me back inside.
"Leave me alone!" I thumped at his chest! "Just leave me......" he held me tight.
"Ok it's alright! It's ok now!"
"It's never going to be ok Shawn don't you see?" I sobbed, "He won't leave me alone!"
"He will! Shhh..." he stroked my hair.
"He won't leave me! He'll hurt everyone that I ca....." I looked up at him, "I have to go!" I raced for the door but he caught my arm, "Let me go please Shawn!" I pulled as hard as I could.
"Calm down!"
"I have to get out of here!" I sobbed, "He'll hurt you! Let me ..............go!" I yanked my arm free from his grip & turned only to run straight into Jeff! He grabbed me & I fought him at first not really sure it was him, not really thinking straight at all! He held onto me until I stopped fighting & realised who it was. He looked at Shawn as I sobbed into his chest & Shawn just nodded slowly. Jeff squeezed his eyes shut & kissed my forehead as he held me to him as tight as he could.
"It's gonna be ok. I'm here now it's alright!" he said quietly.
*******
I don't remember much about the next couple of hours, my mind just seemed to shut down! I remember taking pills from a guy in an awful brown suit and I remember Jeff & Shawn talking in hushed voices! My last thought before my eyes closed was 'That's it! I'm gone! I'm crazy!'
*******
When I finally opened my eyes everything was blurry & I put a hand to my head.
"Hey! How are you feeling?"
"Jeff?" I tried to sit up & he helped me, putting a pillow behind my back. "Am I at the hospital?"
"No babe! You're still at the hotel!" He bushed some hair from my forehead & as I blinked he finally came into focus but I still felt groggy! I knew what the feeling was straight away!
"Pills?" I groaned, "They gave me pills again!" I closed my eyes & smiled, "And you let them! You called them didn't you?"
"You were freaking out I didn't know what to do!"
I laughed quietly "You think like the doctors? That I'm crazy?"
"No! I just needed you to calm down!" he squeezed my hand, "You scared the shit out of me and then when Shawn tells me you almost threw yourself off the god damn balcony....' he sighed & hung his head, "...Jesus Bec don't ever do that to me!"
I closed my eyes, "What else has Shawn been telling you?"
"About the phonecall this morning........it was Matt wasn't it?"
My eyes shot open, "How did you.....I never told Shawn that it was...."
"Because I had one last weekend." he ran a hand through his hair, "That's how Shawn & I pretty much figured out what was goin on yesterday and that's why I got out of hospital as soon as I could this morning."
"That's why Shawn was watching me last night?" I whispered & he nodded. "why didn't you tell me?"
"Why?" Jeff raised his eyebrows, "It's not every day a guy gets a call from someone that sounds like his dead brother...." he sighed, "I didn't tell anyone, well not until Shawn & I had our conversation about Steve yesterday then it all kinda came flooding out!"
"So Shawn already knew everything?" Jeff nodded, "Jesus what are we supposed to do? I mean 3 of us!" I lay my head back onto the pillow, "They will have us all commited, all 3 of us!"
"Make that 4!" I looked up quickly to see Shawn closing the door as Shane walked into the room.
"Shane!" Jeff stood up & looked at Shawn.
"Strength in numbers so they say?" Shane forced a smile & stood looking at us with his hands in his pockets.
"Dwayne took a little bit more convincing than this shit head mind you!" Shawn patted Shane on the shoulder.
"You've seen Dwayne?" I got up off the bed.
"Yeah he'll be out as soon as I get there to pick him up!"
"Today?" Shawn nodded. "Woah woah! Wait a minute!" I put a hand to my forehead, "How long was I asleep & where is everyone else?"
"3 hours or so! Everyone else is gone!" Jeff said as he stood up.
"So why the hell are you still here?" I looked at Shane.
"Well seems I eat in the same restaurants as Shawn here!" He patted his stomach. Shawn smiled & picked up his keys.
"I won't be long!"
"I'm comming with you!"
"NO YOU ARE NOT!" The three of them all snapped at me. I looked around at them & realised it was hopeless to argue!
"I need a cigarette!" I grabbed my purse & went out onto the balcony.