Fate: Meedeep. Fluffy has important things to say.
Disclaimer: But I don't. Oingo Boingo!
[6] In Which Yuugi Meets The Sexy New Ryou
Yuugi paced restlessly in his now-empty house. He hadn't heard anything from Yami since his mysterious command not to talk to Ryou on the phone.
What's wrong with Ryou? He sounded quite odd when we were speaking before, but it was only for twenty seconds or so. Then Yami called me off again. We both got a phone call at the same time, he reminisced with a smile. I wonder why he's keeping me in the dark like this. He sounded very nervous when he came back from changing. I wonder if he made the room more of a mess, Yuugi thought astutely. He padded around the bend and into the room he shared with Yami when he was in a physical form. Wouldn't mind sharing it with him all the time. Yeep. Scary thoughts. True thoughts, but scary thoughts. I'm only fifteen! Wow, he did a number on this place. Not that it wasn't a mess before, but still. Wow.
Yuugi surveyed the mess of pleather, vinyl, buckles, and glitter. I don't know how he wears this stuff. Man. He always seems to wear that sweatsuit. Eh, he's hot either way. I can think that! Fifteen-year-olds can think people are hot! We're old enough! I just gotta stop thinking about...um, other stuff. Yeah. Other stuff. Other stuff bad. I better get out of here, Yuugi decided, closing the door and leaning on it.
Man. I need to talk to someone about this sort of thing. Pity Yami's out of the running on a consultation. Now there's a great conversation to have with your yami. "I keep thinking that I want to grab you and shag you against the wall, but you know, I'm only fifteen, so I'm beginning to think I need some serious help. So let's either get it on or put me in a padded room, whichever you'd like." Hey, maybe that could work! Wait, wasn't that kinda what Ryou was saying? Really unlike Ryou, that was.
Yuugi retrained his thoughts to more innocent things and wandered into the kitchen. Soda. Yay. He carefully flipped the tab on a can and slammed back half the soda inside with practiced ease. Surge! Whee! He decorously set the can down on the countertop and wandered around some more as the caffeine took effect, keeping him awake. Wonder when Yami'll be back.
Just then he heard knocking at the door.
Oh, I bet I accidentally locked him out! Yuugi thought and took off running. He screeched to a halt by the door and flung it open.
Ryou was sitting on his front stoop, a knife in one hand and a Duel Monsters deck in the other.
And this would be an 'ooooohshit' moment, Yuugi thought. "Hey, Ryou," he said. "What's up?"
"Your yami's not home, then," Ryou said breathily. It was the same odd, not-so-refined voice that he'd heard over the phone. "Pity, that. He's ever so sexy in that leather."
Whoa! Yuugi thought. Ryou hitting on Yami? No wonder Yami told me to hang up on him. He's scaring me. And dammit, Yami's mine! "He's not here."
"Well, us hikaris are all alone again, then," Ryou said. "Mine just ran out on me, and yours went after mine." The silvery-haired boy sighed tragically, flicking the flat of the knife against the knuckles of the hand holding the Duel Monsters deck pensively. "I'd suggest starting something now and making it a threesome at least when Yami arrives, but I don't think anyone would join me."
"Ryou," Yuugi said, startled. "What are you talking about?"
"Hm? Oh, you know, snogging, making out, making love, flat-out fucking, all that fun stuff. And of course, some sort of pain. That's half the enjoyment. You can't know pleasure unless you've been through hell to get there," Ryou said, licking the tip of the knife, then going back to hitting it against his knuckles. "The taste of the blood really makes people wild. It's ever so much fun."
"Er," Yuugi said haltingly. Ryou was damn scary now. He was even worse than his bloodthirsty yami, in a way. "What's happened to you?" he found himself whispering.
Ryou tilted his head back and giggled, looking up at Yuugi. "Enlightenment? Now I see the world through..." he sighed reflectively, "...pink glasses. Or maybe purple. Or red. Some pretty color, I'm sure. But I was looking through black before. I couldn't see the colors. I couldn't appreciate the sensation of things, of being alive. Or of not being alive. It all depends, really," Ryou said, tilting his head to one side and pouting slightly. "The not being alive enhances my vitality, for sure. Why, my yami's not really alive anymore, and I'm so very...alive, for lack of a better word. Enlightened, yes. Empowered...ooh, I like that..." Ryou smiled lazily, stretching slightly.
"How would you like that, Yuugi? No, you wouldn't want to hurt your yami like that. I couldn't do that. It wouldn't be pure. You wouldn't like it at all. You see, in a relationship like mine, someone has to be in a state of pure bliss. But the other's got to be unhappy. It has to be balanced. And I've been tortured long enough. I wanted..." Ryou's smile grew wider. "I wanted love, once. But now...all I want is pleasure and pain and madness and wonder..." He threw his arms out, narrowly missing Yuugi.
"I found love, yes...love of sensation. I mean it. I can run barefoot to your house and love everything I feel. Everything I think. Everything I am. Breathing is bliss," Ryou said with delight. "And things a normal person would find enrapturing...ooh." The silver-haired boy licked his lips slowly.
Yuugi was frozen in the doorway. Oh, gods, what am I going to do? Ryou's gone psycho! And he's here! I don't want to set him off by calling Yami or anything, and that's kind of what Yami's dealing with anyway. I think I'd better just wait here 'til Yami gets back.
/Yami, whatever you're doing, hurry!/ was all Yuugi spared his attention to say. He then focused again on the strange creature that was sitting on his doorstep, too enthralled and afraid to take his mind off of him.
[-]
Yami froze in his tracks as he was trotting back home.
/Yami, whatever you're doing, hurry!/
Hikari, what is it? What's happening?he asked, deeply worried.
/No time to talk!/
Yuugi! Are you all right? Yuugi!
Yami then ran hell for leather towards the Kame Game Shop. Not him, not him, not him, don't do anything to him...
[-]
I hope he really hurries, Yuugi thought, almost afraid to blink in case Ryou wigged out and went completely nuts. He was still talking dreamily about his new view of life, with several lewd suggestions thrown in.
There! Distant, but there. Running footsteps. Yuugi had no doubt as to the runner's identity. It'll be safe soon. Thank you Ra, thank you God, thank you Buddha, thank you...um...Giant Post-It?
"Ooh, your delicious yami is on the horizon," Ryou said, shading his eyes with his knife hand and peering down the street. "If he finds me here, I don't think a threesome will be in order. Blood, maybe, though. Blood is so nice, and it'll get all over your stoop. Won't that be beautiful?" Ryou asked, rising to his feet. Yuugi felt a shock of nervousness as the taller boy stretched languidly, then sashayed across the sidewalk. "But your yami will be so angry, and I don't want to do that." He turned fluidly and blew a kiss to Yuugi, then winked and faded into the shadows across the street.
As soon as he'd done that, the spell broke. Yuugi burst out onto the stoop and screamed in every way he could, /"YAMI!"/
The aforementioned pharaoh hurtled up to Yuugi and gripped his shoulders protectively, automatically pulling him closer and bending slightly to look at him more closely. "You're all right? Is anything wrong? What happened?"
"Ryou..." Yuugi said shakily. "Ryou happened."
"Bloody hell," Yami muttered. "He called?"
"No," Yuugi said. "He showed up on the doorstep, and I was too afraid to move. I didn't know what would set him off. He had a knife, Yami! I thought he was going to freaking kill me!"
Yami's eyes widened. "He didn't have Bakura's knife, did he?"
Yuugi shuddered. "I don't know."
"You've never had a chance to be acquainted with it? Pity. It's an excellent blade," came a cheerful voice from across the street.
Yuugi and Yami both looked over at the shadows, gripping each other by the shoulders, frozen in their pose of watching the figure melting in and out of the shadows.
Ryou waved joyfully at them with the knife. "He was so angry when I took it, but then he got a little upset and left it with me, so I'm keeping it safe for him." Ryou giggled again and drew the flat of the blade across his throat sensuously, then shoved it into a pocket and held up his DM deck. "Now that you're reunited, you wonderful pair you, I'll let Yami do his devoted rescuer act. I know you've been wanting to do that for so long. I'm sorry my yami disappointed you. And ooh, you smell wonderfully of ginger," Ryou piped up. "Yuugi must be in heaven. Lucky man." Ryou smiled slowly and drew a card from his deck, then turned it between two fingers. "Won't you entertain him and me, you delicious thing? Let's see you play with the Earl of Demise!" Ryou winked again and slithered back into the shadows.
Yami and Yuugi both stared as a decaying, sword-wielding fiend materialized in the street and began drifting towards them.
"Here," Yuugi said, holding out his deck to Yami, who wound an arm around his hikari's shoulders and drew a card. "Dark Magician!" The stronger Monster overpowered Ryou's fiend with ease.
"Oh, lovely!" Ryou called from wherever he was. "So manly!"
Yuugi bit back a near-irresistible urge to start bellowing "Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm a lumberjack and I'm o-kay..." and instead began backing towards the house, pulling Yami with him. "Let's go inside. Now," he whispered.
"Yes," Yami agreed. The two stumbled inside and locked the door, then ran for their room at once. With that door locked as well, the pair quickly locked the shutters and then barricaded the door.
"What's happened to him?" Yuugi whispered.
Yami's eyes grew distant. "I don't know, but I intend to find out."
"Maybe I can help, too!" Yuugi said.
"Oh, aibou, I want to keep you out of this. If it affects you, too..." Yami winced at the very thought.
"Oh." Yuugi said. "I see."
Yami sat next to his hikari and slung an arm across his shoulders again. "Ra help whoever or whatever caused this," he murmured under his breath.
"Why?" Yuugi asked.
"Because Bakura's going to tear them limb from limb," Yami said frankly.
Yuugi nodded and leaned into his yami as the aftereffects of the Surge dwindled.
Outside, delighted, breathy laughter floated on the air, cloying and sweet and demonic.
[-]
"Hey, Yami?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think Ryou will ever go back to normal?" Yuugi asked softly. It was around one in the morning, an hour after Yami's return. They still didn't dare unblock the door or open the windows. Ryou had been stubborn at times when he was normal, to put it lightly. Thus, the pair had built a wall of the junk lying around on the floor all around them and were sitting in the middle of it, somewhat drowsily given the time and lack of caffeine.
"I hope so," Yami replied. "I don't want to be around that unscrupulous thief for any longer than necessary. And we're both going to die if we don't get coffee tomorrow morning."
"What are you doing with Bakura? What are you getting into without me, anyway?" Yuugi demanded fiercely.
Yami sighed. "Jounouchi, Bakura, and I are going to talk to Isis Ishtar tomorrow, hopefully when her pesky brother isn't in residence. The thief is staying at Jounouchi's house due to his injuries and his hikari problems."
"What?"
"He jumped through a closed second-story window, was hit by a car, then tackled me and fell down a flight of cement stairs," Yami recited for his incredulous hikari's benefit.
"Wow!" Yuugi exclaimed. Then his eyes narrowed. "Tackled you and fell down a flight of cement stairs?"
"Erm. Yes," Yami said.
"...Why?"
"Er. I told him about Ryou flirting with me over the phone, and he kind of panicked," Yami said. If he hadn't been so unwilling to disturb the very comfortable pose that he and Yuugi were in, he would have outright squirmed. "And then he went all melodramatic about losing Ryou, I told him to shut up, he went off in more melodramatic fits of tears, and we didn't get anything done."
"Ryou and his yami? Oh my God! They would be so cute together, just like – erp!" Yuugi hastily bit off his words and also bit his tongue. "Ow! Shit!"
"Just like what?" Yami asked, unconsciously hugging Yuugi closer.
"Er. Nothing!" Yuugi replied hastily.
"Tell," Yami pleaded in a most undignified way. A brilliant idea occurred, and he followed through with it. "Te-ell." Poke. "Tell meee." Poke poke poke. "Tell me!" Poke poke poke poke TACKLE.
"Ack! Okay, okay, okay! Er," Yuugi said again, turning a fascinating shade of fluorescent magenta and gaining a sweatdrop the size of an ostrich egg. "...us?"
"Us?" Ommigodsholyshitonmylifeasapharaohdon'tfuckthisup!
"Sorry. It just kind of slipped out," Yuugi apologized.
Yami grinned like an idiot. "Don't apologize."
Yuugi stared at him. Well, he could like me. Or he could be delirious from lack of sleep. Better not risk it. "You're not mad at me?" he asked, swiftly donning his Puppy Dog Look #1, The Irresistible 'Please Don't Kill Me' Look of DOOOOOOM! for good " Yami stammered. Damn. He looks amazingly sexy when he's nervous. There is definitely a gene for narcissism or incest or something that yamis and hikaris share. This is slightly disturbing, but I guess I could just go with it.
"Yami? Something wrong?" Yuugi asked.
Rather than answer, Yami ignored all the modern laws of dignity, grabbed his hikari, and started an Official Royal Game of Tonsil Hockey (tm).
Oh yeah. Must listen to my conscience a lot more these days, Yami thought after a very interesting interval of time.
"I'll take that as a 'no'," Yuugi said, sounding rather winded. "I think I'm going to need my inhaler."
"I can give you mouth-to-mouth," Yami suggested slyly.
"I bet you can."
Interesting activities promptly resumed.
"Bloody hell!" Yami announced about ten minutes later.
"Mmmh?" Yuugi mmmhed.
"You don't feel weird, do you?" Yami asked frantically.
"Define 'weird'," Yuugi said hazily.
"Like you want to go out and kill me and then screw my dead body senseless," Yami said, trying to think of the best way to describe what he was talking about. If...if Yuugi...
"Um. No dead bodies are in my thoughts at all," Yuugi said. "Wait a...do you think...me? Acting like Ryou?!"
"We thought that snogging triggered it," Yami said.
Yuugi shot him a 'oh get real you royal prat' look. This look, being infrequently used, wasn't numbered.
"And apparently, we were wrong," Yami found himself explaining.
"Want to make sure?"
"Good-o. Though I'm not sure I'd be complaining if you weren't psychotic but otherwise acted like Ryou."
"Oh really?" Yuugi looked definitely intrigued. "I don't know if I ever told you, but I'm really good at mimicry..."
Psychopathic hikaris, hysterical tomb robbers, strange and psychic women, and progressing slowly in a new relationship were all promptly forgotten at this point in time.
Well, Yuugi is fifteen.
Fluffy: I lied, we condensed these two chapters as well. Bwaa.
a very angry person: Ginger ale thrown out the window fuuuuuuun.
LightOfDarkness: Um...I'm thinking about it...really...
x20Deepx: Yay! Thankies!
S. A. Bonasi: Unique. Unique is gooooooood.
Luke SkyWolf: sets out to restrain Ryou
Sydney: She's about twelve years old and deranged. Need I say more?
Sailor Comet: It's six in the morning while writing this, with no caffeine. Mine is a long story. And a pathetic one.
moonnymph: Yay! People read the chapter titles! I read a lot of Patricia C. Wrede.
Keira: I was once attacked by a can of soda.
DJ Silence Yuy: Wasn't me.
Chibi: Bakura liked it too.
Labannya: Someone else reads the chapter titles! Oooh, and can I borrow your Giant Mallet of Doomation?
Carolyn: But I'll put it back together! Promise!
silver-fanged-dragon: Thanks for reviewing!
firedrayon97: Comin' riiiiiight up.
higashikaze: Yay. Silver-haired bishies rock.
Alyssa-Anime-Angel: Ryou in this chapter. Much MUCH Ryou in this chapter.
Saturn Imp: immediately both stop what they're doing and begin singing
Fyredra bounces round and throws glitter Wheeeeee!
hotaruchan27: Pixy Stix! Yay!
malik'sgurl: copies it down, vanishes briefly, then reappears Gave your review to Fate, even though she's unconscious. Thanks for reviewing!
Chibi: PLUSHIE! PLUSHIE! YAY! dances and huggles plushie
molten-amber: AUGH! Not the chibi eyes! I'm scarred for life! faints
FluffCat: snicker
FukaiMori: Hee. nn
Sailor Comet: Aww.
silver-fanged-dragon: Now you've torn it. Best not tell Ryou.
S. A. Bonasi: If Yugi's fifteen and 5', then he's my age and my height. And that's just not on. Everyone else can be 16, though.
Ri-chan: I've heard tell of a petition for Ryou to lap dance.
Duel: Go forth and...do stuff.