Disclaimer: The Mighty Ducks aren't my property. Only Cece, Faith and
William are. Lightening is property of Sydney Stephens and used with love
and permission.
Author Note: I don't know where I've re-vamped this, but here's the newest version of this chapter.
CHAPTER ONE: LIVING WITHOUT HER
Walking down the street holding that handle tore my soul apart with each step. I kept on staring at the back of Canard's head, thinking of what her life could be like if it was me dead. Canard cared for her as much I did. Cece, when she was alive, knew she couldn't compete with Faith. But ultimately, I was the one she chose. It's driving me mad. I was so fucking stupid to let her come with us that night. I ignored that nagging feeling I had and that was wrong of me. She'll never forgive me. FUCK! I'll never forgive myself. I fought every suicidal thought in my head, trying to replace it with some pleasant memory. Usually, one she helped create. Like the time she started up a pillow fight in the living room back at the Pond. That 'fight' led to other things, and a rather red faced Phil, since he chose not to knock that night. But then, I reminded myself of what I was doing today. And all those gut retching feelings come rushing back.
We buried her in her birth mother's wedding dress. I was going to marry her while she wore that dress not even a month from now. It's got harder as time passed. I couldn't look up at anyone. Human or Duck. I felt like a failure. I wanted her funeral to be private, but that hope was destroyed. Her Funeral ended up being televised all over the world, and I was asked to speak. I declined the offer, knowing what would be the first thing that I'd say.
You bunch of fucking cowards! We protected your mother fucking shitty city and this is what we get? She died protecting your children and in the end I lost my future wife! HOW DARE YOU!
Dive was the one who ended up speaking. His words were so true, I shut my eyes tight behind my sunglasses as he spoke.
" We all loved Faith. She wanted nothing to do with us when we all met. But somehow she wormed her way into our hearts, and made us feel like family. She loved some more then most and she never hid her heart, her love and devotion from us. For so long she had been in our lives, and here she is now, ripped from us so brutally," Dive read. " She cared for this city, hell, THIS PLANET, more then her own home world. We all did. And in the end it cost her life."
He stepped back and then gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. How long would it take before I can deal with it? She was in that coffin and I still felt it should be me. Once the News crews were gone I felt at ease. I stood out in the nasty rain as they sealed the vault. A shadow crossed mine and I looked back. I wanted to at least smile for Phil but my face wouldn't budge. The human looked worse then I did, he looked like corpse shit.
" I know this is really hard for you," Phil said shoving one hand in his pocket.
The other I noticed, held an umbrella over us.
" I'm not leaving the team," I said.
" Look what you've been through the last week," Phil said. " I don't need another dead member of this team."
My stomach twisted and gave protest since I hadn't eaten in days. I stared at the plaque that covered Faith's vault.
" I died the moment she did," I said. " I doubt you'll ever understand that."
" Please," Phil said. " For the team sake, hell, for your sake, take some time off."
I slowly shook my head, " I need to protect this team."
" You can't protect this place in this condition. You're reckless and have no concern for your own life," Phil said.
Deep down I know he was only trying to help me, however, at the time it sounded like he was talking down to me.
" Fuck you," I growled. " I've worked in The Camps in worse states."
" Wing," Phil said. " Don't say something you'll regret later."
Without another word I walked away. Everything throbbed with horrible pain. I had no real reason to keep on ticking. Dive was one reason yes, but he is my brother but that goes only so far. Faith was there when no one else would be. I stopped when I noticed Dive leaning against the limo.
" How long you been out here?" I asked.
" Since the News crews left," Dive said. " You need something to get your mind off what's happened."
I snorted, " Easier said then done."
Dive had an evil smile on his face, for some reason it made me smile.
" What do you have in mind?" I asked.
" Might not be what you think it is," Dive said.
" What I want is The Lizard's head on a silver plate," I growled.
He looked in deep thought for a moment. I raised an eyebrow.
" Maybe that can be figured out," Dive commented.
%&%
When Dive and I made it back to the Pond, no one tried to talk to us. I guess the expressions on our faces told them everything. I noticed how much my face burned. Duke followed me to the bathroom and I wondered what his problem was briefly. I decided to ignore him, like I do everyone else. I then fussed with the Mask, trying to pull it off. For some odd reason it just wouldn't budge. Felt like it was melted on.
" Don't," I said in a warning tone to Duke.
The old duck stopped not even a foot close to me.
" We need to talk about this," Duke said.
" Talk? TALK?! I'm not in the mood to talk Duke," I said.
" Faith knew I'm in a loosing battle," Duke said. " Did she tell you?"
I swallowed, " She did."
He leaned against the counter and I stared at my bitter reflection. I resisted the urge to punch the mirror.
" Have any clue how much longer?" I asked.
" Doctor said I'll be lucky if I have a month left," he said.
Something Faith said came to my mind. Daddy hides his pain behind a strong exterior. He's afraid to show weakness.
" What does Mallory think of it?" I asked.
" She's ticked I refused Chemo if that's what you mean," Duke said.
Damn you Duke. When will you stop being so fucking stubborn?
" Sure that's what you want to do?" I asked.
" I've lived long enough," Duke said. " I've done everything I've wanted to in life."
My mind went to his baby twins, Bethany and Scott. I know what Duke's death would do to Mallory. But what about the kids? My reflection taunted me and I wanted him to just shut up.
" I'm not going to argue with your wishes," I said. " Even if I don't agree with them."
" I wanted to see her get married you know," he said. " At night I'd dream about it. How she'd cry when I'd give her away. I always assumed it would be you oddly enough. She used to even talk about it when she moved here to play with us."
This horrible pain burst in my chest and went sailing down my arms. It was like liquid fire in my veins. I gritted my teeth hard, praying the pain would just go away. Without even thinking I slammed my fists into the mirror, making shards go flying. Duke slid off the counter, mumbling something. Slowly the words become understandable.
" What the fuck is going on with you?" He asked.
I swallowed and slowly drew my hands back. I don't know what composed me to smash the mirror. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the scared expression on Duke's face. Blood ran down my fingers into the sink.
" I have no idea," I said.
Author Note: I don't know where I've re-vamped this, but here's the newest version of this chapter.
CHAPTER ONE: LIVING WITHOUT HER
Walking down the street holding that handle tore my soul apart with each step. I kept on staring at the back of Canard's head, thinking of what her life could be like if it was me dead. Canard cared for her as much I did. Cece, when she was alive, knew she couldn't compete with Faith. But ultimately, I was the one she chose. It's driving me mad. I was so fucking stupid to let her come with us that night. I ignored that nagging feeling I had and that was wrong of me. She'll never forgive me. FUCK! I'll never forgive myself. I fought every suicidal thought in my head, trying to replace it with some pleasant memory. Usually, one she helped create. Like the time she started up a pillow fight in the living room back at the Pond. That 'fight' led to other things, and a rather red faced Phil, since he chose not to knock that night. But then, I reminded myself of what I was doing today. And all those gut retching feelings come rushing back.
We buried her in her birth mother's wedding dress. I was going to marry her while she wore that dress not even a month from now. It's got harder as time passed. I couldn't look up at anyone. Human or Duck. I felt like a failure. I wanted her funeral to be private, but that hope was destroyed. Her Funeral ended up being televised all over the world, and I was asked to speak. I declined the offer, knowing what would be the first thing that I'd say.
You bunch of fucking cowards! We protected your mother fucking shitty city and this is what we get? She died protecting your children and in the end I lost my future wife! HOW DARE YOU!
Dive was the one who ended up speaking. His words were so true, I shut my eyes tight behind my sunglasses as he spoke.
" We all loved Faith. She wanted nothing to do with us when we all met. But somehow she wormed her way into our hearts, and made us feel like family. She loved some more then most and she never hid her heart, her love and devotion from us. For so long she had been in our lives, and here she is now, ripped from us so brutally," Dive read. " She cared for this city, hell, THIS PLANET, more then her own home world. We all did. And in the end it cost her life."
He stepped back and then gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. How long would it take before I can deal with it? She was in that coffin and I still felt it should be me. Once the News crews were gone I felt at ease. I stood out in the nasty rain as they sealed the vault. A shadow crossed mine and I looked back. I wanted to at least smile for Phil but my face wouldn't budge. The human looked worse then I did, he looked like corpse shit.
" I know this is really hard for you," Phil said shoving one hand in his pocket.
The other I noticed, held an umbrella over us.
" I'm not leaving the team," I said.
" Look what you've been through the last week," Phil said. " I don't need another dead member of this team."
My stomach twisted and gave protest since I hadn't eaten in days. I stared at the plaque that covered Faith's vault.
" I died the moment she did," I said. " I doubt you'll ever understand that."
" Please," Phil said. " For the team sake, hell, for your sake, take some time off."
I slowly shook my head, " I need to protect this team."
" You can't protect this place in this condition. You're reckless and have no concern for your own life," Phil said.
Deep down I know he was only trying to help me, however, at the time it sounded like he was talking down to me.
" Fuck you," I growled. " I've worked in The Camps in worse states."
" Wing," Phil said. " Don't say something you'll regret later."
Without another word I walked away. Everything throbbed with horrible pain. I had no real reason to keep on ticking. Dive was one reason yes, but he is my brother but that goes only so far. Faith was there when no one else would be. I stopped when I noticed Dive leaning against the limo.
" How long you been out here?" I asked.
" Since the News crews left," Dive said. " You need something to get your mind off what's happened."
I snorted, " Easier said then done."
Dive had an evil smile on his face, for some reason it made me smile.
" What do you have in mind?" I asked.
" Might not be what you think it is," Dive said.
" What I want is The Lizard's head on a silver plate," I growled.
He looked in deep thought for a moment. I raised an eyebrow.
" Maybe that can be figured out," Dive commented.
%&%
When Dive and I made it back to the Pond, no one tried to talk to us. I guess the expressions on our faces told them everything. I noticed how much my face burned. Duke followed me to the bathroom and I wondered what his problem was briefly. I decided to ignore him, like I do everyone else. I then fussed with the Mask, trying to pull it off. For some odd reason it just wouldn't budge. Felt like it was melted on.
" Don't," I said in a warning tone to Duke.
The old duck stopped not even a foot close to me.
" We need to talk about this," Duke said.
" Talk? TALK?! I'm not in the mood to talk Duke," I said.
" Faith knew I'm in a loosing battle," Duke said. " Did she tell you?"
I swallowed, " She did."
He leaned against the counter and I stared at my bitter reflection. I resisted the urge to punch the mirror.
" Have any clue how much longer?" I asked.
" Doctor said I'll be lucky if I have a month left," he said.
Something Faith said came to my mind. Daddy hides his pain behind a strong exterior. He's afraid to show weakness.
" What does Mallory think of it?" I asked.
" She's ticked I refused Chemo if that's what you mean," Duke said.
Damn you Duke. When will you stop being so fucking stubborn?
" Sure that's what you want to do?" I asked.
" I've lived long enough," Duke said. " I've done everything I've wanted to in life."
My mind went to his baby twins, Bethany and Scott. I know what Duke's death would do to Mallory. But what about the kids? My reflection taunted me and I wanted him to just shut up.
" I'm not going to argue with your wishes," I said. " Even if I don't agree with them."
" I wanted to see her get married you know," he said. " At night I'd dream about it. How she'd cry when I'd give her away. I always assumed it would be you oddly enough. She used to even talk about it when she moved here to play with us."
This horrible pain burst in my chest and went sailing down my arms. It was like liquid fire in my veins. I gritted my teeth hard, praying the pain would just go away. Without even thinking I slammed my fists into the mirror, making shards go flying. Duke slid off the counter, mumbling something. Slowly the words become understandable.
" What the fuck is going on with you?" He asked.
I swallowed and slowly drew my hands back. I don't know what composed me to smash the mirror. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the scared expression on Duke's face. Blood ran down my fingers into the sink.
" I have no idea," I said.