Fate: Ra! Take two.

Disclaimer: Not ours, toss off, you know the drill.

[1] In Which There Is Bad Planning

"Ryou! Oi! Ryou!"

Ryou Bakura performed the move best known as the deer-in-the-headlights-leap-of-terror and stared at the caller. "'Lo, Jounouchiiishitfuckow," he gasped as he landed on his bad ankle. "Sorry, sorry," he apologized, hopping on one foot and looking around wildly for some kind of support.

Jou looked exasperated. "Ryou, Ryou, Ryou...you can not just come wandering — excuse me, staggering — down this street with blood all over your face and a bad ankle and pretend all is well by pawning me off with a 'Lo, Jounouchi'. Nice try." He slung one arm around the silver-haired boy and none too roughly pushed the hair aside from where the blood was welling on his head. "Jesus fuck. I'd ask you to excuse my language, but you used worse, so we'll move on to the more pressing matter of what the hell happened?"

"I tripped over the table leg, twisted my ankle, and hit my head on the table. Then I ran before my yami could find out," Ryou said softly.

"Uh huh. I don't suppose he pushed you."

"No, he didn't." Ryou sighed, then shot Jounouchi a rather patient look, given the circumstances. "I'm really all right. We're just out of Band-Aids."

"Band-Aids on this thing?" Jounouchi asked, still pulling hair from the cut as Ryou winced. "This is stitches material, you tit."

"A really big Band-Aid."

"Fine," Jounouchi acquiesced, throwing his free hand into the air. "Band-Aids it is. But you're going to let me take care of it."

"Er...Jounouchi, not to sound impolite, but..."

"How do I know how to do all things medical?" Jounouchi finished. "Let's see. Maybe it has something to do with having been a part of a gang until recent times? Oh, and then the whole thing with people being killed, and souls getting sucked out, and all that."

"I'm sorry," Ryou apologized earnestly. "Really."

"Don't be sorry, just sit down before you fall over onto the pavement and die. Again. Again again. You know, threat of death really doesn't work on you," Jounouchi mused, pushing the other boy down onto a park bench. "Hey, listen. Your private life is your private life, but may I recommend ducking once in a while?"

"I can't duck a table, Jounouchi," Ryou replied gently. "Especially when I'm the one falling onto it. Ow," he added when Jounouchi tugged at the bloodstained hair fitfully once more.

"Yeah, well, if someone throws one at you, then you duck." With these parting words, Jounouchi sailed away.

Five minutes and fourteen seconds later, Jounouchi reappeared, woke Ryou up, and dumped a bundle of wrapped and sterilized items on the park bench. "You sit here and eat this," he ordered. "I shouldn't have let you sleep, but it can't be helped now. Eat it!" he added, poking the protein bar. "You need your iron, seeing as you lost a hell of a lot of it. Sheeeeee-it," he added, dunking a piece of gauze in alcohol and going at the mostly clotted wound on Ryou's temple. "You're damn lucky to have survived this."

"Yeah, well," Ryou said modestly, not mentioning the several times when he'd returned from death or other such nasty fates. It was beginning to look like one of those times again. "Ow!"

"It's going to sting," Jounouchi warned five seconds too late. "But I have to get it cleaned out or it'll get infected, and that will not be pleasant. Hey, listen," he added. "Ever considered retaliation?"

"No, not really," Ryou lied. "He'd get mad." And is it a bad thing that I find him unbearably irresistible when he's furious?

Good thing Jounouchi wasn't a good mind-reader.

"I'm not saying hurt him. Hey, remember, I've seen this guy's psychotic side. I'm not putting you in the path of that."

"Thanks. I think?" I think not, but thank you for trying, Jounouchi...

"No, see, I'm thinking more along the lines of a shock rather than a physical attack," Jounouchi said earnestly.

"A shock," Ryou repeated disbelievingly.

"Yes. Run screaming through the house painted colors of your favorite baseball team. Invite home three random people and snog them all at once. Watch a gory movie marathon. Pretend you're the Sugarplum Fairy and take up ballet. Talk him into a wild shagfest on the roof," Jou suggested.

Ryou wibbled. "Say what?"

"Hey, hey, I'm blonde, not blind," Jounouchi said crossly.

"Sorry. But how the hell did you – ?"

"Made an educated guess. Watched to see what happened," Jounouchi explained. "And...there," he added, finishing up with more strips of gauze. "Let me see that ankle."

[-]

"I don't suppose you'd like to tell me where you went?"

Ryou glanced at his yami with my peripheral vision, arranged over the couch as he was. Sprawling on his back, with his feet up on the armrest, almost smiling but missing by a few notches and thus landing somewhere in the realm of a smirk. Contempt, irritation, and drawn-out, malicious loathing all took turns mooching through red eyes.

There is nothing more disturbing than being turned on and terrified at the same time, Ryou decided. In the entire universe. This wins. Hands down. Beats the game piece, beats the card, beats the coma, beats the letters to Amane, beats having a completely deranged man living in my mind, beats being in lust with said man, beats – oh bloody hell, did he say something?

"Meep?" Ryou volunteered.

"Are you planning to answer me any time this millennium? Just because I'm old doesn't mean I'm patient," Bakura spat. "Where the fuck were you, why do you reek of blood, and what the fuck have you been doing?"

Ryou thought for a moment. He could tell the truth and send his yami off into transports of fury, after which he would start stomping around the house, looking sulky, and jumping at every small noise that might be the Evil Bitchy Pompous Idiot-Thing From Hell (more commonly known as Yami no Yuugi) coming in to perform some speech in which he might wax wroth with righteous rancor. Or he could stand there, look rather clueless, and wind up with a – er. Rather pointy switchblade in his face. You know, like what was going on right now.

"I may be a deranged amoral pest and you may hate me with all your soft mortal heart, but I think I'm owed an answer," Bakura snarled. "You got hurt. Answer me!"

Ryou made a snap decision that, if he had paused to think about it, he would have blamed on the head injury.

Poor, misguided little boy.

Leaving mind and logic back on the floor in a confused heap, Ryou swung around, slammed his unsuspecting yami into the wall, and kissed him. Hard.

Ryou vaguely heard the knife drop to the floor. Barely realized that Bakura had started shaking violently enough that, if he hadn't been supported by the wall, he would have collapsed. But beyond that, everything was a total blank.

...wanted to know how he tasted how his skin felt and hair and take it all take everything from me take everything of mine just for a second and –

Fluffy: See? Now it makes more sense. beams

Sarina Fannel: Thanks for being the first reviewer!

Kaori or Yami Kura: Thankoos for reviewing!

Meaghan: We're having trouble getting our angst on.

--: Calm? Who's calm? I had Mountain Dew today!

Melissa: Erm...oops, slipped my mind? Yay, you dropped by!