Chapter 200

The next evening, Rory walked into the apartment, exhausted and burnt out. Jess was sitting on the couch, watching tv. Rory barely looked at him as she walked in and headed to the bedroom to drop her bags.

Jess frowned. They weren't clingy or anything, but that wasn't like her. He walked into the bedroom.

"Hey," he smiled. Rory didn't turn.

"Hey."

"…welcome home."

"Thanks," Rory said stiffly. Jess frowned.

"Is everything okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Alright. How's Paris?"

"Fine."

"And Simone?"

"Also fine. Paris asked me to be her godmother."

"That's great."

"It's a big committment."

"…true."

"But I've known Paris for a really long time."

"…also true…"

"And you know, we have good boundaries. She understands what I give and what I can't. So I said yes. After I gave it some thought. A lot of thought."

Jess looked at Rory, confused. "Are we still talking about Paris? Because even for you, this is a pretty weird conversation."

"She was really open with me. It was nice," Rory continued, taking her clothes out of her bag and throwing them in the hamper, "She was respectful of me and however I might feel, but told me what she wanted. She came right to me."

"…who else would she come to? You're her best friend," Jess said, confused.

"Right. Who else would she come to? I mean, it was about me and her."

"And Simone."

"Simone can't talk, she's three days old."

"…again, are we still talking about Paris here?"

"Technically, we're talking about Simone now."

"Rory."

"…Mom told me what happened at Friday Night Dinner last time."

"What are you talking about?" Jess asked, trying to remember. The last few weeks had been a chaotic blur. After a moment, realization dawned on him. "Oh, she told you about that?"

"She assumed I knew," Rory said coolly. Jess furrowed his brow.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem pretty upset when I'm pretty sure what happened is that I told your grandfather and mother that I love you and want to be with you."

"…for as long as I'd have you."

"…truly terrible of me, I can't imagine how you're even entertaining my presence. Cruel, really."

"This isn't funny, Jess. We haven't talked about this ourselves yet."

"Rory, it's come up. Maybe we haven't had a serious, all-out discussion, but it's not like that's what happened with them either. And he asked. I just told him the truth."

"Your truth. You and I haven't talked about it, you don't know how I feel."

"…again, I'm pretty sure we have, even with less words. Why, has how you feel changed?"

"…that's not the point"

"It's information I'd like to have."

"Well knowing this conversation happened was information I would have liked to have before finding it out out of the blue, from my mother."

"How did it even come up?"

"That's not the point."

"Do you have a point? Or are you just mad? Theoretically, because I love you and want to be with you and was insensitive enough to share that with your family, who cares about you?"

"Are you being willfully obstinate, or just oblivious? I'm pretty sure it's the first, but I want to give you the benefit of the doubt."

"…wow, if this is how nice you're being to me, I can't imagine you and Lorelai are braiding each others' hair any time soon."

"My relationship with my mother is my business."

"Why are you so upset? Look, I didn't think that much of it, honestly. If it had seemed important, I would have told you. But I assumed it was sort of a given."

"We've only been dating for a couple months! Why would you think it's a given?"

"Oh, I don't know, because we're deliriously happy? And you live here? And our friends are now both of our friends, and all get along and know each other, and we basically share a big fucking crowd of people that we care about and spend all of our time with? Correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't have much experience with it, but I'm pretty sure that's building a family."

"…I should've stayed with Paris longer."

"You can go back, don't let me stop you."

"I have work."

"This is work."

"…you're mad."

"Of course I'm mad," Jess said plainly, "Rory, I didn't think this was a big deal, and honestly, I couldn't have imagined you being anything but happy about it. After all this wasted time, I'm not interested in giving this up anytime soon, and I'm not going to act casual or cavalier about it. At no point did you give me the idea that was what you wanted."

"I'm not saying it is! I just…it's a lot, Jess."

"It's a lot of good. I fail to see the issue."

"Well, of course you do. You're not me."

"Has it occurred to you if only you can see it, it might not be logical?"

"I'm entitled to my feelings, and to have different opinions than you."

"Sure, but you aren't even articulating this one. You still haven't actually told me what's going on with you."

"Look, I'm tired. It's a late night. I shouldn't have said anything."

"…I'm gonna give you some space for a bit."

"…thanks."

Jess nodded, walking out of the room. He grabbed his phone and his wallet and headed downstairs. After only a moment or two of hesitation, he walked out the door, phone in hand, the other end ringing.

"Jess?"

"Lorelai."

"…I take it Rory's home."

"And downright chipper."

"…I'm so sorry. I thought she knew. I wasn't trying…"

"I'm not upset you told her. I didn't think it was a big deal. I just don't know why she's reacting like this."

"Reacting like what, exactly?"

"…I'm pretty sure you got some of it yourself."

"She's different with me. I got something. But I guess I meant more what's confusing you."

"…she seems upset that I said things are going well and I want them to continue. Those seem like good things. She was upset that I was essentially taking those as a given. It just doesn't make sense. We're both happy, things have been good…I think."

"They have. You guys are nauseatingly in love."

"Then why would this be a bad thing?"

"…I don't think it is, really. It's just big. And Rory, for all of her wonderful qualities, has a tendency to run away from things."

"But this is a good thing."

"It's still big, and scary, especially to Rory."

"…what else did you say to her?"

"…I told her I thought you guys were right for each other."

"…again, terrible. No idea why she didn't toss us both off a bridge."

"Because she'd never try to steal Luke's thunder?"

"Touche."

"So do you think she's just…overwhelmed?"

"I think it's probably a lot hitting her at once. I mean, she just spent the weekend with Paris, who just had a baby, and whose marriage is…"

"Not good," Jess said delicately.

"To put it lightly," Lorelai agreed, "Rory was annoyed at Paris for being in denial about that, ironically enough. But you know, it's a. lot to bear witness to. And with everything going on with Lane and Zach and her having a front row seat to that…"

"Wouldn't that make her even more happy that her own thing is more stable and good?"

"…logically, yes. But I think emotionally, she's seeing a lot of scary things happening around her in marriages. And if she's thinking about those things with you, which I have to imagine she is, it's just probably getting her anxious and in her head. Which is when she gets that itch to run. Emotionally, I mean. I don't think she's actually going to run."

"Are you sure?"

"Not at all."

"Well that's reassuring."

"…it's you. She's always been different with you. It's why I think you guys are right for each other. I think's it's just hitting her hard that this is really happening, and that this is real and big and has serious implications, and that she has to realize it's going to change her life, and there's risk and sacrifice with these things. But since it's you…I don't really doubt she'll come out on the right side of things. She still has that instinct, sure. But she loves you. Deeply. Even if she's freaking out right now."

"…thanks. Are you okay?" Jess asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, when I talked to her it didn't sound likey you guys ended your last conversation on a pleasant note."

"I hung up on her. And I'm still annoyed," Lorelai admitted, "She can get petty when she's defensive. But I'm her mom, I can take it, and I'm sure we'll sort it out and be fine in a couple days. Thanks for asking, though."

"Of course."

"And you? Has this shaken you up too?"

"…I know how I feel. I can't control how she does. We'll just have to see what happens."

"I think it'll all go the right way."

"I hope so too. Goodnight, Lorelai."

"Goodnight, Jess."