Authors Note: Okay so this is chapter 8 chapter nine if you want to include prologue.
I hope you all like it so far...
Chapter 8-
"So this is it." We walked into his mediocre size apartment, it was clean, I could tell he cleaned just because we were coming. "Uh- the boys room is right down that hall." Carter said nervously, his nervousness made me smile he's cute. I held Jeremy tight as we walked into the back, it was amazing, the room was painted a baby blue, with a border of blue and red, and yellow trucks and cars, the border centred and each boy had their own car bed one red and one blue one. Each boy had a red and white dresser and red and white end table with a red car lamp and a blue car lamp matching the bed. At the end of the bed was a toy box. "Look mommy cars!" Logan screeched running and jumping on the blue car bed. "Yah, you're right it is a nice bed and room, why Carter you've really outdone yourself this time, its great." I carried Jeremy over to his red bed and laid him down under the car comforter. "I want to play." Logan said tossing out cars and action figures out of the box. "Well why don't you let Jeremy sleep and bring some toys out and play in the living room." Carter said, picking Logan and a pile of toys up. I followed them out and watched as Carter sat down and played cars with Logan. "Mommy, can we keep the toys, and beds and stuff." Carter looked up at me as Logan continued to play. "Do we have to give them back when we go back home." I looked and Carter and went down and picked up Logan and brought him back to the couch so I could talk to him, Carter jumped up next to me bringing a car with him. "Logan, uh- we-"
"Mommy." Jeremy's little voice said as he walked his way out of the bed, curling up on the couch next to Carter. "Hey, Jeremy, I was just about to tell Logan that we are going to move here to Chicago." Logan looked up at me and then shrugged, "And yes Logan you get to keep the toys, because this is going to be one of your homes."
"Why?" Jeremy asked sleepily.
"Because this is your daddy, Jer." I said looking down at Logan and then to Jeremy and Jeremy and Logan both looked at Carter and Jeremy put his head on Carters lap yawning. "I thought we didn't have a daddy, I thought daddy sucked." Logan said playing with a toy car. Carter looked at me amused "I sucked."
"That's what uncle Ewic said." Logan continued. Figuring Carter and I would deffintly be having a conversation about this later. "Well, this is your daddy."
"Our real daddy?" Logan said staring at Carter.
"Yes dummy." Jeremy said groggily.
"Hey don't call him that." Carter said jumping into father mode.
"So are you and mommy married?" Jeremy pushed.
"No, honey we're not married." I answered
"oh"
-------------------------------------------
Love wasn't put in your heart to stay Love isn't love till you give it away
--------------------------------------------
"They think I suck?" I continued to clear the plates from dinner, as Carter loaded the dishwasher. "No, Eric thinks you suck." He clearly wasn't impressed with this by the look on his face. "Look, things were bad with us they were really bad, and I don't want the boys to be around anything like that I'll talk to them and Eric and you won't suck anymore and we can be good." I explained easily.
"Okay. They really like that Thomas engine guy huh?" Carter said as he walked into the living room watching them. "Yes he's their favourite." Suddenly he turned around with a more serious look on his face. "What?"
"Uh, Abby I think if we're going to make this arrangement work we've got to go back 3 years." Doing this will defintly result in a nice little fight.
"Carter I don't know if this is such a good idea."
"I loved you Abby, A LOT. You were my world and you left."
"You left first." Okay call me childish but its true.
"Yeah but not with your babies." Now he was hitting home. Hard.
"Look Carter, things were bad, real bad you weren't accepting the fact that my brother was sick and you just expected me to leave him out there. In god knows where, where god knows what could happen, I wanted to be with you and him, and you, you just didn't care about my obligations you just cared about your own." I said walking into the bed room. "Oh so now everything is my fault? Poor little Abby does nothing ever." His voice getting louder. "Keep your voice down their going to hear you. You tried to change me. You tried to make me something I'm not, you wanted me to change so I was good enough for you." Carter was looking angrier by the second.
"Look Abby I chased after you around the god damn world, I came home early for you, I worked extra shifts for you, I did everything in my power to keep that damn thing working and you just acted selfish you were the selfish one, you were the one-" a knock at the door interfered with our argument, Carter opened the door and there was Logan with the phone in his hand. "Mommy, a man wants you." I smiled and grabbed the phone from him. "Thanks Logan." Carter looked at me then picked Logan up and tossed him over his shoulder, "Hey buddy, you want to play cars?" I heard Logan laugh and say yeah!
"Okay, I'm going to put Jeremy to bed first." Carter said, I had a feeling Jeremy would be in bed quickly. "Hello."
"Hey Abby its Luka how is Jeremy?"
"He's better thanks. He is sleeping a lot though kind of dehydrated and he's taking his epilepsy medication as order by you...Doctor." I heard his nice accent laugh.
"I'm glad, they're good boys, very nice kids."
"Thanks."
"Hey I was just calling to see if you wanted to go for dinner with Sam and I tomorrow night, maybe Carter could come too if you want?"
"Uh- yeah tomorrows good, I'll ask Carter if he wants to come." I said lying, knowing I didn't want Carter to come at least not with the way we are now.
"Could you ask him now, we want to make reservations." Oh no, this means we need to find a babysitter to relieve Susan's of these two.
"I don't know Luka, I mean Jeremy just got home what about in two nights?" I hoped this would be okay.
"Sure, you know Sam's son could baby-sit he's very responsible. I can bring him by tomorrow if you would like to meet him." I looked at Carter who gave me and angry stare. "uh- yah, yah sure. That sounds great, Luka." I said not taking my eyes off of the Lego city and cars everywhere. "So ask Carter."
"Carter," He stared at me angry, "Luka- Luka wants to know if you want to go out for dinner, you, me and Sam, 2 days from now, Sam's son will baby-sit." He looked at me with a pained look on his face. "No, I'd rather stay with the boys." I thought that was kind of rude. "Carter, please come for me." He shook his head and Logan smiled up at him.
"go, with Mommy, I think she loves you." He said giggling making me blush.
"Yeah. Okay, I'll go." He said picking Logan up and singing loudly "WE ARE GOING TO BED!" Making Logan laugh.
"Uh- yes we will, we will go with you." I said glumly.
"Everything okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine, thanks Luka." I lied. I really wasn't fine, I wished everything with John would just go to the way they were before, Africa, and funerals and sick brothers.
"Okay, well I have to go Luka. Bye." I said hanging up and crawling into bed sticking a pillow over my head, wow would a drink ever be nice now, but I couldn't do that not to my boys, not too myself. I missed Carter, but I knew going back to the way things were before the twins were born would be impossible. I loved Carter I think, I mean I know I cared about him, but I never thought that we had real true love. I wasn't sure why, but our relationship felt as though I was the one who needed someone to lean on and he wanted me to be something I wasn't...Perfect. Now was different though. Now I felt strong enough that I didn't need someone else to carry some of my load, now I needed someone to love me and want me. I had quit smoking and drinking, I quit both when I was pregnant and damn Carter was lucky he wasn't around then. My mother and brother were both on their meds, mom and Eric were both holding down jobs, and Eric was in a serious healthy relationship I was really happy for them. I wasn't sure how Carter felt about me at the moment, but I knew that I saw Carter differently then I did 3 years ago, I saw him as and open, happy, friendly, loving man. A man that welcomed those two boys into his life with open arms. "Hey," Carter said, as I lifted the pillow off of my head slightly taking a peek and groaning, pretending like I didn't want him their, but secretly I was glad he was here. I wanted to work out our fight. I felt him sit down on the bed then lie down next to me.
"Look, I'm sorry. I just want whatever's going on with us to not have our horrible past attached to us, I want us to start fresh, you me and the boys yah know?" I lifted the pillow off of my head and placed it under my head. "I know me too." I said turning my head towards him and smiling. "Truce?" He said holding out his handI took it and shook it hard, he started to laugh, I loved his laugh. "Jeremy, he's a trooper." I smiled my Jeremy was a trooper. "Yah, he's always been the slower one of the two, the one who hasn't started potty training, he's shyer, he's a sweetie though." Carter smiled then nodded.
"Yeah, Logan he's pretty outgoing and funny." He said with a small smile. "I love them a lot. You know...we can work out a schedule for when u move here, yah know, you can live here as long as you need too." I smiled, I liked New York but it would be nice to live in Chicago again, I had all my old friends and everything. "I can get you a job at county, we can get a nanny if we really, really need one. What did you do before?"
"I had Eric watch them, day cares, babysitters, anything I could think of." I answered we lied next to each other, his hands crossed over his chest and mine at my side, our heads were turned towards each other. "That sounds like a haul." I nodded, it really and truly was. "I talked to Weaver, you have yourself a nursing job." He said with a big goofy grin on his face. "Thank you." It was weird how nicely we were getting along lately.
----------------------------
from A to Z all that
really matters is U and I
-----------------------------
"When Logan was two, He pulled down his pants in the supermarket and said I have a pee, pee." I said in between bouts of laughter. Carter joined in.
"really? He did that, he's so funny." Carter said laughing. I looked over at the clock, it was 12:30, I knew Carter had to work in the morning. I didn't want him to leave though.
"Hey I'm just going to go get ready for bed, you can stay here as long as you want though I don't mind." I said as I walked into the washroom shutting the door behind me letting a small smile cross over my lips. I hoped he would still be there when I got out, I really wanted to spend more time with him.
"Hey," I looked up and saw Carter lying on my bed in scrub pants and a white t- shirt, he was flicking through the channels on the television. I climbed into bed under the covers while Carter was still on top of the blankets. "Well I'll go and let you sleep." He started to sit up. "Uh- you, don't have to go we can watch TV or something." He smiled then lied back down. "Abby, we don't want to do this?" He said in a sing song voice.
"Yeah..."
"Let's not do this."
"Do what?" I was now curious as to what he was going to say, I don't want to sleep with him just he makes me feel good. "You know, this we can't you know-"
"Carter, I just liked spending time with you, I mean we never really, I don't know did this." I said I could feel myself blushing. He smiled a wide smile.
"You're right, look, um I work tomorrow, and everything but I don't work the next day so I don't know we could just hang out if you want?" I nodded gleefully, he was now sitting up. "Okay, I'm going to be." He said with a tiny yawn
"Yeah me too, I'm beat, thanks for the bed." Carter nodded bent down and placed a small kiss on my nose. Which shocked me I didn't expect that.
-----------------------------------------------
I think about you day and night... I swear that your Mr. Right, I'll love you more then you'll ever know.. Baby, that's why I'm never letting yah go
-------------------------------------------------
"Logan, come eat your cheerio's. Jeremy use your spoon." I heard a voice saying from the kitchen. I looked at the alarm clock 6:50, I knew Carter was on at 8:00, why didn't he wake me, I would have looked after them. I got up opened the door and leaned up against the door frame. Watching him parent them. Jeremy was wearing at least half on the cheerio's and Logan was making goofy faces. "Hey guys listen to your dad." I said walking up to Jeremy and wiping the cheerio's off of his face. "Mommy, I like eggs." I looked down at Logan's plate of eggs. "Yeah I know baby." I walked over to Carter who was cleaning up the kitchen, "Hey, thanks you didn't have to do this, you should have woke me up." Carter smiled at me then put his arm around me kissing the top of my, then walking up to each of the boys and doing the same. "I'm going to take a shower." He said walking into the washroom. I loved how he could so casually kiss me and make me feel like the only women on the planet.
I hope you all like it so far...
Chapter 8-
"So this is it." We walked into his mediocre size apartment, it was clean, I could tell he cleaned just because we were coming. "Uh- the boys room is right down that hall." Carter said nervously, his nervousness made me smile he's cute. I held Jeremy tight as we walked into the back, it was amazing, the room was painted a baby blue, with a border of blue and red, and yellow trucks and cars, the border centred and each boy had their own car bed one red and one blue one. Each boy had a red and white dresser and red and white end table with a red car lamp and a blue car lamp matching the bed. At the end of the bed was a toy box. "Look mommy cars!" Logan screeched running and jumping on the blue car bed. "Yah, you're right it is a nice bed and room, why Carter you've really outdone yourself this time, its great." I carried Jeremy over to his red bed and laid him down under the car comforter. "I want to play." Logan said tossing out cars and action figures out of the box. "Well why don't you let Jeremy sleep and bring some toys out and play in the living room." Carter said, picking Logan and a pile of toys up. I followed them out and watched as Carter sat down and played cars with Logan. "Mommy, can we keep the toys, and beds and stuff." Carter looked up at me as Logan continued to play. "Do we have to give them back when we go back home." I looked and Carter and went down and picked up Logan and brought him back to the couch so I could talk to him, Carter jumped up next to me bringing a car with him. "Logan, uh- we-"
"Mommy." Jeremy's little voice said as he walked his way out of the bed, curling up on the couch next to Carter. "Hey, Jeremy, I was just about to tell Logan that we are going to move here to Chicago." Logan looked up at me and then shrugged, "And yes Logan you get to keep the toys, because this is going to be one of your homes."
"Why?" Jeremy asked sleepily.
"Because this is your daddy, Jer." I said looking down at Logan and then to Jeremy and Jeremy and Logan both looked at Carter and Jeremy put his head on Carters lap yawning. "I thought we didn't have a daddy, I thought daddy sucked." Logan said playing with a toy car. Carter looked at me amused "I sucked."
"That's what uncle Ewic said." Logan continued. Figuring Carter and I would deffintly be having a conversation about this later. "Well, this is your daddy."
"Our real daddy?" Logan said staring at Carter.
"Yes dummy." Jeremy said groggily.
"Hey don't call him that." Carter said jumping into father mode.
"So are you and mommy married?" Jeremy pushed.
"No, honey we're not married." I answered
"oh"
-------------------------------------------
Love wasn't put in your heart to stay Love isn't love till you give it away
--------------------------------------------
"They think I suck?" I continued to clear the plates from dinner, as Carter loaded the dishwasher. "No, Eric thinks you suck." He clearly wasn't impressed with this by the look on his face. "Look, things were bad with us they were really bad, and I don't want the boys to be around anything like that I'll talk to them and Eric and you won't suck anymore and we can be good." I explained easily.
"Okay. They really like that Thomas engine guy huh?" Carter said as he walked into the living room watching them. "Yes he's their favourite." Suddenly he turned around with a more serious look on his face. "What?"
"Uh, Abby I think if we're going to make this arrangement work we've got to go back 3 years." Doing this will defintly result in a nice little fight.
"Carter I don't know if this is such a good idea."
"I loved you Abby, A LOT. You were my world and you left."
"You left first." Okay call me childish but its true.
"Yeah but not with your babies." Now he was hitting home. Hard.
"Look Carter, things were bad, real bad you weren't accepting the fact that my brother was sick and you just expected me to leave him out there. In god knows where, where god knows what could happen, I wanted to be with you and him, and you, you just didn't care about my obligations you just cared about your own." I said walking into the bed room. "Oh so now everything is my fault? Poor little Abby does nothing ever." His voice getting louder. "Keep your voice down their going to hear you. You tried to change me. You tried to make me something I'm not, you wanted me to change so I was good enough for you." Carter was looking angrier by the second.
"Look Abby I chased after you around the god damn world, I came home early for you, I worked extra shifts for you, I did everything in my power to keep that damn thing working and you just acted selfish you were the selfish one, you were the one-" a knock at the door interfered with our argument, Carter opened the door and there was Logan with the phone in his hand. "Mommy, a man wants you." I smiled and grabbed the phone from him. "Thanks Logan." Carter looked at me then picked Logan up and tossed him over his shoulder, "Hey buddy, you want to play cars?" I heard Logan laugh and say yeah!
"Okay, I'm going to put Jeremy to bed first." Carter said, I had a feeling Jeremy would be in bed quickly. "Hello."
"Hey Abby its Luka how is Jeremy?"
"He's better thanks. He is sleeping a lot though kind of dehydrated and he's taking his epilepsy medication as order by you...Doctor." I heard his nice accent laugh.
"I'm glad, they're good boys, very nice kids."
"Thanks."
"Hey I was just calling to see if you wanted to go for dinner with Sam and I tomorrow night, maybe Carter could come too if you want?"
"Uh- yeah tomorrows good, I'll ask Carter if he wants to come." I said lying, knowing I didn't want Carter to come at least not with the way we are now.
"Could you ask him now, we want to make reservations." Oh no, this means we need to find a babysitter to relieve Susan's of these two.
"I don't know Luka, I mean Jeremy just got home what about in two nights?" I hoped this would be okay.
"Sure, you know Sam's son could baby-sit he's very responsible. I can bring him by tomorrow if you would like to meet him." I looked at Carter who gave me and angry stare. "uh- yah, yah sure. That sounds great, Luka." I said not taking my eyes off of the Lego city and cars everywhere. "So ask Carter."
"Carter," He stared at me angry, "Luka- Luka wants to know if you want to go out for dinner, you, me and Sam, 2 days from now, Sam's son will baby-sit." He looked at me with a pained look on his face. "No, I'd rather stay with the boys." I thought that was kind of rude. "Carter, please come for me." He shook his head and Logan smiled up at him.
"go, with Mommy, I think she loves you." He said giggling making me blush.
"Yeah. Okay, I'll go." He said picking Logan up and singing loudly "WE ARE GOING TO BED!" Making Logan laugh.
"Uh- yes we will, we will go with you." I said glumly.
"Everything okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine, thanks Luka." I lied. I really wasn't fine, I wished everything with John would just go to the way they were before, Africa, and funerals and sick brothers.
"Okay, well I have to go Luka. Bye." I said hanging up and crawling into bed sticking a pillow over my head, wow would a drink ever be nice now, but I couldn't do that not to my boys, not too myself. I missed Carter, but I knew going back to the way things were before the twins were born would be impossible. I loved Carter I think, I mean I know I cared about him, but I never thought that we had real true love. I wasn't sure why, but our relationship felt as though I was the one who needed someone to lean on and he wanted me to be something I wasn't...Perfect. Now was different though. Now I felt strong enough that I didn't need someone else to carry some of my load, now I needed someone to love me and want me. I had quit smoking and drinking, I quit both when I was pregnant and damn Carter was lucky he wasn't around then. My mother and brother were both on their meds, mom and Eric were both holding down jobs, and Eric was in a serious healthy relationship I was really happy for them. I wasn't sure how Carter felt about me at the moment, but I knew that I saw Carter differently then I did 3 years ago, I saw him as and open, happy, friendly, loving man. A man that welcomed those two boys into his life with open arms. "Hey," Carter said, as I lifted the pillow off of my head slightly taking a peek and groaning, pretending like I didn't want him their, but secretly I was glad he was here. I wanted to work out our fight. I felt him sit down on the bed then lie down next to me.
"Look, I'm sorry. I just want whatever's going on with us to not have our horrible past attached to us, I want us to start fresh, you me and the boys yah know?" I lifted the pillow off of my head and placed it under my head. "I know me too." I said turning my head towards him and smiling. "Truce?" He said holding out his handI took it and shook it hard, he started to laugh, I loved his laugh. "Jeremy, he's a trooper." I smiled my Jeremy was a trooper. "Yah, he's always been the slower one of the two, the one who hasn't started potty training, he's shyer, he's a sweetie though." Carter smiled then nodded.
"Yeah, Logan he's pretty outgoing and funny." He said with a small smile. "I love them a lot. You know...we can work out a schedule for when u move here, yah know, you can live here as long as you need too." I smiled, I liked New York but it would be nice to live in Chicago again, I had all my old friends and everything. "I can get you a job at county, we can get a nanny if we really, really need one. What did you do before?"
"I had Eric watch them, day cares, babysitters, anything I could think of." I answered we lied next to each other, his hands crossed over his chest and mine at my side, our heads were turned towards each other. "That sounds like a haul." I nodded, it really and truly was. "I talked to Weaver, you have yourself a nursing job." He said with a big goofy grin on his face. "Thank you." It was weird how nicely we were getting along lately.
----------------------------
from A to Z all that
really matters is U and I
-----------------------------
"When Logan was two, He pulled down his pants in the supermarket and said I have a pee, pee." I said in between bouts of laughter. Carter joined in.
"really? He did that, he's so funny." Carter said laughing. I looked over at the clock, it was 12:30, I knew Carter had to work in the morning. I didn't want him to leave though.
"Hey I'm just going to go get ready for bed, you can stay here as long as you want though I don't mind." I said as I walked into the washroom shutting the door behind me letting a small smile cross over my lips. I hoped he would still be there when I got out, I really wanted to spend more time with him.
"Hey," I looked up and saw Carter lying on my bed in scrub pants and a white t- shirt, he was flicking through the channels on the television. I climbed into bed under the covers while Carter was still on top of the blankets. "Well I'll go and let you sleep." He started to sit up. "Uh- you, don't have to go we can watch TV or something." He smiled then lied back down. "Abby, we don't want to do this?" He said in a sing song voice.
"Yeah..."
"Let's not do this."
"Do what?" I was now curious as to what he was going to say, I don't want to sleep with him just he makes me feel good. "You know, this we can't you know-"
"Carter, I just liked spending time with you, I mean we never really, I don't know did this." I said I could feel myself blushing. He smiled a wide smile.
"You're right, look, um I work tomorrow, and everything but I don't work the next day so I don't know we could just hang out if you want?" I nodded gleefully, he was now sitting up. "Okay, I'm going to be." He said with a tiny yawn
"Yeah me too, I'm beat, thanks for the bed." Carter nodded bent down and placed a small kiss on my nose. Which shocked me I didn't expect that.
-----------------------------------------------
I think about you day and night... I swear that your Mr. Right, I'll love you more then you'll ever know.. Baby, that's why I'm never letting yah go
-------------------------------------------------
"Logan, come eat your cheerio's. Jeremy use your spoon." I heard a voice saying from the kitchen. I looked at the alarm clock 6:50, I knew Carter was on at 8:00, why didn't he wake me, I would have looked after them. I got up opened the door and leaned up against the door frame. Watching him parent them. Jeremy was wearing at least half on the cheerio's and Logan was making goofy faces. "Hey guys listen to your dad." I said walking up to Jeremy and wiping the cheerio's off of his face. "Mommy, I like eggs." I looked down at Logan's plate of eggs. "Yeah I know baby." I walked over to Carter who was cleaning up the kitchen, "Hey, thanks you didn't have to do this, you should have woke me up." Carter smiled at me then put his arm around me kissing the top of my, then walking up to each of the boys and doing the same. "I'm going to take a shower." He said walking into the washroom. I loved how he could so casually kiss me and make me feel like the only women on the planet.