Solitude is dangerous. It's addictive. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people.
-Unknown
Hinata was laying on her bed, watching the sky colour into hues of orange and red, as the sun sunk below the horizon.
A few birds chirped, before flying past her window and towards their nest. Watching them, Hinata sighed, before rolling over to her side.
Her eyes landed on the dress hanging on the handle of her closet. She sighed again.
What should I do?
She received no answer, other than the whispers of her own thoughts. She glanced outside the window again, watching the colours become darker as the minutes passed.
Red...Like blood...like a rose...like his ey-
She immediately sat up, so quickly that white dots appeared in her vision as her head spun. After composing herself, she resolutely shook her head.
She didn't want to think about him.
Her resolve to not think about him, only made her think about him more. His face entered her mind, and she felt her cheeks tingle.
She placed her palms against them, eyes closed as she shook her head again, her hair flying with the motion.
"Stop that, you idiot." She snapped at herself, though her tone was soft but sad.
She groaned before flopping back on the bed.
Just go away...
Hinata removed her hands from her face, when she heard a knock on her door. Muttering a tired 'come in', Hinata closed her eyes, not looking at Kurenai as she entered.
She could sense Kurenai's surprise when she took her in.
"Why aren't you dressed, yet? We're supposed to leave in about an hour."
Right. The cause of her current predicament.
A festival was going to be held, as it was every year, to celebrate the anniversary of the foundation of Konoha. There were going to be all types of food, and gifts and stalls and fireworks.
(A/N: Just made up that festival, btw. I'm not sure if it actually exists, but either way..XD)
It was a public affair, and everyone was invited.
Usually, it would have been a good idea to go as it would have kept her mind off of everything. Except, it was a happy affair...and Hinata didn't exactly feel like going considering her own sad life.
Hinata slowly sat up, eyes downcast as she fidgeted.
"I..um- don't..I mean to say-erm..."
She looked up when Kurenai stepped forward, clasping her hands around Hinata's, as she sat down next to her.
"Is everything okay, Hinata?"
Seeing her concern and the motherly expression on her face, Hinata's face crumbled.
"Oh, Kure.." Her voice cracked, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I-"
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.
"I really really don't want to go. But, everyone is going to be there together after a long time. And, I don't want to ruin it and disappoint everyone by being the only one not there-"
She was cut off when Kurenai pulled her into a hug.
Oh Hinata...
Hinata's voice was muffled, as she snuggled into the embrace.
"I know I haven't been spending as much time with you all, and I know you all are worried."
She hesitated, before taking a shuddering breath.
"I-I won't say that I'm fine, because I'm not. But, I just need a little time and-"
Hinata hadn't even realized that she'd started tearing up by the end of her sentence, as they mostly did when she talked about her emotions.
God, I'm such a crybaby.
Kurenai hummed softly, rubbing a soothing hand over her back, before sighing.
"I'm glad" She began, her time quiet "that you trust me enough with your thoughts."
She pulled away to meet Hinata's eyes.
"I admit that, yes, I have been quite worried about you recently. But, if having some time to yourself would make you feel better, then that's completely fine with me."
Kurenai pushed a few strands of hair away from Hinata's face.
"It takes courage to admit that you're not okay. If you can do that, then I'm sure you are strong enough to survive whatever problem you're in."
Hinata swallowed, before nodding once.
"However," Kurenai continued, "that does not mean that you have to go through that problem alone. If you ever, ever want to talk, then I will be right here. Always."
Hinata felt her eyes fill up again, and she quickly wiped them away.
You have no idea how much I want to. But... you'd hate me then.
For a moment, Hinata entertained the thought.
There's someone very precious to me, Kure. She'd say, Someone I care about with all of my heart. But, if I went with him, I would have to give up all of you.
It didn't sound any better in her head.
At last, Hinata exhaled, before nodding towards Kurenai.
"Of course. I understand."
Kurenai regarded her silently for another moment, before standing up.
"You can stay back if you want. I'll tell the others that you weren't feeling well."
Hinata nodded mutely.
"In the meanwhile..." Hinata looked up when Kurenai trailed off.
Then, the older woman smiled sheepishly.
"Mind helping me get ready?"
Hinata let out a giggle, a small smile taking over her face.
"Of course."
With that, both made way to Kurenai's room, which was cluttered with clothes and jewellery.
Hinata sweatdropped as Kurenai clapped her hands.
"Well! Let's get started!"
Almost an hour later, Hinata was standing by the door, helping Kurenai put on a jacket.
When she was done, Kurenai faced her, before pulling her into a warm embrace.
"Stay safe." Hinata whispered to her.
"You too." Kurenai muttered back.
As she opened the door, Hinata felt momentarily blinded by the bright lanterns that lit the streets.
The whole village was decorated, the happiness of the people apparent as they sang, and danced and laughed.
Hinata, too, smiled softly. She did enjoy their happiness. She just...didn't want to be a part of it. At least, not now.
As Kurenai closed the door behind her, Hinata sighed, before going into the living room.
Doing the small chores that were left unfinished, Hinata hummed a soft tune, swaying slightly to the slow rhythm.
She could hear the muffled delightful screams and smell the aroma of all the delicious foods that had been cooked and were being sold.
After she was done, she washed her hand, wiping them against a towel. Then, quietly, she made way to her room.
The moon was full tonight, it's pale light entering her room and giving it a silver hue.
Hinata entered, closing the door behind her.
There was a cough.
Hinata was immediately on her guard, going into a defensive position.
She froze, making out a figure sprawled on her bed.
It had red eyes.
"Ah, you're finally back."
For a whole moment, she stared.
Then, she opened her mouth and..
...
...
...screamed.
Itachi's eyes widened, but he was quick to react. Running through hand signs at lightening fast speed, he slammed a hand on the wall next to the bed.
A sound barrier set up, just as the scream left Hinata, reverberating across the room, but unheard by anyone outside.
Itachi winced at the shrill sound, and he could have sworn that he felt his ears bleed. One would have thought she was being murdered or something.
And she says I'm loud.
When she was done, Itachi lowered his hand from his ear, a scowl on his face.
"For god's sake, are you trying to deafen me or something?"
Hinata said nothing, though her mouth opened and closed like a fish.
"You..." She finally sputtered out, "You...You're here!"
Itachi rolled his eyes, flopping back on the soft bed.
"Observant today, aren't we?" He said, before burying his face in her pillow and sighing.
Hinata felt her head spin, heart pounding from the heart attack he almost gave her. She closed her eyes momentarily, trying to calm herself down before she spoke.
She took a deep breath, her tone shaky.
"You...What are you doing here?"
He said something, but his words were muffled by the pillow, so she didn't quite catch them.
She walked a little closer, watching as he shifted his face to the side to breathe.
"Your bed...smells nice..." He muttered, voice clouded as if he was in a daze.
"...Thanks...I guess?" Hinata let her eyebrows furrow in concern, as she walked closer.
Is he okay?
The moonlight streamed into the room, and on him, making his form easier to see.
As always, he looked tired beyond belief.
She bit her lip, guilt chewing at her for bugging him the moment he entered.
Maybe I should let him rest for a bit.
She watched him breath evenly, eyes closed, the frown on his face relaxing into a peaceful expression.
Making up her mind, Hinata was about to make her way to the door, when a few strands of hair fell in front of his face.
Hinata quickly looked away, resolutely making her way towards the door.
Come on, Hinata. You can ignore it. Just quietly make your way towards the door. Ignore it. Ignore-
Hinata groaned internally, as she marched way towards the bed, glaring down at Itachi's hair. She crouched, kneeling next to the bed, her hand extending towards his face.
Her knuckles brushed against his forehead and he sighed.
"You really need to stop touching me while I'm sleeping."
His eyes snapped open, and Hinata immediately moved away.
"It's getting creepy." His lips twitched at the look on her face.
Hinata's face burned, eyes narrowing.
"I'm not creepy. You're creepy."
He raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not the one touching people without permission."
Hinata's mouth opened, but, once again, nothing came out.
God, he makes me sound like a...like a, well, creep.
She mentally facepalmed before stubbornly looking at him.
"Well, I'm not the one who snuck into an innocent girl's bedroom at night, so..."
Hinata shrugged, barely able to hide her grin at her retort.
Itachi laughed softly, and Hinata felt her heart flutter.
She loved his laugh. When he laughed, he did so with such carefree air, that it made Hinata's breath catch.
It was such a change from his usual expression. And it made her happy that, as tired as he always looked, there were still moments in his life when he could laugh without a care in the world.
And she was glad that she was a part of those moments.
She was broken out of her thoughts when Itachi sighed again, his eyes closed.
Then, suddenly, they opened, lighting up before fixing upon her.
He grinned as he moved to one side of the bed. Hinata's eyes widened, when he patted the empty side of the bed.
"Let's cuddle." He proclaimed out of nowhere.
Hinata's cheeks flamed.
"Huh? Wha-What?!"
Where did that even come from?!
Itachi simply rolled his eyes at her embarrassment, impressed that she still had it in her to be embarrassed after everything that had happened.
"I said let's cuddle." He repeated more slowly as he sat up on his elbow. He extended a hand towards her.
Hinata stepped away from it, staring at his hand as if it would gobble her up any second.
She looked back at her one-person bed, realizing that if she agreed, than she would be practically pressed up to him.
Wait...why am I even considering the possibility?!
Much to her own mortification, she realized that the offer didn't sound... half as bad.
In fact, the more she thought about it, the more irresistible it became.
She gulped, before returning her stare back to his hand.
Must resist. Must resist. Must resist-!
However, before she could make up her mind completely, his hand grasped her and yanked.
Hinata gasped in surprise, as she was pulled forward towards familiar warmth. she felt her toes curl at it, considering it was a cool night.
As she fell into his chest, her face burned. Immediately trying to move away, Hinata accidentally went too far of the bed.
However, before she could fall, an arm came around her waist, her back pressed up against Itachi's chest.
Hinata shuddered, tensing up at how close they were.
The warm breath fanning over the nape of her neck made her tense all the more.
"Relax." Itachi murmured. His tone was teasing and she could almost imagine him smirking.
"Unlike you..." He paused for suspense. Hinata fisted her hands in her shirt, feeling the whole god damn zoo go on a rampage in her stomach.
"I don't bite."
Hinata blinked for a second. Then, an embarrassing sound, something between a gasp and a squeak, escaped her throat.
Oh god, how embarrassing..
She immediately covered her face with her hands, wishing the floor (or bed?) would just swallow her up.
"I-um, I j-just-erm, sorry ab-about...you-you know.." Her voice was muffled, as she rushed her words out, barely coherent.
Itachi hummed pressing his face closer to her ear.
"Why apologize?" She imagined his smirk widen, "I won't say it was a...bad experience."
Her thoughts shifted between 'Believe me, I could tell' and 'Just kill me now'.
She mumbled something incomprehensible, beyond embarrassed. She was surprised she hadn't combusted yet.
"However, if you truly are sorry, I suppose I should return the favour. To make sure we're even." His tone was low, sending shivers down her spine.
Hinata paused in her thoughts, slowly registering what he was offering. He was going to return the favour?
As in, do the same to me?
For the millionth time, her face burned.
Her thoughts shifted more towards the 'Just kill me now'.
However, like every other offer he had 'suggested' to her, this one sounded... quite appealing too.
No.
"Yes."
She felt Itachi still.
It was at this moment she realized that she had said 'Yes' out loud.
It was also at this moment she realized that he had just being saying all that in jest.
She mentally facepalmed again, then proceeded to mentally slap herself many, many times.
Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
Her breath hitched when he moved even closer.
"Relax," He repeated, much softly this time, "I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to."
He moved away a little, giving her room to breathe.
Bless him, Hinata thought, exhaling slowly, He really is the perfect man.
She sighed.
"No, it's just..." She paused, before fisting her hands in her shirt again.
She would be lying if she said she didn't want him to touch her. But, she was so afraid they would loose control, and it won't end well for either of them.
Or rather, it would end well, and that wouldn't be good for her.
Just a little...won't hurt, would it?
All the possibilities, scenarios and thoughts came to her, and her head began to pound.
So, instead of thinking, she let her heart do the talking.
She inhaled shakily, the noise echoing in the quiet room.
"Don't leave a mark."
For a whole second, there was silence. Then, his hand were fumbling with the two buttons at the back of her shirt.
She shivered feeling her skin be exposed to the cool air. It didn't stay like that for long, as she felt his thumbs rub against her shoulder blades.
With trembling hands, she moved her hair away from the nape of her neck pulling it in front of her, feeling his breath hitch.
Slowly, almost torturously, his lips moved closer, as Hinata held her breath.
His arm tightened around her arm, as he closed the distance between them once again. His lips landed on the junction where her neck ran into her shoulder.
Hinata hissed, squirming slightly, one hand keeping her hair away from her neck, the other clenched at her chest.
He pulled away, but only slightly. Then, his lips were on her skin again, trailing up towards her pulse.
Hinata sighed sharply, a soft whimper escaping her.
She heard Itachi swear under his breath.
He pressed another kiss to her jugular, feeling it thrum violently beneath her skin.
Alive. Alive. Alive.
Hinata's hand moved from her chest to her mouth, to stop the moan that was threatening to come out.
She was panting slightly, breath catching when he began to make way down her neck again. Her back arched slightly, his lips trailing down her spine, to the very edge of the second button of her shirt.
Her moan was muffled by her hand.
She heard a growl, and her hand that had been covering her mouth was pinned to the pillow. The angle exposed her back even more, pale skin glowing in the even paler moonlight.
His teeth grazed at her skin, when he pulled away the fabric with his mouth, to uncover her shoulder. Doing the same with the strap of her bra, he moved it out of the way, before going back to laying feathery kisses against her skin.
"I-Ita-Ita-Ah...mm..Ah!"
Hinata moaned again, and despite her earlier words, she did nothing when she felt teeth graze at her skin again, his tongue darting out to sooth the now red skin.
Her back arched, and she tried to move away and stop all the tremors that were rocking her body. But, Itachi's arm was right around her as he slammed her back against him, keeping her in place as he continued marking her shoulder.
Itachi watched as she pressed her legs together, her toes curling, eyes snapped shut. A red blush stained her cheeks, and he was amused to find that it extended all the way to her ears and neck.
Beautiful.
She was just breathtaking. No matter how much he looked at her, he always found her desirable.
Letting go of her hand, Itachi wrapped an arm around her shoulders and neck from behind, before placing a gentle kiss on the mark he had given her, before covering it back up.
Then, he buried his face in her hair, and inhaled deeply, trying to calm down.
He could sense Hinata's surprise at the sudden change. She turned slightly, trying to look at him.
"Itachi?" She called out in that breathy voice, an edge of wonder and disappointment to her tone.
He groaned against her scalp, pulling her closer.
"Say it again."
He felt her hands clutch at his arm--the one around her neck--her fingers digging into his skin.
"Itachi."
He hummed, before sighing.
"Again."
"Itachi." She breathed out. "Itachi. Itachi. Itachi. Itachi. Ita-"
She was cut off by a laugh.
"I think that's enough."
Hinata felt her face burn, but she smiled nonetheless.
Itachi watched the moonlight wash over her skin, making her eyes shine. His eyes fell on her smile and he felt a tug in his chest.
I could stay like this forever.
But, he knew that was just another dream. Something that would never happen. It reminded him of the reason he had come here to begin with.
To say goodbye.
He sighed shakily at the thought, feeling his heart sink a little further into his stomach.
"I-I-" He broke the comfortable silence between them.
He felt the woman in his arms shift slightly, an indication that she was waiting for him to continue.
"I care about you." He swallowed, feeling his face warm.
What were those words so hard to say out loud? He'd had known for quite some time that she was very precious to him. He'd known that she knew that too.
Then, why was it hard to say those words to her face?
Itachi vowed that no matter how damn long it took, he was not leaving without thanking her for all that she'd done for him.
It occured to him that this would be the first time they would actually be talking about their feelings. It was no longer going to be something unspoken between them, no longer something they could pretend to ignore.
There would be no more stolen glances, no more longing sighs, no more secret caresses, no more gentle touches.
Suddenly, everything was so much more real, more serious.
"I care about you." Itachi repeated, "A lot."
He felt Hinata's breath catch.
"More than I would like to admit. I care about you so much, that there are days I can't stop thinking about you. Never would I have thought that I would, one day, feel this deeply for someone."
He took a breath.
"You knew who I was, what the world saw me as when we first met. But, as time passed, you chose to see past that, and that made me so happy."
His arms tightened around her, and Hinata could have sworn that she heard his voice crack.
You have no idea how miserable I had been before you came.
"You are beautiful beyond belief, both inside and outside. So much so, that sometimes when I look at you, I can't breathe."
When I was alone, you gave me company.
"I want to thank you, for making my life bearable, reminding me what it felt like to smile again."
When I had forgotten my purpose, you reminded me of my goal.
"Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for you compassion. Thank you for your worry and tears."
When I had forgotten to smile, you made me laugh.
"Thank you for everything."
There was silence, only the heavy breathing of the woman beside him breaking it.
Itachi wasn't surprised to discover how warm his face was. This was the first time he had confessed to such deep emotions out loud.
He could hear nothing over the pounding of his own heart, growing more and more erratic with another second of silence.
He began to wonder if he had made a mistake.
"Hin-"
"Stop it." She whispered, so low that he could have imagined it.
He felt his heart clench, radiating pain.
"I'm so-"
A second later, Hinata shot up from the bed, quickly moving out of the safety of his arms.
She couldn't breathe. Her chest hurt, her head hurt, her stomach hurt, her throat hurt. Everything just hurt so bad.
"Just stop." She whispered again, pulling up her knees to her chest, and burying her face in her hands.
Why did he continue saying things like that? Things that just made her want him more? Didn't he understand that everything was hard--no, painful--enough already?
"Just... god, why are you even telling me this?"
She turned towards him slowly, looking just as tired as he felt.
"What are you even doing here, Itachi?"
Itachi sat up to, fixing his gaze outside the window.
There were lanterns lit and some song was playing. People were singing, and dancing and laughing, and not for the first time, Itachi envied their happiness.
"I came to say goodbye." He said quietly.
Her head whipped towards him. However, before she could get a word out, he continued.
"I've stayed here long enough. I need to get back to the base."
As he spoke, he didn't notice her move closer to her. Not until, her hands were resting on his chest.
He looked down at her, as she leaned forward. Then, he noticed the tears in her eyes.
Hinata didn't want him to leave. She wanted to be with him. She wanted him to stay.
Why couldn't he stay again?
That's right. He was the enemy.
Enemy. Enemy. Enemy.
But, what made him her enemy? Why was he her enemy? Why did he have to be her enemy?
Hinata's mind ran, going to the very root of the problem, the very reason their could not be with each other.
Her fingers dug into his shirt, her voice thick with tears when she spoke.
"Why?" She asked, as a single drop made way down her cheek.
"All those people years ago. Why did you kill them?"
Because that was what kept them apart.
For a second, he simply stared.
"Why did you kill them?"
Why? Why? WhyWhyWhyWhy-
Something cracked.
I didn't want to. I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have had to.
Then, his hands were grabbing her face, fisting into her hair, with such desperateness that she could only watch as he pulled her so close that they could almost kiss.
His mouth opened, but only a strangled gasp escaped him.
He could never explain it to her. Never explain what he went through--had to go through--for the sake of this village.
Where would I even begin?
He couldn't explain it to her. But...he could show her.
Without even properly thinking about it, Itachi's eyes went red.
HAPPY MONDAY, EVERYONE!!
So, did you like it? What do you think will happen? And, how will both characters react to the turn things are taking?
Be sure to tell me what you think!!
Until next Monday, ENJOY!!
-Your sad author.(cuz I'm watching Violet Evergarden :') )