Disclaimer - You know it, I know it so I'm not gonna say it.
The Investigation Begins
(Everyone is watching the TV and some reporter comes on with a special bulletin)
Reporter: I'm here, outside this hotel where the murder of the century has been committed. Mr. Raoul de Chagny's male guinea pig, Princess, was cold- bloodedly murdered yesterday outside this very location. I am here with Mr. Changy who wants to say a few words about the murder.
Raoul: All I want to say is that the murder of a guy's defenseless guinea pig should be punishable by the death penalty! Oh yea and Watson, I want my teletubbie dolls back! **Starts to cry again**
Reporter: Those are the grief stricken words of a sad man. Back to you John.
(Erik shuts off the TV)
Erik: This is pathetic. All that happened was someone accidentally killed a loose rat.
Sherlock: At least they didn't ask you to figure it out.
Erik: True I can be thankful for that.
Sherlock: I may just pin it on Mary-Sue and be done with it, but then my reputation would be tainted.
Jessica: I won't tell if you don't tell.
Watson: **Laughing** But I will!
Sherlock: **Takes out walking stick that if you press a tiny button a dagger comes out** If you're smart you'll keep quiet.
Watson: **Gets scared and trembles** Shutting up.
Sherlock: That's what I thought. **Puts away the walking stick**
Erik: Where'd you get that? I think I may want one of those.
Christine: Erik, you already have a walking stick that doubles as a club and you have to Punjab lasso, are you ever satisfied?
Erik: Not really, no.
Christine: **Sighs and gives up**
Jessica: **Panicky** what are you going to do first?
Sherlock: I suppose I'll take the tire prints of all of the go-carts and then match them with the prints on the body. Then using the sign out sheet I'll just match the number with a name.
Jessica: **Gulps** Oh.
Raoul: **Bursts in wearing an exact replica of Sherlock's clothing** It's time to solve a mystery! Someone give me my clues right now! I want clues this instant!
Sherlock: Please don't disgrace me by wearing my clothes and leave all the work to me you imbecile.
Raoul: Don't talk to Watson like that. He's supposed to be your friend.
Sherlock: **Slaps the fop across the face** you idiot! I was talking to you! Now before I begin does anyone know anything about the murder of the fop's rat? **No one answers** Fine, I guess I have to go take tire prints.
Jessica: I'll come with you! **Has a plan to switch numbers on cars to make it look like she wasn't in the one that killed the guinea pig and since she was in twelve she would change it to 21. They get out there and she quickly switches the numbers so that no one could see her do it**
Sherlock: This is completely absurd. Who ever thought that someone could get so upset over a dead guinea pig?
Jessica: **Nervously** Yea.
Sherlock: and then who cares if they killed it, but since I asked a no one confessed to it then the person who did do it will be disqualified.
Jessica: **Madly** Rats!
Sherlock: What?
Jessica: **Realizes she said "rats"** Oh nothing.
Sherlock: Although, I can see why someone wouldn't say anything. The fop is probably stronger than he looks and who knows what he could do to someone. Besides, there's a good chance he's rabid.
Jessica: Interesting. **Getting even more nervous**
Sherlock: **Inspecting tires and getting imprints** I must say you are one of the most admirable women I have ever met. Usually I would say that women are liars and too secretive, but you seem to be exactly the opposite.
Jessica: **Increasingly nervous** Thank you for the compliment.
Sherlock: **Gets up off the ground and hugs Jessica close to him** this is the first time I've ever felt like this.
Jessica: **Feeling seriously guilty** I have to tell you something.
Sherlock: What?
Jessica: **Looks down and mumbles** I killed the fop's rat.
Sherlock: **Taken totally aghast and backs away slowly** what? You lied to me?
Jessica: I didn't want to say I did it! It was an accident I swear! Don't be mad.
Sherlock: I just told you all that and said that you were truthful and then you lie? What is wrong with you? You disgust me. **Walks away with all of his papers and such**
Jessica: **Hits herself in the face** Why am I so stupid?
Random Announcer voice: **Like a soap opera thingy** Will Sherlock ever reveal Jessica killed Princess, the boy guinea pig? Will the fop ever become intelligent? Will Erica and Erik ever hook up? Find out one of these answers in the next chapter, which answer will it be, I'm not at liberty to tell, but you'll find out.
The Investigation Begins
(Everyone is watching the TV and some reporter comes on with a special bulletin)
Reporter: I'm here, outside this hotel where the murder of the century has been committed. Mr. Raoul de Chagny's male guinea pig, Princess, was cold- bloodedly murdered yesterday outside this very location. I am here with Mr. Changy who wants to say a few words about the murder.
Raoul: All I want to say is that the murder of a guy's defenseless guinea pig should be punishable by the death penalty! Oh yea and Watson, I want my teletubbie dolls back! **Starts to cry again**
Reporter: Those are the grief stricken words of a sad man. Back to you John.
(Erik shuts off the TV)
Erik: This is pathetic. All that happened was someone accidentally killed a loose rat.
Sherlock: At least they didn't ask you to figure it out.
Erik: True I can be thankful for that.
Sherlock: I may just pin it on Mary-Sue and be done with it, but then my reputation would be tainted.
Jessica: I won't tell if you don't tell.
Watson: **Laughing** But I will!
Sherlock: **Takes out walking stick that if you press a tiny button a dagger comes out** If you're smart you'll keep quiet.
Watson: **Gets scared and trembles** Shutting up.
Sherlock: That's what I thought. **Puts away the walking stick**
Erik: Where'd you get that? I think I may want one of those.
Christine: Erik, you already have a walking stick that doubles as a club and you have to Punjab lasso, are you ever satisfied?
Erik: Not really, no.
Christine: **Sighs and gives up**
Jessica: **Panicky** what are you going to do first?
Sherlock: I suppose I'll take the tire prints of all of the go-carts and then match them with the prints on the body. Then using the sign out sheet I'll just match the number with a name.
Jessica: **Gulps** Oh.
Raoul: **Bursts in wearing an exact replica of Sherlock's clothing** It's time to solve a mystery! Someone give me my clues right now! I want clues this instant!
Sherlock: Please don't disgrace me by wearing my clothes and leave all the work to me you imbecile.
Raoul: Don't talk to Watson like that. He's supposed to be your friend.
Sherlock: **Slaps the fop across the face** you idiot! I was talking to you! Now before I begin does anyone know anything about the murder of the fop's rat? **No one answers** Fine, I guess I have to go take tire prints.
Jessica: I'll come with you! **Has a plan to switch numbers on cars to make it look like she wasn't in the one that killed the guinea pig and since she was in twelve she would change it to 21. They get out there and she quickly switches the numbers so that no one could see her do it**
Sherlock: This is completely absurd. Who ever thought that someone could get so upset over a dead guinea pig?
Jessica: **Nervously** Yea.
Sherlock: and then who cares if they killed it, but since I asked a no one confessed to it then the person who did do it will be disqualified.
Jessica: **Madly** Rats!
Sherlock: What?
Jessica: **Realizes she said "rats"** Oh nothing.
Sherlock: Although, I can see why someone wouldn't say anything. The fop is probably stronger than he looks and who knows what he could do to someone. Besides, there's a good chance he's rabid.
Jessica: Interesting. **Getting even more nervous**
Sherlock: **Inspecting tires and getting imprints** I must say you are one of the most admirable women I have ever met. Usually I would say that women are liars and too secretive, but you seem to be exactly the opposite.
Jessica: **Increasingly nervous** Thank you for the compliment.
Sherlock: **Gets up off the ground and hugs Jessica close to him** this is the first time I've ever felt like this.
Jessica: **Feeling seriously guilty** I have to tell you something.
Sherlock: What?
Jessica: **Looks down and mumbles** I killed the fop's rat.
Sherlock: **Taken totally aghast and backs away slowly** what? You lied to me?
Jessica: I didn't want to say I did it! It was an accident I swear! Don't be mad.
Sherlock: I just told you all that and said that you were truthful and then you lie? What is wrong with you? You disgust me. **Walks away with all of his papers and such**
Jessica: **Hits herself in the face** Why am I so stupid?
Random Announcer voice: **Like a soap opera thingy** Will Sherlock ever reveal Jessica killed Princess, the boy guinea pig? Will the fop ever become intelligent? Will Erica and Erik ever hook up? Find out one of these answers in the next chapter, which answer will it be, I'm not at liberty to tell, but you'll find out.