Shadow of a Girl
Chapter Two:
Look to the Future
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"Maria!"
I heard Shadow's voice from somewhere down the hall.
It was the strangest thing... the last time I'd seen Shadow was the day before... he was never gone for that long... an hour or two at most...
"Mariaaa!" Shadow called again.
"Shadow? Where are you?" I stepped lightly down the hallway, when a distraught heap of black fur flew into me.
"Mariaaaa!" he whimpered, lying on my lap. He was crying.
"Shadow? Where'd he go?" I heard Grandpa come stumping down the hallway. He came across us, me sitting where I'd fallen, Shadow wailing, huddled against me.
"What's wrong with him?" I asked.
Grandpa sighed. "I was hoping that he wouldn't react this badly..." he murmured.
"To what?"
"I... well, I conducted a new experiment on him, Maria," Grandpa said, almost apologetically.
"... what kind of experiment?"
"Well... genetic engineering. I was trying to give him a new gene that would enhance his body..."
"What?!" I gently slid Shadow off of me and stood up. "Grandpa, tell me before you do these things!"
Grandpa sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't think..."
Shadow clung to my legs, still sniffling a little. "Grampa scary..." he squeaked out, having learned to talk a little bit better.
"Did I scare you? I'm sorry, Shadow," Grandpa said, kneeling down to Shadow's height. The little hedgehog darted around behind me and hid.
"Well... I'll just take Shadow back to my room, I guess," I said, holding his small hand in mine. "Come on, Shadow! I got a new book!"
"Grampa scary!!" He repeated, then pulled his little face into a frown.
"Don't you want me to read to you?" I asked, trying to get him to calm down.
"Maria nice," he said, smiling and taking my hand, pulling me towards my room.
I heard Grandpa sigh and walk off in the opposite direction. 'Just as well,' I thought. 'Maybe we should let Shadow have some time to cool off...'
Little did I know that Shadow would, quite literally, have all the time in the world.
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When we got to my room, I looked on my bookshelf for the new book that Grandpa had brought for me from Earth. "Here it is, Shadow," I said, pulling it out from between a book of nursery rhymes and a picture book. "Black Beauty. It's about a horse, and he's got black fur, just like you!" I showed him the cover. "Doesn't it sound good?" I wasn't really sure if he'd actually understand everything I read to him, since it was a pretty hard book, but it was better than him staying upset.
"Come here, Shadow," I said, sitting down on my bed. Shadow stopped staring out of the window and sat down next to me.
"This book is about a horse, and he lives in--"
"Shadow immorduh."
"... what?" I wondered what he was saying.
"Shadow immorduh!" he repeated, apparently still quite upset.
"Shadow what?"
"Shadow immorduh!!" he said, sounding annoyed. "Immorduh, immorduh, immorduh!"
"Wait, slow down, what are you saying?"
"Sha... dow... im... mor... duh!" he said, frowning.
"'Immoral'? Is that what you said?" That didn't make any sense.
"Nooo!" he laughed. "Immorduh!"
"Immorduh? What's that?"
"Shadow dunno."
'Im... mor... duh... immorda... immor... ta...? Wait...'
"You mean 'immortal'?" I asked, still not believing him.
"Hee! Yeah," he said, touching the book. "Maria read!"
"Who told you that you were immortal?" I asked, wondering if he'd just heard the word somewhere, maybe from the scientists talking about the Biolizard. It was supposed to be immortal...
"Grampa. Grampa scary. Maria read!" he repeated.
I thought, 'Grandpa said that Shadow was immortal?!'
"Are you making up stories?" I asked him, skeptically.
"No! Grampa say, 'Grampa make Shadow immorduh.' Maria read!"
I slipped off the bed and stood up. "I'm going to go talk to Grandpa..." I said. "I'll read to you when I get back." I walked out the door.
Shadow stood up on my bed and pouted. "Maria read!!" he said loudly, then picked up the book and followed me.
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"Grandpa!!" I called, opening the dor to his lab.
"Oh, Maria, what brings you here? I thought you were going to read to Shadow?"
"Grandpa? Shadow told me that you told him that he's immortal," I said.
"Oh... yes... well... you see, Maria..." Grandpa took a deep breath. "That's what I was trying to experiment with. I was trying to give him genes that would give him immortality. It's part of Project Shadow."
"Grandpa..." I said, my mouth open. "You mean... Shadow's never going to...?"
Grandpa stood up from his desk and walked to me. He pulled me into a hug and said, "Maria, sweetie, listen. No matter how close you and Shadow are, you must remember that he is still part of Project Shadow. And the goal of Project Shadow is to find the genes that will cure your disease. Shadow is an important part of the project."
"Maria read!" Shadow said. Apparently, I hadn't closed the door all the way and he'd let himself in.
Grandpa laughed at him. "Maria, listen. I didn't do much of anything to him. I inserted a certain gene into his genetic code, but I'll have to wait a while to see if anything happens. Listen..." He picked Shadow up. "No matter what happens to the little one, he's still the same Shadow. I'll tell you now, and get it over with... but... these experiments might make Shadow grow up a little faster. But he'll still be the same person on the inside. Nothing I do will change that."
"Grandpa..." I said, knowing that his heart was in the right place.
"Grampa lemme go! Maria read!" Shadow said, squirming.
"Haha... okay, down you go," Grandpa said, gently lowering Shadow to the ground. "I think he wants you to read to him," he said to me.
"Okay..." I said, feeling better. "Come on, Shadow, I'll read you that book."
"No! Don't wanna read this book! Wanna read nurshery rhymes!" he said, handing me the book. I laughed.
"Shadow..."
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But... Grandpa was right. Shadow did grow up.
He timed it so that the genes would activate just when Shadow was growing out of babyhood.
I still don't know exactly what Grandpa did to him... but Shadow became different. I could tell.
Maybe part of it was just that he was growing up. Maybe part of it was because his genetic code was altered. Maybe...
I guess... I was growing up too. I stopped reading about Earth in my picture books and started watching it... watching the real thing...
"Maria?" I turned to see Shadow, standing besides me. He wasn't like a little baby of two or three anymore, but more like a kid of seven or eight... taller, quieter, curious about his world...
"Hi, Shadow." I smiled. "Come, let's look at Earth."
Shadow stepped lightly to the window, his hover-skates that Grandpa had built for him a few months ago clinking on the floor. "Wow... it's pretty," he said, looking at it, never having lost his awe at the blue sphere below us.
"Mmm... I want to go there someday," I murmured, dreaming of what life was like there..."
Shadow turned and looked at me suddenly. "Maria... don't go. You're going to get sick..."
I looked at him reassuringly. "Oh, I mean when I'm cured! Grandpa's close... I know it..." I smiled.
Shadow smiled too. When I was happy, he was happy. "Grandpa said that he's really close. He said that I'm the best thing that could happen for you."
"You are, Shadow... you are."
A few moments of silence passed between us. I sighed quietly, thinking about Shadow... remembering how he was... immortal... how he'd never...
...
I remembered back, when I'd been so worried for his life, when he was just a little baby...
Of course, he didn't remember anything from that long ago... it was a little misty for me, too.
My thoughts were interrupted by Shadow's voice.
"Maria? What are we going to do when we get to Earth?"
I thought. "Well... I guess we'll go see the whole world!"
"But haven't we already seen the whole thing?" Shadow looked at the planet, watching it go by us.
"No... not up close. And that," I said, "is the only way to see something so big..."
Shadow was silent for a few minutes. Then, a little shakily, he asked me...
"Maria...? You're not... you're not gonna let me get lost... will you?"
I laughed. "No. You won't get lost."
"... okay..." He was quiet a little longer.
Then, out of the blue, he asked me something that I'd never thought about before.
"... I'm... I'm 'immortal'... right? Is... is that... a... a bad thing...?" He looked at me, almost like he was crying.
"What? No, no..." I knelt down to his height. "What gave you that idea?"
He sniffled. "I heard some people talking... with Gra-- the professor" - he said, correcting himself... he felt that 'professor' was a big, smart word - "they said I was immortal. They said that... that..." He looked at the floor sadly.
"Shadow, no... it's not..." I stopped too.
"But, if I never die... are you immortal too?" he asked, almost hopefully.
I had to think about how I was going to say this. "... well... no. I'm not."
Shadow's eyes widened, and he looked at his shoes.
"But... if I'm gonna be immortal... why can't you?"
I inwardly sighed, not knowing what to say. "... that's just not... I'm... I..."
"I don't wanna live forever!" he wailed, suddenly hugging me around my middle. "I don't wanna live forever if you can't too!"
"Shadow... listen!" I pushed him away gently.
"Listen... don't worry. Don't worry about the future. We've both got our whole lives ahead of us. Make the most of it." He sniffled. I continued, "Okay... maybe you will live longer than me... but if you do..." I tried to smile. "If you do... then you can watch over my whole family. Forever..."
"... forever...?"
I nodded.
He buried his face in my stomach. "I don't want to live forever."
I suddenly felt torn. Grandpa's project, searching for immortality... but now that he was so close, his "project" didn't want to be immortal...
"Shadow... please. Just don't think about it," I said, almost crying myself.
"I want to stay with you... I don't want to go to Earth. I don't want to get lost. I don't want to live forever... I don't care," he said. "I don't want to be Project Shadow anymore..."
"No... you're not just Project Shadow. You're my friend," I said, pushing him away softly again. "You're my best friend. And, as my best friend, I want you to promise me something." He looked at me.
"I want us to go to Earth. I want to help everyone on Earth as long as I can. I want to help Earth," I said, telling him my wishes.
"Can you help me?" Shadow blinked, then nodded slowly.
"But I still don't want to live forever."
I sighed.
"Just don't think about it, Shadow... just enjoy life, no matter how long it is."
Then, I told him something that I'd heard a long time ago...
"'How you were born doesn't matter... it is what you do with the gift of life that makes you who you are.'"
"What does that mean?"
"I guess... I guess it means that, it doesn't matter how you were born, but it's what you do with your life that makes it all worth it."
"I'm going to live a long time, I guess," Shadow said, thinking out loud. "So I guess I'm going to do good things, to make life worth living."
He paused, then continued. "I guess... I guess I could take care of your family..."
I was surprised by this sudden show of maturity. The moment was interrupted by Shadow's stomach growling.
He grinned at me, cheerfully. "I want lunch! Let's go get lunch!"
I laughed. Shadow always made me laugh.
I was fourteen.
Shadow was six.
But...
He was growing up.
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It wasn't easy for him.
He had sudden growth spurts, and his mind was often confused, as if he was stuck between childhood and adolescence.
Often, I wondered why Grandpa had even caused these changes in him.
Then I remembered that it was for my benefit.
Shadow now stood almost at his full height of three feet, three inches. I was about five feet tall.
Shadow's mind was growing just as rapidly as his body.
It was two years later.
I was sixteen.
But no one was sure exactly how old Shadow was anymore.
Chronologically, he shouldn't have been older than eight.
But physically and mentally, he was about my age, or older.
However, the ordeal was nearly over for him. The genes that Grandpa had given him were starting to wear off, as his natural growth was starting to take effect.
In all other ways, Shadow was like a normal person. His personality was becoming quite defined. Quiet, serious, but still caring at heart.
Life on ARK was an everyday thing for us. It was our home: that was where we lived.
Our dreams, of reaching Earth: we still held them in our hearts.
Everything was perfect. Our space colony was our home, heaven.
We didn't want anything to change.
But... it did.
Somehow, the military base called G.U.N., back on Earth, was receiving information about Project Shadow.
The Biolizard. The Prototype of the Ultimate Life Form.
It was true. After all of these years, I'd hardly paid any attention to it. Shadow and I spent most of our time in a different part of the colony.
But it was still there. And it still wasn't completed.
Shadow almost was.
The Biolizard needed to be contained nearly all the time. It was dangerous, apparently... but Grandpa had gotten so far, he hated to have to waste a life.
Of course... Shadow and I had no idea of what was going on, between ARK and G.U.N., the Biolizard and Project Shadow.
Until that day.
That last day... the day that Shadow was completed.
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Shadow was staying in the lab, overnight.
Grandpa had smiled at the two of us, saying, "This won't hurt you a bit, Shadow. I just need to take a small sample of your DNA. And then," his eyes sparkled at me, "our little Maria will finally be cured."
Shadow and I smiled joyfully at each other.
We were so close. We could almost touch that reality.
We were going to Earth.
Shadow waved good-bye to me briefly, then followed Grandpa to the lab. I decided to go back to the abandoned lab. I wanted to take another look at Earth, that planet which was so close to me now.
Just a few hours. Just a few hours, and everything would become even more perfect than before.
I could live on Earth. I would be able to stay there, breathe the air, see the sights, hear the sounds... to be able to live on Earth...
I felt so happy. My throat started to tighten.
I sat by the window, staring at the empty space beyond.
Suddenly... it struck me.
"Grandpa... Shadow... thank you..."
Without Shadow... and Grandpa... I'd never have this chance.
"Thank you so much..."
Thank you, Shadow... you gave me so much happiness in those past years.
Thank you, Grandpa... you kept working away, searching for a cure... just for me...
... thank you, both of you...
I decided to return to Grandpa's lab. They should be about done by now... it was a little before noon, just about time for lunch.
As I rounded the corner to Grandpa's lab, a piercing noise suddenly filled the air and red lights began to flash.
Grandpa dashed out of the door. "Maria!" he shouted over the din.
"Grandpa?! What's going on?" I yelled, frightened. Nothing like this had ever happened before...
"Those horrid..." I heard Grandpa mutter. He looked around worriedly. "Where is Shadow?"
"I don't know! I thought he was with you!" I said, close to tears. "What's happening?!"
"It's that wretched G.U.N..." he said, looking around. "They're... they're trying to shut down Project Shadow... but I never thought that they'd take it this far..."
"Why? What?"
"They're trying to force us to give it up," Grandpa growled.
What?! No! Not when we were so close...
Suddenly, Shadow dashed towards us. "Professor!! Maria!! What's going on?!"
Grandpa gritted his teeth and looked down the hallways nervously. "Maria, listen very carefully to me! I want you to go up to one of the labs, find an escape capsule, any capsule, and leave ARK. You must get out of here!"
"Grandpa..." I cried. What was going to happen to us?
Grandpa gave us some hurried instructions. "Maria, I'll meet you when you reach Earth... as long as the capsules don't malfunction, you should arrive there safe and sound... Stay in the capsule until I come to you... And don't worry about landing in the ocean," he added. "All the capsules have a homing device that will bring it to the government headquarters." He added to Shadow, "Keep her safe."
Shadow nodded. I knew he would. He grabbed my hand, and we headed back up the hallway that I'd just left, towards the abandoned lab. There were escape capsules there.
As we left, I heard Grandpa's voice...
... for the last time.
"I love you, Maria! Take care, both of you!"
Now alone, Shadow and I ran as fast as we could down the hallway. Neither one of us was very strong.
Then, we heard them...
... that rogue military group...
... G.U.N.
Their footsteps thudded down the halls. It sounded like they were wearing huge, heavy boots...
My soft slippers skimmed against the hard floor. Shadow's hover-skates echoed against the walls. I could tell that he was debating whether to activate them or not...
"Don't let them escape!"
"Maria..." Shadow said, almost panting for breath.
"I'll be okay," I said, not wanting to worry him. He looked at me worriedly, then continued. My feet barely touched the floor as he tried to pull me a little faster...
There. There. We were there.
The huge door to the abandoned lab. It was there, we were almost there...
The door almost flew open at Shadow's touch. He was terrified... I felt it through his gloved hand.
"Stop or we'll shoot!"
I summoned up my last bits of energy and ran to the control panels. I tried desperately to bring a capsule to us...
... there. It was right there...
... but I was too late.
They got me.
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The sea needs the wind, and the morning needs the sun
In the same way, we all need something too
What you need is someone
Who will always be by your side
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"NO!!"
I looked up, just in time to see Shadow, starting towards me...
No... no, I couldn't pull him down with me...
"Maria!!"
Shadow! No! Stay back!
I held my hand up, trying to catch enough breath to speak...
"No... Shadow..."
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A forest needs water, and the night needs the light
In the same way, we all need something too
Someone who will pray whole-heartedly
That your life will be saved
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He stopped. I saw him look at me, unable to do anything except listen to me.
He was just close enough... just close enough...
I reached out... and pushed him backwards.
Whatever it was, his confusion or his anguish, he'd let his guard down enough that he stumbled backwards, right...
... there...
I hit the button.
I shut the capsule.
He was in it.
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No matter how long and far a road stretches
We'll always get through
But sometimes as you're walking, you pause
And wonder if your dreams are still burning so bright
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"What..." For a second, Shadow's eyes, blind to anything but me, stared at this glass prison. Then they unglazed.
He looked at me, terrified, alone.
"Maria..."
Please... forgive me, old friend.
His fists slammed against the glass, too overcome by his agony to have much impact.
"MARIA!!"
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Don't be afraid, don't lose your courage
You're not alone
Always together, we'll chase stars
That even now are shining
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I look at his sad face, scared... even more scared than I remember, from the first time I met him.
I don't cry. I just... can't.
I know. My life is just about over.
But I don't feel scared.
I have to do this. I have to save him.
I can see how much pain I'm causing him... how much sorrow...
... but I can't pull him down with me.
I can't let him die here.
Shadow...
"Shadow, I beg of you, please do it for me... for a better future! For all the people who live on that planet... give them a chance to be happy..."
Don't be angry with them, Shadow... they're not all bad people...
"Maria..." I heard Shadow say, dumbfounded.
No, Shadow... don't lose your hope. No...
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Even if the future is a whirlpool of hatred
That wants to pull us under
We won't lose our hearts
That always believe in forgiveness
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"Let them live for their dreams. Shadow, I know you can do it. That's the reason you were brought into this world."
Just like me, Shadow. You were born to save me.
Let those people on Earth have chances to lead happier lives. Who knows... maybe there are people down there... with the same disease that I had...
He stood limply, knowing that... this was...
... goodbye...
"Sayonara... Shadow... the Hedgehog..."
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The sea needs the wind, and the morning needs the sun
In the same way, we all need something too
What you need is someone
Who will always be by your side
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I touch the controls again.
Shadow disappeared.
As the world around me grows dimmer, a fleeting thought comes to me.
I hope you can hear me...
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No matter how long and far a slope stretches
You can always climb it
But sometimes as you're walking, you pause
And wonder if your dreams are still burning so bright
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Good-bye... old friend...
Please... and remember...
Remember, Shadow...
For as long as you live...
I will always love you.
Don't forget...
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Even if we become lost in a world where fighting never stops
We'll never forget our hearts
That always believe in love and understanding
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Fin