Chapter 198

Two days later, Rory found herself pretty exhausted. Sure, she wasn't actually taking care of a baby, like Paris, but even keeping Paris company had her up at weird hours and following weird routines. She'd offered to watch the baby for Paris a couple times, and Paris had taken her up on it once or twice, but really just to shower or order delivery or put together a meal, no more than fifteen minutes at a time, half an hour at had been in and out, and it had been pretty awkward every time. He'd found his laptop in the dining room and rushed in to confront Paris about it, waking up Simone in the process. That was one exception- Paris had looked at Rory with a now uncharacteristically anxious expression on her face and asked her to take Simone back to the nursery for a second. A few moments later, Paris came back in, calm and serene. When Rory had looked at her quizzically, she'd sighed. "He moved it, but he'll keep doing it. It's not worth it to argue about."

"Paris, I need to ask you something," Rory had said last night, after Paris had put Simone to sleep again and after Doyle had long been in bed. She and Paris were sitting in the master bedroom. Rory had found out the first day that Doyle had been sleeping in the guest bedroom, "because he had sleep apnea and was worried the baby would disrupt his sleep further. Plus, Paris could handle it." Since Rory was visiting, he was sleeping on the couch. Which seemed silly, because Rory was sleeping so irregularly she often ended up dozing off in Paris' room anyway, in between their conversations and time with Simone.

Her goddaughter, Simone. Rory couldn't believe she had a goddaughter. She'd called Jess only once so far, but texted him several times, and he'd been delighted for her. She was happy too- it was still a little odd for her to spend this much time with a baby, since a baby was sort of a hard person to connect with unless you were its parent. But honestly, at this point, Rory was reaching out and offering to hold Simone without the slightest hesitation, had changed a diaper or two (of her own volunteering), and had read her goddaughter about seven books. There was a lot to love. That said, all of that good hadn't blinded Rory to the clearly troubled situation between Paris and Doyle, and after enough awkward moments, Rory couldn't keep quiet about it any longer.

"Look, I want to respect that you don't want to talk about it now, but…it's not good, Paris. I want to help. Or at least know if there's some way I can help. Or why you won't talk about it. You're the most direct person I know."

"…Because right now isn't about me, Rory," Paris sighed, taking a sip of her sparkling non-alcoholic tea. She looked over at Rory's glass, and gave her a refill of her Cabernet. "Right now is about Simone."

"…yeah, but…and please forgive me, I'm not a mom, and I'm still getting used to the various ways in which your universe has turned on its axis, but isn't it always going to be about Simone now? To some degree?" Paris nodded. "Then how long are you planning on using that excuse to avoid what's happening?"

"I don't know," Paris admitted, "I mean, I feel like since she's only a couple days old I have some time. But your point is well taken. I know I need to deal with it eventually."

"Look, I'm not even talking about the dealing with it part," Rory said, "But you've always talked to me about things. This is new, you know?"

Paris looked down guiltily. "I'm sorry. I hope you know it's nothing about you. It's just…I'm still sorting this out."

"Are you, though? Because honestly, you seem pretty done," Rory prodded. Paris sighed.

"…it's not that simple. Without Doyle I wouldn't have Simone. He's her dad, as disinterested as he may currently be in that role. And he's not a bad guy. Just not…"

"Not good for you?"

"He was, for a long time," Paris said slowly, "I guess I just changed, you know? You've said it, Jess has said it, I've noticed it too. And the more I've changed, the less I feel like we're compatible."

"Yeah, but you've only changed for the better, Paris. It's been like an easing of an omnipresent tension, a coming out of your shell, a blossoming, if you want to be sort of Anais Nin about it," Rory said. Paris smiled, with what looked like pride. It was a new look on her, but it was a good one. "If he's not compatible with this version of you, that's nothing bad about you. It's his loss."

"Yeah, but it could also be hers," Paris pointed out, gesturing to the bassinet, "So I can't just make this decision the way I would have before she came along. It's not quite as simple. Ultimately, I'm going to do what's right for both of us. It's not just me now."

"…do you really think it's better for her to be around when you guys clearly are at odds?"

"We haven't really fought," Paris pointed out. Rory sighed.

"Yeah, but you guys just seem…well, like you're living different lives. Not sharing this one."

Paris nodded. "Well, that's true. And I think that's better than a constant screaming match."

"It's still not a family."

"Rory, I appreciate that you care and that's why you're asking. But I literally gave birth a couple days ago. Maybe I can at least recover from that physical trauma before you give me the third degree?"

"…alright. Sorry," Rory said, a little stubbornly, "I'm going to go check in with Jess."

"Okay," Paris shrugged, "See you." Rory turned and left the room, looking at Paris as she left. Paris didn't rise to the bait in the slightest, and was instead transfixed with Simone, who was sleeping peacefully next to her. Rory sighed and went to the guest room. She pulled out her phone and called Jess.

"…hello?"

"Did I wake you?"

"…a little. How's it going there?"

"It's going okay. I'm taking a break."

"From the baby or…"

"Paris."

"Oh. Is she stressed out?"

"No, actually, she's really calm."

"Then why are you taking a break from her?"

"She refuses to talk about what's happening with her and Doyle. She's completely avoiding it, and she has to address it, Jess. It's no better if they're both living together unhappily."

"Oh-kay," Jess said, yawning. He sat upright in his bed, "What's happening? Are they fighting?"

"A little. But more than that they just seem to be living in parallel universes."

"In the same apartment?"

"Co-op."

"Really?"

"Fine, point taken. But yes."

"…so why's she acting like things are fine?"

"I mean, I wouldn't even say she's doing that. But she's not confronting anything."

"Did you ask her why?"

"She said she just wants things to be peaceful so she can focus on Simone, and that she has to be more deliberate in how she approaches this since it affects Simone too, not just her."

"That all sounds pretty reasonable. Where'd she lose you?" Jess asked, curiously. He got out of bed, walking to the kitchen and turning on a pot of coffee. It was a bad habit that he'd picked up since he and Rory had gotten together but somehow it was always worse when she was gone.

"She lost me when she decided to stop being my extremely direct best friend and become an avoidant person, who know the right thing to do and just lacks the courage to do it."

"Rory, do you really think that's it? Because she's pretty much told you that's not it at all."

"But she's wrong! And she's great, and so is Simone, and they deserve whatever is gonna make them the happiest. Even if it's not the easiest thing."

"I agree. And I'm sure Paris does too," Jess reassured Rory soothingly, "But…Paris still has a valid point about the timing, and all the considerations. It's not a bad thing for her to be thoughtful about how she approaches it. Yeah, it might be a little less than ideal right now. But does she seem happy, generally speaking?"

"Happiest I've ever seen her," Rory grudgingly admitted, "She's glowing. It's like when she was pregnant, but amplified. I've never seen her like she is when she's looking at Simone, or holding Simone, or talking about Simone."

"…well then, it doesn't seem like holding off is doing that much harm. What matters most to Paris right now is bonding with her baby, and that's what she's getting to do, and it's making her really happy. I think you have a point in the long run. But it seems like Paris agrees. So maybe just let her have a little time enjoying her new life as a mom before you worry too much?"

Rory nodded, smiling. "I guess that's fair."

"Good. Now go tell Paris I say hi, okay?"

"Okay. See you soon."

"See you soon."