Disclaimer - If you still think I own anything go hang out with the fop.
A Guinea Pig Rendered Speechless
(The next morning everyone is getting ready for their speeches and the judges are seated at the stand.)
Announcer: Contestant number one is Mary-Sue Lovelocks. Her speech is titled, "The Amazing Me."
Mary-Sue: (Walks out in completely white outfit [Eww]) Like oh my God! I forgot my speech so like I'll just like make some stuff up. Let's see. I'm like amazing in like everyway! I am so totally awesome and I love to like ride ponies and stuff! Ponies are so fuzzy. How could anyone hate something fuzzy? I dunno so bye!
Crowd: **Blink**
(Some other girls go up and talk about their accomplishments and their hair and stuff like that. Then it's Jessica's turn)
Jessica: My hero is not of flesh and blood, but of pen and ink. Thanks to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle his adventures unfolded before our eyes. Sherlock Holmes was and extraordinary intellectual who would know your whole life story simply by using the power of deduction. He also played the violin and was a master chemist; all of these skills helped him develop into the greatest detective of all time. I am aspiring to be a forensic scientist, the modern detective, and by reading Sherlock Holmes stories I have learned many things that can help me in my chosen career. So if you ask me why Sherlock Holmes is my hero, "It's elementary my dear." Thank you.
Crowd: **Applauds for several minutes until finally told to stop clapping**
(Several other people come up and then it's Erica's turn.)
Erica: A lesson you should learn in life is acceptance. My favorite book, The Phantom of the Opera, is an example of that. All of his life Erik is hated and ridiculed because he has a deformity, although he is a genius. Finally he falls in love with Christine Daae and proclaims to be her "Angel of Music," a legendary angel her father told her about as a child. For several months she takes lessons from him and is finally given her debut in Faust. Then, Raoul de Changy comes into the picture and ruins everyone's life because he's a stupid, handsome, Viscomte. Soon Christine sees Erik's face, and rejects him because of his appearance. Then, she ran away with the fop and they let Erik suffer. So you see, you should accept people because if you don't there are consequences. Thank you.
Crowd: **Applauds until they're told to stop**
(The competition finishes and everyone goes outside to ride go-carts that the pageant people let them use. Well actually there are several go-carts [45 to be exact] and everyone who is important is riding them.)
Jessica: (Yelling to Erica) This is fun! I wonder why they're letting us do this. (Hits what she thinks is a speed bump and keeps going along. She looks back to see if it was one and sees a mass of fur plastered to the road. She doesn't say anything to Erica who is riding ahead; in fact she plans to keep it a secret)
(Five minutes later when everyone has to get off their go-carts)
Raoul: **looking around** has anyone seen my guinea pig, princess? **Sees the road kill and runs over crying and screaming like a girl** Princess! He was such a good guinea pig! I love you princess! **Wailing and screaming even more. Most of the other girls, except Erica and Jessica start to cry too**
Christine: Did you just say HE was a good guinea pig and HIS name was Princess?
Raoul: **Still sobbing** Yes! Princess was such a good boy!
Watson: **Pulling on Holmes's shirt cuffs like a child** Let's solve to mystery of the road pancake!
Sherlock: Oh please, it's only a dead guinea pig. No one really cares.
Raoul: **Begging at his feet** Please Mr. Holmes! I want to know who killed my poor Princess! **Gets an idea** I think it was Erik! He always hated Princess since he would piddle on his papers.
Erik: Sherlock can tell you I couldn't even start my go-cart so it couldn't have been me **under his breath** although I wish it was.
Raoul: **Starts to sob again** Please! Please! Please!
Sherlock: This is pitiful. I knew I shouldn't have come to America. Oh well, I suppose I can help you fop.
Raoul: **Gets all happy and perky** We're going to figure out who killed my precious baby boy Princess!
A Guinea Pig Rendered Speechless
(The next morning everyone is getting ready for their speeches and the judges are seated at the stand.)
Announcer: Contestant number one is Mary-Sue Lovelocks. Her speech is titled, "The Amazing Me."
Mary-Sue: (Walks out in completely white outfit [Eww]) Like oh my God! I forgot my speech so like I'll just like make some stuff up. Let's see. I'm like amazing in like everyway! I am so totally awesome and I love to like ride ponies and stuff! Ponies are so fuzzy. How could anyone hate something fuzzy? I dunno so bye!
Crowd: **Blink**
(Some other girls go up and talk about their accomplishments and their hair and stuff like that. Then it's Jessica's turn)
Jessica: My hero is not of flesh and blood, but of pen and ink. Thanks to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle his adventures unfolded before our eyes. Sherlock Holmes was and extraordinary intellectual who would know your whole life story simply by using the power of deduction. He also played the violin and was a master chemist; all of these skills helped him develop into the greatest detective of all time. I am aspiring to be a forensic scientist, the modern detective, and by reading Sherlock Holmes stories I have learned many things that can help me in my chosen career. So if you ask me why Sherlock Holmes is my hero, "It's elementary my dear." Thank you.
Crowd: **Applauds for several minutes until finally told to stop clapping**
(Several other people come up and then it's Erica's turn.)
Erica: A lesson you should learn in life is acceptance. My favorite book, The Phantom of the Opera, is an example of that. All of his life Erik is hated and ridiculed because he has a deformity, although he is a genius. Finally he falls in love with Christine Daae and proclaims to be her "Angel of Music," a legendary angel her father told her about as a child. For several months she takes lessons from him and is finally given her debut in Faust. Then, Raoul de Changy comes into the picture and ruins everyone's life because he's a stupid, handsome, Viscomte. Soon Christine sees Erik's face, and rejects him because of his appearance. Then, she ran away with the fop and they let Erik suffer. So you see, you should accept people because if you don't there are consequences. Thank you.
Crowd: **Applauds until they're told to stop**
(The competition finishes and everyone goes outside to ride go-carts that the pageant people let them use. Well actually there are several go-carts [45 to be exact] and everyone who is important is riding them.)
Jessica: (Yelling to Erica) This is fun! I wonder why they're letting us do this. (Hits what she thinks is a speed bump and keeps going along. She looks back to see if it was one and sees a mass of fur plastered to the road. She doesn't say anything to Erica who is riding ahead; in fact she plans to keep it a secret)
(Five minutes later when everyone has to get off their go-carts)
Raoul: **looking around** has anyone seen my guinea pig, princess? **Sees the road kill and runs over crying and screaming like a girl** Princess! He was such a good guinea pig! I love you princess! **Wailing and screaming even more. Most of the other girls, except Erica and Jessica start to cry too**
Christine: Did you just say HE was a good guinea pig and HIS name was Princess?
Raoul: **Still sobbing** Yes! Princess was such a good boy!
Watson: **Pulling on Holmes's shirt cuffs like a child** Let's solve to mystery of the road pancake!
Sherlock: Oh please, it's only a dead guinea pig. No one really cares.
Raoul: **Begging at his feet** Please Mr. Holmes! I want to know who killed my poor Princess! **Gets an idea** I think it was Erik! He always hated Princess since he would piddle on his papers.
Erik: Sherlock can tell you I couldn't even start my go-cart so it couldn't have been me **under his breath** although I wish it was.
Raoul: **Starts to sob again** Please! Please! Please!
Sherlock: This is pitiful. I knew I shouldn't have come to America. Oh well, I suppose I can help you fop.
Raoul: **Gets all happy and perky** We're going to figure out who killed my precious baby boy Princess!