A.N: I know it's taken me a long time to post this chapter. I've been busy
with school and work. I hope everyone enjoys it!!!
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Tonks looked curiously at Remus. His eyes were warm, the red and puffiness gone. His hair was wild looking, like he hadn't brushed it in days. His face pale looking and drained. She thought he needed to eat a good meal, he was so thin, and his clothes were shabbier than ever, 'could the full moon be approaching?' she thought. Nonetheless, she found him to be particularly attractive right now. She always thought Remus was attractive, right from the very beginning. There was just something about him that caught her eye.
They were both very good friends. In the time she had known Remus, she had never seen him so vulnerable before. She probably wouldn't have admitted it, but deep down she liked seeing him this way. He had never really opened up to her before; he was always quiet, withdrawn, and mysterious. 'I guess being feared and unwanted for a lifetime does that to a person,' she thought.
Remus had had initial reservations about their friendship in the beginning because of the thirteen-year age difference between them. But Tonks didn't have a problem with it; the age difference didn't matter to her at all. After all, Kingsley and her were friends, and he's much, much older than Remus. She'd tried to convince him it didn't matter and thought she was successful. But deep down she wondered if he still had any lingering doubts.
Their friendship had always been a very close one, although strictly platonic. They met at the Ministry after being introduced by Arthur Weasley, and soon she joined the Order where they were working with each other side by side.
She wondered how he was holding up after everything. She knew he was hurting very much. She wanted him to open up and talk to her about it, but she didn't want to force it out of him. 'When he's ready, he'll tell me and I won't make him if he's not ready' she vowed silently in her head. A huge part of her wanted to talk about losing Sirius. It hurt her too, so much. After all they were cousins, not very close, but he was still the only member of her family that she wasn't ashamed of and didn't disown her because she was different. Tears filled her eyes as she thought of him. She hardly ever cried, especially in front of people. It was a strange feeling for her.
"What's wrong Tonks?" Asked Remus rather concerned.
"Oh, I was just thinking about Sirius again." A lone tear fell down her cheek as she spoke. She began to cry again against her will. She tried to stop, but couldn't.
"Hey it's okay." Said Remus as he went to console her again.
"I'm sorry." She whispered between sobs.
"Sorry? For What?" He asked bewildered.
"It's all my fault he died. If only I had stunned Bellatrix sooner.this never would of happened and Sirius would still be alive."
"No, it's not your fault," Remus said firmly. 'Don't blame yourself for what happened. Sirius died the only way he would of wanted to go. He died a hero. No one, not you or myself, could have predicted things would turn out this way. I don't want you thinking this way. It's not your fault! Alright?" He pleaded with her looking into her sad grey eyes. Tonks just nodded her head. She tried to find some comfort in his words but found very little.
Remus hated seeing her this way. He knew it wasn't her fault, deep down he knew it wasn't his fault either but he wouldn't be admitting to that any time soon. After all, they were at war now, and they were going to lose a lot more this way, Sirius was only the beginning.
Tonks stifled her sobs, and blew her nose into the handkerchief Remus handed her.
"It's okay.you keep it." Said Remus as she tried to give it back to him.
"So what was it you wanted to tell me?" She asked trying hard to change the subject.
"W-well.okay. You promise me that you'll listen and won't interrupt me till I'm done? I really need to say this."
"I promise."
Now that the time had come, unwelcome questions invaded his head. 'What if she doesn't feel the same, what if she thinks I'm too old for her, what if our friendship is ruined forever.' He never really gave much thought to the negative impact it could leave on both of them. 'Snap out of it Remus,' he thought nervously, 'she will feel the same way, she will want you.' He said it over and over again in his head, like he was trying to convince himself.
"Remus? Are you going to tell me or not? What is it?" She was very annoyed. "What could be so important? Why do you keep stalling? Why can't you just tell me whatever it is?' She said very irritably.
'Oh just that I love you. That I've always loved you, from the very beginning.' Remus thought to himself. 'I love you, I love you, I love you.' "I love you."
'Did I say that last one out loud?' He thought panicking and confused. He couldn't remember! He looked at Tonks startled face.'Uh oh!"
"What did you say?" Said Tonks a little taken aback at his words.
"Huh? Oh nothing." Said Remus praying she hadn't heard him. He could feel his cheeks turning from pink to red.
"Did you just say 'I love you'?" Asked Tonks softly, her hair turned a light shade of brown. Remus would of turned himself invisible if only he knew how to. He wished he had James' old invisibility cloak with him, he would of used it in a second.
"Y-yes.I believe so." Stuttered Remus, his heart was beating wildly now, his face was now a deep magenta. 'This isn't how I wanted to tell you!' He thought.
"You believe so?"
Remus nodded his head up and down as he turned his eyes to the floor.
He couldn't tell what Tonks was thinking; her face wasn't giving away any indication what she might have been feeling. She wasn't talking either, he couldn't tell whether that was a good thing or not.
Several moments passed like this. The silence between them was both awkward and uncomfortable. Remus couldn't bear it any longer. He had to know. He had to ask her what she was thinking, and if she had any feelings for him at all. He was feeling kind of selfish, considering how she just found out about Sirius and all. He was also embarrassed and scared. Scared of being rejected-something he had been his whole life.
"What are you thinking Tonks?" He asked carefully.
She didn't answer him.
"Tonks?"
Again she did not answer. She wasn't even paying attention to what he was saying. She was still in shock over what he had said moments earlier. She had no idea Remus felt this way about her. In fact, she never heard Remus say those words ever.
"Tonks please say something.anything."
She felt so confused and overwhelmed. She could not give him an answer yet. What would she say? She needed time to sort out her feelings. She needed to be alone right now.to think.
"Remus." Tonks said.
"Yes? What is it?" Said Remus nervously. He was so relieved she finally said something-yet his stomach was churning because he didn't know what she would say next.
"I'm tired. Could you please go home for a bit and rest, you look tired too." She sounded a bit motherly to him.
"Okay, I'll leave." Said Remus almost dejectedly.
"I just need to be alone right now to think. It's a lot of information for a person to digest in one morning."
"I understand. I'll go now." He sighed heavily and picked up his cloak and headed for the door.
"Remus?"
"Yes Tonks?" He stopped in the middle of the doorway.
"Could you come back later tonight?" She asked hopefully. "We can talk then."
He nodded his head indicating a yes. "Of course I will." A small smile came over his lips.
Tonks smiled back as she watched him leave. She was still smiling minutes after he left. She thought she would use this time to organize her thoughts, but her eyelids became heavier and heavier as each moment passed. Before she knew it she was fast asleep.
Deep down she knew what she would tell Remus later that night. A huge smile crept upon her face as she slept.
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A.N.: Well? What did you think? Please review!! Sorry if you think it's a cliffhanger!!!!
Tonks looked curiously at Remus. His eyes were warm, the red and puffiness gone. His hair was wild looking, like he hadn't brushed it in days. His face pale looking and drained. She thought he needed to eat a good meal, he was so thin, and his clothes were shabbier than ever, 'could the full moon be approaching?' she thought. Nonetheless, she found him to be particularly attractive right now. She always thought Remus was attractive, right from the very beginning. There was just something about him that caught her eye.
They were both very good friends. In the time she had known Remus, she had never seen him so vulnerable before. She probably wouldn't have admitted it, but deep down she liked seeing him this way. He had never really opened up to her before; he was always quiet, withdrawn, and mysterious. 'I guess being feared and unwanted for a lifetime does that to a person,' she thought.
Remus had had initial reservations about their friendship in the beginning because of the thirteen-year age difference between them. But Tonks didn't have a problem with it; the age difference didn't matter to her at all. After all, Kingsley and her were friends, and he's much, much older than Remus. She'd tried to convince him it didn't matter and thought she was successful. But deep down she wondered if he still had any lingering doubts.
Their friendship had always been a very close one, although strictly platonic. They met at the Ministry after being introduced by Arthur Weasley, and soon she joined the Order where they were working with each other side by side.
She wondered how he was holding up after everything. She knew he was hurting very much. She wanted him to open up and talk to her about it, but she didn't want to force it out of him. 'When he's ready, he'll tell me and I won't make him if he's not ready' she vowed silently in her head. A huge part of her wanted to talk about losing Sirius. It hurt her too, so much. After all they were cousins, not very close, but he was still the only member of her family that she wasn't ashamed of and didn't disown her because she was different. Tears filled her eyes as she thought of him. She hardly ever cried, especially in front of people. It was a strange feeling for her.
"What's wrong Tonks?" Asked Remus rather concerned.
"Oh, I was just thinking about Sirius again." A lone tear fell down her cheek as she spoke. She began to cry again against her will. She tried to stop, but couldn't.
"Hey it's okay." Said Remus as he went to console her again.
"I'm sorry." She whispered between sobs.
"Sorry? For What?" He asked bewildered.
"It's all my fault he died. If only I had stunned Bellatrix sooner.this never would of happened and Sirius would still be alive."
"No, it's not your fault," Remus said firmly. 'Don't blame yourself for what happened. Sirius died the only way he would of wanted to go. He died a hero. No one, not you or myself, could have predicted things would turn out this way. I don't want you thinking this way. It's not your fault! Alright?" He pleaded with her looking into her sad grey eyes. Tonks just nodded her head. She tried to find some comfort in his words but found very little.
Remus hated seeing her this way. He knew it wasn't her fault, deep down he knew it wasn't his fault either but he wouldn't be admitting to that any time soon. After all, they were at war now, and they were going to lose a lot more this way, Sirius was only the beginning.
Tonks stifled her sobs, and blew her nose into the handkerchief Remus handed her.
"It's okay.you keep it." Said Remus as she tried to give it back to him.
"So what was it you wanted to tell me?" She asked trying hard to change the subject.
"W-well.okay. You promise me that you'll listen and won't interrupt me till I'm done? I really need to say this."
"I promise."
Now that the time had come, unwelcome questions invaded his head. 'What if she doesn't feel the same, what if she thinks I'm too old for her, what if our friendship is ruined forever.' He never really gave much thought to the negative impact it could leave on both of them. 'Snap out of it Remus,' he thought nervously, 'she will feel the same way, she will want you.' He said it over and over again in his head, like he was trying to convince himself.
"Remus? Are you going to tell me or not? What is it?" She was very annoyed. "What could be so important? Why do you keep stalling? Why can't you just tell me whatever it is?' She said very irritably.
'Oh just that I love you. That I've always loved you, from the very beginning.' Remus thought to himself. 'I love you, I love you, I love you.' "I love you."
'Did I say that last one out loud?' He thought panicking and confused. He couldn't remember! He looked at Tonks startled face.'Uh oh!"
"What did you say?" Said Tonks a little taken aback at his words.
"Huh? Oh nothing." Said Remus praying she hadn't heard him. He could feel his cheeks turning from pink to red.
"Did you just say 'I love you'?" Asked Tonks softly, her hair turned a light shade of brown. Remus would of turned himself invisible if only he knew how to. He wished he had James' old invisibility cloak with him, he would of used it in a second.
"Y-yes.I believe so." Stuttered Remus, his heart was beating wildly now, his face was now a deep magenta. 'This isn't how I wanted to tell you!' He thought.
"You believe so?"
Remus nodded his head up and down as he turned his eyes to the floor.
He couldn't tell what Tonks was thinking; her face wasn't giving away any indication what she might have been feeling. She wasn't talking either, he couldn't tell whether that was a good thing or not.
Several moments passed like this. The silence between them was both awkward and uncomfortable. Remus couldn't bear it any longer. He had to know. He had to ask her what she was thinking, and if she had any feelings for him at all. He was feeling kind of selfish, considering how she just found out about Sirius and all. He was also embarrassed and scared. Scared of being rejected-something he had been his whole life.
"What are you thinking Tonks?" He asked carefully.
She didn't answer him.
"Tonks?"
Again she did not answer. She wasn't even paying attention to what he was saying. She was still in shock over what he had said moments earlier. She had no idea Remus felt this way about her. In fact, she never heard Remus say those words ever.
"Tonks please say something.anything."
She felt so confused and overwhelmed. She could not give him an answer yet. What would she say? She needed time to sort out her feelings. She needed to be alone right now.to think.
"Remus." Tonks said.
"Yes? What is it?" Said Remus nervously. He was so relieved she finally said something-yet his stomach was churning because he didn't know what she would say next.
"I'm tired. Could you please go home for a bit and rest, you look tired too." She sounded a bit motherly to him.
"Okay, I'll leave." Said Remus almost dejectedly.
"I just need to be alone right now to think. It's a lot of information for a person to digest in one morning."
"I understand. I'll go now." He sighed heavily and picked up his cloak and headed for the door.
"Remus?"
"Yes Tonks?" He stopped in the middle of the doorway.
"Could you come back later tonight?" She asked hopefully. "We can talk then."
He nodded his head indicating a yes. "Of course I will." A small smile came over his lips.
Tonks smiled back as she watched him leave. She was still smiling minutes after he left. She thought she would use this time to organize her thoughts, but her eyelids became heavier and heavier as each moment passed. Before she knew it she was fast asleep.
Deep down she knew what she would tell Remus later that night. A huge smile crept upon her face as she slept.
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A.N.: Well? What did you think? Please review!! Sorry if you think it's a cliffhanger!!!!