Disclaimer: I don't own anything; if I did I wouldn't work at burger king for a lousy 5.75
No matter how much I wish I did though, it just ain't happening.
It is a universal concept, and usually a fatal flaw - going back one last time. It is more risky than rewarding. Only rarely does it end well. I thought, after the last fight and the resulting problems, I was done. I said my piece, fought the good fight and stood up for what I believed in. I took my blows, got in a few of my own and managed to walk away on my own two feet. And isn't that the way it's supposed to end?
Not in my world.
In my world, the fight doesn't stop. The war never ends. Enemies don't become friends. Peace is a myth and resistance is the only way to stay alive in any meaningful way. The battlefield changes. The goal is the same - actualization. It's a struggle that continues, no matter how tired, battered or bloody I may be.
My name is Harry Potter and all I live for is to live another day. As stupid as that might seem, it's the truth. Since the age of one I have been a celebrity, the hero, the strong willed monarch that was sent to save the wizarding race from mortal peril. Well dammit, maybe I didn't want to be the hero, maybe I just wanted to be a regular kid with regular problems. Maybe just maybe I wanted to have a chance to fight with my parents and to complain about how unfair life is; well I never got a chance. I will for ever be known as The-Boy-Who-Lived, even if I don't remember anything about that horrible night. My parents murdered, my life ripped apart by the seams, and I, sent to a place were I would never know love. But as the great Dumbledore said it was for my own protection. Well I say fuck my protection, cuz I'm sick and tired of saving face, and acting strong, and pretending not to care, when really I've cared all along. My life is an ongoing struggle that I have to fight day to day just to keep a float.
Sure I have help, the Weasleys for example without there love and support I would have gave up awhile ago, then there's Hermione. God love Hermione. With out her I wouldn't be alive right now. My God father Sirius Black, well he died, did I mention it was because of me, I always have to play the hero you know, and it always gets me up shit creek with out a paddle. Then there's the rest of the Order, but they can only help so much, you see, because no matter what none of them have been were I am now. As of right now it's either kill or be killed so I'm kind of in a sticky position.
I don't care about how much of a rotten bastard Voldemort is, I don't want to kill him any more then I want him to kill me. So I've came to a conclusion my life has been pretty much fucked from the womb. It sucks because today's my 16 birthday, I'm suppose to be celebrating it with my mother and father, and friends from school, and Sirius. But instead im sitting in my so called room, alone writing myself a letter, that I wouldn't even be bothered to read if I hadn't wrote it myself. But all in all things could be worse; you see I could only have one arm. How could I play Quidditch with one arm? You see my point I couldn't.
Can I tell you something though, I think God woke up one day and said to him self "Hmmmm there's a kid that I'm going to torture all his life for the hell of having nothing better to do." Anyone reading this probably thinks I'm in a bit of a pity party. Hell yes im in a fucking pity party, dammit don't you think I deserve one once in awhile. No? Well I do. I'll tell you, live my life for one day then you can tell me to smile or be happy or grow up and stop acting like a little baby. My friends they just don't understand it. And Ron, he acts if as I planned this. Throwing little tantrums all the time, sometimes I just want to slap him upside his head and tell him to get a clue. But that wouldn't be very "Harry" of me, now would it. Then there's Hermione, always fighting with Ron, always bickering about the most trivial things. Just get married already, Jesus Christ.
But as much as they get on my nerves I love them to death and would, I repeat would give my life for either of them. So all I can say is that no matter how hard my life gets, the battle that I face everyday, every second is almost worth it in the end. Cuz I've learned not to complain cuz chances are things are about to get a hell of a lot worse, I'm so optimistic.
It's all relevant to life though, all of it, the triumphs, the tragedy's, the happiness. So there's really not much more that I can say except that I'm defiantly going to burn this letter the first chance I get, wouldn't want it falling into the wrong hands. With my luck one of the Slytherins would find it and sell it to some kid for ten Galleons, only to have it wind up on some web site on the stupid internet that the Dursleys are always talking about.
Harry J. Potter