Authors note: Sorry it has been so long since I have posted a chapter but I hope you like this one. Its the best I could do. I haven't been inspired lately but this idea came to me, so I hope it goes well. Sorry if you find the story is dragging but expect the wedding chapter to be either chapter 12 over 13.
Chapter 10
--------------------
Don't criticize my
mess unless you'd
like to become
part of it
--------------------
"Mommy!" I heard a tiny voice, screech, then come thumping through the hall. Oh my God. Carter and I! Oh no what will I say to the twins, if they see us in bed?
"Jeremy, let your mommy sleep. She doesn't get much of it yah know." The door was opened a crack, so I could see what they were doing out in the kitchen. Carter scooped Jeremy up into his arms. What a guy. I can't believe what had just happened, and that I let it happen. We can't have a one night stand, not with the boys this could ruin everything for them. I hopped out of bed realizing I was naked. I quickly went to the dresser and pulled out a big grey hooded sweat shirt of Carters, then I went through my stuff and pulled out my navy blue sweats. I decided I couldn't hide forever, so I went out into the kitchen. "Hi mommy." Logan said looking up momentarily from the TV. I walked over and patted his head. "Hey sleeping beauty!" Carter said from the table.
"MOMMY! We got pancakes!" Jeremy said shoving another forkful in his mouth. I went over to his chair and picked Jeremy up and set him on my lap. "How did you sleep." Jeremy said with a huge grin spread across the width of his face. "Good. Honey." I looked up at Carter who was also smiling. "I'm going to watch TV. Okay mommy." I looked down at him and nodded. He jumped off my lap and then joined Logan on the floor.
"So uh do you work today." I said breaking the uncomfortable silence between Carter and I. He got up and started clearing the table. He also was in sweat pants, with a Chicago bulls t-shirt on. His hair was matted down a little a the sides. "For a bit. Not till 5 thought I'll be home by midnight, its a short shift this one. I was hoping maybe we could take the kids to the park." I smiled thinking that would be nice.
"yeah I'd like that." He continued to clean up the mess while I decided to take a shower, I didn't know what to make of this. I mean we had sex and all he can think of to say is lets go to the park? Men I don't get them.
"Carter, can we go on the slide." Jeremy said pulling on carters hand as we made our way to the park. Carter looked down at Jeremy then glanced at me. I nodded at him, the boys ran towards the park as we made our way to a bench. "So?" Carter said turning his chocolate brown eyes to look at me. "So, what?" I asked, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "Last night. What was that?" I laughed a little.
"You don't know what that was." He laughed a little too.
"I mean, did that mean anything to you, 'cause it really, it really did mean something to me." I smiled a little.
"Carter, John. I don't know, I miss you, A LOT! I mean one minute I feel like giving up on you, and then boom, I end up in bed with you. I just don't want us to take things to fast. I want to slow down a bit. I mean we have Jeremy and Logan, we can't do what we did last time. We have responsibilities. I don't want them to get hurt." John nodded sypathetically. "I get it. I just, I need to know if this is going somewhere. I really, need to know."
"I don't know." I said shifting in my seat. I wrapped my leather coat tighter around my self, feeling the storm that was John Carter coming on. "Abby, I don't know doesn't cut it." I could tell he was getting quite flustered over the whole situation.
"John, lets just see." He shook his head, his hair staying neatly intact despite this though.
"I don't want to see. I want to know, is there a future for us. If there isn't then I'm going to move on, I'm going to find someone who will love me. Who won't throw me around wondering what's going to happen next. Besides, maybe you should find out what you want anyways. You don't have your life in order and never have." " He looked serious, maybe having sex with John wasn't such a good idea. I mean it was good sex. Always has been. I just don't want anything serious right now, I want to settle down here in Chicago a bit first.
"Fine if that's what you want then that's what you can have." I said pulling out a cigarette and attempting to light it, although the wind was preventing this. He grabbed the smoke from my fingers, broke it in half and tossed it on the ground. "Don't smoke when the kids around." He said huffing off to play with the boys. I watched from the bench, wondering how we went from clearing things up to back to this. "Mommy, help." Logan giggled as John played with him in the sand. John laughed tossing Logan over his shoulder then going down the slide with him like that. I looked at John and smiled, would things ever be right between us? Who knew.
---------------------------
Consciousness- that
annoying time between
naps
---------------------------
"More chicken please." Logan said shoving his plate at John. John walked by fastening his tie around his neck as we ate our dinner. "I'll get it baby." I said getting up.
"no." John said sharply as he took the plate from him.
"Are you sad?" Logan asked turning to look at him. John looked at him and shrugged.
"Yeah a little." He brought the plate full of cut up chicken and placed it infront of Logan.
"Its okay daddy. I love you." Logan said grabbing Carter by the arm and bringing him down so he could kiss him on the cheek. Carter responded by pulling Logan out of his chair and hugging him and kissing him until he was rolling in laughter.
"Do you love me too?" Jeremy asked with puppy dog eyes. John nodded placing Logan down and kissing Jeremy. I watched seeing how great a dad John was being to the boys. I wished one day we could make it work, some how.
"I'm off to work." He said putting his shoes on not looking at me.
"Bye." I said as loving as possible.
"Yup." With that he was gone.
-------------------------------
If you do it you'll regret it,
if you don't do it you'll
regret it, either way your
going to regret it, you
might as well just do it
--------------------------------
Authors Note: Hey my next chapter of my other story is being posted soon.
Chapter 10
--------------------
Don't criticize my
mess unless you'd
like to become
part of it
--------------------
"Mommy!" I heard a tiny voice, screech, then come thumping through the hall. Oh my God. Carter and I! Oh no what will I say to the twins, if they see us in bed?
"Jeremy, let your mommy sleep. She doesn't get much of it yah know." The door was opened a crack, so I could see what they were doing out in the kitchen. Carter scooped Jeremy up into his arms. What a guy. I can't believe what had just happened, and that I let it happen. We can't have a one night stand, not with the boys this could ruin everything for them. I hopped out of bed realizing I was naked. I quickly went to the dresser and pulled out a big grey hooded sweat shirt of Carters, then I went through my stuff and pulled out my navy blue sweats. I decided I couldn't hide forever, so I went out into the kitchen. "Hi mommy." Logan said looking up momentarily from the TV. I walked over and patted his head. "Hey sleeping beauty!" Carter said from the table.
"MOMMY! We got pancakes!" Jeremy said shoving another forkful in his mouth. I went over to his chair and picked Jeremy up and set him on my lap. "How did you sleep." Jeremy said with a huge grin spread across the width of his face. "Good. Honey." I looked up at Carter who was also smiling. "I'm going to watch TV. Okay mommy." I looked down at him and nodded. He jumped off my lap and then joined Logan on the floor.
"So uh do you work today." I said breaking the uncomfortable silence between Carter and I. He got up and started clearing the table. He also was in sweat pants, with a Chicago bulls t-shirt on. His hair was matted down a little a the sides. "For a bit. Not till 5 thought I'll be home by midnight, its a short shift this one. I was hoping maybe we could take the kids to the park." I smiled thinking that would be nice.
"yeah I'd like that." He continued to clean up the mess while I decided to take a shower, I didn't know what to make of this. I mean we had sex and all he can think of to say is lets go to the park? Men I don't get them.
"Carter, can we go on the slide." Jeremy said pulling on carters hand as we made our way to the park. Carter looked down at Jeremy then glanced at me. I nodded at him, the boys ran towards the park as we made our way to a bench. "So?" Carter said turning his chocolate brown eyes to look at me. "So, what?" I asked, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "Last night. What was that?" I laughed a little.
"You don't know what that was." He laughed a little too.
"I mean, did that mean anything to you, 'cause it really, it really did mean something to me." I smiled a little.
"Carter, John. I don't know, I miss you, A LOT! I mean one minute I feel like giving up on you, and then boom, I end up in bed with you. I just don't want us to take things to fast. I want to slow down a bit. I mean we have Jeremy and Logan, we can't do what we did last time. We have responsibilities. I don't want them to get hurt." John nodded sypathetically. "I get it. I just, I need to know if this is going somewhere. I really, need to know."
"I don't know." I said shifting in my seat. I wrapped my leather coat tighter around my self, feeling the storm that was John Carter coming on. "Abby, I don't know doesn't cut it." I could tell he was getting quite flustered over the whole situation.
"John, lets just see." He shook his head, his hair staying neatly intact despite this though.
"I don't want to see. I want to know, is there a future for us. If there isn't then I'm going to move on, I'm going to find someone who will love me. Who won't throw me around wondering what's going to happen next. Besides, maybe you should find out what you want anyways. You don't have your life in order and never have." " He looked serious, maybe having sex with John wasn't such a good idea. I mean it was good sex. Always has been. I just don't want anything serious right now, I want to settle down here in Chicago a bit first.
"Fine if that's what you want then that's what you can have." I said pulling out a cigarette and attempting to light it, although the wind was preventing this. He grabbed the smoke from my fingers, broke it in half and tossed it on the ground. "Don't smoke when the kids around." He said huffing off to play with the boys. I watched from the bench, wondering how we went from clearing things up to back to this. "Mommy, help." Logan giggled as John played with him in the sand. John laughed tossing Logan over his shoulder then going down the slide with him like that. I looked at John and smiled, would things ever be right between us? Who knew.
---------------------------
Consciousness- that
annoying time between
naps
---------------------------
"More chicken please." Logan said shoving his plate at John. John walked by fastening his tie around his neck as we ate our dinner. "I'll get it baby." I said getting up.
"no." John said sharply as he took the plate from him.
"Are you sad?" Logan asked turning to look at him. John looked at him and shrugged.
"Yeah a little." He brought the plate full of cut up chicken and placed it infront of Logan.
"Its okay daddy. I love you." Logan said grabbing Carter by the arm and bringing him down so he could kiss him on the cheek. Carter responded by pulling Logan out of his chair and hugging him and kissing him until he was rolling in laughter.
"Do you love me too?" Jeremy asked with puppy dog eyes. John nodded placing Logan down and kissing Jeremy. I watched seeing how great a dad John was being to the boys. I wished one day we could make it work, some how.
"I'm off to work." He said putting his shoes on not looking at me.
"Bye." I said as loving as possible.
"Yup." With that he was gone.
-------------------------------
If you do it you'll regret it,
if you don't do it you'll
regret it, either way your
going to regret it, you
might as well just do it
--------------------------------
Authors Note: Hey my next chapter of my other story is being posted soon.