Chapter 4-
---------------------------------
As I walked out the door,
I knew that my heart
would shut the door for me.
----------------------------------
"So, you going to be okay?" Luka asked sombrely. He looked worried about me, like he knew something about Carters temper. Something I had no idea about. I unbuckled my seatbelt and smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm going to be fine. Thanks for the ride Luka, I think I'll take the EL home, a little piece of my past sort of thing I guess." Luka nodded and smiled at me as I got of the car. "Oh Abby, Sam said she'd like to meet you before the wedding so maybe you and the twin would like to come over for dinner tomorrow night and meet, Sam and her son Alex?"
"Yeah, sure that sounds nice." I shut the door and bravely made my way toward the hospital entrance. As soon as I got to the door I took a deep breath and looked around, everything looked the same, the basketball net, everything it was like I had never left, except I did leave. Now I have to come back and fix the horrible mess I thought I was rid of Forever. I guess running away from your problems isn't the right thing to do because sooner or later your going to have to come back to them, and the problem may have become worse then when you left it. I walked in to the hospital, the smell of death soon hit me, and I looked around realizing how bad this place really was, the new place I work at is much cleaner and nicer, but County was defiantly an experience I will never forget. I walked up to the admit area and saw Frank. "Hi Frank is Carter here." I asked like I normally would. Frank looked up at me and then smiled, it was weird to see the normally grumpie man have a facial expression that doesnt say come near me and ill ripe out ur heart and feed it to your children. "Abby." He said running around the desk and pulling me into a bear hug. "Hi Frank." I said patting his back.
"So what brought you back." Frank said releasing his grip on me.
"Luka's weeding. Is Carter around?" I stated.
"Yes Exam 2...Nice to see you." I waved back to Frank as I headed over to exam 2.
------------------------------
It's ok to kiss a fool.
It's ok to let a fool kiss you.
But never let a kiss fool you.
-------------------------------
I looked in through the glass and saw him. He was walking to a patient, looking as gorgeous as ever. His hair was short, like it was before he left for Africa. I could tell he has a little stubble which I liked, on him. I watched him talk to the boy sitting on the bed, I could hear what he was saying because the door was closed but I suddenly saw him heading to the door and tried my best to muster all the strength I had to go there. I slowly walked over to the door, one foot after the other and took a deep breathe, just as my cell phone went off. "Hello." I said my hearting pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears.
"Hey, Abby, Logan wants to speak to you. He's up and Crying." Susan said to me. I suddenly felt bad for leaving them with Susan I should have woke them up and told them that I was leaving for a bit. I looked over to see Carter talking to a nurse. "Okay." I said quickly. "Have you talked to Carter yet?" Susan asked.
"No I'm just about too, but put Logan on."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Its okay." I insisted. As I heard my suddenly happy son bounce onto the phone.
"Mommy." As soon as I heard his peppy voice a small smile crossed my lips.
"Hi baby." I said rather loudly. Suddenly Carter turned around and there we were face to face. With our son on the phone. He stared for a minute, I watched him as Logan babbled on about Jeremy still being a sleep and a movie Susan was letting him watch.
"then the duck he ate the- MOMMY!" The little boy screeched through the phone as Carter made his way over to me. He must of heard Logan because he turned his eyes from me to the phone. He was suddenly less then a foot apart and I thought I was going to die. "Logan, honey I have to go. I miss you. When we get together when I get home we'll do something special okay?"
" I slowly watched Carters face change, his arms remained crossed over his chest. His face went from anger and surprise to confuse, surprise and anger. "Bye mommy. I love you."
"Love you too." I flipped the phone closed and looked at Carter.
"Hi." My voice shaking as the words slowly escaped from my mouth.
"Hi." He said back slowly. He looked as if he was trying to process everything.
"Your back." I smiled a little out of nervousness.
"Yes."
"For the wedding." Wow he's on a roll.
"yes."
"Do you have anything more to say, then yes?" Now he was angry.
"Look, Carter can we talk."
"I'm busy." He stated as plain as paper.
"Carter, its important." I said chasing after him into the drug lock up.
"Why don't you just talk it over with the guy you were on the phone with." He spat.
I laughed out loud which caused Carter to turn and look at me. "Carter that wasn't my boyfriend, I don't have a boyfriend not that its any of your business, that was my almost three year old son Logan, that's who it was. Or should I say our almost three-" Then I stopped my anger crusade and looked at Carters pale face, I had planned on breaking the news to him a little more gently. "M-my Son?" Carter said, he was now the one who was shaking. "Yes." I said knowing that would have been an approiate time to tell him that he has two sons. "Are you sure?" I laughed a little.
"Yes." I looked into his eyes, he looked scared.
"Wow, what's his name?"
"Logan." I knew I had to slip Jeremy in their some where, but I didn't know where.
"Logan what?"
"Rutgers Wysenzki." I saw a smile cross his lips, I knew he loved the name Rutgers who knows why its not that pretty. Then it faded once I said the last name.
"Well, at least he got something I like."
"Jeremy is Jeremy-"
"Jeremy?"
"Yes twins. Jeremy Guy." Carter looked very upset and surprised.
--------------------------------
There's always room for
new changes and memories
in the future... But never
forget the past, for where
the all the best/worse
memories were once made..
----------------------------------
Now in the lounge I watched as Carter paced, back in forth occasionally opening the fridge, finding out each time, nothing new had been put him since the last time he opened the door. "how? When?" Carter said stopping and sitting across from me at the table.
"Uh, well you know how and the last time we slept together." This might open a bit of a sour spot for both of us. "When was that." Now he looked stumped.
"2 days before your Grandmother past away." Carter looked up at me like it must have been later then that. "Trust me, we didn't have sex after that." He leaned back in his chair.
"Why? Why did you keep something as big as my children away from me. Not only did you wreck their lives but you wrecked mine. These boys deserve to ahve a father and thanks to you, they don't" His voice raising.
"I didn't think they needed a father, not one who would not let them grow and change on their own. I wanted the best for my boys and at the time I didn't think you were best thing for them, call that selfish, rude, mean. I don't care but I did what I felt was right." I was raising my voice now.
"You know what Abby. It was selfish, damn selfish. I have half a mind not taking you to court and suing your ass for my sons." I looked him in the eyes.
"You wouldn't." I was now terrified of this man, maybe Luka did know a little something about his temper. He shrugged and then left the lounge.
------------------------------
I've seen those who lies
and those who'll kill to be
another.. But never did
I see those innocence in
your eyes.
------------------------------
---------------------------------
As I walked out the door,
I knew that my heart
would shut the door for me.
----------------------------------
"So, you going to be okay?" Luka asked sombrely. He looked worried about me, like he knew something about Carters temper. Something I had no idea about. I unbuckled my seatbelt and smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm going to be fine. Thanks for the ride Luka, I think I'll take the EL home, a little piece of my past sort of thing I guess." Luka nodded and smiled at me as I got of the car. "Oh Abby, Sam said she'd like to meet you before the wedding so maybe you and the twin would like to come over for dinner tomorrow night and meet, Sam and her son Alex?"
"Yeah, sure that sounds nice." I shut the door and bravely made my way toward the hospital entrance. As soon as I got to the door I took a deep breath and looked around, everything looked the same, the basketball net, everything it was like I had never left, except I did leave. Now I have to come back and fix the horrible mess I thought I was rid of Forever. I guess running away from your problems isn't the right thing to do because sooner or later your going to have to come back to them, and the problem may have become worse then when you left it. I walked in to the hospital, the smell of death soon hit me, and I looked around realizing how bad this place really was, the new place I work at is much cleaner and nicer, but County was defiantly an experience I will never forget. I walked up to the admit area and saw Frank. "Hi Frank is Carter here." I asked like I normally would. Frank looked up at me and then smiled, it was weird to see the normally grumpie man have a facial expression that doesnt say come near me and ill ripe out ur heart and feed it to your children. "Abby." He said running around the desk and pulling me into a bear hug. "Hi Frank." I said patting his back.
"So what brought you back." Frank said releasing his grip on me.
"Luka's weeding. Is Carter around?" I stated.
"Yes Exam 2...Nice to see you." I waved back to Frank as I headed over to exam 2.
------------------------------
It's ok to kiss a fool.
It's ok to let a fool kiss you.
But never let a kiss fool you.
-------------------------------
I looked in through the glass and saw him. He was walking to a patient, looking as gorgeous as ever. His hair was short, like it was before he left for Africa. I could tell he has a little stubble which I liked, on him. I watched him talk to the boy sitting on the bed, I could hear what he was saying because the door was closed but I suddenly saw him heading to the door and tried my best to muster all the strength I had to go there. I slowly walked over to the door, one foot after the other and took a deep breathe, just as my cell phone went off. "Hello." I said my hearting pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears.
"Hey, Abby, Logan wants to speak to you. He's up and Crying." Susan said to me. I suddenly felt bad for leaving them with Susan I should have woke them up and told them that I was leaving for a bit. I looked over to see Carter talking to a nurse. "Okay." I said quickly. "Have you talked to Carter yet?" Susan asked.
"No I'm just about too, but put Logan on."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Its okay." I insisted. As I heard my suddenly happy son bounce onto the phone.
"Mommy." As soon as I heard his peppy voice a small smile crossed my lips.
"Hi baby." I said rather loudly. Suddenly Carter turned around and there we were face to face. With our son on the phone. He stared for a minute, I watched him as Logan babbled on about Jeremy still being a sleep and a movie Susan was letting him watch.
"then the duck he ate the- MOMMY!" The little boy screeched through the phone as Carter made his way over to me. He must of heard Logan because he turned his eyes from me to the phone. He was suddenly less then a foot apart and I thought I was going to die. "Logan, honey I have to go. I miss you. When we get together when I get home we'll do something special okay?"
" I slowly watched Carters face change, his arms remained crossed over his chest. His face went from anger and surprise to confuse, surprise and anger. "Bye mommy. I love you."
"Love you too." I flipped the phone closed and looked at Carter.
"Hi." My voice shaking as the words slowly escaped from my mouth.
"Hi." He said back slowly. He looked as if he was trying to process everything.
"Your back." I smiled a little out of nervousness.
"Yes."
"For the wedding." Wow he's on a roll.
"yes."
"Do you have anything more to say, then yes?" Now he was angry.
"Look, Carter can we talk."
"I'm busy." He stated as plain as paper.
"Carter, its important." I said chasing after him into the drug lock up.
"Why don't you just talk it over with the guy you were on the phone with." He spat.
I laughed out loud which caused Carter to turn and look at me. "Carter that wasn't my boyfriend, I don't have a boyfriend not that its any of your business, that was my almost three year old son Logan, that's who it was. Or should I say our almost three-" Then I stopped my anger crusade and looked at Carters pale face, I had planned on breaking the news to him a little more gently. "M-my Son?" Carter said, he was now the one who was shaking. "Yes." I said knowing that would have been an approiate time to tell him that he has two sons. "Are you sure?" I laughed a little.
"Yes." I looked into his eyes, he looked scared.
"Wow, what's his name?"
"Logan." I knew I had to slip Jeremy in their some where, but I didn't know where.
"Logan what?"
"Rutgers Wysenzki." I saw a smile cross his lips, I knew he loved the name Rutgers who knows why its not that pretty. Then it faded once I said the last name.
"Well, at least he got something I like."
"Jeremy is Jeremy-"
"Jeremy?"
"Yes twins. Jeremy Guy." Carter looked very upset and surprised.
--------------------------------
There's always room for
new changes and memories
in the future... But never
forget the past, for where
the all the best/worse
memories were once made..
----------------------------------
Now in the lounge I watched as Carter paced, back in forth occasionally opening the fridge, finding out each time, nothing new had been put him since the last time he opened the door. "how? When?" Carter said stopping and sitting across from me at the table.
"Uh, well you know how and the last time we slept together." This might open a bit of a sour spot for both of us. "When was that." Now he looked stumped.
"2 days before your Grandmother past away." Carter looked up at me like it must have been later then that. "Trust me, we didn't have sex after that." He leaned back in his chair.
"Why? Why did you keep something as big as my children away from me. Not only did you wreck their lives but you wrecked mine. These boys deserve to ahve a father and thanks to you, they don't" His voice raising.
"I didn't think they needed a father, not one who would not let them grow and change on their own. I wanted the best for my boys and at the time I didn't think you were best thing for them, call that selfish, rude, mean. I don't care but I did what I felt was right." I was raising my voice now.
"You know what Abby. It was selfish, damn selfish. I have half a mind not taking you to court and suing your ass for my sons." I looked him in the eyes.
"You wouldn't." I was now terrified of this man, maybe Luka did know a little something about his temper. He shrugged and then left the lounge.
------------------------------
I've seen those who lies
and those who'll kill to be
another.. But never did
I see those innocence in
your eyes.
------------------------------