Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own any of the characters, enjoy!

The next two days passed agonizingly slow. Emily moved back into the Quartermaine mansion refusing to see any of her friends and never shedding a tear, some part of her thought if she didn't cry then it wouldn't be real. Alexis visited her and they sat together, comforting each other. Emily had argued with Ned and her Grandfather, berating them for their treatment to Zander, lashing out. She held a grudge against anyone who had ever been mean to him. She knew she shouldn't blame all the people who disliked him but that didn't stop her from doing it.
Three days after the explosion they had the funeral service of which Monica had paid for, there were wild flowers everywhere and candles lit the room setting off a soft glow everything looked so beautiful except the sad, tired, brown-eyed girl in the front. Emily sat there in a plain black dress and tried not to break down as the priest started with the ceremony. She didn't hear anything he was really saying because her mind was only on how much she missed Zander. In the last three days she had slept maybe five times but for no more than an hour because each hour of sleep ended in her waking up and screaming into her pillow. She only ate when she was forced to because somehow the sight of food nauseated her. If he was only there to take care of her. She was brought back to reality when it was time for her to go up and speak some words.
Emily walked up to the pedestal and looked around the room, she saw her friends, Lucky, Elizabeth, Nikolas, with Gia. She saw Ned sitting with Alexis. Her family was towards the back. She saw Bobbie and Roy, Sonny and Carly. She saw Hannah and AJ sitting together. She looked over at Taggart and Mac and thought about how ironic it was that only a few short months ago they had wanted Zander in jail, even the death penalty for the murder he didn't commit. There were only a couple people other than herself who even liked Zander, Lila, Sonny, Roy and Alexis. Emily took a deep breath.
"I want to thank all of you for coming although… I don't understand why half are you are here," she tried to keep the malice from her voice, her gaze lingering at her friends and then Mac and Taggart. "Zander was a such a good person. I know I've been saying that over and over and over since I came back after he kidnapped me but only a few of you understand that I was right. Some of you have called him a deviant," she said looking at her Grandfather, "a criminal," her gaze lingered on Taggart. "And a kidnapper. He may have been those things once but he changed. Everyone in this room has done something bad at one time or another and if we never forgot and forgave then we'd be calling each other things like liar, black-mailer, drug addict, adulterer, alcoholic, and God knows what else, and I know none of you would like me to call you these things and neither did Zander. He was so caring and sweet, he was everything any of you would want in a friend. He was loving and he would do anything, ANYTHING to help someone he cared about no matter what it cost him, even if it cost his freedom. I honestly regret that most of you never got to know him as anything more than a drug-dealing kidnapper but he was so much more than that and if in a few years all of you forget he ever existed there will be a few very lucky people that will always remember what a good impact knowing him made on our lives. Thank you," said Emily stepping down and receiving a hug from Alexis and her mother.
Everyone cleared out of the room to give her some privacy as she sat in a pew just staring at the closed casket trying to grab a hold of her tight strung nerves to say goodbye. She felt Lila's hand on her shoulder and turned and smiled at her Grandmother.
"Go say good bye to him, dear. It will make you feel better," said Lila soothingly and Emily thanked God that she had been taken into this family who loved her even if they didn't always show it in the best ways.
Emily held Lila's hand gathering strength from the seemingly frail woman. "Thank you for being here Grandmother," said Emily kissing her on the cheek, when the room was empty Emily walked up to the closed casket.
She ran her hand over the hard, smooth, wood of his casket. It felt cool under her touch, if only she had had the chance to reach out and touch him one last time. She threw her arms on the casket and her cheek rested right where his heart would have been. She tried to hold back the tears telling herself that it was not the time to break down, but that was what funerals were, a chance to say goodbye, to grieve, so she did. Her warm tears slid slowly down her cheeks and onto the casket. She started to cry harder, mourning everything she had lost, everything they had lost together.
"I don't know how to live with out you," she whispered when her tears had slowed.
"I expect this to all be a nightmare, it seems so unreal, I never believed that I would have to live without you. I keep hoping that if I pray hard enough I'll wake up tomorrow and you'll be there with me. The only thing that makes me believe that this IS real is the horrible pain I feel in my heart without you." The tears started to fall harder again and she couldn't speak because even breathing hurt to much.
When she started to speak again her words were punctuated by sobs of despair, "I never got to tell you that I love you, and I do love you and even though I didn't have the chance to say it I hope you knew it somehow. If you were here I know you wouldn't want me to cry, you would want me to be strong but I can't, I just can't, why did you leave me?" she asked but she knew no answer would come.